She's Mine

Timeline: Post “Chosen”
Rating: NC-17 eventually. It might take a while though cause I’m writing this for school and school + smut isn’t so high on the to do list. I asked if I could and my teacher said he didnt have an issue with it but I gotta ask my principle. Which is retarded by the way. Maybe I’ll just do it and tell them to fuck off. You guys are my better audience.
Pairing: B/F
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me, they belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy
and all them
Feedback: You do it and I’ll love you. You don’t and you die. *smirks*

[ -- Chapter 1 -- ]

I swear its like 118 degrees on this damn bus. We just saved the world and now we gotta sweat or asses off? I wiped a piece of chocolate brown hair out of my face and looked out the windo. We were driving through this town that’s next to Sunnydale. What’s the name? Fuck if I remember. There’s no one here, guess when Sunny D emptied out they got freaked and ran too. Not that it would’ve make a difference if we lost, the First would’ve taken the rest of the world in a matter of days. But its over, we won, and now Sunnydale is a huge hole in the ground.

I cant say I’m sad to see it go; I have too many bad memories connected with that place. I was hesitant to come back, I knew everyone there still hated me. Not that I blame then, I did turn into a psychotic murderer and try to kill them all. I’m glad I realized how fucked up I’d gotten; otherwise I’d probably be dead right now. I think that’s what B wanted. Well, probably not dead, Ms. Holier-than-thou would never admit to wanting someone dead. But I don’t think she wanted me to come back.

I don’t care though, I got here as fast as I could when Angel said she needed me. I wanted to make it up to Buffy, I fucked up her life in so many different ways its ridiculous. Plus, there’s that overwhelming need to do good because hey, not lookin to see the world end right now.

But there’s more behind it than that, and I wished there wasn’t. I’ve... I’ve always had this little thing for B. She’s always got me, but I’ve tried to ignore it. Sure, I played with her, flirted here and there because I like it when she blushes, but it was nothing serious. I didn’t want it to be anything serious because I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I was the ‘get some, get gone’ girl, but that ended when I went to prison. Sure, I fucked a couple chicks at first, it was a woman’s prison and I had to get off somehow. In there was the first time I ever had sex with a woman and I liked it, I just felt so dirty after. Not because of the same sex deal, just me being such a little whore. I cant even begin to count how many people I’ve screwed, and half of them I didn’t even know their names. So I had a lot of time to think things over in there, and I just didn’t like my life style anymore.

Not that that stopped me.

I still had sex with Robin, on B’s bed. I think she was mad about that. He was the only one though, so I *am* getting better. I guess this whole thing made me accept what I fell for Buffy, even though I’ll never get it. I think sex with women is a lot more intimate, that’s why I didn’t have such an issue with doing Robin. I still felt dirty after, for using him, but not as much.

“Faith.... Faith.... FAITH!”

“Huh? What?” I got snapped out of my thoughts by Dawn who slipping into the seat next to me.

“You got a cigarette?” She asked quietly.

I raised an eyebrow, “Your sister know you smoke?”

“Yeah right, if Buffy knew her head would explode shed get so mad!” Dawn giggled.

I chuckled a little, “Yeah alright, just stay here so she thinks the smokes from me.” I fished out a pack of Marlboros from my pocket and handed her one before putting one between my painted lips and lighting ti up. I inhaled deeply before blowing it up and watching it go out the open window.

I handed the lighter to Dawn, “Since when have you been smoking?”

She lit her cigarette, “Since I found out I was the Key. I used to bum them from Spike all the time. Buffy never noticed, she’s slow like that.”

“Well ya better hope she damn wis cis cause we’re on the same bus as her.” I took another drag.

Dawn flicked some ashes on the floor then peered up at me, “So what’s the deal with you two?”

“Me and B?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Why?”

“I just wanted to know if you guys are friends now that you came back. She used to talk about you all the time you know.”

I raised an eyebrow, “She *did*?”

She nodded and inhaled mof hef her cigarette, “One day its ‘I miss Faith’ the next its ‘I hate Faith’... she can never make up her mine. I know why though.”

Before I could ask why I heard Buffy yell, “Dawn!” from across the bus. Uh oh.

“Quick! Take my cigarette!” Dawn whispered hastily as she shoved it in my hand.

Buffy stormed over to us, and sat on the seat opposite of us and glared, “What are you doing?”

Dawn looked at her like she was stupid, “Talking to Faith.”

“Why was there clouds of smoke coming from here then?”

“Because I’m having a damn cigarette. God B, chill out,” I said and continue smoking.

“One cigarette doesn’t make that much smoke,” Buffy countered.

“Wanna bet? How would you know anyway? Bet you’ve never touched a cigarette in your life,” I said. Little miss tightly wound would never do that.

“Actually I have, if you *must* know,” she said as she folded her arms over her chest.

“Yeah right.”

“I have!”

“Whatever.”

“Ugh! Faith! Dammit your not in this conversation!” And this is why we will never happen, I piss her off too damn much.

“Buffy I’m old enough to do what I want,” Dawn said.

“Not until your eighteen, so no smoking!”

“Your not mom, Buffy! Stop trying to be!” Dawn yelled.

Well she’s gone so someone has to be!” Buffy yelled back as tears sprung into her eyes. Alright, play times over.

“Okay, time out,” I interrupt. “Buffy, its her life, let her make her own mistakes. You do have some austerity over her, but there’s no way your gonna make her stop smoking, even if you tried. You wont be there twenty-four seven. So chill out.”

Buffy opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out, she didn’t have an argument for that. Thank fucking god. I didn’t want to spend the whole bus ride playing referee. I flicked both cigarettes out the window.

“Dawn can you go back with the others? I want to talk to Faith alone,” Buffy asked quietly.

Dawn abouabout to say something but I gave her a slight nudge and a nod, I might as well get this bitching over with. When Dawn left Buffy slid in beside me.

“You stuck up for her,” she said for me.

“Yeah,” was all I answered.

“Thanks.”

“Huh?” I though this was a bitch session.

“I’m glad your there for her, even though it was lying to me,” Buffy said honestly.

“Oh.” was all I could manage. That really surprised me.

“Yeah,” she said, and looked down awkwardly, playing with her hands.

I looked out the window, watching the scenery roll by. B’s never really thanked me for anything before, unless its staking a vamp that was about to kill her.

“Well um, I’m gonna get back...” Buffy said kind of self consciously.

“Sure B, whatever,” I say, not looking at her. I was feeling kind of weird, Buffy thanking me threw me off a bit, so I responded the only way I knew how: I put up my wall of indifference.

She got up and I looked over at her retreating for. I sighed. Its one thing to accept how I feel about her, its another to act on it. And I don’t think I ever will.

TBC.... well, if you want it to be that is.