Fate, Faith & Family

Hey guys! To make a long story short, I had to re-register in order to post. I have some chapters of FF&F to share with you!! Enjoy!!

If you need to re-read, look under my old name, Brat, to catch up. Thanks!!


Chapter Fifteen

All Buffy could do was stand there as Spike left. She stood there for at least a good five minutes before checking on Nate.

Did Spike just—?

No.

He just said–?

No.

Buffy touched her lips. He did. He kissed her and told her he was in love with her. She just didn't know WHAT to make of it. She knew that her and Spike had always shared a special bond. A bond that no one, not even Anya could penetrate. Spike knew everything about her. The bad parts, the good parts and all the parts in between. And conversely, she knew all of that about Spike. She smiled as she remembered meeting the shy, quiet boy who was new and felt wildly out of place. Her heart had ached for him and she had made it her goal to make sure he felt as if he belonged.

Sure they'd gone their separate ways, but they had still remained best friends. They didn't need to have lengthy conversations everyday to stay that way. Oftentimes all it took was a single look to check and see if the other was doing all right.

Spike had been there for her when others had failed. She was the Queen of Arms Length and pushed people away at the moments she needed them the most. She supposed she was partly masochistic in that way. If she was going to feel awful, then might as well make sure she did a bang up job of it.

Spike never let her do that though. No, he was steadfast and stubborn in making sure he was going to stay by her side and weather any and all storms with her. She supposed that was why she could be so hard on him and, she hated to admit, so difficult and mean. She knew he'd never leave her, that he'd always be there no matter what, so with him she felt she could let it all hang out. Spike always took it in stride. He never took her crap for long. No, he gave back what she dished out.

Did that mean she loved him?

Well, now, what about Angel?

She sat down on the couch as Nate played in front of her and would now and then stop and watch the TV that she kept on Nickelodean, and she thought. Hard.

On the one hand, Angel was a great doctor, had a wonderful and pleasant personality, he was good with Nate. . . but was he GOOD with Nate? Sure he could make him laugh and keep him healthy, but was he the long haul guy that Nate needed in his life?
Then there was her. Okay, so he was pleasant, but could he fight with her like Spike could? Could he hold his own with her sometimes demanding attitude? Could he put her in her place and in the next instant make her laugh? More importantly, could he argue AT ALL? For Christ's sake, pleasant could be downright boring as hell.

Had any of Angel's kisses made her feel even close to what Spike's kisses had made her feel?

God no.

Her whole body had pulsed with Spike's kisses. Electric currents had shot up and down her body. Angel's kisses felt nice, but within minutes she had forgotten all about them. They never left her trembling and wanting more.

"Spike, Spike," Nate was saying and pointing at a picture on the coffee table.

Buffy looked to see it was a picture of Spike. "What Nate the Great?"

"Spike," he repeated.

Nate laughed, throwing his head back.

"You love your Uncle Spike don't you?"

"Spike," Nate said and lost himself in his trucks.

Buffy looked up at the clock. It was time to start getting ready for Angel.

'''''''''''

"What the hell are you doing?" Cordelia asked as Spike took his fifth shot of whiskey.

"Getting pissed."

"That's British for drunk, right?"

"How very," burp, "cultural of you."

"I take it, it didn't go well?"

"She got mad at me."

Cordy rolled her eyes. "She's afraid, she's confused. You spring this on her as she's planning on having se–"
"Can you stop now please?" Spike slurred angrily. "I don't want to hear anymore about that oversized...oversized....guy."

"Pathetic."

"Shut up."

"So this is your answer. Getting ‘pissed'. Maybe if you had, oh, I don't know, DONE something about this a long time ago like I TOLD you to, you wouldn't be sitting here alone, grumpy and PISSED, you'd be the one she was ready to have sex with."

Spike stared at her, his eyes welling up. He shook his head, trying to clear it, trying to clear images of Buffy and Angel doing the deed.
"I'll be in my office."

Cordy shook her head as she watched him stumble to his office. What in the world were the two bumbling idiots going to do now? Why did Buffy have to be so difficult when it was so blantantly obvious she loved Spike back? God, they were a stubborn pair. "Never a dull moment,' Cordy muttered.

"Is Spike okay?" Andrew asked, coming up to her.

"No, not really," Cordy sighed.

"What did you do to him? Did you break his poor, fragile heart?" Andrew sounded exasperated with her and near tears at the thought of Spike in pain.

Cordy blinked, "what? Break his heart?"

"I see you guys talking all the time, bickering back and forth. I'll be very upset with you Cordelia Chase if you shattered his heart!"

"I didn't--I'm not--we're not--" she stopped. Andrew thought they were together? Well, no wonder with all the freaking counseling sessions she gave him about Buffy. She looked towards his office, and bit her lip. A plan forming.

"Andrew, what time is Buffy in tomorrow?"

Andrew's eyes widened. "She'll scratch your eyes out for hurting Spike."

"Andrew, focus! What time?"

"Nine."

"My shift is over in about. . . thirty minutes. I'm going to take Spike home--to my house okay? Mend his broken heart."

"As well you should, you ungrateful woman!"

Cordy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Are you in tomorrow?"

"I am!"

"Okay, just call my house if you need him okay? I'm sure he'll be nursing a hang over tomorrow."

"Will do," he spun around, then spun back. "Boxers or briefs?"

"Huh?"

"Spike. Boxers or briefs?"

"Oh! Uh. . . " She grinned, "nothing."

Andrew looked wistfully at her, "you're so lucky." And he walked away.

"Oh, I'm lucky all right. I'm the lucky one helping the next Dumb and Dumber get together. I swear to God if this doesn't work in waking up one Miss Buffy Summers, I don't know what will." She shook her head and then chuckled, "scratch my eyes out." Cordy shrugged and then nodded, "yeah, she probably would. But I scratch back."


********************

Dinner was ready. Nate was asleep. All she needed was Angel. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, she chugged it down. Letting out a mighty burp, she set it down and the doorbell rang.

With liquid courage, she swung the door open and put on the brightest smile she could muster. "Hi."

He smiled, almost shyly, "hi." He thrust the bottle of wine in his hand forward and extracted red roses from behind his back.

"You didn't have to do that, Angel."

"I wanted to."

"Come in, please," she held the door open and he walked through. She finally noticed how spruced he looked. Well, truth was, outside of work, he always dressed nicely. Always with pressed pants, a nice button down, sometimes a blazer to complete the ensemble. Each strand of hair perfectly placed. . . did he ever just roll out of bed and not care? Could he pull a Spike and just wear a pair of sweats? Could he not do his hair and be like Spike and let his hair run wild? Spike's hair had natural curl to it and when he didn't tame it, it just---Buffy took a deep breath and turned to Angel.

"You look beautiful," he told her.

She looked down at the simple black dress she wore. The same dress that Spike once told her she could stop traffic in. She placed her hand over her necklace and twirled it between her fingers.

"What's wrong?" He asked her.

"What?"

"You're frowning."

"Oh. I am?"

He nodded.

"Angel. I think we need to talk."


Chapter Sixteen

Buffy woke up with a smile on her face. She looked beside her and smiled even wider. She'd forgotten what it was like to have someone else in bed with her. Reaching out, she ran a hand down his soft hair and covered him up to his chin.
Eyes, blue ones, popped open. "Auntie Buffy," he said on a whine. Yep, that was Nate all right. Not a morning person. At all.

"You want some breakfast?" She asked him.

"Juice box," he said and sprang up, scooting himself off the big bed and bounding down the hall.

She laughed and followed him. Finding the remnants of dinner from the night before, Buffy slightly cringed. Settling Nate down in the living room with milk instead of the preferred juice and a pop tart until she could whip up a real breakfast for him, she wondered how Angel was that morning. She was sure he was fine. Even if she had, in essence, dumped him. He'd actually taken it quite well, and to her surprise, hadn't been all that stunned by it. He'd even asked point-blank if it had anything to do with Spike.

"Spike?" She'd asked, dumbfounded. Had he known?

"Yeah, you know, Nate's uncle. The guy that gives me death glares every time I come within a foot of you and Nate. The guy whose handshakes threaten to break my hand. The guy—"

"I'm aware of the guy," Buffy said, waving her hand at him to stop. She stood up and grabbed the bottle of wine from the counter and proceeded to pop the cork under Angel's amused and yet, hurt and watchful eyes.

"What's going on with you two Buffy?" He asked quietly.

"Why are you bringing him into this?" She'd asked, wondering how he came into everything that concerned. . . everything.

"I didn't," he said and she stared at him, bottle in hand. She knew then. She had. All the musings she thought she'd done in private, well, she hadn't.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, defeated. Shoulders slumped, bottle back on the counter she slid back into her chair, stared at her hands.

"You love him," Angel said softly, matter-of-factly.
She didn't say anything. She didn't think it was right to voice something to Angel before she could to Spike. She simply nodded, slowly. Still unsure about the when, the where, how—Spike had had time to come to the conclusion and accept it before telling her, Buffy. . . well, she was a novice. She'd gone from being the best friend to being the romantic lead in the span of a few hours. She knew she did want to be with him, she just wanted to take it slow and develop it before jumping into anything. Sensible Buffy. Her first task had been to break things off with Angel. It was pointless to try and forge something that wasn't there.

"You should tell him. He loves you too."

Buffy looked up at him, surprised again. Not only had she been transparent, but apparently so had Spike. Who else knew for Christ's sake?

"I'm going to go now Buffy," Angel stood, looking uncomfortable all of a sudden.

He put his napkin down. "Walk me out?"

She sprang up, silently and walked him to the door, handing him his coat. He turned and smiled at her, pushing a stray hair away from her face. "See you at Nate's next appointment. Take care of yourself Buffy." And he walked out, leaving her shell shocked and uncertain. She'd tried calling the bar and spoken to Lorne. He told her he'd left early and then abruptly hung up. Needing to gather her own thoughts together, she decided to wait until morning before she made any decisions.

So, now, here she was. She needed to speak with him, that much was obvious. And what she wanted—and needed to tell him? That she loved him too and she wanted to give them a chance. First things first. She had to call Willow and find out if it she could just watch Nate for a couple hours while she spoke to Spike.

"Hello?"

"Wills? Hi, it's me, Buffy."

"Hey Buffy how are you? What's up?"

"I uh, well, a lot actually."

"Oh? Do tell."

"Um, I would love to, but before I can really tell you much of anything there's
something I need to take care of. Do you think you could watch Nate for just a couple hours?"

"Are you all right? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just need to talk to Spike for a little bit. Alone."

"Awww...the Spike I hear so much about."

Apparently, she'd had been talking about him a lot.

"Yeah. Is that okay? Can you watch him?"

"Uh. . . yeah, it's just, well, my um, friend is here."

"Oh, that's no trouble at all. Unless you have plans?"

"No, we don't. I mean, I can watch him, you don't mind if she comes with me do
you?"

"Not at all! Do you want me to bring him there? Would that be easier?"

"Actually, yeah, that'd be great. Thanks."

"No, thank YOU. We'll be over in a couple hours. I just need to make him a decent breakfast. The poor kid gets cereal and pop tarts during the week."

Willow laughed, "I understand. We'll be waiting."

"Thanks."

Two hours later Buffy finally had Nate fed, clothed, washed and ready to go. The kid
was dangerous with maple syrup and Buffy found a bath was in order after breakfast. By the time she fought him to get dressed, Buffy was worn out and needed a nap herself. When she pulled up to Willow's, Nate was fast asleep. Carefully she carried him to the door all the while lugging his diaper bag with her.

Willow opened the door with a big smile and then noticed Nate was sleeping and whispered a small "Hi."

"Hi. He fell asleep in the car on the way over. We had a busy morning. And it was just breakfast."

Willow giggled, "they can be that way sometimes."

"I'm seeing that," Buffy chuckled.

"Oh, is the little tyke—Buffy!"

Buffy recognized that familiar face and did a double take when she saw Tara standing just behind Willow. She wasn't quite sure what she should say or do at that point and decided to let Tara be her guide. The pieces had all fallen into place now. Willow was the girlfriend that feared her business would be ruined if everyone knew she was gay. Buffy's heart went out to her. Someone as wonderful as Willow shouldn't have to worry about something like that.

"You know each other?" Willow asked as she ushered Buffy in.

"She waits on me at The Watering Hole," Tara explained, darting a glance at Buffy that could only be read as ‘please don't say anything'.

"Oh really? Geez, I really need to start eating there. You love the place, the elusive Spike owns it. I need to get out more."

Buffy giggled and settled Nate down on the extra crib Willow had set up. The woman had extra everything from the daycare and from all her days babysitting. Nate stirred just a little and then rolled over on his tummy.

Buffy pressed a kiss on his head with her hand. "Come down some night. Let me know when you guys want to come and I'll make reservations. I'll even wait on you." She told Willow as they left Nate in the extra room.

"That would be really nice. We could dress up, have a night out—" Willow stopped. "Because sometimes you need a girl's night," she said nervously, darting a glance at Tara.

Buffy saw the hurt look on Tara's face and decided to jump in no matter what she told herself about getting involved.

"Or sometimes you just need to go out with the one you love," she said as diplomatically as she could and stole a cautious glance at Willow, who was doing a perfect impression of a guppy.

"It's okay Wills," Buffy assured her.

"How do you--?"

Buffy shrugged, "I'm intuitive that way." Unless it comes to my own life, she added
to herself. "It's really no big deal."

Willow was blushing. "I just don't want anyone at work to know. . . I don't want to lose my business. I know some of those parents, some of them aren't as open minded as some. It's not that I want to live my life in the closet, but I just have to be careful. You understand?"

Buffy nodded vigorously, "I do, but at the same time, you have to do what's right for you."

Willow nodded, looking down. "I know."

"So if you wanted to take Tara out for dinner, no one has to be the wiser."

Willow grinned and took Tara's hand in hers, staring at the girl with complete love in her eyes. "Absolutely."

Tara beamed back at her and Buffy decided it was a good time to leave. "I'll be by in a couple hours. Thanks guys."

"Welcome Buffy. Take your time. If you uh, get held up just let us know. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink."

Buffy couldn't help but laugh at Willow's non subtlety and slipped out the door.

Arriving at the restaurant, Buffy's stomach chose that moment to be full of butterflies. Her throat suddenly felt dry and she was starting to ring her hands. Taking a deep breath, she made herself go inside. She stopped just in the doorway and looked around. She didn't see Spike anywhere, but that didn't mean anything. She went up to Andrew behind the bar.

"Hey, Andrew."

"Hi Buffy! How are you today?"

"I'm great, thanks. Is Spike here?"

Andrew broke out into a wide grin. "He's not. He's getting his poor heart mended."

"Excuse me?" Buffy asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Cordelia saw the error of her ways last night and took him home."

Buffy blinked, "excuse me?"

"Oh you know those two have had something going on for months now! Well, she finally saw the light last night and took him home to make him all better." Buffy swallowed, her throat drier than the Saharra. Her heart was thudding out of her chest and she suddenly felt as if she couldn't breathe.

"She took him home?" She chirped.

Andrew nodded vigorously. "Yep! I'm sure they're all better now."

Tears pricked her eyes and she stood there, still. She stared at a spot over the bar, fixated on it. Then, "I'm going to fucking kill him," came out her mouth.