Scabs
folder
Angel the Series › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,357
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Angel the Series › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,357
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Angel: The Series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Scabs
DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own Spangel, but I'm expecting Joss to give them to me at any minute.
PAIRING: Spangel all the way baby!
RATING: Weeellll, it's not exactly hard core porn, but it made a few people go 'Ewwwwwwww' so I'll stick with NC-17.
SET: Where else - in bed.
FEEDBACK: Yes Please!
WEBSITE: www.colddeadseed.com. Join in the Spangel love ( yes, there's also Spuffy, Spred and even Spander too). Discussion, forums and fics by various writers far superior to me.
SCABS:
“Why doesn’t anyone ever mention scabs?”
“What?”
“Scabs. Bits of dried blood that form a crust over a wound and …”
“Spike, I know what scabs are. I just can’t figure out why you’re talking about them.”
“Well in every fic I read where we get hurt, we lick each other clean and the wounds miraculously close. They forget about the scabs.”
“Buffy was a family show. Family shows don’t do scabs.”
“Pppffttt. From the age of five to eleven every kid has at least a dozen scabs on his body. Of course families do scabs.”
“But not on television. It has to be good, clean fun.”
“Like stabbing people and murdering them is okay, but scabs are evil?”
“Something like that, yes.”
“It’s just stupid. I mean only the other day I grew a fantastic scab on my butt after you humped me senseless and sunk your nails into my …”
“Spike!”
“Well, you did!”
“Okay, I did, but you wouldn’t have had much of a scab if I’d licked the wound clean.”
“Oh yeah, like you were going to lick me there.”
“Heh. Are they all still obsessed with … you know.”
“The Butt-licking? Us sticking our tongues in each other’s puckered entrances? Yeah.”
“That’s horrible. Why would they think we would do that?”
“It’s the lack of poo.”
“The what?”
“Vampires don’t need to poo. We don’t shit. So I guess they figure we’d be happy to go delving into each other’s bumcracks with our tongues at every opportunity.”
“Sorta sick when you think about it.”
“Absolutely. They never stop to consider what your fat arse must taste like after a long sweaty night fighting demons in ballcrackingly tight leather trousers.”
“Hey! I shower!”
“Oh don’t get me started on the showering.”
"We'd be waterlogged if we took the amount of showers the writers credit us with."
"Not to mention wrinkly."
"There was no need to smile at me when you said 'wrinkly'."
"Nervous tic, luv."
"Hmmph. Anyway, at least some of the writers show me having a bath occasionally. I prefer baths."
"Yeah, but most of them figure the logistics of having sex in a bath is too difficult to deal with, so they don't bother to write about bath-sex."
"They got that right."
"I seem to remember you letting me share a bath with you on a couple of occasions."
"That won't happen again as long as you insist on farting underwater."
"Hah! I don't poo, but I can fart for England! Never hear about that in fan fiction."
"Thank goodness. I think the writers don't want to dwell on whatever distasteful habits you have. They're too busy repeatedly making you cry so we can have comfort sex."
"Oh for crying out loud! What the hell is up with that, anyway? I don't fucking blubber all the time."
"You do when we split up."
"We only split up in fan fiction and if we did split up in real life it would be because I dumped you, in which case I would be throwing a party, not bloody crying."
"You'd sob your shrivelled up heart out."
"Would not!"
"Would too!"
"When was the last time you ever saw me crying?"
""Last Thursday when I had to pull that enormous splinter out of your backside."
"Oh ....Well, that bloodywell hurt!"
"You were sobbing into my Armani like a three year old."
"Okay, quit it."
"Had to stroke your neck for half an hour before you stopped snivelling."
"Shut up, Angel!"
"Then we had comfort sex."
"Oh ... oh yeah, we did, didn't we?"
"Mmmmm."
"Mmmmm."
*Pause*
"Spike?"
"What?"
"Do you think I'd better check to see if digging the splinter out left you with a ...you know."
"Scab on my perineum?"
"I was going to say scab on your bumcrack."
"Gotta say perineum, luv. Makes all the fan fiction writers sound all anatomically correct if they manage to mention perineums at least once every sex scene."
"Sounds a bit clinical."
"Oh they make sure the perineums are always 'velvety' or 'silky smooth', just to keep the fantasy going."
"So why's it never a hairy perineum?"
"Hairy! You must be kidding! No hairy gonads for us, mate. We're too busy swallowing ropey strands of creamy white love juice and shuddering through the best orgasms of our lives to be picking crusty pubic hairs off the back of our tongues half way through a messy blow job."
"Yeah, I've noticed that. Not for us a box of tissues or a manky old towel by the bed to clean ourselves up. We always seem happy to lick each other clean."
"I wanna read one where a doctor takes a blood test and finds out you and I are actually made up of 40% blood and 60% cum."
"We could be a special sub species. Cumpires!"
"Scabby Cumpires!"
"Souled Scabby Cumpires!"
"Nice one pet."
*pause*
"So, about that scab...."
PAIRING: Spangel all the way baby!
RATING: Weeellll, it's not exactly hard core porn, but it made a few people go 'Ewwwwwwww' so I'll stick with NC-17.
SET: Where else - in bed.
FEEDBACK: Yes Please!
WEBSITE: www.colddeadseed.com. Join in the Spangel love ( yes, there's also Spuffy, Spred and even Spander too). Discussion, forums and fics by various writers far superior to me.
SCABS:
“Why doesn’t anyone ever mention scabs?”
“What?”
“Scabs. Bits of dried blood that form a crust over a wound and …”
“Spike, I know what scabs are. I just can’t figure out why you’re talking about them.”
“Well in every fic I read where we get hurt, we lick each other clean and the wounds miraculously close. They forget about the scabs.”
“Buffy was a family show. Family shows don’t do scabs.”
“Pppffttt. From the age of five to eleven every kid has at least a dozen scabs on his body. Of course families do scabs.”
“But not on television. It has to be good, clean fun.”
“Like stabbing people and murdering them is okay, but scabs are evil?”
“Something like that, yes.”
“It’s just stupid. I mean only the other day I grew a fantastic scab on my butt after you humped me senseless and sunk your nails into my …”
“Spike!”
“Well, you did!”
“Okay, I did, but you wouldn’t have had much of a scab if I’d licked the wound clean.”
“Oh yeah, like you were going to lick me there.”
“Heh. Are they all still obsessed with … you know.”
“The Butt-licking? Us sticking our tongues in each other’s puckered entrances? Yeah.”
“That’s horrible. Why would they think we would do that?”
“It’s the lack of poo.”
“The what?”
“Vampires don’t need to poo. We don’t shit. So I guess they figure we’d be happy to go delving into each other’s bumcracks with our tongues at every opportunity.”
“Sorta sick when you think about it.”
“Absolutely. They never stop to consider what your fat arse must taste like after a long sweaty night fighting demons in ballcrackingly tight leather trousers.”
“Hey! I shower!”
“Oh don’t get me started on the showering.”
"We'd be waterlogged if we took the amount of showers the writers credit us with."
"Not to mention wrinkly."
"There was no need to smile at me when you said 'wrinkly'."
"Nervous tic, luv."
"Hmmph. Anyway, at least some of the writers show me having a bath occasionally. I prefer baths."
"Yeah, but most of them figure the logistics of having sex in a bath is too difficult to deal with, so they don't bother to write about bath-sex."
"They got that right."
"I seem to remember you letting me share a bath with you on a couple of occasions."
"That won't happen again as long as you insist on farting underwater."
"Hah! I don't poo, but I can fart for England! Never hear about that in fan fiction."
"Thank goodness. I think the writers don't want to dwell on whatever distasteful habits you have. They're too busy repeatedly making you cry so we can have comfort sex."
"Oh for crying out loud! What the hell is up with that, anyway? I don't fucking blubber all the time."
"You do when we split up."
"We only split up in fan fiction and if we did split up in real life it would be because I dumped you, in which case I would be throwing a party, not bloody crying."
"You'd sob your shrivelled up heart out."
"Would not!"
"Would too!"
"When was the last time you ever saw me crying?"
""Last Thursday when I had to pull that enormous splinter out of your backside."
"Oh ....Well, that bloodywell hurt!"
"You were sobbing into my Armani like a three year old."
"Okay, quit it."
"Had to stroke your neck for half an hour before you stopped snivelling."
"Shut up, Angel!"
"Then we had comfort sex."
"Oh ... oh yeah, we did, didn't we?"
"Mmmmm."
"Mmmmm."
*Pause*
"Spike?"
"What?"
"Do you think I'd better check to see if digging the splinter out left you with a ...you know."
"Scab on my perineum?"
"I was going to say scab on your bumcrack."
"Gotta say perineum, luv. Makes all the fan fiction writers sound all anatomically correct if they manage to mention perineums at least once every sex scene."
"Sounds a bit clinical."
"Oh they make sure the perineums are always 'velvety' or 'silky smooth', just to keep the fantasy going."
"So why's it never a hairy perineum?"
"Hairy! You must be kidding! No hairy gonads for us, mate. We're too busy swallowing ropey strands of creamy white love juice and shuddering through the best orgasms of our lives to be picking crusty pubic hairs off the back of our tongues half way through a messy blow job."
"Yeah, I've noticed that. Not for us a box of tissues or a manky old towel by the bed to clean ourselves up. We always seem happy to lick each other clean."
"I wanna read one where a doctor takes a blood test and finds out you and I are actually made up of 40% blood and 60% cum."
"We could be a special sub species. Cumpires!"
"Scabby Cumpires!"
"Souled Scabby Cumpires!"
"Nice one pet."
*pause*
"So, about that scab...."