Risk and Reward

TITLE: Risk and Reward

AUTHOR: Midknight

CHAPTER: 1 of ?

SHIP: Faith / Xander

RATING: NC17

CATEGORY: Romance, Angst, Erotica, Drama

SPOILERS: Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 3 & 7 Finale and Angel Season 5?6? general.

DISCLAIMER: None of these characters belong to me. They belong to Joss Wedon, Mutant Enemy, Warner Bros. and I bet a whole bunch of other corporations and I am only borrowing them, seeings as those who own them donÕt seem to want to use them anymore.

UNIVERSE: Slayer Academy - Everything that happened in BTVS Season 7 happened except Robin Wood never existed, ever. Anya still died and Sunnydale is a crater. All the survivors have gone to L.A. and Angel has given them The Hyperion. Buffy, Dawn, Giles, Andrew and some of the now fully powered potentials have gone to Europe to rebuild the Watchers Council. This leaves Faith, Xander, Willow, Kennedy and the rest of the now fully powered potentials. Willow with FredÕs help has used her mojo to create a magical website that only Slayers can access to answer any questions and to give them the surviving Scoobies location. So, The Hyperion is now a sort of school for Slayers where they can get training and knowledge about who and what they are. Gunn has sorted out all FaithÕs legal issues and she and Xander have been working construction together for the last 6 months or so. On the Angel front. It is in the early part of the Wolfram and Hart storyline, so I guess itÕs season 5 and it goes as such. Cordy came out of her coma and she and Angel are dating as are Gunn and Gwen, Knox doesnÕt exist, so, Fred and Wesley are now living together. Spike came back fully corporeal. it was him that couldnÕt save Nina from being bitten and he is the one helping her to deal with her werewolfism.

AUTHORS NOTE: This is my first real attempt at a fanfic. It started out small and got out of hand. I apologize before hand and hope you will forgive any errors or blatant discrepencies.

FEEDBACK: Yes Please - Deton8@mweb.co.za

Saturday, 20 March 2004, 9:08am, The Hyperion Hotel, FaithÕs Bedroom, L.A.

ItÕs Saturday and Faith has the whole day off. She had planned to sleep late, but itÕs only 9am and she is awake and already feeling restless. She throws the covers off, but doesnÕt get up. SheÕs wearing a white tank that leaves her midriff exposed and some white panties with little smiley faces on them. Lying on her back, she idly wonders what Xander is up to today and arches her back to stretch. Her nipples perk up as the tank rubs against them with her movement. She sighs her enjoyment of the sensation and brushes her thumb across her hardening flesh and her sigh becomes a low moan. The old Faith would have had no qualms about heading out to find someone to scratch her rapidly developing ÔitchÕ, but prison had definately taught her the meaning of restraint. ÒAnd, it is abit early in the morning for that kind of thing.Ó she thinks mischiveouslyÓ, but the ÔitchÕ was still there. Restraint was not the only thing she had learned in prison.

She continued to flick her nipples alternately through the thin material of the tank. Moving her shouders and arching her back alittle made the material slide deliciously over the hard nubs. Her other hand worked itÕs way down her taut stomach, her finger tips testing the firmness of the muscles as they edged to the waistband of her panties. She closed her eyes and the tip of her tongue peeked out to moisten her dry lips. An unbidden thought pops into her head and for a moment mingles with the pleasure she is giving herself. ÒWhat would it feel like if these were XanderÕs hands.Ó The thought stuns her into inactivity as she tries to examine it more closely. It would feel really good is her decision, but thoughts of Xander and sex bring little guilt feelings and her memories of their ÔencounterÕ run through her mind.

Her mind drifted back in time. It had been during one of those periodic apocalyptic Hellmouth openings. "My, how blasŽ we've become about those." the little voice, at the back of her mind, tossed in as the memories began. "How indeed." she threw back. Xander had just helped her escape from a fight with whatever demons had been attempting to open the Hellmouth, although she would never admit that it was a fight that she had been losing, and only his arrival in his uncle's car had saved the day. "Had it been gratitude? In her own twisted way, of course, but had it been?" she wondered. "Too late to look for motives now," she shrugged mentally. Down that road lay madness 'cause she would have to examine who she had been at the time and what, it would lead her to become. She really did not want to go back there again. She had, had enough of that in prison. With, that thought she made a mental note to thank Gunn again for straightening out her legal issues.

She'd been hurt, but her Slayer healing powers had already begun to kick in and she had been so wired and adrenalin riddled she had needed something to take the edge off, and there he was. Faith had never been a shy girl, she squashed the cynical laugh that would naturally have followed that understatement. He'd helped her into her dingey little motel room and she'd let him, even though her injuries had pretty much healed already, her muscles tight more from tension than the beating she had received. Her recollection of the complete sequence of events was not at all clear, but she remembered bringing up the being hungry and horny after slaying issue and then she'd made some quip about there being nothing to eat. She had seen the nervousness in his eyes and she had liked it. Then she'd stripped off the red tank top she had been wearing, reveailing a black bra as she stepped closer to him asking "You up for it?"

He stumbled back, but couldn't go far as the back of his legs came up against the bed. His eyes had bugged abit as he stammered "Yeah, just not with anyone else in the room before." She had reached out and simple squeezed the bulge at his crotch to confirm the up part of his statement, that and a quiet moan from him, in her mind at least, confirmed his acquiescence. With, a less than gentle, shove she'd pushed him onto the bed. Where he scooted further up 'til his back was up against the headboard. His bewilderment had increased when she had simply moved backwards and sat down on a chair facing the bed. He started to get off the bed, confusion evident on his face. She'd looked him straight in the eye and he'd frozen. She bent forward, her mass of dark curls tumbling forward exposing her creamy neck. She undid her boots, stood and kicked them off before stepping closer to the bed once again. She saw him swallow, his adam's apple bobbing as he tried to moisten his dry mouth. She had loved that expression of rapt fascination that replaced the confusion on his features as she'd slowly unbuttoned and unzipped her pants before shimmying out of the tight leather garment. She stood there, for a moment, in only black bra and panties, The blinking light from the hotel's neon signage shone through the rooms only window, muted by distance and dirty glass giving Faith's creamy skin first a blue tinge, then pink, then a startling white. He'd been mesmerised.

She'd meant to break the spell by simply saying "Well?", while puting one hand on her hip and tilting her head in question. She had not quite been as successful as she'd wanted, but his jaw had snapped back into place with a near audible click of teeth, as he looked at her with uncomprehension. As, a memory, she found it cute, then, she'd just found it irritating and with an exasperated sigh she'd climbed onto the bed. She was a Slayer and could be really quick when she wanted to. She'd straddled his hips pinning him in place before he realised her intentions. He began to protest. His hands coming up to try and fend her off or free himself, she hadn't cared which. She didn't think he had realised how strong a Slayer really was until she grabbed his hands and easily pinned them at his side, although she knew he was using all his strength to stop her. There was panic in his eye as he gasped her name, trying to do with words what he couldn't do with his muscles. She put a stop to that by the simple expediancy of crushing her lips to his. As, she did this, she also ground her crotch down onto the prominant bulge she was now straddling. His mouth opened as he moaned and she slipped her tongue passed his lips, over his teeth and fully into his mouth. His protests were over. His tongue snaked around and then over hers and into her mouth. She'd pulled back abit, but he'd followed her. Their tongues dueled for supremacy in the arena of their joined lips. Whether, she'd become distracted by the kiss or he energised by it, his hands broke free of her grip and one tangled itself in the dark hair at the base of her neck, pulling her deeper into the kiss , while the other traced mysterious patterns down her back. She'd begun to feel the sharp, cold metal ridges of his zipper as she continued to grind her self against him. The crotch of her panties were soaked. Her nipples were achingly erect and chafed against the material of her bra as she moved. "He was wearing too many clothes... She was wearing too many clothes." the thoughts had skipped through her mind. His hand had left her neck and had joined it's mate to cup and then squeeze her panty clad ass. Making a gutteral sound in the back of her throat, she'd braced her hands on his t-shirt covered chest and pushed herself away from him and onto her feet. Towering over him she growled "Get those fucking clothes off. Now!"

Her breathing was ragged, muscles clenched and unclenched and her hazel eyes blazed with lust. He was moving almost before the words had left her mouth. She stepped back off the bed to give him room, as his t-shirt came off over his head, she had greeted him with the sight of her beautiful, firm, pert breasts, dark brown nipples pointing skyward at attention, being released from the captivity of her bra. He'd redoubled his efforts at speed, trying to unbuckle, unbutton and unzip his jeans with suddenly sweat slicked hands as she pushed her panties down her thighs and then let them slip to the floor. He had begun to yank his pants and boxers down and only realised, once they were past his knees, that he was still wearing his boots and could not get them off. He began to lean further forward to untie them, but he never got that far. Her need had grown beyond the light measure of control she had been able to exert up until that point. She had literally flown at him, covering the distance between them in a blur. She pinned his hands to either side of his head as her weight on him drove him into the pillow at the head of the bed and the matress below them. How she remembered these things was beyond her. At, that moment, in that room, she had no conscious thoughts, but it seemed her mind had still recorded every nuance, every sensation and was now flooding her with them. He'd grunted as her weight hit him, then groaned as he felt her wet, molten hot sex slide from base to tip of his dick, flattening his erection against is abdomen. She'd groaned too at the pleasurable friction on her clit and just as she's felt the tip of his dick begin to rise as it cleared her crotch she'd pushed back, moaning, as the head moved up along and then through the outer folds of her sex. She'd thrown her had back in enjoyment of the sensation and as she brought her head forward her dark tresses fell forward half covering, half framing her face. She remembered, his eyes were so big. His face filled with wonder. She saw these details now, as an observer of her memories, she had not seen them then. All she'd wanted then had been her own release. 'Get it on and get gone.' had always been her motto.

He had tried to move to touch her, but she did not release her grip on his wrists. Instead, she'd pinned her lower lip behind her upper teeth and thrust backwards, hard. He'd grunted as his hips moved up against her in response. She released a pleasurable hiss of breath as he was seated fully inside her. She'd shifted her grip on his wrists and then twined her fingers with his as she began to grind her hips in slow circles. Her instincts were moving her body to reach the goal she required. Leaning forward, moving their intertwined hands up above his head and her hips moved back and forth giving herself jolts of pleasure each time her clit made contact with the base of his dick. She wanted the pleasure, she craved it. He had surprised her when heÕd strained up and captured her lips in a kiss, but she went with it. Eventually, pushing his tongue back into his mouth, she captured his lower lip with her teeth and pulled back. She would never know if the yelp that escaped him was from the pain of her stretching his lip or the hard thrust of her hips.

She sat back up rocking slightly with his sex buried to the hilt inside her and drew his hands up and to her breasts. She'd watched his eyes follow the path she guided his hands on and then close as she pressed then to her breasts. He'd cupped, squeezed and then kneeded her firm globes with his palms and fingers. At first, tenderly and tentatively, but soon, with her urging him on by pressing forward into his hands he was agressively mauling them. That was what she'd wanted and threw her head back in enjoyment. He'd held her breasts in the palms of his hands and flicked her hard nipples causing her to arch backwards pushing the hard tips into his circling, flicking thumbs. Unintelligable sounds had fallen from her lips as she continued to move on his sex. He'd filled her and it had been so long and it felt so good. Her muscles had gripped his sex and were reluctant to let him free as she moved up along his length. She'd given a groan of loss as his hands left her breasts, to run down her ribcage. It had tickled and she'd begun to bring her head up to chastise him, when his hands took a firm grip at her waist and he pulled himself up and her, towards him, all in one swift motion. It had been her chance to yelp in surprise, but it soon turned to a drawn out, breathy moan as his lips found her right breast and his tongue began to swirl around it's turgid peak. She'd wrapped her arms over his shoulders and around his neck. One hand held his head to her breast while the other kneeded the muscles on his shoulder. Her forehead rested against the top of his head as their bodies moved in unison. Thrust and counterthrust, their breathing becoming more rapid and laboured. He'd moved onto her left breast with one of his hands replacing his mouth on her saliva slick right breast, while the other held her at the base of her spine.

It had felt so good, but it hadn't been enough. She'd moved her hands between them onto his shoulder and had roughly pushed him back down onto the bed. He'd stretched her nipple holding onto it with his lips as he fell back causing an erotic mixture of pain and pleasure to shoot from her breast through her body. He'd tried to rise, but her hand on his chest held him in place as she began to buck wildly. She'd raised herself until only the head of his sex was inside her and then plunged down, hard, causing him to grunt. Once, twice, three times and then grind. Her own hand had gone to her breast and squeezed the firm globe of flesh before she began to pinch and flick her nipple. The hand on his chest was no longer restraining, but more as a means to steady herself and he had seemed to surrender to her will, making no further attempt to counteract it. She now remembered the feel of his course chest hair rubbing against the palm of her hand. Then, she'd felt nothing, cared about ing ing but the feel of his hard, velvety sex moving in and out of her body. She'd begun to feel her climax approaching. She'd wanted it and at the same time she'd wanted to prolong the torturous pleasure of riding him and then suddenly she had no choice. Her orgasm had ripped through her, her muscles locking and then rippling around his penis as she impaled herself on it one last time. She'd cried out, a sharp sound of completion and satisfaction, and had been only barely conscious that he had cried out along with her as his own release was triggered by hers. She'd felt total relaxation wash over her body and her head slumped to his chest. She'd been surprised to still feel his sex pulsing inside her as she move her legs from her kneeling position and stretched out on top of Xander. She remembered feeling his heart slow and the rise and fall of his chest return to normal against her cheek. Her own breathing had returned to normal and she'd risen slowly, deliberately, feeling his softening sex slip out of her and the trickle of their combined juices slowly inch it's way down along the inside of her thigh. She'd felt satisfied, but sweaty and decided she definately needed a shower. She'd knelt to pick up her underwear and clothes before heading towards the bathroom. Just before she'd entered the bathroom she'd turned placing one hand on the doorframe and had said "Gotta meet B at the library to help deal with the Hellmouth, so just lock-up when you leave. Will ya? Thanx." and with that she'd gone into the bathroom shutting the door behind her. He left before she got out of the bathroom.

She still hasnÕt apologised to him and she really should. She ahd realised that she had used him and on a very personal level. The time is never right, even with the huge amount they sto sto spend with each other of late. They have such a good time together. He treats her like a normal women and she can almost forget her past when sheÕs with him. She can laugh and joke with him without fear and she starts to have a sneeky suspision that their often ribald joking has been masking flirtation. Whether from him or herself she wasnÕt entirely sure. Her fingers restart their journey, slipping under the waistband of her panties as she continues to entertain the fantasy. Faith figures a girl should be entitled to afew guilty pleasures. Her fingers trail through the small patch of dark ey hey hair and she curls her fingers to scratch her nails on the skin beneath. She moans and pinches a nipple at the same time. She imagines itÕs XanderÕs teeth doing the pinching and a low moan escapes her lips before she pins her lower lip behind her upper teeth. She allows her fingers to slip further into her panties. Her palm presses firmly into her mount, mashing her clit deliciously as her fingers begin to carress and slide through her slickening folds. Her breathing becomes more rapid and uneven. SheÕs grinding her palm as she curls her middle finger and gently slips it into herself with a audible intake of breath. SheÕs squeezing and rubbing her breasts alternating between them and little sparks of pleasure are travelling from crotch to chest with more and more frequency. This feels so good to her and the mental image of Xander being the one doing this to her is really doing it for her. She moans as she thinks ÒHis hands would be bigger, rougher, and there would be his lips too.Ó Her hands and finger move more franticly as her stimulation and her fantasy drive her closer to a release. She has lost control of her breathing and it sounds harsh and irregular in her ears. Her back is arching alittle again and again as surges of pleasure tighten her muscles. She feels the muscles of her abdomen begin to shiver. Shefts fts her palm off her mound and presses directly on her clit, rotating the digit in small tight circle before slipping a second finger inside her now soaking, slippery wet cunt. She pumps them in and out, again and again. Her tempo increases without conscious thought. For, just a second, she thinks what it would feel like if her fingers were his cock. A sense memory of their prior encounter ends her speculation and delivers her to her release. ÒXander,Ó she whispers hoarsely. She sees a blinding white light behind her eyelids where her images of Xander had been. Her back arches off the bed in a single spasm and her inner muscles ripple along her fingers as they slip from her control and her body. She grabs her pillow, rolls onto her side and curles into a shivering fetal position around it, craving the feeling of something solid to cling to while her mind and body find their way back to this reality. Her mind is so calm now and she floats gently in a sea of sensation. Her body relaxing. ÒHad she just got off in a seriously major way by thinking about Xander? Had she whispered his name at the peek of her orgasm? Had she wanted him? Does she want him?Ó, the thoughts swim quitely and languidly through her mind. The conclusion she arrives at scares her alittle. She had and she does. ÒThis is so gonna complicate things. I need to forget this whole line of enquiry. HeÕs just my friend and I really need that more than anything to hold my new life together.Ó she thinks and clutches the pillow abit tighter before dosing off.

A knock on her door brings her back to wakefulness. Her mind is sleep-fuzzy and she peers around quizzically to gain her bearings. ÒFaith?Ó she hears XanderÕs voice questioning from the otherside of the door. ÒYeah!Ó, she calls back,ÓGive me a second.Ó She looks over at her bedside clock and grunts. ItÕs alittle after noon. ÒMust have tuckered myself out.Ó she thinks smiling at the memory of her earlier bout of self-gratification. The smile dampens alittle as she remembers her source material and the implications they hold, but sheÕs still smiling as she grabs and slips on a pair of sweatpants. ÒFaith? You decent?Ó Xander asks through the door. ÒYeah.Ó, she answers, before quipping ÒWell, most of the time.Ó He is grinning as he opens her door and leans against the door frame. He is dressed in workboots, jeans with a white t-shirt under an open red and black checked flannel shirt. ÒAt least youÕre trying.Ó he throws back and her smile becomes a grin to match his. ÒGot any plans?Ó he asks. She watches him and realises he is giving her the once over and she deliberately takes a deep breath to push out her full, firm breasts against the thin material of her tank. She is gratified by the way he shift uncomfortably. She wonders if he can see her nipples sticking out, but he brings out the whimsy in her and she answers ÒWell, eventually I want to get a motorbike and maybe an apartment of my own after I get my crane operators liscence and...Ó She keeps mentioning things and ticking them off on her fingers for another minute or so before he huffs and says ÒI meant for today, Faith.Ó ÒBe more specific next time, Xander, and no, no plans as such.Ó she says with a laugh and he shakes his head in resignation.ÓHeÕd have to get her for that one.Ó he thinks, ÒBut, who could blame him for being abit distracted.Ó

She is sitting on the edge of her bed with a soft beam of light from the gap in the curtains making her pale skin seem somehow luminous. Her dark hair is a tumbling, contrasting mass of cutely sleep-dishevelled curls and christ almighty she is not wearing a bra. He can see the slight peek of her nipples, especially when she inhales. He drops his gaze hurriedly at the twitch in his crotch and is surprised to see her toenails are painted. He never would have expected it of her. ÒI wonder what they would taste like.Ó he thinks. The thought sets off alarm bells and he can almost feel the hairs on the back of his neck begin to rise. ÒHad he just thought of tasting FaithÕs toes, which he assumes would involve sucking and possibly nibbling?Ó he asks himself,ÓStop the bus and call the conductor. Where did that come from and why doesnÕt it sound like an all together bad idea? She was begining to wonder if his question had a point as heÕs now just standing their. ÒXander?Ó she asks. ÒHer lips moved, she must be talking. Pay attention.Ó he tells himself and answers ÒYes.Ó ÒSpace out much?Ó she asks tilting her head to the side. Deciding to ignore the question he gets on with the reason he had come to her in the first place. ÒWanna join me for lunch? he asks letting his gaze travel around her bedroom, believing it safer than looking at her. ÒSure. Give me twenty minutes and IÕll meet you in the lobby. OK?Ó she replies and begins to get up. ÒGreat.Ó he says, and shrugs himself off the door frame. ÒSee you in twenty.Ó he throws back over his shoulder as he closes the door.

Faith stripped out of her clothes and showered quickly. The hot water felt good on her skin and she would gladly have lingered, but she did not wanted to keep Xander waiting. She briskly toweling herself dry while wondering what to wear. He was dressed pretty casual, so she settled for boots, a pair of black jeans, a cream tank top that leaves her midriff bare under a flannel shirt of her own, Hers is pink and grey. SheÕd brushed a finger along the faint line of the scar Buffy had left on her toned belly. It was a permanent reminder of her bad old days. She sometimes wondered if slayer healing powers had a sense of irony. She looked at herself in the mirror as she brushed out her hair. ÒMaybe some make-up.Ó she thinks. ÒWhat is she doing? This is Xander. Why was she worrying so much about her appearance. It was just lunch with Xander. WasnÕt it?Ó her thoughts swirlled chaoticly as she tries to figure out her feelings and actions, but she does apply some lipstick anyway.

SheÕs five minutes late getting down to the lobby. Xander is there leaning over the counter talking to Willow and Kennedy. The computer is there, so itÕs kind of become WillowÕs domain and where the witch was the diminutive slayer would not be far behind. She greets them and stands awkwardly next to Xander. She notices Kennedy give her the once over, but cannot decipher the other slayers expression or the glance she exchanges with the red haired witch. ÒI must be paranoid,Ó she thinks, but feels a strange sense of relief as they say their goodbyes and Xander guides her towards the doors with a hand gently placed at the small of her back. She likes the way he does that. Neither of them see the witch and Slayer exchange an openly amused look as they disappear through the front door of The Hyperion.

She doesnÕt know what she had expected, but he takes her to a diner, afew blocks from the hotel. TheyÕve been sharing alot of meals of late, but this is the first time he has taken her anywhere. The waitress greets him by name, he appears to be a regular as he greets the counter staff with a wave as well before introducing Faith. The waitressÕs name is Kate and it amuses Faith that there is just a hint of disappointment in the other womensÕ eyemusemuses and satisfies her. ÒJealous much, Faith?Ó she asks herself in the quiet of her mind. This Kate has had eye eye on Xander and the appearance of Faith did not fit into whatever plan sheÕd been hatching. She brought them menus once they slid into one of the booths by the window. He ordered a coke and looked expectantly at Faith. She scanned the beverage menu quickly and her face lit up as she saw what she wanted. ÒCan I get a double thick chocolate malt? Please.Ó she asked with enthusiasm and a broad smile. ÒSure hon.Ó the waitress replied. Saying sheÕd be back in a minute to see if they were ready to order, she left to get their drinks.

Xander looked at her with open amazement. ÒExcited much?Ó he asked. Faith was actually beaming. She couldnÕt get the grin off her face and Xander thought she actually looked dreamy as she looked over the menu to see what it was she wanted to eat. What Xander had said finally registered and she lowered the menu and looked up at him. His lips twitched in amusement, but his eyes held a question. She sighed theatrically and said Ò LetÕs just say itÕs been awhile. What with the coma and the chaos of waking.Ó He saw her face darken momentarily and felt a little twinge of guilt at having marred her happiness. ÒPrison, stopping Angelus, get Angel back and letÕs not forget Kaleb and The First and the Ubervamps and the destruction of the Hellmouth, work, slaying, not being brought here or told about this place,Ó she got in a quick jibe, Òa girl has just had absolutely no time to indulge one of her favorite, well, indulgences.Ó she finished. ÒI have not had a real one in a glass with all the toppings and trimmings in what feels like a lifetime and they both kind of realise how true her statement is, that would be considered a different life. He looked at her, smiled and said ÒThen, indulge away.Ó ÒThanks for the permission.Óshe said in a mock snippy tone, which to her surprise he seemed to take seriously as he begins to apologise. Then, she was apologising and trying to explain all at the same time. He had seemed so ernest, she had not suspected any kind of subterfuge, until she finally noticed he was having a hard time keeping a straight face. She stopped and finally she said ÒYou bastard.Ó and threw a nearby napkin at him. It was, of course, at that exact moment that the waitress returned with their drinks and to take their order. ÒGotchaÓ he says with satifaction. Faith could feel the heat on her cheeks as she ordered a burger and fries, while Xander ordered a steak (apparently his usual.) and the grin on his face wasnÕt helping either. Faith began to sulk and even the prospect of the double thick malted had started to loose itÕs appeal. ÒShe didnÕt sulk. She didnÕt blush. What was wrong with her? Xander was just playing. Why was she over-reacting this way? I really thought I had thicker skin than this and why is he able to get under it so easily? and why is it bothering me so muchÓ she thought, as she toyed with her straw in silence. Xander sensed her mood change and his grin faded. He reached for her hand. Faith was not a touchy-feely kinda gal, but his touch brought her eyes up from the table and she kind of liked the warmth of his touch. ÒWhat the...?Ó she thought of her own reaction. He simply said ÓTruce.Ó and she saw the sincerity in his eyes. He was stroking the back of her hand and she liked it. She gave herself alittle mental rebuke, but she did not move her hand. ÒPlus I, unfortunately, know both my parents, so technically, I am not a bastard. Can we settle on me just being abit of a tool? For the sake of accuracy and all.Ó he continued. She wanted to be angry at him. She hated being manipulated, but he was doing a pretty good impression of a puppy dog with the big browns and the patch doesnÕt ruin the effect too badly. ÒHeÕs cute.Ó she thinks, but asks ÒAbit?Ó The grin on her face makes the question rhetorical and it surprises Xander that he likes the way the light seems to come back into her eyes and expression. His transgression is forgiven as she turns her attention to her double malted with what he can only describe as childish delight. He sips his coke as he watches the Slayer slurp at the drink with gusto. She is completely focused and Xander, keeping one eye on her, signals the waitress that she should bring another malted with their meals. She almost catches him, but he distracts her by asking ÒGood?Ó while nodding at her rapidly emptying glass. She nods and the smile she flashes him around the straw in her mouth is absolutely dazzling. He begins to wonder about his own reactions. ÒThis was Faith after all. She had tried to kill him at one point, but she had changed, he had changed. But, come on, Faith.Ó he thought to himself, although his eyes never left her.

Her thoughts were a near mirror of his, but she could feel his eyes on her and it didnÕt feel wrong. Her thoughts were chasing each other around in circles and she realised she wasnÕt really gonna get anywhere here and that she really didnÕt need to right then, so she just emersed herself in the long-missed and fondly remembered taste of the chocolate drink. She suddenly remembered Buffy saying ÒChocolate, goooood.Ó in her fake cave Buffy voice, and she whole heartedly agrees. She chuckled at the thought and at the sucking sound she made as she finished the drink. She actually smacked her lips in satisfaction as she pushed the empty glass away. The waitress appeared with their food and Faith was soon eyeing the huge burger with undisguised predatory hunger. The delicious smell had her mouth watering and she expertly gathered the burger in both hands and took a big bite. she looked quizzically over the burger at Xander as the waitress returned with another malted. ÒSince you seem to have some catching up to do in the indulgence department, I thought IÕd help.Ó he said matter-of-factly. He thought the child-like grin/smile she flashed him, just over her burger, was quite cute, but cute turned to sexy as the tip of her tongue peeked out to snag some sauce off the corner of her mouth. Xander suddenly began to focus all his attention on his steak and looks everywhere, but at her.

She notices, but canÕt understand what has changed and it doesnÕt seem too serious so she continues to enjoy her burger with a few fries between bites. The meal continues in silence, but itÕs not strained, just normal as they both get more involved in their food than their thoughts. Faith feels like she is making a pig of herself as she devours the burger, fries and the malted, but she couldnÕt care less. She was definately gonna eat here more often. She manages to stifle a belch as she pops the last fry into her mouth after having wiped the last bit of ketchup off her plate with it. She looks across the table at Xander. He must have finished before her, because heÕs looking at her with his arms folded and this smug look on his face and his plate is gone. She hadnÕt even noticed the waitress clearing it.ÓWhat?Ó she says, but his only reply is that smug smile. ÒWhat? she says again, her voice going up an octave, her expression now agitated. He sits forward, suddenly uncomfortable with the distress he is causing.ÓEasy Faith. Relax. The waitress just asked if you could leave the pattern on the plate and that I really should feed you more often. She thinks youÕre skinny.Ó he says. ÒWhy am I acting like a little girl?Ó she asks herself. She knew he would just be playing with her. It was typical Xander, but she had actually felt scared sheÕd done something wrong and had begun to panic. She thought she was over all that. She relaxes and smiles at him. ÒAfter my diet of Hot Pockets, microwave Baritoes, McDonaldÕs and whatever is left in the fridge, this was like a Harry Potter style feast.Ó she says and actually licks the tips her fingetips in emphasis. He laughs. ItÕs rich and full and she likes the sound of it. She fleetingly wonders if this is what infatuation feels like.

ItÕs just past three when they exit the diner. HeÕd payed the check and Faith had felt alittle guilty at not even having even thought of bringing any money. She says sheÕll get the next one. He shrugs off her offer and says he was the one that invited her. Faith thinks ÒSo this is what a date is like... Date? What makes her think that... Hmmm.Ó They only take afew steps before he offers her his arm with this exquisitely goofy smile on his face saying, ÒA lady should not seem as unaccompanied when out on the street.Ó, in a nasal, snooty English accent, sounding just alittle like Giles. She looks around with an overdramatic questioning expression on her face and asks ÒLady? What? Where?Ó They both laugh and she takes the proffered arm and they continue on with the arms lightly linked at the elbow. They take their time and Xander stops to window shop at some of the stores they pass. Faith is pretty much just along for the ride as he point out this or that and they talk about their work and what movies they want to go see. He sneeks glances at her and is still amazed by how carefree she can be compared to the Faith he had known in Sunnydale. They pass one of those small fashion boutiques and he sees her pause, with real interest, for the first time. He is furthest away from the window and has to turn to look as she stops. ItÕs a full length, silky, red evening gown with spagetti straps, cut to accentuate the curves of a women in all the right ways. A celtic pattern of some sort was worked into the material and ran in a band of varying width from the centre of the neckline, down and left towards the waist. He guessed it would mould to the bottom of itÕs wearers left breast and he also guessed that it went all the way round as it reappeared at the right hip and wound itÕs way round to the bottom. He has a fleeting vision of what Faith would look like in thet dress and the term breathtaking comes to mind. She sighs and begins to move on, tugging at him to follow. He had almost found himself wanting to tell her to go in and try it on, but simply follows instead.

Saturday, 27 March 2004, 2:00am, A park in L.A.

ÒShe was starting to like slaying here in LA.Ó she thought. Faith ducked under the demons clumsy roundhouse and planted a kick squarely on itÕs shin. ÒFor one thing there were parks like these, so she didnÕt have to always patrol dreary old cemetries.Ó She blocked the demons next blow, held itÕs arm and pounded itÕs ribs wih quick jabs. ÒThere was always someplace good open for take-out no matter what the time and she liked living at the Hyperion with WIllow, Kennedy, Xander and which ever fledgling Slayer was in residence. The place was big, so she had her space when she needed it, but she could also hang out with the gang which she found herself doing more and more often. She even has a job that she enjoys and is good at and it doesnÕt even involve a single demon or vampire.Ó The demon shoved her hard and she fell, but she regained her feet quickly with a backflip and decided to get her mind back on the job, plus she had had enough of this demon, whatever kind it was. She had been tracking it for awhile and it wouldnÕt stand and fight.They had been having running skirmishes all across the park, but it seems she had irritated it enough to finally stand and deal with her. It rushed her snarling viciously. She waited calmly and at the last moment sidestepped, spun and gave a thrust kick into the demonÕs back. Over balanced, it tumbled to the ground and Faith was on it in a flash. As, it tried to rise Faith wrapped her arms around itÕs neck, the palm of one hand against itÕs cheek. She planted her knee into itÕs back, pulled back and twisted at the same time. She heard itÕs neck snap, felt itÕs body go limp and itÕs snarling end in a wet gurgle, but held and twisted for another moment or two just to make sure. Faith relaxed her grip thinking ÒWhat should I get for din...Ó She never finished the thought as light and force suddenly expanded from the dead demon and all thought was replaced by first pain and then darkness.

Monday, 29 March 2004, 1:00am, The Hyperion Hotel, L.A.

The pain was back and she assumed the darkness would lift as soon as she mustered the energy to lift her eyelids, which would be in an eternity or so. A groan escaped her lips as she shifted ever so slightly. ÒMoving not a good idea.Ó she thought. She heard the sound of a chair scrape and footsteps. She felt like sheÕd been hit by a bus, but her slayer senses allowed her to collect information about her surrounding. She was in a bed, not hers, too big. the linens, drawn up to her chin smelled familiar, but she couldnÕt place it. The footsteps were closer now and with supreme effort she tried to open her eyes. She only managed to flutter them open to a slit. She was greeted by a blurry image of Xander, concern etched on his face. ÒWhat?Ó she croaked, swallowing to moisten her dry throat. The movement of swallowing forced her to shut her eyes and unconsciousness threatened toe hee her again. ÒEasy Faith.Ó she heard Xander say. She heard him fumble with something and then felt something pushing against and then between her lips. Cold water flooded into her mouth and down her throat. It felt like heaven. He withdrew the glass as with a murmur she slid back into sleep.

ItÕs the first memory she has and itÕs followed with flashes of XanderÕs face or WillowÕs and the murmur of voices as she slips in and out of consciousness. The pain lessens, gradually, until it is just an overall stiffness. She wakes, truly wakes for the first time. SheÕs lying on her side. She snuggles into the warmth she is resting against, moving closer to it. It smells good, but it is moving ever so slightly. She opens her eyes. SheÕs curled up against XanderÕs side, an arm draped over his waste, her under the covers, him above and her head resting on his chest. The slight movement is his breathing, which changes as she moves her cheek to look up at his face. She looks directly into his eye and sees the relief there. ÒI must have been in real bad shape.Ó she thinks as he says ÒHi. Welcome back.Ó and pats her hand resting on his stomach. ÒI should move.Ó she think, ÒLet him get up,Ó , but she only shifts her head slightly to look at where he is now holding her hand. The steady thump of his heart under her ear is soothing and he doesnÕt seem inclined to move, so neither does she. ÒHow long?Ó she asks softly. ÒTwo, two and a half days.Ó he replies. HeÕs just woken up, but she can hear the weariness in his voice. ÒYou had us really worried there for abit. You really shouldnÕt do that you know.Ó he continued. She starts to rise suddenly, but sinks down into the pillows again with a groan. ÒWhat about work?Ó Faith asks in a panic. ÒI called in sick for the both of us on Sunday evening. We have Ôtil Wednesday and there might be some rumours about us when we get back, but I think weÕll be OK. Ò he replies. ÒRumours?Ó she questions. He looks abit sheepish and says Ò Jerry kinda made some remarks when I called and I just let him think what he wanted. It seemed easier than trying to make up a lie so...Ó She nods and sighs ÒAlec was gonna show me how to arch weld. I hope heÕll still have time when I get back. He is supposed to be moving to another site.Ó ÒIÕm sure one of the other guys will show you how. Those steelwork boys really dig you. I think itÕs that whole Jennifer Biel fantasy thing from Flashdance or something and what with you being a hotty and all. She grins up at him. ÒGuys do so not say hotty, but thanx.Ó she says quietly. The arm that had been behind his head has settled around her shoulder and he gives her alittle squeeze. ÒWhat happened Faith?Ó,he asks,ÓI found you lying at the base of a half uprooted palm tree, with your clothes in tatters and barely breathing. It looked like you had gone through a parkch ach and another tree before getting there.Ó ÒI...I had just slayed some demon when it... You found me?Ó she asks. ÒYou usually get in by 2:30am and by 3:00am I got worried so I went looking and I remembered that you liked the parks better than the cemetries so... I took a chance.Ó he says. She feels him shrug. ÒWell, like I was saying. I slayed this demon I was tracking and then.. I guess it exploded. I was standing right over it. I was still thinking about what I wanted for dinner, then WHAM. Lotsa light, noise and pain, then darkness. Then alot of bits and pieces featuring you and I think Willow and here we are.Óshe said trying to get a handle on her situation which was getting harder as her body told her she needed more sleep and she was really comfortable. She remembers him saying her clothes were tattered and peaks under the covers. SheÕs wearing, what must be one of XanderÕs t-shirts by itÕs size, and a pair of panties. He notices her looking and says ÒWillow. She bathed, changed and magicked you. SheÕs feeling drowsier now and muses ÒWhat makes Xander smell so good.Ó she thought, well she thought, sheÕd thought. ÒMust be the combination of soap and Slayer drool.Ó he said smiling above her head. ÒHuh? Oh.Ó she said. ÒCrap. I said that outloud.Ó she thinks. Her embarressment is cut short by a rumble of her stomach and her bodyÕs need for sleep was over ridden by a stronger feeling, Hunger.

ÒI think thatÕs my cue to go get you some food.Ó Xander says and begins to untangle himself from her. Faith almost tries to hold on to him, but her hunger, her embarrassment and the lethargy she feels work together to allow him to slip out of her grasp. He pads toward the door on bare feet and she tries to get up and even manages to get her feet on the floor before the dissiness hits. She canÕt comprehend how, but suddenly Xander is there and she is being tucked back into the bed. ÒNow, thereÕll be none of that young lady. I carried you for twelve blocks and my back still hasnÕt recovered, so do me a favour and stay in the bed.Ó He says fussing over the cover. He is trying to keep things lite, but it doesnÕt mask the worry she can hear in his voice. ÒTwelve blocks?Ó she asks. ÒYeah, and no more McDonaldÕs for you missy.Ó he replies. She manages a weak chuckle and the wan smile she gives him is more for the relief on his face than the joke his made. She closes her eyes for a second and she feels him hover before he turns to go get the food. She dozes, floating. The door opening doesnÕt wake her, but the aroma of food does. Willow approaches the bed with a large bowl of steaming soup on a tray and she can sollsolls on the side. Faith can feel her mouth begin to water and starts to move herself into a sitting position. She is surprised when Xander almost knocks Willow out of the way to help her. She is even more surprised by the patient, amused look Willow casts at XanderÕs back as he fusses and fluffs the pillow behind FaithÕs head. His cool hand, supporting her head, on the back of her neck, feels good while he does this and she sighs as he settles her back on the pillow. ÒFuss much?Ó Willow asks Xander and he gives her a goofy, guilty grin and ducks his head. ÒHold this.Ó she says, handing him the tray. How are you doing Faith?Ó she asks leaning over and puting her hand on FaithÕs brow. She concentrates for a second and Faith can feel alittle tingle. ÒBetter?Ó Willow asks. ÒMuch.Ó Faith says as she feels her muscles relax some more and some of the lethargy lift from her mind. Her attention though was focused firmly on the tray. Willow, sensing her thoughts, says ÓEat and get some more rest. WeÕll talk later, once mother hen here is satisfied. KennedyÕs out patrolling so, she will see you later too. Now I better let Xander feed you before he busts something.Ó She looks past Willow in time to see Xander stick his tongue out at the witch and giggles. ÒPut your tongue back in your mouth Alexander HarrisÓ Willow says without turning and only Faith can see her smile. She pats FaithÕs hand and turns to leave, as she passes Xander she says ÒYou better get some rest too.Ó She gives Faith alittle wave at the door and closes it softly as she leaves.

ÒWhat was that all about?Ó she asks Xander as he settles the tray over her lap. ItÕs one of those service trays with the legs she notices idly as she waits for him to answer. ÒNothing.Ó he answers shortly and starts tucking a napkin into the top of her t-shirt. ÒXander?Ó she asks again. The question is a re- iteration of her first and a query about his current actions. Him picking up the spoon next to the soup answers the latter. He intends to feed her. She should put a stop to that, but the soup smells so good and she is sure if she tells him she can feed herself, there would be an argument and a delay in her getting the soup. Also she still wants answers so she acquiesses. The first spoonful of soup he ladles into her mouth gives her a new definition of heaven and it only gets better from there. Between spoonfuls of soup he butters and feeds her small peices of roll. ÒA girl could get to like this.Ó Faith thinks. The bowl of soup is empty too soon for her liking and the rolls are gone too. She almost whines a complaint to Xander about it, bunagenages to catch herself. He seems to sense her thoughts somehow and says ÒMore later. Willow says youÕll make yourself sick if you try more or something harder. IÕm gonna go now. Let you get your rest.Ó He takes the napkin away and the back of his hand brushes the tip of her breast and mumbles an apology. She is about to fire some quip at him about any excuse to cop a feel, when she notices that he has hardly noticed what heÕs done and had apologised mostly by reflex. She also notices how slow and deliberate his movements are. She realises that he is exhausted. He takes the tray and gets up off the bed. ÒWhereÕr you going?Ó, she asks, ÒWillow said you need to get some rest too and if I am not mistaken this must be your bed.Ó she continued. ÒGonna sack out on the sofa, just shout if you need anything.Ó he says. She remembers how comfortable it was to lie in his arms and that his sofa really was not big enough for him to lie comfortably and a plan quickly forms. ÒThe body might be weak but the spirit is still devious.Ó she thinks with a mental giggle. ÒNonsense. IÕll just toddle off to my own room.Ó she says as she makes to get out from under the covers. He almost spills all the dishes in his hurry to put down the tray and hurries over to her to place a restraining hand on her shoulder. SheÕd had no real intension of getting out of the bed, but still pushes against his hand while saying ÒCanÕt have my knight in shining armour sleeping on a couch, so IÕll just be on my way.Ó She realises how weak she really is by the easy with which he holds her in place.ÓNot gonna happen Faith.Ó he says in a irritatingly matter-of-fact voice and with hardly any effort pushed her back down onto the pillows. ÒIÕll just wait Ôtil you go and get up anyway.Ó she says, the obstinance in her voice is only partially part of her plan, the other part a reaction to his controlling manner. He sighs in exasperation. She puts the most innocent look she can muster and says,Ó Why donÕt you just nap here with me Xan?Ó, she asks, ÒIÕll even let you brag that you slept with me.Ó she continues and regrets the statement immediately remembering that it was something he had not bragged about and she resolutely again promises to apologise for Ôthe incidentÕ as she has come to call it. He stands stunned for a second and doesnÕt move. ÒPlease?Ó she asks quitetly. ÒWhy not.Ó he says and moves around to the other side of the bed and begins to strip off his cargo pants, but stops. ÒIÕve seen you in boxers before Xan.Ó she says. He shrugs and strips the pants all the way off and throw it on a nearby chair. He sighs as he settles on the bed, on top of the covers. She almost rolls her eyes. ÒGet under the covers Xan. I promise, I wonÕt try to jump you. Promise. ScoutÕs honour.Ó she says with only a little twinge of guilt for the memories she might be resurrecting. He looks at her and sees that there is no way to argue with her and slides under the covers. ÒYou were never a scout, Faith.Ó he tells her. He is alittle nervous to be this close to her, but heÕs too tired to fight and the warmth from her is very nice. His body ignores his mind and starts to relax. Without the distraction of trying to trick Xander along with the satisfaction of a sated apetite, the drowsiness returns and she feels her eyes growing heavy. XanderÕs breathing is soon even with sleep and Faith, warm, well fed and comfortable soon slips into restful slumber as well.

Tuesday, 29 March 2004, 4:48pm, The Hyperion Hotel, L.A.

Twelve hours later Xander swims slowly towards wakefulness. He hadnÕt slept more than four or five hours over the last few days and feels rested for the first time in he canÕt remember how long. He becomes aware of FaithÕs soft breath against the back of his neck. Her body pressed lightly against the length of his back. He can feel her breasts pressing into his back just below his shoulder blades and has to shift to ease the involuntary reaction of his body to the feminine presence. She murmurs something and the hand that had been resting on his hip curls round onto his abdomen and she hugs him closer to her. Xander is suddenly wide awake. Her hand is only inches from his hardening dick. ÒOK Xander. DonÕt panic. Think baseball.Ó he thinks and starts recalling every baseball statistic he can think of and he feels ÔLittle XanderÕ begin to relax. Faith is oblivious to all this. Her dreams are unspecific, just feelings of comfort and belonging and she foils XanderÕs plan for control by snuggling closer against his broad back. Her body moulds to his. Her breasts push more firmly into him and he can now feel the points of her nipples through the thin layers of cotton seperating their skin. He has to stifle a groan as his body reacts with new vigor. Baseball no longer works so Xander brings out the big guns conjuring up images of Spike and Buffy, but the heat and the tactile feel of FaithÕs body against his, wipes them from his mind. Other memories from further in the past intrude. FaithÕs motel room in Sunnydale. Faith nude at the foot of the bed her skin painted different colours by a neon sign outside the window. He shouldnÕt be dwelling here, specially not now. His erection is now less than an inch from her hand and he hurriedly decides on a new course of action. He takes her hand . He thinks to just move it higher and then try to slip out of the bed to go get some food, but her finger insinuate themselves amongst his and come to rest, entwines on his chest over his heart. The gesture just does not gel with the memories of the motoom oom Faith, but more of the women he has got to know over the last few months. ÒKnow and care about.Ó he thinks. He examines the thought more closely. ÒI care about Faith. hmmm WhoÕd da thunk it? What with their history anÕ all. She had tried to kill him after all, but this isnÕt the same Faith. This is a Faith that laughs and blushes and seems to see him as a person and not just a thing.Ó he thinks. Again an image of the motel room pops into his head. Her at the bathroom door, non-chalantly, dismissing him. Feelings of hurt, confusion, disbelief and of being used. ÒThatÕs done the trick.Ó he thinks as his erection flags, but the feel of Faith against his back is still very good and her rhythmic breathing lulls him into a half doze.

He wakes fully again when he feels her fingers tense in his as well as her body against his and he feels her breathing change. SheÕs awake, but after a second she relaxes again, still pressed firmly against his back. ÒXan. You awake?Ó she asks in a tone made soft and husky by lingering sleep. ÒYeah.Ó he says, his eyes still closed savouring the feel of FaithÕs movement against his back. ÒWhat time is it? she asks, the question stretched out as she yawnÕs with a little sound he canÕt quite describe. Her expanding ribcage pushes her nipples into his back. He wants to get up. He wants to push back into the delicious contact. He should get up, but doesnÕt and feels a twinge of disappointment as she untangles her hand and rolls onto her back, away from him. He realises he doesnÕt have a clue what time it is or even what day. The curtains are drawn and heÕd forgotten to switch off the lights. ÒHavenÕt got a clue.Ó he says as he also rolls on his back. They lie there in silence looking at the ceiling. ÒHow are you feeling? he asks and Faith sort of does a mental body check, tensing and relaxing muscles. ÒMuch better. You just gotta love that Slayer healing and WillowÕs mojo.Ó she replies going limp and exhaling. ÒSorry if I crowded you there Xan. Must be my latent teddy bear hugging reflex or something.Ó she says softly. ÒNo biggy Faith. I donÕt remember you copping a feel.Ó he replies smiling. Her quiet laughter sends little vibrations through the bed. ÒWhat you donÕt know canÕt hurt me.Óshe says and he can hear the laughter heÕd felt, in her voice. They lie quite again and he almost thinks she has gone back to sleep when she speaks.

ÒIÕm sorry.Ó she says her voice very serious. Lying there in comfortable warmth she had come to a decision. She had to do it now. She felt like she was taking advantage of his good nature. He had come looking for her, he had missed her and worried about her, cared for her when she was hurt. She could not let her cowardice and, to be honest with herself, fear of loosing what she realised was her first real relationship with guy, even if it was just friendship, stop her from doing what she had to. ÒWas that all it was?Óshe asked herself, but decided that she was sidetracking. ÒI said no biggy.Ó he replies not picking up on her seriousness until she rolls onto her side to look at him and he rolls over and looks into her eyes. She continues, ÒNot that.Ó He looks at her quizzically as he can see her drawing herself up and steeling herself to do something sheÕs obviously having difficulty with. His hand twitches. He wants to reach out and touch her and tell her that everything will be all right, but he can see she needs to do this. Whatever this is. She releases her lower lip which had pinned behind her upper teeth and goes on. ÒWhen I got back to Sunnydale I kind of apologised to everyone I had tried to kill or torture, you included, and it was kinda a blanket thing. Ya know?Ó, he nods his agreement and she swallows before she continues, ÒWhat with The First and everything there wasnÕt quite time for long apologies and after Buffy kinda forgave me, well I just accepted that everyone else had and they have, I hope.Ó He can hear her insecurity in that last statement and again his hands twitch to console her. ÒWell, there is something I need to apologise to you about personally. I donÕt think it is covered by what IÕve said before and it has nothing to do with the others. I donÕt even think any of them know about it. Until recently I didnÕt even think of it as something that I should apologise for but...Ó, she pauses, ÒIÕm sorry for using you, Xander.Ó she says ernestly. She sees the confusion in his eyes and elaborates, ÒThat night in Sunnydale. In my motel room. I used you and IÕm sorry.Ó she has to look away as she sees the understanding in his eyes and with it the acknowledgement that he knows that she had used him as well as the pain it caused him. She has to drag her eyes back up to look at him. ÒWillow knows.Ó he says and itÕs so not what she expected that she stares at him dumbly. ÒWillow knows about that night, well not details obviously, but that we... you know.Ó he babbles in explaination. She doesnÕt really care. The anger, loathing or revulsion she had feared did not materialise. He was just looking at her the way he always has, well the way he has been looking at her since she has started noticing how he looked at her, that is. The tension literally drain out of her. He rolls onto his back again and she watches him contemplate the ceiling. ÒYou were a different person then, so was I. People change. I donÕt think you need my forgiveness, as such, but I give it freely. What I do think you need is to forgive yourself. LetÕs face it. Life in Sunnydale has pretty much robbed us of all our absolutes, but in the end we got to find out who was really evil and who was as good as they needed to be. Mind you it was usually by dint of whose side had people left alive afterwards, which was us, well except for Buffy, she kinda messes up the theory alittle, but we can all agree she is a special case right?Ó he says focusing on the cracks in the ceiling. She watches him intentely. She has gotten her fair share of life lectures and the Lord knew sheÕd needed them, but he isnÕt preaching like Angel or Wes and even Buffy. HeÕs just talking, working his way through his thoughts and she edges closer to him. This feels very new to her. Very intimate. ÒYouÕre here and alive Faith, so just live. We need to stop living with and in our our pasts. Life is ongoing. It can only move forward and so should we.Ó he continues. She is not sure he is talking just to her anymore. After a pause, she can see a faint smile on his lips. ÒDo you know, that was my first time.Ó he says. She is shocked, well considering, maybe not so much. ÒI thought you and Cordy?Ó she asks the implied question. ÒNope. Close a couple of times, but always Hellmouthus Interuptus and every other women IÕve dated, besides Anya has, well not to put too fine a point on it, tried to eat or kill me and not in a good Debbie does Dallas kinda way. She feels guilty again. He tilts his head to the side to look at her and sees the guilt in her eyes. He reaches over with his far hand and lift her chin. ÒOh get over yourself already. It was good preparation for AnyaÕs bedroom antics.Ó he says grinning. ItÕs such a Xander statement she canÕt help, but smile. ÒBetter.Ó,he says, before asking Ò Think you could do without someone to apologise to for afew minute while I go downstairs to get us some food? IÕm ravenous.Ó He had still been holding her chin between his forefinger and thumb and slides it, unconsciously, along the smooth skin below her lip as he gets up. She is surprised how nice that little bit of contact feels and says ÒSure. I guess I can find somethig to amuse myself.Ó The mention of food has woken her appetite. ÒOh and Xander... Yes?Ó he asks at her pause,ÓBring real food and lots of it. IÕve just slayed a really big demon and am really hungryÓ she finishes and watches him leave the room.

SheÕs sure heÕll be awhile, so she decides she wants a shower. A quick check tells her she needs a shower. She slips out from under the covers and tests her legs before she she stands. She ainÕt nowhere near her regular self, but the rubber legged, new born kitten feeling is gone. She takes her time moving to the bathroom. She closes the door behind her before stripping off the t-shirt and leans into the shower stall to set the water. The water is a bit hotter than she would normally use, but it feels good on her hand and arm, so she strips off her panties and steps in. The hot water is delectable on her skin and she turns her face into the spray and runs her hands through her thick dark hair. She leans forward and lets the needles of hot spray beat against her shoulders and back. She places her hands against the wall and rolls her shoulders against the spray. She moans as she works the little tensions and kinks that she hadnÕt really felt, but were always there. She reaches for a bottle of shower gel, opens it and discovers where most of the Xander smell comes from. She smiles and uses a generous amount of the gel to wash herself. She does this slowly. The hot shower is refreshing, but she can feel herself begin to tire already. The slippery gel feels good on her skin and despite the heat from the water her nipples harden as she washes her breasts and she feels the beginning of a certain kind of ÔitchÕ. ÒApparently not as tired as I believed.Ó she muses, but her legs are already starting to shake just alittle. ÒOh well. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.Ó She finishes her shower quickly and leans against the wall again for a few more minutes after rinsing, just to feel the spray on her back and shoulders again. She turns off the water and reaches to the rail just outside the shower to grab a towel and comes up empty. She fleetingly thinks of just slipping on the t-shirt again, but itÕll be drenched and it smells. She steps out of the shower and listens at the door. She canÕt hear Xander and decides to make a quick dash into the room to find a towel. She is, as fate would have it, nude and halfway between the dresser, and hopefully a towel, and the bathroom when the door opens and Xander backs through it holding a heavily laden tray. ÒXander!Ó she cries out in shock causing him to turn. He nearly drops the tray. ÒSheÕs naked.Ó he thinks and the thought runs and echoes through his mind. She is torn between covering herself and reaching the modesty of the bathroom and does neither. She is embarrassed, but also pleased by the way he is looking at her. ÒYouÕre naked.Ó he says and his voice breaks the spell. ÒTurn Xander. Turn away... Now!Ó he tells himself, but doesnÕt move. His memories of her body quail in comparison to the real thing. His eyes roam over her full, firm breasts, taught stomach and curved hips leading down shapely legs. ÒSheÕs w w wet too.Ó his mind stutters. Faith has never been ashamed of her body, but she feels the ÔitchÕ returning with the way he is looking at her and thinks that she better put a stop to this. ÒStare much?Ó she asks with an arched eyebrow as she turns her body away from him. ÒErrr.Ó is the best Xander can come up with as an answer as he now has a perfect view of her ass. ÒXander!Ó she cries again in exasperation and finally she can see some form of recognition reach XanderÕs eyes. ÒSheÕs wet and naked and youÕre staring. Turn man. Turn.Ó he thinks wildly and his thoughts finally connect with his body as he turns. He can feel his cheeks flaming. ÒTowels? Òshe asks from behind him and he has to stop himself from turning to point to the dresser. ÒTowels in the top left draw and there are t-shirts and sweats in the draws below that.Ó IÕll just wait out there. Sorry. Sorry. So sorry. Sorry.Ó he says and literally flies out of the room. He hears her laugh as the door slams behind him and he can rest his back against it, but he cannot escape the image in his head as easily. ÒDamn sheÕs beautiful.Ó he mutters under his breath before heading to a nearby table to set down the tray. He walks around the room nervously for afew minutes trying to get his hormones under control before stepping back to the door and knocking softly. ÒFind everything OK?Óhe calls through the door. There is a pause and then he hears her muffled voice,ÓYeah. Sweats are abit big though.Ó ÒWant me to go get something from your room instead?Ó he asks. She knows she doesnÕt really have much in the way of wardrobe, but she strangely enough, doesnÕt want him to know that. ÒNo. No. ItÕs OK thisÕll do and you must be as starved as I am.Ó she replies. Her mention of food has indeed reminded him of his hunger and he moves over to the table and samples some of the pasta, chicken, bread and veggies heÕd brought.

A moment later he hears the door open and turns to see Faith enter the room. She looks ridiculous, hair still damp and sticking out at all angles, in an oversized shirt and sweat pants bunched up both at the waist and around her ankles, but all he sees is the beautiful naked vision he had seen afew minutes before. He drops his gaze to her feet in an attempt to steady himself and shifts to hide his bodyÕs reaction to the vision in his head, as unbidden the thought ÒShe is most likely not wearing any underwear.Ó pops into his mind. In an attempt get back on safe ground he asks ÒHungry?Ó She stops her slow saunter over to the table and with a hand at her hip, elbow cocked answers ÒYa think?Ó Apparently not he answers in his head, but pushes a chair away from he table with his foot in invitation for her to join him. ÒSo, what time is it?Ó she asks. She knows the way men look at her and she can see that same look in XanderÕs eye even as he tries to hide it. Usually it amused her, but from Xander it thrills her. She puts alittle extra sway in her hips as she takes the last few steps to the table and is rewarded for her efforts as she sees a light flush on the back of XanderÕs neck and the fact that he is suddenly very focused on the food infront of him, as she sits. She almost wants to laugh, although at the same time she begins to feel alittle guilt at making him uncomfortable. The guilt is a surprise, granted she has felt guilty about a whole bunch of things of late, but she never thought she would over something this simple. Thought takes a backseat as she attacks the food he has brought. He watches her surreptitously. This is standard Faith eating behavior, She eats like she fights. All go and no quit. They have shared many meals in the last few months and it never fails to amaze him. It is one of the few times she is unguarded. Her expressions and gestures of enjoyment clearly written on her face. He realises he has seen her like this before, but clamps down on the memory as it threatens to bring back fresher memories of her naked, earlier, in his room. They are almost done with their meal. Her cheeks are ballooned out adorably like a chipmunk as she tries to dispose of a too large piece of bread and he finds it incredibly cute, when with a light rap on the door Willow enters with Kennedy in tow. ÒOh, Look Ken. The sleeping beauties have awoken and are apparently trying to eat us out of house and home.Ó Willow says as Kennedy shuts the door and moves to her side, sliding her arm around the red haired witches waist. TheyÕd made do with water to drink and both Xander and Faith raise their glasses toward the couple in mock salute as they saunter over to the table, arm in arm. Xander scoots his chair around the table next to Faith and is the first to talk, while Faith deals with her bread problem. ÒFood Gooood.Ó he says in a gravelly caveman voice while Willow and Kennedy occupy the other two chairs at the table. ÒGood to see you up and about Faith.Ó Kennedy tells the other dark haired slayer. ÒGood to be up.ÓFaith replies as she pushes her spotless plate away, having finally chewed the bread into submission and swallowed it. ÒWe checked on you guys a couple of hours ago, but you looked so peaceful, Willow said we shouldnÕt wake... What was it you called them again?,Ó she looks at Willow for effect and continues,Óthe Snugglers. WasnÕt it. Yes, I believe that was it.Ó Kennedy finished.

She and WilllowÕs relationship quirks had been the target of Faith and XanderÕs jibes for long enough and she had, at WillowÕs request, limited herself to oblique references while watching these two dance around each other, but she thought it was time to be more direct. Both, for the fun of it and to get these two to see what it was everyone else was seeing, even Angel had commented on it. She liked the way they both flushed as if they had been caught doing something they shouldnÕt have. ÒSo you two are finally sleeping together?Ó Kennedy continued mercilessly. She loved the panic in there eyes, but decided to let them off the hook for now at WillowÕs disapproving look. Willow interupted her loverÕs little game of payback by asking Faith what exactly happened to her to put her in the condition Xander had found her in. Faith told them the story she had told Xander and she could feel his eye on her and it felt comfortable and nice. Willow thought she had read something about a Chantrikra demon that released all the energy of itÕs victims at death, but she would have to check. Faith asked ÒAre there likely to be more of these ChantrikaÕs, cause if there are, I, sure as hell arenÕt gonna be the one to slay them.Ó The rest of them all laughed at the serious expression on FaithÕs face. Willow answered ÒDoubt it. I believe the text said they are very territorial, to the point, where there is only one in any given dimension. ÒGood.Ó Faith replied and the sudden, huge child-like grin she flashed them all, sent them back into fits of laughter and she soon joined them. Finally wiping tears from her eyes and placing a hand on her laughter sore stomach muscles she realised she still didnÕt know what time it was, so she asked. ÒItÕs just after nine in the P M.Ó Kennedy said after a quick glance at her watch. ÒOh, errmm what day?Ó Faith asked feeling alittle foolish. ÒTuesday.Ó the other Slayer provided. Faith put her internal clock back on track and suddenly felt alot better. It was strange to her how not knowing had set her just alittle on edge and she hadnÕt even noticed it until right that moment. Xander touched her shoulder to get her attention. ÒSpace out much?Ó he asked. She gave him a wan little smile. ÒJust thinking and adjusting my mental clock.Ó she said quietly to nods from the other two women and a grunt of understanding from Xander. ÒSo, do you think you will be fit enough for work in the morning?Ó he asked looking at her intently. ÒYeah. Sure. Five by five.Ó she answered. ÒFaith?Ó he asked again, his gaze even more intense. His look made her feel strange inside. A sort of half pleasure half spider sense kind of feeling, but it did make her consider his question abit more seriously and she took a mental inventory of her body and energy reserves. Slayer healing was an amazing thing and couple with the food and company he had enjoyed in the last hour, Faith was feeling way more her old self, ÒYes,Óshe finallty answered, ÒIÕll be able to handle it Xan, I promise IÕll even take it easy. Let the guys think you tuckered me out.Ó Xander nodded and some of the intensity left his eyes and for just a split second before he turned away she saw the spark of relief on his features. ÒProbably be glad to get me out of his place.Ó she thought and was surprised that the thought hurt. WillowÕs eyebrow was cocked in an aubern arch as she tilted her head slightly and asked ÒTuckered you out?? What??Ó Faith chuckled and explained that Xander had called their boss to explain their abscence and what he most likely thought their extended abscence. Willow blushed just alittle, but Kennedy giggled like alittle girl. ÒXan, the man.Ó she said grinning. ÒIÕll sort it out tomorrow.Ó Xander said seriously, his eyes on the table, but as he lifted his eyes to glance at Faith he was grinning wickedly. ÒThat rumour would so make me the man, now wouldnÕt it.Ó he said with a rye chuckle. Kennedy just simply could not resist. ÒWell you could truthfully say you slept with her.Ó she said, re-using her prior jibe. He actually saw a slight flush on FaithÕs cheeks and did she just shift uncomfortably he thought, but couldnÕt be sure. He could see KennedyÕs game though and decided to play. ÒWhy Ken, are you so interested in who shares my bed? You want some of the X-man?Ó, he asked,ÓI mean IÕd have to ask Wills, but I am sure I could fit you in . DidnÕt figure yore bre bi. Hmm Good to know these little things.Ó He gave the whole speech in his most matter-of -fact voice, his expression as mild as motherÕs milk. He loved the way Willows jaw dropped and Kennedy began to sputtter and try to refute what he had said, but the most interesting reaction was from Faith. He saw her eyes tighten and go hard, just for a moment before she realised his true intensions and then a smugness crept over her features as they both watched Kennedy try to deny everything. Faith cut through the other slayers indignant protests and looking at Xander, her expression ernest saying ÒKnow what Xan, it may not even be you, maybe it is my sleeping arrangements she is so interested in. Hey Ken, Willow not enough women for you? I am sure I could make the same offer as Mr Harris here. With, your permission of course Willow.Ó Her expression of innocence and sincerity was a mirror of XanderÕs. WillowÕs double take was priceless, before she broke out laughing at her loverÕs reaction. Kennedy was going bright red as she sputtered and stammered incoherently. Faith and Xander suddenly grinned at each other acknowledging their masterful double team. ÒWanna play some more?Ó Faith asked Kennedy sweetly. ÒNo. I donÕt think so.Ó the diminutive slayer said trying to gain her composure as Willow sunk her head into her folded arms on the table to muffle her laughter. Xander and Faith high fived. Willow finally raiher her head and wiped a tear from her eye. ÒSorry, baby.Ó she said slipping an arm around KennedyÕs shoulders. ÒThat was so wrong on so many, many levels, but the look on your fact wat was just too much and these two were evil wrapped in innocence. Absolutely priceless.Ó Kennedy mumbled something like ÒNone of it was true. None of it.Ó and Willow hugged her alittle closer. Faith felt a brief pang of guilt. ÒThink weÕll leave now, so that I can lick My SlayerÕs wounds.Ó Willow said rising and pulling Kennedy up with her. Faithppedpped herself from saying that, that was not all the witch would be licking with great difficulty, but managed none the less. ÒYou take it easy tomorrow, Faith.Ó , Willow said in motherly tones as she paused at the door. ÒI will.Ó Faith answered as sincerely as she could. Willow turned to Xander,ÓAnd, you make sure she does. OK? IÕm not loosing another Slayer, ever again.Ó Willow continued and hugged her lover in emphasis. Faith watched as KennedyÕs eyes lit up at the witchÕs words and touch and felt a pang of regret at not having someone to do that to her. She glanced over at Xander and she could have almost sworn that she could see the same thoughts behind his dark brown eye. With, a final wave Willow was half pulled throught the doorway by Kennedy and the door closed behind them.

Faith gave Xander a devilish smile and said ÒGuess someoneÕs getting lucky tonight.Ó ÒUh Huh and then some.Ó he replied with an answering grin and a wry chuckle. ÒSo, I guess youÕll be headinÕ on back to your room then.Ó he continued. ÒWas he asking her or telling her?Ó she asked herself unable to decide from his tone. She hadnÕt given it the slightest thought. She realised she would have been quite happy to share his bed and had subconsciously assumed that she would. The thought kinda blindsided her. ÒDid she want to share his bed? and by ÔshareÕ what, exactly, did she mean.Ó her thoughts swirled. She had been looking at him in a different light over the last few weeks. She had even fantasized about... and a memory of her cumming with the image of his hands on her body flashed vividly into her mind. He took her silence to mean yes and began to rise. ÒWant me to accompany you there.Ó he asked and she looked at him dumbly for a moment before she could still her thoughts enough to answer. Ò Err No. ItÕs OK. I think I can manage to make it down the hall on my own. I know where it is and I am a big girl after all and I donÕt need your help.Ó she answered her tone laden with sarcasm at the end. She could see he was abit taken aback by the tone of her answer, but he hid it by starting to clear their dishes. ÒWhy had she done that? He didnÕt deserve it.Ó she mentally berated herself. She started to apologise, but he was already moving towards the door with the dishes. He opened the door and said,ÓIÕll just take these to the kitchen and your rooms on the way so...Ó She could hear the hurt in his voice and rose in resignation. ÒYou fucked up again girl.Ó she thought to herself ruefully. He gestured with the plates for her to go ahead of him and she did. As, she passed him she said,ÓSorry...I...Ó He cut her off, his eye down cast on the dishes he was carrying,ÓJust forget it Faith. ItÕs been a rough couple of days. You get some more rest and IÕll see you in the morning. OK?Ó Gods, she felt like a shit and she deserved it. ÒYeahÓ she mumbled and continued down the hall. They moved down the hall in silence and she was uncomfortably aware of his gaze on her back.

Xander couldnÕt understand his own actions. He had gotten to know Faith over the last couple of months. He knew she hadnÕt meant anything by her sarcasm. Had he thought she would say no and spend the night in his bed again. He wanted her to. ÒGods he wanted her to.Ó he thought. It had felt so right and good to wake up with her warm form snuggled close to his. The vision of her naked from the shower earlier assaulted him and he had to admit to himself that he wanted more. ÒWas it the mention of their previous... encounter that was sparking these thoughts?Ó he asked himself. ÒNoÓ, was the answer his mind threw back at him. He realised he had always been attracted to the slim sexy brunette Slayer, but this was more than attraction. Any male with a heartbeat and a functioning braincell would be attracted to Faith, but he realised he had gotten to know her and was now more attracted to who she was than just what she was. ÒSo, this is an epiphany,Ó he thought. He was so lost in his thoughts he didnÕt even say anything to her when she opened the door to her room. He just kept on going to the kitchen and didnÕt see the disappointment on her face as she slipped into the room and quietly closed the door. Only when he reached the head of the stairs did he realise he was alone. ÒDamn.Ó he thought and half turned. ÒWhat would he say? What could he say? The truth? Tell her he wanted her? Tell her he was falling in love with her?Ó the thoughts tumbled after each other. ÒWhoahw there Xan Man why did you start throwing around the ÔLÕ word and why didnÕt it sound wrong in your head.Ó he thought, freaking himself out. He needed time to figure this out and continued on his way to the kitchen.

Faith closed the door and pressed her back against it. She should have said something. She should say something. She reached for the door knob, but froze.ÒWhat would she say? What could she say? The truth? Tell him she wanted him? Tell him she was falling in love with him?Ó Her mind froze on that last thought and seemed to examine it from all angles in an attempt to find out what was wrong with it and she was quickly running out of angles. Almost in defence her mind went abit existensial. ÒWhat was Õfalling in loveÕ actually?Ó she asked herself. She seemed to want to jump his bones, but that wasnÕt anything out of the ordinary for her, but at the same time she wanted to wake up warm and... safe in his arms the way she had. That was new for her. Guys were for during, never after. ÒWas that it? Was it the way they liked so many of the same things or that she felt incredibly comfortable just sharing space with him the way they did when watchng television or movies together? Was it the fact that he really seemed to listen to her even when she was talking the biggest load of BS. Was it... Was it...Ó, the last couple of weeks seemed to replay themselves in her minds eye at lightning speed. did didnÕt know what falling in love meant. She had no frame of reference for it. ÒSo, whoÕs to say that this is not me falling in love.Ó her train of thought pulled into the station of decision before looping back to ÒWhat would she say?Ó Her hand dropped from the door knob and she thunked her head back against the wood before she made her way into her room.

He paused at her door on his way back, hand raised to knock, but stalled by his indecision. He lowered his hand and continued on to his room. ÒMaybe a nice long, hot shower would give him the clarity he needed.Ó he thought. In her room Faith reached into her dresser and took out a pair of panties before stripping off XanderÕs baggy sweats and slippin into the cool cotton undergarment. She began to pull his t-shirt off over her head to replace it with the tank she usually slept in, but his scent seemed to surround her and she let it fall back around her. ÒSleep. Yes, sleep had to help. She would be able to see her course of action in the morning.Ó she tried to convince herself as she crawled under her covers and lay on her back. She hadnÕt bothered to switch on the lights when sheÕd entered her room. Familiarity and Slayer night vision made the lights unnecccessary, so she lay there in the dark staring at the ceiling.

The shower hadnÕt had the planned effect. After only minutes his mind rather cruelly informed him that Faith had been in this same shower, naked, only hours ago. That the gel he was using had caressd her skin the way he now realised he wanted to. He hated his mind at that point as he shut off the warm water to counteract the reaction it was elliciting from his body. He towelled off quickly, grabbed and donned a pair of boxers from his dresser, switched off the lights and made a dash for his bed and the warmth of the covers. Cold showers had their advantages and their drawbacks and maybe sleep was all he needed to sort all this out. ÒHe had been right. It had been a really rough few of days.Ó he thought as he settled himself on his back in the middle of his bed.

Two hours later Faith had memorised every crack on her ceiling and was even starting to see uresures in them, the way you did with clouds. She had tossed and turned for abit, but finally settled on her back again. She missed the feel of him. Her subconscious was looking for something it had found that it had not even known was missing and now was gone again. ÒThis is absurd.Ó she said into the darkness before throwing off the covers. ÒYou know what you want Faith and you also know that for the first time you just canÕt just take it. It has to be given to you and itÕs scary as all hell.Ó she told herself outloud as she sat on the edge of her bed. But, you decided to make this new life for yourself and that was scary and itÕs worked out well so far.Ó she continued. A thought crept into her head silent as a ghost. ÒIs that what scares me the most? He is so much part of my new life that if I screw this up, the whole thing will go down in flames. Do I give him that little credit? Do I give myself that little credit? I know he likes me and what is the point of preserving my new life if I donÕt live it to the fullest and find out if there is something more between us.Ó her thoughts seemed to gain volume and decisiveness and the spirit and attitude that would forever be at her core spurred her to action. The click of her door closing sounded very loud to her ears as she left her room and padded, barefoot, down the hall.

Xander felt like he was floating on a sea of darkness. How long he had been laying there waiting for sleep, that wouldnÕt come, he did not know. He could still smell the faintest scent of her on the sheets and pillow and he inhaled deeply for the umpteenth time to capture it more fully. His thoughts were like a gerbil on itÕs wheel, working furiously, going round and round and getting absolutely nowhere. He had feelings for Faith. That was a given. The problem was the definition of those feelings. They felt similar to what he felt for Anya, but at the same time were different in some intangible and elusive way. He really wished he had tried to talk to Faith. He was sure it would have been an unmitigated disaster, but atleast he would have tried and could move on. Would he be able to do it in the morning? ÒDo what?Ó he threw the question into the darkness in a frustrated tone. ÒAm I in love with Faith?Ó he asked himself the question pointblank, staring off into the darkness as if the answer lurked somewhere in the shadows. HeÕd almost lost it when he had found her at that park, just barely alive. She had become such an integral part of his life, and with out him even realising it. Only now he realised how much time they spent together. He had got to see more than her one dimensional bad girl facade and he really liked the person heÕd found. He sighed and then lifted his head to punch and pummel his pillow half in frustration and half to plump it back up. ÒTomorrow is gonna be a long day.Ó he thought to himself and again closed his eye to try and sleep.

She stood infront of his bedroom door. The nervous energy that had got her this far was beginning to flag. ÒNow or never.Ó she whispered as she took a deep breath and brought her knuckles to the door in a light knock. ÒXander? Xander? You awake?Ó she asked through the closed door in a loud whisper. XanderÕs mind would have liked the luxury of time to panic, but his body had other ideas. He was out of bed and yanking open the door before he even realist. St. She had been standing very close to the door and had not moved when it opened which left then standing just barely an inch apart. He had left a lamp on in his livingroom and his eye adjusted quickly to the low light as he looked down at the source of his inner turmoil. ÒFaith.Ó he said softly. She lifted her eyes to his and let out the breath she had been holding. ÒXander...Ó she said and saw him open his mouth to say something. If he interupted her now she would loose her nerShe She reached up and put a finger over his lips to silence him. ÒLet me talk.Ó she said, pressing her finger abit more firmly against his lips in emphasis. He nodded causing her finger to brush up and down across his lips. She closed her eyes at the sensation. He reached to the wall next to the door and switched on the bedroomÕs lights before turning and moving to the bed. He never saw Faith open her eyes or swallow nervously as she entered the room and moves to join him on the edge of his bed. He abscently noticed she still wore his shirt as she settled next to him on the bed and he turned to face her. She took another deep breath and with a silent pray to whichever gods would listen, she began to tell him how she felt. It wasnÕt pretty. No flowery rehearsed speech. She hardly knew what she would say from one minute to the next, but she ended with what she definately knew she had to say. ÒI think I have fallen in love with you Alexander and I want to see where it leads. If you donÕt, then...Ó This time it was his finger that silenced her. She focused on him and saw the smile on his lips that were at odds with the unshed tears glistening in his eyes. Xander watched as her eyes grew wide as he simple leaned forward and replaced his finger with his lips.

The kiss was the most gentle thing Faith had ever experienced and calm radiated through her from their joined lips as striclty controlled and tense muscles melteder der the sensation. She began to melt into him, closing what little distance there was between them, as the kiss deepened. He moved away alittle and fear gripped her for an instant until his tongue peeked out from barely parted lips and licked over the top of her lower lip, tasteing her . She moaned and his tongue found itÕs way past her lips and into her mouth as his hands moved around her waist and pulled her tight against his body. He explored her mouth with deft, sinuoovemovements of his tongue. His left hand traced the length of her spine and lit sparks of pleasurable sensation along her back. Her own hands slid around him and up his back to kneed his shoulder blades as she drew him harder againerseerself. His fingers raked through the mass of dark tresses at the base of her neck and she shivered as his palm found the flesh of her neck and his finger wormed into her hair to support her head as he plundered her mouth. Her own tongue gave up the defence of her mouth and launch an attack of itÕs own. Darting past his lips to first explore his teeth before invading his mouth proper. They both moaned as their tongues dueled in the wet arena of the joined mouths. He was the first to break the kiss and pull away slightly. His breathing ragged and harsh as he tried to suck in air and drink in the vision that was Faith. Her eyes were huge and radiant with emotion watching him as intently as he was watching her. Her lips were red and puckered from his kiss. Her hands were now lying loosely at his sides, his rested on her hips. Faith was stunned. In a little girl voice she could never believe came from her own lips she asked ÒDoes this mean that?...Ó He didnÕt let her finish the question. His hands moved up to cup her face and again he kissed her ever so gently, their lips barely touching. Looking into her hazel eyes he says ÒThis, Miss Williams, means I believe I love you too,Ó and he kissed her again, ÒweÕlweÕll see where this leads us.Ó Again that little girl voice she didnÕt recognise slipped from her lips, ÒOKÓ she said and rested her forehead against his. As,suave answers to declarations of love goes, she knew herÕs was pretty lame, but somehow appropriate. ÒOK then.Ó he echoed and they both smiled. The tensions of he past moments evaporated as they both realised they could still see the lighter side of it. He lifted his forehead from hers and looked down into her eyes. ÒYouÕre braver than I am Faith. I donÕt know if I would have ever had the courage to tell you how I felt, but I need you to know that... that I... wanted to, but honestly didnÕt know how.Ó he said ernestly. She literally flowed into his arms and their lips locked in passion. Her breasts pressed warmly against his naked chest and her nipples were hard pebbles pressing into his skin through his shirt she wore. She could feel his erection press against her belly throught his boxers and the shirt and pressed even more firmly against it. They break the kiss as they sink to the bed, coming to rest on their sides. Her leg is over his, her crotch pressed firmly to his. His hand rests on her hip, flexing ever so slightly, kneading, Her hand rests on his upper arm kneading, unconsciously, to a synched rhythm with his. Her erect nipples are barely touching his bare chest, throught the suddenly heavy and coarse material of the shirt she canÕt quite grasp why she is still wearing. He is staring at her in away she has never experienced before. Men have always wanted her body. What she sees in his eye is a want of ÔherÕ, body, mind and soul. Their faces, inches apart, she realised he was trying to slow things down. His hand leaves her hip and she has to stifle a groan of loss, but releases a moan of sensation as the back of his fingers brushes her cheeck as he brushes away a lock of her dark hair that has fallen into her face. She reaches for his hand and holds it still against her cheek before shifting her face to kiss the back of his hand. She feels his sharp intake of breath at their joined abdomens and smiles. The intensity of his stare causes her body to heat and she whimpers ever so softly as the back of his thumb caresses her jawline.

ÒDo you know, that you have specks of green in your eyes and that you are the most beautiful women I have ever seen, let alone, known in my entire life?Ó he says softly. ÒIf this is his way of slowing things down, I hate to disappoint him, but his failed.Ó she thinks fleetingly as she pushes him to his back and moves on top of him with a hard thrust of her hip, before descending on his lips with a hunger she can no longer control, a hunger she no longer wants to control. Her hands worm under his shoulders to clasp him tighter to her and one of his hands is again tangled in her hair, massaging her scalp, imperceptably guiding her monts,nts, even as the other slips under her shirt to caress the naked skin of her back and the upper swelll of her buttocks. She is dry humping him unable to control the pump and grind of her body. Her stomach muscles are spasming out of control. Breaths taken between deep, fervent kisses sound harsh and laboured, like breathing in high altitude. The humping is not as dry as she had thought. His hand snakes down the cleft of her buttocks and continues downward Ôtil his fingers cup her cunt and begin to rub her there firmly. Her panties are soaked and slippery as she feels the damp material pressed against her sex by his exploring fingers. She breaks their kiss to moan outloud, giving in completely to the sensations. The feel of the shirt on her erect nipples is now unbearable an she wants the garment off, now. She raises herself up onto her knees, bringing her torso perpendicular to his. She gasps and shivers as rivulets and drops of sweat run down her cleavage and spine. She makes to reach for the bottom of the shirt to pull it off, but his hands are already there. Strong, broad palms feel seeringly hot against the skin of her waist, fingers pressing into the muscles at the side of her lower back, thumbs grazing quivering abdominal muscles. Sensation is flooding them both. His hands are journeying up her flanks, the shirt being drawn up with them almost by accident. Her skin is incredibly soft smooth and incredibly alive with the play of hard muscles underneath as her back archs and she pushes into his hands. He pulls her forward an inch or so and the friction of her on his boxer clad erection is delicious torture. His thumbs count the ridges of her ribcage as his hands continue their upward glide. They both groan as his thumbs brush the lower swell of her breasts and he pulls himself up so she is now on his lap his face level with hers. She raises her arms and he drags the shirt up and over her head. Her luscious, kiss-puckered lips appear from under the shirt and he canÕt resist. He holds her upper arms firmly, holding the shirt in place. He feels her strain against him alittle wanting to be free, but all resistance vanishes as he says ÒI love you Faith Williams.Ó and captures her lips again in a soul scorching kiss.

Faith can feel time slow and freeze for just that instant as the words burn into her mind and heart. Her breasts push into his chest as she has to take a deep breath through her nose or pass out from the intensity of the experience of being held, immobile, loved, and kissed as if she were life itself. She sighs as their lips part, time resumes itÕs normal pace and he draws the shirt the rest of the way off and tosses it to the side. Her eyes flutter open. ÒWhen did I close them?Ó she wonders idly. He is staring at her again, but she cannot understand the look of concern on hace.ace. She doesnÕt realise she is shivering in his arms, her breathing coming in shuddering gulps and itÕs been minutes since he had removed the shirt. ÒFaith? he asks quietly,Óare you OK?Ó She understands the words, but cannot fathom the question. To call the state she was in ÔOKÕ was not just an understatement it was blasphemy and irreverance rolled into one. This was beyond anything her vocabulary could describe. She was alive. Completely and utterly alive. Every nerve ending tingled. She was so aware of his penis firmly between her thighs. The cotton of her sodden underwear felt rough against her swollen lips. She could swear she could feel his p thr through it. His fingers spread out over her shoulder blades were delicious points of heat and pressure. He was calling her name again and the fear in his voice finally penertrated her awareness. He relaxed alittle as something approaching awareness returned to her eyes and she blinks. ÒXander.Ó she says in a husky, shaky, feather soft whisper of breath, that manages to convey everything she has just felt to him, and he simply gathers her close. Holds her tight, her body moulding itself to his, her lips pressed to his neck, residual shivers still running through her body, but fading rapidly in the heat of his embrace. He understands, she has never experienced a moment of true, unadulterated love. The pure emotion shared between two people who understand that they love each other on an almost genetic level. Their minds may not yet be able to grasp the truth yet, but their hearts and bodies do. He also understands how much it had took for her to come here tonight. He always new she was fearless in battle, but this was a completely different kind of courage. It just seems like one more thing he loves about this women. He can now feel the dampness of tears on his shoulder and rocks her gently, whispering endearments and reassurements into the shell of her ear as he presses his lips to it. Faith luxuriated in his heat giving in completely to her emotions for the first time. Emotions that ,for the first time, have nothing to do with hate or a fight. ÒSo... this is love.Ó she thinks and feels an almost painful twist in her gut as she also thinks that she could have let this pass her by. She kisses his shoulder, tasting the salt of her own tears on his skin. She finally managed to find a tenuous grip on the feelings that have washed through her very soul and changed her life forever. She also became acutely aware of his erection trapped beneath her. ÒNow, that, cannot be comfortable.Ó she thought and eased herself upward, lifting her weight, but not losing contact. He murmurs in her ear at her movement and she finally lifts her head from his shoulder and shifts to put some room between them, so she can see his face.

Her hair is in total disarray with errant strands pasted to her face which he gently brushes free and tucks behind her ear . Her eyes are red and puffy, her nose swollen, but to Xander she is the most beautiful he has ever seen her. ÒHey there, gorgeous.Ó he says evenly with just a hint of play in his voice. It is so characteristicly Xander that Faith smiles without any conscious thought. Her smile drains the last of the concern from his face, which makes her smile grow even more. ÒThank you.Ó she says her voice rough from her tears and she swallows to clear her throat. The words seem so inadequate for the gift he has given her. ÒI...Ó she starts to say, but his finger over her lips forestalls her attempt at explanation. ÒDonÕt.Ó he says his voice withwith emotion. She reaches up and takes his hand in hers and moves it from her lips. She closes the distance between them and kisses him gently, softly and butterfly light before pulling back again.ÒMake love to me, Xander.Ó she says her tone half commanding, half questioning and again she lowers her full weight onto his erection and she feels it twitch through their underwear. ÒWith all my heart.Ó he groans as he rolls her onto her back, allowing her to stretch out before moving his body half onto hers and kissing her wetly. Her hands are tugging at his boxers and he lifts his hips so she can pull them down. The cool air on his penis is a sharp contract to the heat of her flesh as his shaft springs free, of itÕs cloth prison, against her thigh.She pulls the boxers down past his knees and he is able to kick them the rof tof the way off. His penis rubs and bobs against her thigh as he does this and it is an exquisite feeling. He wants to worship her. He breaks their kiss but sucks on her lower lip, savouring itÕs salty sweet taste. His right hand traces the skin along her left side. his palm runs across her flat stomach feeling the muscles tense to present the taut six pack of muscles underneath to his touch. His hand lingers as his fingers explore the ridges and one even dips lightly into her belly button. He is devouring her with his gaze, committing each and every detail to memory. His lips move downward as his hand movp. Sp. She inhales and her ribcage expands into his hand as he nuzzles and kisses the hollow at the base of her throat. His lips and hand are super heated points of sensation on her already impossibly hot skin. The feel of his hard sex against her thigh is unbelievable and she begins to languidly stroke her thigh against it, feeling the wet slipperiness of his pre-cum. He groans her name and his tongue flicks out to lick the botton curve of the hollow before tracing itÕs way down her chest and into the valley of her cleavage. She releases her breath as his handcups her left breast and his tongue swirloundound her right one in ever tightening circles with her hard nipple at itÕs centre. A soft ÒOhÓ escapes her lips as his hand squeezes at the exact moment his tongue flicks her turgid nub before his hot, wet mouth engulfs it. Her breathing shudders as he sucks hard, drawing her breast into his mouth as his tongue circles and flicks her nipple. ÒGod, Buffy had never described heaven like this, but she would take this over the real thing anyday.Ó Faith thinks feverishly and runs her hand up his arm , onto his shoulder and tangles her fingers in his hair pressing him even more firmly to her. She is writhing again him now. His pre-cum smears her thigh and his penis slides easily over the silken smooth skin. His tongue is a livewire sending sparks through her body with every touch making her back arch and her hips roll. Her hand leaves his hair and her nails rake down his back, testing the muscles. Five whitehot points of sensations that dig into his buttock almost painfully as she crushes his lower body to her and grinds her slick thigh against his trapped member. He grunts at the increased friction and the sound is music to her ears. His hand leaves itÕs molestation of her left breast an she nearly whimpers at itÕs loss, but sparks of sensation make her twitch as his fingertips lightly walk their way down her torso. His mouth switches to her abandoned left breast and gives it to the same treatment as itÕs right twin. She moans loud and breathy. The sensation of his hot mouth on one breast and the cool sensation of the air on her now exposed,saliva wet nipple on the other is incomparible and it only gets better as it is slowly warmed gain by his chest as he covers her more fully to take in more of her left breast. Her breathing stutters as his fingers snake in under the waistband of her panties and run through her very damp pubic hair, his short finger nails grazing the skin underneath. She reaches for his manhood, but he moves away from her. His lips are tight around her nipple and as his head lifts he stretches the tender nub before he releases it. She doesnÕt know if her gasp is in pain or pleasure, but she really doesnÕt care as he has now moved lower down her body and is now on his knees next to her. He reaches for the waistband of her panties and rolls them down her thighs. The crotch of the sodden garment sticks to her flesh for just a moment before he drags it free and then over her knees. She bends her legs at the knee so that her last piece of clothing simply slides down to her ankles so she slips her feet out of them. She flips the panties off into the room with her left foot as he shifts her right leg, spreading her open as he moves to now kneel between her legs. The smell of her arousal is strong, sharp, musky and very tangible and he breathes it in, in huge lungfuls. Her body aches for his touch and yurns for the heat of his. Her hands twitch with the need to reach out and draw him to her and she sighs in contentment as he moves closer and then his lips are on the quivering skin of her taut belly. He nips at the muscles on her abdomen, his hands resting at the swell of her hips. Her hands run wildly through his hair, but clenchs painfully as she tenses when his tongue dips into and bathes her bellybutton, before relaxing. Xander actually stops and looks up at her as she makes a sound that is part sigh, part moan, part purr and all desire, before whispering ÒDo that again.Ó and he does. He finally moves on and her anticipation causes her to pin her lower lip behind her upper teeth. SHe knows where he is going next, but she nowhere near ready when it happens. The kiss he places on her exposed and swollen clit is gentle and soft, The reaction it gets is in direct opposition. Faith cums like a freight train. Her orgasm is hard and violent. Her head is thrown back and her back archs. Her hands grasp at the bed covers clutching handfuls into her palms. Neither of them hear the material tearing around her nails. Had Xander been in any state to think while witnessing the elegant beauty of his lovers climax he would have been glad her hands were not still tangled in his hair. An animal cry escapes the lips of her wide open mouth as juices flood from her lower lips. She begins to relax, unable to explain where the most mindblowing orgasm she has ever had came from. She had not been able to distinguish the feeling of the approaching firestorm that was hlimalimax from the way he made her body feel. This aroused her that much. He aroused her that much. Then thought dissolves completely as she tenses and archs again with the sensation of his tongue delving into her core to lap up her juices. HeÕs had the good sense to try and hold her knees open while doing this, but the force of her reaction has him straining to stop her thighs from crushing his head. Unintelligible sounds are falling from her lips, some sounding like the beginning or end of his name, but not, each time his tongue sweeps up or down her swollen, open sex in long, steady strokes. Xander is totally engrossed in studying the reaction he is drawing from her body. Her texture is smoother than the finest silk, softer then the plushest velvet. Her nectar now replaces his definition of the word ambrosia. He tries to find comparisons to it, but has to settle for the fact that the taste can only be called Faith.

Her body is quaking as mini orgasms run rampant through her body. She wants him inside her. She wants him inside her now, before she loses her mind, before her body dissolves from the heat and emotion. She wants to feel him slide into her. She wants to have enough wits about her to understand and memorise the feel of him spreading her open and filling her up. The pleasure of his mouth is like a drug and she is addicted, but her mind screams at her that there is something even better. With, an effort of will more colossal than any she has ever had to muster before, she reaches for him and pulls his lips off her spasming sex. Her hands link behind his neck draw him up her body. He tries to dip his lips to the valley of her cleavage, but only his tongue grazes her sweaty skin and he tastes Faith and salt. ÒXanderrrr.Ó she whines in a sultry breathless voice as her hips thrust up against him. The way she says his name and her actions makes it clear what she wants and he wants it too. His erection is near painfully hard and he has no idea how he has been able to ignore it until now, yet an image of Faith arched in a perfect bow of exstacy quickly tells him how. He braces his hands on either side of her shoulders as she drags the nails of her right hand down his chest and abdomen before her finger wrap around the steel hard velvet of his penis. The feeling of her touching his shaft for thr first time is exquisite torture and the sensation if etched into hi memory in a blaze of fire. His groan becomes a growl as she squeezes lightly, rhythmicly. She grabs his fore arm with her left hand as she positions him at her entrance and the head of his sex brushes her. Somehow they both pause and he stares down into her pleasure clouded hazel eyes, simply absorbing her features.

Her left leg slowly lifts along his outer thigh before snaking around his right leg and he thrusts, slow and steady. Her heat, moisture and tightness surround him and time is measured in centimeters, then millimeters, then nothing at all as he is fully seated inside her and time ceases to have meaning. Their breaths expell in unison and are drawn in again as if they are a single entity, which at this point they are. She moves her hand up along the taut, tensed muscles of his back and she can feel his arms quiver with tension as he stays absolutely still within her. Not movig is torture, but after all the times he has actually been tortured, and there have been quite afew over the years, this is the only time he wants it to continue indefinately. Her muscles are rippling around his shaft, not exactly squeezing, just points of increased pressure up and down itÕs length. Her mind clutches at straws of thought as physical sesation washes through her in continuous waves as the simple act of breathing causes movement and corresponding stimuli. She wants told S a S a Slayer had muscles he didnÕt even know about and now she was discovering muscles even she didnÕt know about. Then he begins to move. He draws back slowly and she mewls at the void, her sex clenching around him, trying to hold him in place, trying to draw him back. Only the head of his penis is still inside her before he begins the journey back. At the same time he lowers his lips to hers in a deep kiss. Her hips rise and fall matching his thrust keeping the pace the same, but making the journey faster. She grinds herself into his pubic bone at the apex of their movement and lightning blazes through her nerves with the contact to her clit. There are words lost in her panting breathes, incoherent beginnings and ending of sentence that neither of them can understand, but know exactly what they mean. She is liquid heat around him. Her fingers trace wild patterns on his back and shoulders, which grow wilder as their pace increases. The nails of the hand around his fore arm dig painfully into his skin, marking him. He cannot get enough of this beautiful, amazing women. His tongue and lips taste the side of her neck and he loves the feel of her fluttering, erratic pulse as he nurses over her pulsepoint. Her breasts are squashed and plastered against his masculine chest. Her nipples are being rubbed deliciously raw with the movement of their thrusts and counters. Sweat lubricates the joining of their flesh and is running freely of both their bodies. Her head is tilted back and to the side. Her mouth is open wide in an attempt to draw in air, of which there just not seem to be enough of. Spots of light float and dance behind close eyelids. This time she feels the torrent building to breaking point, begining somewhere deep within her very soul. She is flushed and tingling, her muscles beyond her control. She is so close. Xander can sense her impending orgasm as she clenches harder and with less rhythm around him. The very idea of her, once again,so close to climax draws his own completion to the fore. He wants to make some attempt to forestall it. He wants to stay inside her forever, but he is too far gone. Time to go for broke. With, an animalistic grunt he pushes himself off his hands. He feels her nails brag across his arm before she can release her grip. She wants to wail at the loss of contact. She is soooo close. The tip of his engorged member is still inside her as he moves to a kneeling position between wide flung legs. He grabs her waist marvelling at the feel of the sweat slick musculature and pulls her onto him. Hard. He drives into her, the new angle giving him even deeper access than he ever thought possible. She cries out. Her hands scrabbling for purchase on the sheets until she can gather hands full of the material in tightly clenched fists. Again he lasily withdraws, but when he thrusts again she is ready and using her grip on the sheets and her arms for leverage she thrusts back and their bodies crash together in a symphony of slapping flesh and gutteral moans. Twice, thrice more they met avagavage union before her climax, heralded by the stuttering scream of his name. ÒXa..xa.xa..nnnnn...dderrrrrrr!!Ó, hit. Her body literally locked around him for a moment or an eternity, he could not say. Her spine arching so hard she was balanced on the top of her head. Her dark curls fanning out around her in stark contrast to the white of the bed sheets and her glistening alabaster skin and then he heard the sheets rip as she tore the handfuls she had taken. All this was burned into his memory before a blinding white light obscured his vision as her inner muscles released and he came. He felt like he was pouring his life into her. She could feel the hot spurts of his seed as he bathed her insides with his essence again and again. She milked him her body pulsing and spasming to draw every drop of semen from him. The aftermath of her orgasm sparked and rippled through her. Their harsh breathing sounded very loud. His hands slipped off her hips and slip them along her flanks and onto the bed as his knees moved backward and his body collapsed slowly forward onto her. His softening sex slipped out of her releasing the mingled fluids of there coupling and a moan of loss from Faith. He manages to kiss the nipple of her right breast at the end of his collapse before settling with his ear on the soft pillow of her breasts. He can hear the thump thump of her heart and a smile steals onto his lips. She accepts the weight of him willingly as she feels the slow dribble of their combined juices trickling from inside her. She has seen to many apocolypses, but she thinks, if the world has to end, this is how it should go. She brings her arms up to wrap them around him and is surprised to find her hands full of tattered scraps of sheet. She kissed the top of his head and discards the torn pieces of material befoer enfolding hn hen her arms hugging him to her.

There is no conscious thought as he rolls onto his back, bringing her with him. He allowing her to slide down alittle so she can now rest her head on his chest. He has moved them away from the wet spot and she snuggles hard against him. There are so many things they should say, but instead she plants a simply kin thn the skin of his chest as he plants one on the top of her head, before he reaches past her and gathers what bed linen remains to cover them when he enfolds her in his arms. With, a murmurring sigh from Faith, the sleep that they had been so unable to accomplish before, steals over them both.

To be continued... Maybe