Warm Again
Warm Again
Title: Warm Again
Author: Guanín
Pairing: Doyle/Angel(us)
Summary: Angel just wants to feel warm.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Joss Whedon.
Starlit eyes sparkle in the dim light, blurred with recent sleep
He nudges his head, beckoning
“Come in.”
The invitation hovers, irrevocable
You enter, close the door
It locks silently
The taste of alcohol hangs in the air, pungent and heady
It glazes the gentle light of the half-demon’s eyes
He motions you to a seat
You don’t take it, neither does he
He shifts his feet, begins to speak
It’s late, I was already in bed, is everything all right, do you need something
You hardly hear the words
You can only see his mouth
Full bottom lip
Pink tinge
Moist as a pinker tongue darts across it
You want to lick it
Take it between your teeth and suck it raw
Suck the blood to the surface
Red
Warm
Sweet
“Angel?”
Your eyes fly up
“You alright, man?”
You hear the hint of nervousness in his voice
Confused, unsure
It intrigues you
Excites you
Makes your mouth water with anticipation
You draw nearer, step by step
Come so close you can smell his musk
Smell his sweat
Smell his lust
Lust that matches your lust
His legs hit the back of the couch
His hands grip the frame, hard
You lean in, take a breath
Whisky and soap, vice and purity
“Doyle.”
The wide moons of his eyes look up at you
“Doyle, I need…”
Your voice is husky, aching, pleading
You look at him with want, with hope, with regret
Slight tightening of his brow
His lips waver
“What…”
You lean in slowly
His Adam’s apple bobs and dips
His hands shift and flutter
But his eyes are still, fixed
His intense stare gleams with a subtle flame
These eyes that can gaze into your mind
Penetrate your defenses
And see the blacks and blues that burden your soul
You feel weak in front of them
He can see he can see me what if he knows he has been told but he can’t know something to atone for that’s what he said but he can’t know the pain the anguish the utter torment of every being that I have killed with these hands drenched in blood he is pure he is good I need him help heal me
You press closer
The heat of his body warms you, chasing away the darkness
You incline your head
Pause
Give him time to escape
He does not move
Your lips brush his, gently
His breath comes in wisps of fast breeze
Your mouth covers his completely
You gaze beseechingly into his adamant eyes
The world is still for a moment
A minute
An eternity
His eyes close in surrender and his mouth
Soft, pliant, perfect
Opens
The warmth, the exquisite taste
It is ecstasy
Silk rose petals kissed with sweet honey
The inquisitive and hungry bee probes
Wanders the delicious depths
Searching for the hidden prize
Its whole life is reduced to this
The hunger, the thirst, the need
And when it finds it, it knows it is home
Like you are
Home, safe
You weave your fingers through the silky dark mass of his hair
Cradle his head tenderly
He touches you
A hand on your chest
You fear he will push you away
He does not
His hand simply lies there, still
Warm, living flesh over the cold, dead mass that was once a heart
His heart thump thumps in your ear
Warmth, heat
You crave, yearn for
The fire that burns within him
You grasp his hand
A desperate attempt to trap the heat
Breathe it in
Claim it for your own
You release his mouth
His lips are flushed, ruby red
Rose petals
His chest rises and falls quickly
His mouth gasps for breath
You stole it, literally
He blinks
His eyes gaze at you
Awe, surprise
Pleasure
Sparkle in them
“Wow. Angel, that was--”
You bring a finger up to his lips
“No words.”
You plead silently for permission, understanding
With your eyes
Your hand slips beneath his shirt
Trails up the curve of his spine
Soft skin shimmers with sweat
Warm
Sweat you can taste as you kiss the corner of his mouth
You pull him closer
Press yourself against his stomach
You tilt his head back
Expose the graceful line of his jawbone
The flawless curve of his neck
The low light casts the pale skin in soft shadow
Your keen sight catches each detail
The glowing sheen
The smooth texture
Gleaming
Beautiful
You taste him with your lips, your tongue
You savor his scent
Rich
Heady
Not quite human
Not quite demon
Your lips wander over his throat
Light as butterfly wings
Delighting in every dip, every rise
The salty taste that greets your tongue
The alluring aroma that teases your nose
The quivering skin that tickles your mouth
Delectable
Want him
Need him
You find his pulse point
Thump, thump
His heart beats loudly
Eclipsing all thought
Blood
Warm
Sweet
Flows just under the gossamer layer of his skin
Heat
Life
Want it
Need it
Your hand closes upon his on the couch
You gently, ever so gently, kiss the pulsing vein
You want it
You softly, ever so softly, say his name
“Doyle”
You need it
His hand tightens on your chest
You change, open your mouth, and bite
He stiffens
Cries out in shock and pain
You feel him push against you
You grab his wrist, force his hand still
His bones grind in your fierce grip
Crack
He screams
You pay him no attention
The blood surges into your mouth
Quick
Warm
Richer than the finest wine
It flows smoothly, joyfully
Down your throat
You taste the demon in it
It is new, different
It is the most exquisite thing you have ever tasted
The sweetest nectar of the gods
Cannot be better than this
It is life you drink
Pure
Innocent
Divine
You hear his frail voice crying
“Angel”
Your free hand rises, covers his mouth
Silence him
His blood courses through every fiber of your being
It sings within you
A lively tune
Warm
Rich
His life passes into you
No
It tingles in your fingers
Your arms
Your legs
Your toes
It satisfies you completely
Warm
You are warm
You feel--
Sharp jolts of pain slice through your palm and face
You pull back with a growl
He wears his demon face now
Green skin and blue spikes
Red eyes glimmer with a waning flame
The bite mark gleams on the now verdant neck
Crimson drops cling to the wound like red tears
He leans heavily against the couch
Holds his wounded wrist to his chest
His other hand weakly grasps the frame
You take a step forward
He moves abruptly, nearly falls
So weak
So vulnerable
He scrambles to get away
Upsets a lamp
It crashes to the ground
You move closer
Don’t
You smell him
Blood
Fear
The life that fades away with every withering heartbeat
He stumbles and falls
Scurries backwards
You follow
He hits a wall
Opens a cabinet and desperately searches inside
Brandishes a pencil in front of him
Pitiful weapon
It won’t save him
Another step
His demon face falls away
A sharp, jarring blow slams into your chest
Doyle, no
He is so pale, so very pale
The bite mark glares at you, accusing
Traitor
Murderer
His blood still lingers in your mouth
He trusted you with his life
And you nearly took it away
The spark in his eyes is diminished
Nearly gone
I’ve killed him
His eyes are so hurt
So betrayed
So afraid
He should be
“Doyle.”
“Don’t come near me!”
His voice is pained
Fragile
Frightened
It spears you like a poisoned l
Doyle, I am so sorry
The pencil wavers in his hand
He is not strong enough to wield it properly
Helpless
You could grab him
Shove him against the wall
Take him inch by delicious inch
Bask in the warmth
As his life flies into you
Rich and sweet
Maybe eat his heart for desert
Stop it. Stop. It.
But you won’t
You’ll keep your remorse
Your guilt
Your pathetic attempt at humanity
Your broken fairy tales
Shut up. Just shut up
You’ll run
Hide like the coward you are
But you can’t hide from this
It is imprinted in your precious soul
His alluring scent
His divine taste
The marvelous feel of his body
His exquisite mouth
His sweet blood
Warming you for the first time since Buffy
He will remain with you
Forever
I’m sorry
He hates you
You feel it in your bones
His eyes are so wounded
Blighted stars on a cloudy eve
They will never show you trust again
I’m so sorry
You move backwards to the door
He watches you steadily
Not letting his guard down
You open the door
Cross the threshold
A sharp click rings as the door closes
You stare at it, frozen
The invitation hovers, irrevocable
But you are not welcome
Never again
You hear him put the lock and deadbolt into place
A mournful sound
And you are alone, abandoned
Cold
You never will be warm again