The so-called love

Disclaimer: I wish I could write a funny and long disclaimer, but because I’m not in the mood I have to settle to short and boring. I don’t own the characters. They all belong to Joss and blah blah blah. You all should know it.

Authors note: This is the first fic I’ve ever written, so be gentle. Big thank yous to Moxie and Vicky for helping me out. Special thank you to Moxie for helping me with summary (=writing it for me) What would I do with out you? Please review and tell me if you want more.

THE SO-CALLED LOVE

Do you remember your first time? The first time when you had the lights behind your eyes? The time when you knew what ultimate bliss was? Do you remember who was with you, or were you alone? Did you get to know to it by hands, tongue or penis? Was it words, dildo or spanking?

My first time was earth-shattering.
I can’t exactly remember it, not what happened and when, anyway. I can remember him licking me, but I can’t remember if it was before or after he kissed me for fiftieth time of the evening.

I remember the sheets. How they were so soft and moved under us. I remember the sounds we made. I didn’t hear my own, but I still remember how I moaned and how I kept saying his name. I remember him telling me how I’m beautiful. That he loved me. That I was so fucking tight and hot and sexy. He asked me to cum for him. And when he got closer to his own heaven, his rambling got more abstract. It was about bliss, kittens, love, light, pleasure, flying, even horses. And then the words changed to groans. I could hear him making sounds. ‘Uunnhh, Ahhh’, The sounds then mixed up to mine.

I remember him moving above me. Sweat glistening on his forehead. I remember how we first really joined together, how we were joined from the hip, as one person. It felt as if we were one. One body, mind and soul. As we moved it felt that we both knew what other was doing, what the other was thinking.

The moment when the penis goes inside the woman has always been the most erotic thing, I’ve thought. When I read erotic stories it’s not the sex that gets to me. It’s not about how he fucks her deep and hard. It’s about how they describe the moment when his cock slides into her wet vagina.

That is something I’ve always been fascinated with, that is the one point of perfect bliss, more perfect than an orgasm, because you feel like you have just met your other side, and the fact that there is so much more to come.

When he got inside me, I can remember him asking was I ready, was I sure. He didn’t even think it being ridiculous. I lay there naked, watching him above me, naked as well. The most wonderful part was that if I’d asked, he would have stopped. I didn’t answer him. I looked into his blue eyes that were full of emotion, full of love, lust, want, need, with a little fear of rejection.

When our eyes met, he knew my answer. We moved our heads in slow motion. His lips taking mine, or then it was my lips taking his. I can’t remember.

As soon as our lips touched he pushed himself inside me. I could feel pain, tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t want tears, but it hurt and I couldn’t stop myself.

He lay there still. His breath was ragged and he watched me in awe. He kissed the tears away and as the pain was fading away the tears stopped too.

Slowly we started to move. His hips thrusting to mine and mine moving at the same rhythm. First it was slow and it had so much care and love in it. Then when it became too much for us, our pace became quicker and harder. It was full of lust, want , love, need. It was passion.

I can’t remember any thoughts. Or I can remember one, at least. But that’s all. I can’t remember what I thought when he entered me or when he told me he loved me. The only thing I can remember was when he kissed my tears. The only thought I can remember was “I wonder what my tears taste like. Are they as salty as salt.“

I remember him kissing me. Many times. On my neck, eyelids, as if asking them to open. After that my eyes never left his. He kissed me on my mouth, nose, cheeks, breasts. He licked my nipples, our tongues battled. It was magic.

I remember his hands, doing wonderful things to my body, how they moved lower and lower down my body, and finally finding their destination where our bodies met.

Then came the fireworks. The feel of heaven, the most perfect bliss. Remember what I told you about the penis going to the vagina? Well fuck that. An orgasm with the man of your dreams is a hundred times better.

I remember how wonderful it felt, it was something that I couldn't find words even if I tried.

I felt him finding his release too. I could feel how he emptied himself. Hear how he shouted his pleasure to the world beyond us. It wasn’t a clear sound. It was almost as if I was under water and hearing his voice through the humming of it--- If water hums. As I said, I’m not good with words.

Then the moment of heaven was over. I felt him softening and slipping out of me. Plop. It was as if a part of me left with him

“Thanks Luv. I’ll see you around.“ he said

That’s how my world fell apart.


The end


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