Slayer's Transition

Slayer's Transition


He was walking the streets again. He'd been doing a lot of that lately. The excuse he used with himself was that he was bored, distracted, in need of a change. The truth was, he wanted to follow her. The thought of her hunting alone, slayer or no slayer, frightened him senseless. That beautiful neck, marred by two bloody holes (or worse) an unacceptable idea. He had to be nearby to make sure that she was safe. After nearly losing her to "the Master," and "the Three," he was driven to follow her on her nightly haunts.


He sensed her, close by and moving fast. He slowed to get his bearings. This is what happens when you daydream, or night dream as the case may be. OK, he was almost even with the cemetery. The music from the Bronze floated lightly on the breeze. The song was familiaroh yes. He and Buffy had listened to this one while sitting quietly together at a table. Odd, how words were unnecessary with her. While other girls were chatting nervously all around , sh, she was content to sit with him companionably.


To his left, he heard sounds of fighting from beyond the gravestones. Angel, he said to himself, it's amazing you've survived this long, if a small blond girl can take up this much of your attention! He shot through the gate, and was at the scene of the conflict in a short moment.


Buffy was in the process of dispatching a rather large vampire. She gave it one last kick before ramming the ever-ready stake through its chest. As it exploded into dust, she mumbled, "Good riddance," and turned around just in time to see Angel skid to a stop. He had been so preoccupied, he had forgotten to hide from her. Stupid.


She stopped in her tracks and stared at him for a few moments. After a few swallows (nausea, he wondered?), she found her voice. "Angel." I really should say something, he thought, and proceeded to open his mouth. Unfortunately nothing audible came out, so he shut it again. "Angel? Is everything all right?" She sounded a little worried. Can't have that. "Hi Buffy. Everything's fine. I just heard the fighting and came to investigate."


She smiled. Who needs the sun when I've got this? sped through his mind. "Gotta go. See ya." As he walked (OK, ran) away from the slayer, he berated himself for his awkwardness around Buffy. After 240 years, a guy should have a little more maturity and control. He was acting like, like Xander for goodness sake! If only he could tell her how he felt, maybe he would have some peace, but the fact that she was the slayer (and he a vamp), and they could have no real relationship, kept him from it. Why say things that would only cause them both more emotional pains?


He loudly cursed the day he was born. A giggle was heard close behind him, and he whirled to find Buffy following him. Damn, was he deaf?! This daydreaming was getting dangerous. What if that had been a vamp? He closed his eyes and took hold of his thoughts. When his eyes opened, he couldn't help but grin at the puzzled look on her face. "Weren't you just laughing at me?" he asked. "Yeah. Did you know you talk to yourself? And what could you possibly say that would hurt me?" she said, with real interest. His eyebrows slowly rose far into his hairline. "Buffy, we said all that could be said, a long time ago. I don't see the point in going over this again." Her face fell. "Oh, well strangely enough I thought it might help to get a few things out in the open, and off our chests." She turned, and began walking back toward the Bronze. "I guess I was wrong." drifted back over her shoulder.
He'd hurt her without even trying! All right, her said to himself, maybe they should talk about a couple of things "Buffy!" she arrived in front of him in record time. "Yes?" came out slightly breathless. "Let's walk." He took her hand and led her down the sidewalk.


They walked in comfortable silence for a time. "I'm not exactly sure where to start?" He turned his head to look at her as he spoke. "Was there something in particular you wanted to say?"
Buffy glanced up at him for a moment, took a deep breath, and dove in. "I've been rethinking our last conversation, and I want to hear your reasons for us not being together."


That's my Buffy, right to the point. thought Angel, as he came to a sudden stop. Maybe he should do the same. "A vampire is an evil creature, Buffy. A demon that can't be trusted." His chest felt tight all of a sudden. To actually say these things to her, made them hurt even more. "No matter that I have a soul, for it doesn't change those facts."


She looked up at him and wished she could tell him, make him understand how she felt. Maybe she should try "Angel," she said in a small voice, "do you know that you are the only person on this earth who can relate to me?" Her gaze moved to rest on the ground. "Who else can I talk to about who I am? You're the first guy I've had the courage to approach on a deeper level, because I know that you won't be frightened off or overshadowed by my slayer powers." She smiled secretly to herself as she remembered the many times he'd warned her about something and then rushed off. In a flash of insight she realized he'd been running from their mutual attraction. She continued, "I've got to be honestI don't think of much else but you, Angel. Those may by my 16-year-old hormones, but I doubt it. I need you. I feel safe with you, when I don't anywhere else. Where is there a haven for the slayer?" She raised her eyes to meet his, and felt a momentary dizziness as she glimpsed the deep feelings he normally kept hidden.


The stood that way for a moment, then he took her hand and they began walking again.
When had this happened? When had he fallen in love with this girl? Was it when she flattened him in that alley, and then proceeded to tell him not to follow her? Or when she tossed her sunny curls at him while calling him "cryptic guy?" Or maybe while watching her so many times fight for her life with no complaints? He knew it was "all of the above." He loved every thing about her. She was made for him.


He was gently jerked to a stop. "What- " was cut off when he found himself kissing her. When she finally pulled away, they were both breathless (so to speak).


"I like this habit you've developed of talking to yourself." she said.


He wondered how much he had said aloud. Noticing the thoughts crossing his face, she smiled sweetly, and quietly said, "I'm in love with you, too."


Had she really said that?! For a moment, Angel thought he had dreamed the whole thing. Then he felt Buffy's arms go around his waist, and he knew it was real. "Are you gonna hug me back?" she asked in a little girl voice. He smiled involuntarily, as his own arms came up and wrapped around her small form. If he were any happier, his heart would burst, he thought. To have his slayer in his arms, and to hear her speak those wonderful words to him. Well, should he do what his heart urged him to do, or what his head told him was right?


Buffy watched him closely as he thought through the situation. She hoped he would come to the same conclusion she had. There had been so many sleepless nights. Always wishing she was with him. Where she could truly relax and be herself. Not forgetting her friends and her mentor, for she loved them, but simply realizing that there were some things they couldn't provide her. Only someone who had endured similar hardships and life-changing circumstances could truly know and understand her. And there was only one person like that. Angel. If he refused her, she would have no one to keep her from being engulfed by the darkness that was her gift.


"It's hard to think with you staring at me like that." He softened his words with a smile and a quick squeeze before he let her go. She said nothing, and he sensed that she waiting for him to answer her original question with a stillness that reached out to him. He felt as if her were about to decide her fate. What was really happening here? He thought back to the first time that he saw Buffy. He had met her in the alley to warn her of the impending Harvest, and she had astounded him with her lack of respect for her job. What had seemed to him then to be irrever had had in fact been her sub-conscious desire to deny her destiny. Buffy was not outwardly afraid, but her insides were rapidly becoming jelly. She had come to the of of her emotional strength.


Was that it? Did she need him in some physical way? He almost laughed as the thought of sex crossed his mind. Man, it had been a long time. Was that what she needed? He went over the old legendshis his mind. OK, he knew virginal strength was very powerful, but what happened to a slayer's strength? Could a simple thing like a lack of sexual maturity bring her down? Wait, he had read a passage once that referred to the giving of a woman's virginity being like a death. The death of her childhood. Did she have to cross that thresh-hold to be able to fulfill her destiny?


Buffy was afraid to move. Or breathe for that matter. He was taking a long time to come to his decision, which could only mean one thing. A slow smile crept over her face.


Fate had granted him his greatest wish. (Well, 2nd greatest wish.) Not only was it OK for him to love Buffy, but it was imperative. He couldn't believe his luck. He opened his eyes (when had he closed them?) to a smile so innocently seductive, it took his breath away. He slid his hands around her waist and lifted her up into his arms. She smelled sweet, and her heart was beating so fast that he knew she must be lightheaded. He could drown in those beautiful blue eyes Get a grip, Angel. Loss of control had never been a problem before he met her. (But then again, a lot of things were never a problem before Buffy came along.)


He found himself drawing her closer and pressing his lips against hers. After a heady moment, he pulled away and began carrying her down the street. If he was going to do this, it was going to be done right.


Where was he taking her? She was still reeling from that kiss. She'd heard of women "swooning" in the old days, but she'd had no idea it was real. Her version was like floating on a happy cloud, with little jolts of electricity hitting her in all the right places. She opened her eyes just enough to get a glimpse of his strong jaw, and that mouth I wonder if I'll feel those lips on other parts of my body tonight? She shivered in anticipation as the thought crossed her mind.


"Are you cold?" Angel asked.


"Nooo" she fairly purred. He'd never heard that tone from Buffy before. He wondered if she even knew what she was doing to him. If he didn't get her to his apartment soon, it would be all he could do to keep from finding the nearest secluded patch of soft grass, and laying her there! Not even in his youth, with hormones all ablaze, had he felt this way about a girl. Never before had he given much credence to the "true love" theory. Bur he had developed such a deep love of Buffy that it couldn't help but enhance his physical longing for her. His body was responding to her every breath. His steps quickened.


"Angel, why don't you let me walk? We'd get there faster." Buffy asked him while simultaneously hoping he wouldn't. He put his lips up against her ear, and said "I'd rather hold you next to me." He then nuzzled her neck, and chuckled deeper as he felt her shiver. "We'll be there soon, Buffy."
Her name sounded so much sweeter when Angel said it. She held him closer to make it easier for him to walk. Her thought was only to be patient.


Sooner than she expected, they arrived at the building where his basement apartment was. He gently let go of her legs, and she slid down the length of his body to the ground. She sucked a quick breath of air when she felt his arousal against her belly. She looked up and their eyes met in an intense gaze.


"You do want to be with me?" Her small voice was difficult to catch, but his sharp vamp hearing could discern her very heartbeat. He had no troubleersterstanding her. "Is that something you're still worried about?" Was his quiet reply. Buffy nodded slightly. He grasped hend tnd tightly and drew her down the steps to his door. As he took out his keys, he pulled her close into him in a one-armed embrace.


The door swung open to Angel's dim livingroom. He slid his hand up Buffy's back to grip her opposite shoulder, and gently moved into the apartment. After closing and relocking the portal, Angel turned to find Buffy in the same place he'd left her. He smiled to himself as he realized the "mighty slayer" was nervous. He decided to test the waters, and see if it was truly time for this transition. He touched her on the shoulder to get her attention. She jumped, and spun around so quickly that she lost her balance and fell backward.


Angel moved to catch her, and they both wound up on the floor. Buffy giggled, and that started Angel laughing. "Well, there goes my mature entry into the world of physical love. It never fails. I always find a way to make a fool of myself." Buffy spoke in a self-deprecating tone of voice. Angel reached over and pulled her onto his lap, where he began stroking her hair. When he saw that she wasn't going to look at him, he said, "Buffy, look at me and know that your honesty and innocence are more seductive to me than any experienced woman. It's you I'm attracted to. You fill the empty spaces in me. I can't believe my luck in getting close to you at all. God must pity me, to give me such a wonderful gift. He's allowed me to love, and to be loved, after all these years." As he finished speaking, he turned her face to him, and leaned over to give her a tender kiss. The kiss deepened, and rapidly became a passionate one.


Angel pulled back when he felt Buffy begin to go limp in his arms. She was close to passing out from the wild emotions she was feeling. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she mumbled out, "Wow!" "Exactly." Angel replied, as he lifted her off the floor. She found her balance, and managed to stand with Angel's help. "Is this normal?" she gasped out. "No. That's what I've been trying to make you understand. This is more than emotional or even physical love. You have a spiritual need that only I am able to provide." Angel explained. "As long as it's OK with you, and you're ready for it." Buffy had become very still as he spoke, and now answered his implied question in a very serious tone. "You have just answered questions I didn't know to ask. I've been feeling so alone, and bereft, without a real reason to. Every day I've felt emptier, more afraid. I've found myself thinking of you in all of those instances. You've just told me why. It makes perfect sense, and of course I'm ready." She turned and walked to the window, and looked up at the stars as she said, "I hope you don't mind me loving you, Angel."


He felt his heart break open and spill over. He felt tears threaten to well up, and suppressed them violently. Speaking from this deep emotion, he said, "Buffy, I was happy to provide for your need. To have your love as well is something that I never dared hope for. I give you my love in return." Her head snapped around, and a smile as big as her heart spread across her face. She came back to where he was standing and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back, and softly asked her, "You ready?" She radiated love, with a touch of uncertainty. "Don't worry, Buffy. If you trust me, it'll be perfect. I'd never hurt you." She smiled again, and nodded.


He disengaged her arms from his waist, and taking her hands, led her over to his bed. He gently pushed her down to a sitting position, and sat next to her. He cupped her head in his hand, and kissed her until she was gasping for air. Then he began undressing her. With each item of clothing he removed, he spoke to her of how beautiful she was, how brave, how strong, and of how proud of her he was, and how honored to be a part of her life. He punctuated each statement with a kiss on the part of her body he'd just bared. By the time he was finished, Buffy was vibrating with feelings she had never dreamed existed. Then Angel quickly removed his own clothing and laid down beside her. She had never seen anything so beautiful as Angel's body. She smoothed her hands across his chest and down her back, smiled as she heard his quiet gasps. He refused her attempts to bring him pleasure, and told her to lay still. "This is for your strengthening, not mine." He whispered close to her lips. "Lie back and enjoy, and don't worry about me." He grinned wickedly. "I'll have just as much fun as you." She didn't quite believe him, but agreed docily, and then pulled him closer for a long, passionate, soul-searching kiss. Using her slayer strength, she rolled Angel over on his back, and then raised up to look at his face. His eyes slowly opened, and she saw amazement, then amusement, and then an intimacy that she hadn't expected to ever be granted. He loved her. There was no question in her mind.


Her inhibitions fled. She got a wicked look on her face, reached down between them, and took hold of his erection. The sound he made turned her to jelly. She stroked him, listening to and loving, his moans, until he rolled her back under him and decided to give her some of her own medicine. He put his lips over one of her nipples and sucked gently. She dug her fingers into his hair and held onto the short strands. Were those fireworks? Was this her body feeling these things? He moved to the other breast for a moment, and then continued down her body to her throbbing center. His long, beautiful fingers stroked her, and opened her up to his warm tongue. Oh my god! She thought she would die, these sensations had such a grip on her. For a short while she lost herself, as her brain quit functioning. Coming to her senses again, she felt Angel crawl back up her body, and she spread open her legs instinctively to take him into her body. As he entered her, there was a great groan wrung from deep in his throat. He was very close to climaxing himself. He lowered his lips to hers once again, and their mouths opened to let their tongues twine together. He began to slowly move back and forth within her, and she was astounded that she could feel still more. They moved together, and as they reached the top together, she suddenly felt a great outpouring of energy from Angel's body, and soul. The transition had begun.


Buffy felt uplifted, encouraged, ecstatic! She hadn't felt like this since, since, since Angel had kissed her that very first time in her bedroom. She received this loving energy with all of her being. She sucked it in, she tasted it, she smelled it, and she reveled in it. She knew that she would not have received this from anyone but Angel. Couldn't have, because she and Angel were linked somehow. They were fitted perfectly in body, soul, and now spirit. She rode the wave of energy until it crested, and descended, and dropped her back into reality. She found herself breathing deeply, and feeling better rest than she could ever remember. It was so wonderful, she had to share it with Angel.
She turned to him and stopped, shocked. Angel was asleep (can you say coma?), and his coloring was pasty-white. She touched his face, and snatched her fingers back when she felt his icy skin. What was wrong with him? Was she sick? Then the realization hit her. The transition was pushed along by his own energy. When he gave himself to her, he gave his all.


Buffy felt the tears begin rolling down her cheeks. Was he gone? She choked. Maybe he wasn't. She touched him again, searching for the slightest bit of warmth. There. Was that slight movement? There it was again. Thank god, he's not dead. Well, what could she do for him? She didn't know how to give power back to him. Maybe if she got him something to eat? She ran to the refrigerator, and opened it to find 15 or 20 blood bags and bottles of blood. Ooooo. She grabbed a bottle, and a straw she found on the counter, and ran back to the bed.


Angel woke slowly. His head ached, and he felt weaker than he ever had in his long life, but it was worth it. Oh, was it! He felt something in his mouth, and suddenly tasted blood. He sucked it in without thinking, and slowly filled his belly. He grew stronger the more he drank, and finally opened his eyes. He couldn't possibly be in heave, but heaven couldn't be much better. He smiled around his straw at the sight of a naked, love-tousled Buffy, holding a bottle of blood for him to drink. His nostrils flared slightly as he drank in the smell of their lovemaking.


Buffy felt Angel's hand creep up her leg. She spoke, "As much as I welcome your touch, Angel, you are in no physical condition to do it again today. Mark my words, though. You will participate in that amazing thing again." She reached out and pulled the straw from his mouth and leaned over to give him a light, sweet kiss. "I love you, Angel." she whispered so softly he barely heard it.


"You rest while I clean up. Here's another bottle on the nightstand. Drink up!" She slid off the bed and crossed the room to the shower. He was glad she couldn't see him leering at her backside. He heard the shower turn on almost immediately, and wished he could join her. Oh well, there's always tomorrow. He grinned, and picked up his bottle.


THE END