Hope

Title: Hope (1/?)

Author: QueenC

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: Angel(us)/Cordeliawn/Dawn/Connor; Willow/Spike

Disclaimer: Do I *look* like Joss Whedon to you?

Distribution: Anyone I send it to. If anyone else wants it, just let me know!

Spoilers: Anything and everything.

Summary: AU. Cordelia returns to Sunnydale to face her past, bringing with her a surprise no one expects.

Authors Notes: Ok. This story is completely AU after Season Two. The premise to it is that Cordelia and Angelus had a relationship. Once he was re-cursed, she left town, never telling anyone where she was going. Hence, she is *not* in LA working with Angel. She never even graduated high school. Also, as in all my fics, Angelus is Spike's sire. I don't care what kinds of drugs Joss is on. Words in *'s are emphasized. Words in 's are thoughts. Words in ~'s are flashbacks.

******

Home. As Cordelia Chase stood in the living room of the mansion where she had spent some of the best and worst times of her life, that was the only word that kept coming to her jumbled mind. Home. Just one word, merely four letters, and yet it invoked emotions within her that had lay dormant for five years.

Love, hate, happiness, fear, and ultimately betrayal were just some of the feelings that she had experienced within the walls of this now abandoned building. It was here that she had fallen in love with her mate. It was here that she had also told that same mate to "go to hell" shortly before she had left town, her heart in pieces. Therefore, it only seemed fitting that this was the first place she had come to in search of him. The only question was, had her mate survived that night? Was Angelus still alive?

Sighing, the former May Queen glanced around the room, her hazel eyes landing on the body shaped scorch marks on the floor.

Her mind began buzzing with scenarios, each one worse than the previous. The only thing that she could take solace in was the fact that the world was still there. This meant that he hadn't succeeded in his insane plan to open the gates of hell. However, that thought did little to ease her fears.

"Is this our new house, mommy?" a small voice asked.

Cordelia forced the morbid thoughts away as she smiled at the little girl standing beside her. Her beautiful child and pride and joy. The daughter that she never thought she would have, by no natural laws should have. The living, breathing, statement to the love once shared by herself and the Scourge of Europe.

"No, baby. This isn't our new house. I was just..." she paused, unsure how to put what she was doing into words that the five year old would be able to comprehend. Reliving the past? Re-opening old wounds that had never really healed? Searching for answers to questions she didn't even know she was asking?

While all of these analogies were factual, she couldn't very well tell the girl that. Therefore she she opted for the easiest tactic. Change the subject.

"Would you like to see the place where I first met your daddy?" she asked in a falsely bright tone, forcing the images of destruction that her mind had come up with away. Now was not the time. Not in front of Hope. Never in front of Hope.

The brown-eyed girl smiled, nodding. "Sure, mommy. Let's go," she said, taking her mother's hand.

Taking a deep breath and casting one last mournful glance around the house that had once been her sanctuary, Cordelia turned and walked out into the night.

As they exited the mansion, Cordelia held her daughter's hand tighter, clutching a cross in her other hand. Although she hadn't seen a vampire since her brief vacation in New Orleans nearly two years ago, she knew better than to fall into the false sense of security that the Hellmouth projected.

Ushering Hope into the passenger seat of her car, the former cheerleader did a quick check of her surroundings before heading to the driver's side and getting in, quickly shutting the door behind her.

Hope watched her mother silently, feeling the fear coming from her. She shrugged, not worrying too much about it. Her senses told her that they weren't in any danger. No monsters were nearby right now. Getting on her knees for a better view, the little girl watched the scenery pass by, wondering what was in Sunnydale that had her mother so worried.

Cordelia drove down the quiet streets, saying a silent prayer to the Powers That Be that she didn't come across a certain blonde haired slayer, provided the girl was still alive. She just could not handle seeing anyone from the "Scooby Gang" right now. Not until she found out what had happened to Angelus. However, she also knew that there was a very distinct possibility that the only people that would know what had happened to her mate were the very people that she hoped to avoid.

The woman sighed, cursing the irony that seemed to rule her life. She glanced at Hope, a purely maternal smile filling her face. Even with all of the pain that she had experienced in Sunnydale, she wouldn't change a thing, even if she could. Because, to change her time in her hometown would mean running the risk that she wouldn't have the only thing that mattered to her; Hope.

As they neared the center of the small California town, Cordelia realized that it was time to stop putting off the inevitable talk that she needed to have with her child. Taking a deep breath, she tried to organize her jumbled thoughts.

"Honey, we need to talk about something very important. I need you to listen to me, and not to argue, ok?" she began, looking at Hope, making sure that she was, in fact, paying attention.

Hope twisted in her seat, nodding. "Ok, mama. What is it?" she questioned softly.

Cordelia opened her mouth, then closed it again. How could she put this into words that a five-year-old would understand?

"Ok. Do you remember what I told you in Atlanta last summer?" she asked.

Hope nodded vigorously, smiling. "Yup. You told me not to let strangers in the house, and not to go anywhere at night without you," the girl stated matter-of-factly.

Cordelia smiled, nodding. "Very good. Now, I know that it seems like a silly rule. But, here, it's very important that you do exactly as I said, all right? There are people, bad people that can hurt you if you don't do as I say."

Hope nodded, turning to look out the window in time to see one of the many cemeteries of Sunnydale go past. Slowly, she turned back to look at her mother, her face solemn.

"You're wrong, mommy," she said seriously. Seeing her mother's confused look, she elaborated, "They aren't people. They're monsters." That being said, she once more turned her attention towards the window.

Cordelia didn't bother to comment on Hope's knowledge of things that went bump in the night. After all, it only made sense that the child of Angelus would have abilities that other children wouldn't. However, the true extent of her abilities were very much unknown.

"Mama, look!" Hope suddenly exclaimed, pointing out the window. Cordelia squinted, unable to see whatever had her child so distraught.

"What is it, baby?" she asked quietly, resisting the urge to speed up. Then, she felt her heart stop in her chest as her former school came into view.

She never heard Hope whisper, "That's the bad place I dreamed about."

Moving on autopilot, she pulled her car to the side of the road and jumped from it, her eyes never leaving what remained of Sunnydale High.

Cordelia stood on the sidewalk, tears blurring her vision. There was nothing left except for some rubble.

"Oh God," she gasped as a terrifying thought occurred to her.

Hope watched silently from the car as her mother began crying. She started to open her door, then remembered what she had just finished being told, and decided to remain where she was. Instead, she used her virtual vampiric hearing to listen to the whispered cries of her mother.

As the young woman stood in front of the ruins of the building where she had earned the title of "Queen C", she let her mind wander back to all of the things that happened there.

She had seen the Hellmouth open her sophomore year; had very nearly been sucked into it. She had learned about the truth of vampires, demons, and other super natural forces within those walls. She had learned what it meant to be popular and what it had meant to have friends. This was the spot where she had discovered both the best and worst that the world had to offer. And, now it was all gone, with it the possibility of ever learning what had happened.

While Cordelia was busy reminiscing down memory lane, mourning the deaths that were to have certainly occurred at the former high school, Hope was attempting to focus her senses on the magical energies that the were seeping from the building.

Too young to understand what she was sensing was the Hellmouth still very much at work, all she knew was that it was powerful, old, and very, very evil. That, and it called to her.

If she closed her eyes, the young girl could practically hear its siren song, whispering to her, beckoning her closer. She relaxed, reaching out with her mind, and was promptly brought back to the here and now, fear consuming her.

"Mama!" she cried, trying to get her mother's attention. She looked out the back window, her eyes landing on a man that was coming towards them, a smirk on his face. His very deformed face.

"No! Mama, get in the car!" Hope screamed, resisting the sudden urge to break the window. She didn't know what was causing the urge to protect her mother, nor what was making it so strong. She also didn't have time to analyze it. Right now, she had to protect the only person she had in the entire world. Frantically, she pulled against the door handle, fully intending on jumping from the vehicle and stopping the monster before he could do any damage.

It was the partial opening of the passenger door that snapped Cordelia from her mourning. Suddenly aware of her surroundings, she heard Hope screaming her name in terror, and turned to look at her little girl.

"Hope, what is it?" she asked, looking into the girl's brown eyes. She gasped in surprise as Hope's eyes suddenly flashed yellow as the girl stared past her. A growl that sounded very much like Angelus' erupted from the child's chest, and the woman instantly knew that someone, or rather something, was behind her.

Calmly, Cordelia clutched the cross that she had in her jacket and spun on her heel, holding the object in front of her. A vampire stood there, his demonic face morphing into a cruel smile.

"Oh, look. Isn't that cute," he said, motioning towards the cross. "Do you really think that's going to protect you?" he asked, looking at his potential meal.

Cordelia shrugged, leaning back against the passenger door. "Yeah, well, seeing as how you aren't currently snacking on me, I'm going to lean towards yes," she retorted.

The vampire laughed. "Aren't you a feisty one," looking past her, his cold gaze landed on Hope, who was frantically trying to get out of the car. "And, you even brought me an appetizer," he cooed.

Cordelia narrowed her eyes, her maternal instinct overriding her sense of survival. "Stay in the car, Hope," she said in an eerily calm voice, her eyes never leaving the vampire. "Everything's going to be just fine."

He laughed. "That's right, little girl. Everything's just fine. Why don't you come on out here? I have something to show you," he stated.

Hope growled louder, yet remained where she was as her mother's words registered.

"Hey, I have something to show you, too," Cordelia suddenly snarled, pressing the cross into his face, smirking as his skin began to sizzle. However, her victory was short lived.

With a yell, he slapped the cross from her hand, slammed her against the car door, pinning her arms to her side. He forced her head to the side, baring her neck to him, and prepared to bite her.

Cordelia struggled uselessly against him, her heart breaking as she heard her daughter practically howl in agony at her inability to help. Then, something truly amazing happened.

Mere centimeters from her skin, the vampire stopped, his eyes landing on the two small scars on her skin. He raised confused and fear filled eyes to hers, then whispered one word. "Angelus." Then, he crumpled to dust before her eyes.

Cordelia watched as he disintegrated, immediately turning to look at Hope, who was still in the car, her eyes wide.

Not even questioning how the vampire had been staked, she opened the door, holding her daughter tightly against her.

"Shh, baby. It's ok. I''m ok," she soothed.

"I know, mama. The nice man saved you," Hope said calmly, peering over her mother's shoulder at their savior.

"Nice man?" Cordelia echoed. As if on cue, she heard a voice.

"Miss, are you alright? He didn't bite you, did he?"

Slowly, Cordelia turned back around, her eyes landing on someone that she hadn't seen in five years. Someone that she hadn't wanted to necessarily see again.

"Xander."

******

"Look out behind you!" Angel yelled, watching in horror as his son turned to face the demon one second too late. An instant later, the teenager was flying through the air, landing with a thud at the entrance to the alley.

The souled vampire growled, his face morphing as he impaled his opponent with his broad sword, then began stalking towards the scum that had dared to touch his child. Out of his peripheral vision, Angel saw Conner jump to his feet and launch himself at the same demon, his face a mask of outrage and indignation.

Angel paused, watching in abject horror and pride, as Conner cleanly and easily decapitated the demon, a smirk on his face the entire time.

Angel thought silently, grimacing as greenish colored blood splattered everywhere, covering his silk shirt. Then, he locked eyes with his son, smiling.

"Well, that went well. And to think that Ana said that these guys were tough!" he joked, kicking the head of the demon away.

Conner nodded, smiling. "They weren't anything compared to the Garusa's we fought last week," he replied, picking up the broad sword that had been left in the other demon. He tossed it to his father and turned, heading out of the alley, Angel following.

As the duo made their way down the empty streets of LA, Angel couldn't help but marvel at how much his and Conner's relationship had changed in the past few months.

It seemed like a lifetime ago that Conner had left him in that box to rot at the bottom of the ocean. Then, the PTBs had intervened and given his Seer, Ariana, a vision, showing her everything. Immediately, she had found Conner, told him who Holtz's true killer had been, and assisted the boy in removing him from his watery tomb. Now, just three months later, he and his son were finally developing the type of relationship that he wanted; one of friendship, love, and respect.

Conner shot Angel a sideways glance, a smirk on his face. "You're doing it again," he said quietly.

Angel blinked, a blank look crossing his face. "Doing what?" he asked.

The teenager chuckled, shaking his head. "You're brooding. Ariana said it isn't good for you, that I should say something anytime you do it," he explained.

The former Scourge of Europe resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I'm not brooding. I was just...thinking hard. That's all," he muttered. Seeing Conner's incredulous look, he laughed. "Honestly! I wasn't brooding!"

"Sure you weren't," Conner teased as he crossed the courtyard that led to the Hyperion Hotel. As the sound of his fathers playful growling reached his ears, he laughed, rushing into their home.

Angel followed closely, a smile plastered on his face. "I wasn't!" he said, advancing towards his son.

Conner turned to face him, a playful gleam in his eyes. "Yes, you were," he replied in a singsong voice. For every step that Angel took towards him, he took a step back.

Suddenly, Angel pounced on him, knocking them both to the ground. He straddled his son, and began the only form of torture that came to mind. He began to tickle him.

The teenager began thrashing wildly beneath him, tears spilling down his face. "Stop!Please!" he gasped, trying in vain to escape.

"Take back what you said," Angel said, not pausing in his assault.

Conner shook his head, laughing uncontrollably. "Never!" he stated in false bravado. However, once it became apparent that the vampire did not intend to let him go, he finally succeeded. "Ok, I take it back! You weren't brooding! You were just thinking hard!" he managed to gasp out.

Angel stood, smiling victoriously. He grinned at the amused faces of his friends, who had all stopped what they were doing to witness the moment of bonding. "The victor once aga-" before he could finish his victory speech, Conner tackled him, sending them both sprawling on the floor of the lobby again.

The brown-eyed boy grinned down at him. Slowly, he brought his hands down to the vampire's sides, a wicked look in his eyes. "Take it back," he said quietly. "I won. Not you."

Angel shook his head, refusing to concede to his only son. "Never!" he mimicked, trying to twist from the boy's strong hold. However, he knew it was useless. If Conner got it into his head to keep him pinned down, that's exactly where he was going to stay.

Conner sighed. "Have it your way," he stated. Then, he began the same form of torture that had been used on him just moments before.

The former Scourge of Europe shook with laughter, unable to escape Conner's fingers as they dug into his sides. After a few seconds, he couldn't stand it anymore. At the risk of his pride, he relented. "You win! You win! Just, no more! I can't take it!"

Grinning broadly, Conner jumped up, immediately offering the still laughing vampire a hand. Angel took it, and stood, smiling. They locked eyes, each trying to portray the closeness they felt without words. Then, they were brought back to the here and now by the sound of someone clearing her throat.

Sheepishly, they turned to the remainder of the AI crew. Ariana, Fred, and Gunn all stood at the counter, each smiling.

"Sorry to interrupt. But, Angel, you received a letter," Ariana finally said, dreading what was to come next.

Ever since she had come to work for Angel, four years ago, it was the same thing. Every month, he would receive a letter with no return address. And, every month, he would lock himself in his office for hours, brooding over the contents of said letter.

Although no one knew for a fact what the envelope contained, or who sent it, Ariana knew it had something to do with his past. That knowledge was enough to make her not really want to know.

Angel paused, his carefree mood disappearing. He crossed the lobby, took the envelope from his Seer's hands, and headed for his office, shutting the door behind him.

Conner watched the change in his father with a small frown on his face. He hated seeing him so upset. Especially considering that he couldn't help him with whatever the problem was.

The boy looked at the others, who were suddenly busy going over files. Finally, his gaze landed on Ariana. She was watching the office, a sad look on her face.

"Someone needs to talk to him," Conner suddenly spoke, causing everyone to look at him. "It isn't right. He wasn't...he shouldn't blame himself. Someone needs to tell him."

Ariana sighed, walking to the boy that she had come to consider her own son. Although she and Angel weren't romantically involved, she still cared for both of them more that she thought was possible. Slowly, she placed her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at her.

"He knows no one blames him, Conner. However, he still blames himself. For everything. And, nothing that anyone says is going to make that any different." Seeing his frustrated look, she forced a small smile. "It''ll be alright. Give him a few hours. Then, he''ll be as good as new."

He nodded, looking past her at the closed door. "I just wished I knew what it was. What made him so upset," he said softly, gazing into her bright blue/gray eyes. "If I knew, maybe I could..."

She shook her head. "It wouldn't help, honey. There are some things that Angel just has to deal with on his own. This is one of them."

"Yeah, Ana's right," Gunn suddenly spoke up, smiling at the youth. "Besides. If it has something to do with his past, chances are we're all better off not knowing."

Fred nodded, also smiling. "Charles is right, Conner. So is Ariana. It will be okay, though. I promise."

Conner nodded, though he was still far from convinced. He took one last look at the office door, then turned, heading up the stairs. "I''ll be in my room if anyone needs me," he called over his shoulder.

The trio watched him go, none of them knowing what to say. Sighing, they all turned back to the job at hand.

"Just another day at Angel Investigations," Ariana muttered.

Meanwhile, in the solitude of his office, Angel stared at the envelope his Seer had given him, trepidation filling his heart. Taking an unneeded breath, the vampire opened it, pulling out the letter inside.

With trembling fingers, he unfolded the piece of paper, reading what was written.

8/21/02

As was mentioned in my last correspondence, I left for Atlanta, Georgia at the beginning of this month. However, once I arrived there, the apartment that I was told to visit had been vacated merely days earlier.

I left Atlanta immediately, returning once more to California to resume my search from scratch.

Once in San Francisco, I located an informant to told me that the subject had been spotted driving towards a town on the Southern part of the state (CA) named Sunnydale.


Angel sat up straighter as he read that part, a half smile forming on his face. Sunnydale! Finally, things were beginning to look up! With renewed faith he began reading once more.


I arrived in Sunnydale earlier this evening. However, the subject was no where to be seen. I went to an establishment called "The Bronze" to continue my search. It was there that I over heard a young man speaking to a red headed female about the subject. He said that he had spoken to her, even seen her, and she had left rather abruptly.

Unfortunately, the man had no idea as to her whereabouts. Therefore, once more, my search will begin anew. However, I now know that I am getting closer. With every town that she reaches, eventually I will find her. Cordelia Chase can only run for so long.

I will contact you next month with more information.

Sincerely,

Scratus


"No!" Angel yelled, crumpling the letter in his hand. He stood, grabbing a nearby book and throwing it against the wall. "Not again! She could not have possible eluded him again!" he cried, his human face melting away to reveal his true demonic face. With fury filled yellow eyes, he began pacing his office, trying to decide which course was the best way to go. He could call Sunnydale and talk to Buffy, taking a chance that she would mention Cordelia's reappearance. Or, he could actually go to Sunnydale and attempt to find her himself. Or, he could simply sit back and do nothing, and wait for the demonic private investigator that he had hired five years earlier to actually find her.

Sighing, the man slumped back into his chair, resigning himself to the last choice. People needed him here in LA. He couldn't just drop everything to go find a woman that obviously didn't want to be found. And, he knew that the chances of Buffy mentioning Cordelia to him were far fetched, to say the least.

Although the Slayer had never said anything, Angel knew that she suspected a connection between his re-cursing and the cheerleader's disappearance.

Angel smirked, looking very much like Angelus at that moment. If Buffy only knew how much of a connection there had been between his soulless counterpart and the beautiful brunette.

Against his better judgement, he closed his eyes, allowing his mind to pull up memories that he had long since buried. He could see her standing in the mansion, a smile on her face. He could smell her sweet scent, taste her unique flavor on his tongue. He remembered what she had felt like, writhing beneath him in ecstasy, her hazel eyes staring unseeing at the ceiling, her nails making welts down his back.

"Stop it!" he groaned, shifting in his seat. Suddenly, his pants were far too confining. "This isn't doing you any good." However, the visions refused to move. So, taking a deep breath to calm himself, he forced himself to think of far less pleasant memories.

The look on her face when she'd found out about Drusilla. The tears making silent tracks down her cheeks, the betrayal he'd seen in her eyes. Her whispered words of love, which he'd thrown back at her much as he had Buffy's mere months before.

He could still hear her breath catch in her throat as Angelus' words had sunk in.

"Well, lover, if you were any good, I wouldn't have had to look to some loony bitch for my pleasure”

Angel touched his cheek, his skin stinging with phantom pain. However, on that fated night years ago, it had been a very real pain. She'd slapped him, then hissed the words that would forever haunt him. "Go to hell, Angelus." Then, she had left. He hadn't seen her since.

He knew, from stories that he'd heard from Xander and Willow, that she had gone to the library later that night. Then, Drusilla had attacked them to retrieve Giles, and Cordelia had fled. Apparently, she was still fleeing.

Angel sighed, the pain in his pants gone, replaced by a much sharper pain in his heart. There weren't many things that the soul and demon within him agreed upon. However, when it came to Cordelia Chase, they both mourned the pain that they had put her through.

"Damn it!" he snarled, standing once more. "I can't just stand here and do nothing!" However, he knew that was exactly what he was going to do. For, the simple fact was, Cordelia wasn't going to be found until she was ready. He just hoped it was soon.

******

She still couldn't believe he was alive. Granted, he was re-souled and living somewhere in LA. But, he was alive.

Cordelia pulled her car into the parking lot of a hotel, glancing at Hope, who was sound asleep. She smiled, tenderly brushing some hair from the girl's face. "Soon," she whispered softly, so as not to wake the child. "Soon, you'll get to meet your daddy, and I will finally be able to put this all behind me."

With those whispered words, she exited the car, locked it to keep anyone or anything away from Hope, and headed into the lobby of the "Lost Angels Motel" to get a room for the night.

A few minutes later, holding her sleeping child in her arms, she opened the door to the room, taking a second to survey her surroundings. As far as she could tell, there weren't any vampires or other nasties nearby.

Sighing, she placed Hope one the bed, covered her, then headed to the bathroom to take a very long, very hot bath.

As steam filled the small area, Cordelia undressed, allowing her mind to wander back to Sunnydale, and the stunned Xander Harris she had left behind.

~ Xander blinked, his eyes growing wide as he finally recognized the woman standing before him. "C-Cordy?" he whispered, not wanting to believe his own eyes. "What...how...you cut your hair!" he finally managed to stammer out.

She smiled at him, rolling her eyes. "It's good to see you too, Xander," she teased, slowly placing Hope on the ground to stand beside her.

Xander opened his mouth, then closed it, not sure what to say. She was alive. Cordelia was alive, and standing before him, and...she had cut off all of her hair! Suddenly, tears filled the young man's eyes, and he enveloped her in a hug, burying his face in her shoulder.

"It's so good to see you," he said in muffled tones. "We didn't know what had happened, if you were alive..." then, he noticed the little girl standing beside his old girlfriend, watching him with big brown eyes.

He stepped back, looking from Cordelia to the girl and back again. "She called you mama, Cordy! Why did she call you mama?" he asked dumbly, his mind refusing to believe what common sense was telling him.

Cordelia laughed softly. "Because I'm her mother, Xander. Hope, honey, this is an old friend of mine. His name is Xander. Xander, this is my daughter, Hope."

Xander looked at the girl, unable to deny the obvious resemblance that she bore to her mother. However, there was something about her, in her eyes. Something that he couldn't quite put his finger on, yet was familiar, somehow. Shaking his head, he decided that he would figure it out later. Right now, he had so many questions.

Hope looked at the man who had saved her mother, but decided not to speak. Something told her that he wasn't really interested in meeting her.

Cordelia looked past him to the school, tears once again filling her eyes. "What happened here, Xander?" she asked softly, bracing herself for the answer.

"Huh?" he asked, then, following her gaze, he realized what she was referring to. Sunnydale High School. He laughed. "Oh, that! The mayor. He turned into a big snake during graduation. Buffy blew up the school to kill him," he explained quickly.

The woman blinked, looking at him. She couldn't have heard right, could she? "T-The mayor? Buffy?" seeing his nod, she very nearly laughed. "Oh, thank God! I thought Angelus..." she trailed off, hoping he was still enough like the Xander she had known to fall for the bait. Within seconds, she realized that he was.

Xander shook his head. "Deadboy? You thought Deadboy did this?" he laughed. "No, Buffy defeated Angelus the night that you..." he sighed, then tried a new tactic. Short and sweet. "Buffy sent him to Hell."

Cordelia felt her heart stop in her throat. She couldn't breathe. He''d been sent to Hell. God, no.

Seeing her face go white, Xander assumed that she was concerned for how it had affected Buffy. "It's ok now, though," he added quickly. "He came back. Not really sure how, but, he came back. And, he was Angel this time, not Angelus."

Cordelia exhaled, forcing a small smile on her face, even as her heart was breaking. Angelus was gone, forever. "So," she asked as casually as possible, "He's still around? Angel, I mean? Because, that has to be hard for Buffy..."

Xander sighed. "Nope. Deadboy left for LA right after the thing with the Mayor went down. Said that he couldn't be here, it was too hard, or something. Word is he's running a detective agency now," he smiled. "So, how about you tell me a bit about you...where you were, why you left," he looked at Hope, then back at her. "Stuff like that."

The former cheerleader shook her head, opening the car door and practically tossing Hope inside. "Sorry, Xander. But, I have to go. Maybe next time, ok?" then, she jumped in the car, started it, and, steering her car towards LA, never looked back. ~

Cordelia sighed as the hot water eased the tension from her muscles, her mind coming back to the present. She felt bad about leaving Xander like she had. After all, he obviously had been worried about her for so many years.

"When this is all over, I''ll go back and talk to him," she promised herself. "I owe him that much. But," she yawned, resting her head against the back of the bathtub and closing her eyes, "For right now, I have to get some sleep. Come morning, I''ll start looking for Angel."

With that thought running through her mind, she left the tub, toweled herself dry, then collapsed on the bed, instantly falling asleep, her arm wrapped tightly around Hope.

******