As In: To Swing?
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
9,168
Reviews:
96
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
16
Views:
9,168
Reviews:
96
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 1
As In: To Swing?
A/N: There were server problems at AFFNet that reformatted words and made them wonky. I'm slowly but surely going through all of the fics I have here to remedy this - thanks, and grrr!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AUTHOR: Stoney
FANDOM/PAIRING: BtVS, Spike/Buffy, AU
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon didn’t create these characters. I did. Joss Whedon is the Devil!! Ha ha, nice lawyer man. That was a JOKE. I am just a pawn in the game of life... Anyone see Raising Arizona? "See, it's on account of something wrong with my semen..."
WARNINGS: We are grown ups. We have sex. Some of us more than others. This is their story.
All human AU. I wouldn’t dare sully the Whedonverse by writing about vamps. Enjoy, me hardies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1
Buffy had an evil grin on her face as she shut off her computer. She sashayed into her bedroom and found her husband exactly where she found him every night. In bed, papers all around him, laptop buzzing as he ran some report.
“Angel... I read the most wonderfully naughty thing on the internet. Want me to show you?” She seductively crawled across the bed and reached to lower the screen to his computer.
“What-? Honey, quit. I’m working on that.” He snatched the computer away from her and went back to his spreadsheets, mumbling about deadlines and respect.
She blinked back her tears. *I don’t know why I bother anymore. Why is tonight any different from any other night?*
She went to her closet and pulled on some black leather pants and a handkerchief top. She walked back to their bedroom pulling on a pair of high heeled sandals. “You know, I’m glad that you are so fulfilled at work. It would be nice if I could feel that way at home.”
“Hmm? Yes, work and home are nice. How can these numbers be right?”
“Dammit! You aren’t even listening to me! Angel!” He looked up at her. *When did she have that on?*
“You are such an ass. You don’t even notice me anymore. You haven’t touched me in months, and that was because I threw myself at you. If I can count how many times we’ve had sex over the past two years, that’s a problem!”
“Buffy, you know how I feel about sex. The surgery is unneccesary, I don't want the implant, and if I can’t get anything out of sex, I may as well eveneven do it.”
She laughed bitterly. “The doctor said you could just take a pill. A pill! And you won’t do it! I’ve never heard of a man as a-sexual as you. I’m still young, Angel. I shouldn’t have to live like a spinster.”
Angel sighed. “Buffy, I know that you have needs. My god, do you have needs! There are other ways to show you love a person. This house you sit in all day. Those designer clothes you wear. That sports car you drive. I’m sorry that you feel it isenouenough. But I don’t think the act of love is the most important thing in the world. If it’s that important to you, why don’t you go buy yourself a little battery powered friend, or get someone on the sidI juI just don’t care anymore. God, I’m so sick of you yelling at me like a shrew.“
*I can't get it up for sluts, hon. Put two and two together.* He went back to his paperwork, and didn’t see the angry tears running freely down her face.
*********
Buffy climbed into her car and headed downtown to lose herself in loud noise and alcohol. She handed the valet the keys, and began to feel a burst of confidence at the appreciative look the valet gave her when she climbed out. *Angel wouldn’t notice if I gained 100 pounds and wore mu mus.*
She made her way to the bar, and signaled to the bartender to give her the house special. A moment later he handed her something green with a pound of fruit hanging off the side. She raised an eyw tow to him.
“It's called a pig fucker.”
She burst into laughing, and almost poked her eye out with the skewer of fruit.
He laughed with her, “it’s a terrible name, but it tastes fantastic. I swear!”
"Actually, the name is pretty appropriate for tonight. Funny - I just left one only to get another." She took a tentative sip and agreed. Bad name. Yummy goodness.
Two pig fuckers later... A few brave souls tried to get the attention of the hot blonde at the bar, but she batted them away when they tried to seduce her. *Did he just ask me if I come here a lot? Do I LOOK like a bar fly? Maybe this was a mistake.*
“You ought to be careful looking like that. Some Big Bad might come along and eat you up.”
*Are you kidding me - ahhh.* She turned to scowl at the idiot who used such a lame line until she saw the so very handsome man leaning over to light his cigarette. She watched his cheeks hollow as he took a drag. He blew his smoke away from her face then looked back at her with a smirk.
“What poof let you go out all by your lonesome?” He looked at her hand, indicating he saw the ring there, and grinned back at her face, daring her to deny she was married.
She blushed to her roots, then leaned her elbow on the bar and leveled her gaze. “Would it bother you if I was?”
“That depends. Maybe I like to be bothered.”
She smiled back at him and let her tongue wet her lips.
“So, is he a big bloke? And is he waiting outside to pound me, something like that?”
She laughed and let herself move closer to him. “No. Trust me when I say he’s nowhere near here. I doubt he’d care at this point,” she said barely able to control the bitterness in her voice.
He leaned back a little and took a long drag, watching her face as she tried to regain control. *Nice work, Buffy. Hi, Mr. Hot British Guy. Instead of sexy banter, I thought I’d bitch about my asexual shit of a husband.*
He was amused at the different emotions flitting across her face. Christ, this one would be easy. Obviously not meeting her quota at home. Spike was perfectly willing to fill up that tally sheet with this one. God, that hair. He could see himself grabbing her hair in one hand, the other resting on that tight ass she had...
“So tell me, love. What’s a beautiful bird like you doing here all by your lonesome, and no hubby to come to your protection?”
She was having a hard time focusing on anything he was saying as she was focused solely on that lovely mouth of his. *Mmm, full lips...* He touched the back of his teeth with his tongue when he looked at her. *He’s so cocky.* She let her eyes drift down over his muscled chest, flat stomach, huge... *Very cocky.* She let a giggle escape her lips.
He moved very close to her now and let a finger trail up her bare arm to her shoulder, where he pushed back a strand of her hair. Her eyes closed at the touch. *That’s the first time a man has voluntarily touched me in almost two years.* When he heard her sigh he put his lips close to her ear.
“Want to go somewhere more private? Finish this riveting conversation we’re having? I know I do.”
She put her hands on his sides and pulled back to look him in the face. *Buffy?! What are you doing? Oh, his eyes are blue... Buffy! Oh, but sooo sexy....*
“Where to?”
~~~~~~~
TBC...
A/N: There were server problems at AFFNet that reformatted words and made them wonky. I'm slowly but surely going through all of the fics I have here to remedy this - thanks, and grrr!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AUTHOR: Stoney
FANDOM/PAIRING: BtVS, Spike/Buffy, AU
DISCLAIMER: Joss Whedon didn’t create these characters. I did. Joss Whedon is the Devil!! Ha ha, nice lawyer man. That was a JOKE. I am just a pawn in the game of life... Anyone see Raising Arizona? "See, it's on account of something wrong with my semen..."
WARNINGS: We are grown ups. We have sex. Some of us more than others. This is their story.
All human AU. I wouldn’t dare sully the Whedonverse by writing about vamps. Enjoy, me hardies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1
Buffy had an evil grin on her face as she shut off her computer. She sashayed into her bedroom and found her husband exactly where she found him every night. In bed, papers all around him, laptop buzzing as he ran some report.
“Angel... I read the most wonderfully naughty thing on the internet. Want me to show you?” She seductively crawled across the bed and reached to lower the screen to his computer.
“What-? Honey, quit. I’m working on that.” He snatched the computer away from her and went back to his spreadsheets, mumbling about deadlines and respect.
She blinked back her tears. *I don’t know why I bother anymore. Why is tonight any different from any other night?*
She went to her closet and pulled on some black leather pants and a handkerchief top. She walked back to their bedroom pulling on a pair of high heeled sandals. “You know, I’m glad that you are so fulfilled at work. It would be nice if I could feel that way at home.”
“Hmm? Yes, work and home are nice. How can these numbers be right?”
“Dammit! You aren’t even listening to me! Angel!” He looked up at her. *When did she have that on?*
“You are such an ass. You don’t even notice me anymore. You haven’t touched me in months, and that was because I threw myself at you. If I can count how many times we’ve had sex over the past two years, that’s a problem!”
“Buffy, you know how I feel about sex. The surgery is unneccesary, I don't want the implant, and if I can’t get anything out of sex, I may as well eveneven do it.”
She laughed bitterly. “The doctor said you could just take a pill. A pill! And you won’t do it! I’ve never heard of a man as a-sexual as you. I’m still young, Angel. I shouldn’t have to live like a spinster.”
Angel sighed. “Buffy, I know that you have needs. My god, do you have needs! There are other ways to show you love a person. This house you sit in all day. Those designer clothes you wear. That sports car you drive. I’m sorry that you feel it isenouenough. But I don’t think the act of love is the most important thing in the world. If it’s that important to you, why don’t you go buy yourself a little battery powered friend, or get someone on the sidI juI just don’t care anymore. God, I’m so sick of you yelling at me like a shrew.“
*I can't get it up for sluts, hon. Put two and two together.* He went back to his paperwork, and didn’t see the angry tears running freely down her face.
*********
Buffy climbed into her car and headed downtown to lose herself in loud noise and alcohol. She handed the valet the keys, and began to feel a burst of confidence at the appreciative look the valet gave her when she climbed out. *Angel wouldn’t notice if I gained 100 pounds and wore mu mus.*
She made her way to the bar, and signaled to the bartender to give her the house special. A moment later he handed her something green with a pound of fruit hanging off the side. She raised an eyw tow to him.
“It's called a pig fucker.”
She burst into laughing, and almost poked her eye out with the skewer of fruit.
He laughed with her, “it’s a terrible name, but it tastes fantastic. I swear!”
"Actually, the name is pretty appropriate for tonight. Funny - I just left one only to get another." She took a tentative sip and agreed. Bad name. Yummy goodness.
Two pig fuckers later... A few brave souls tried to get the attention of the hot blonde at the bar, but she batted them away when they tried to seduce her. *Did he just ask me if I come here a lot? Do I LOOK like a bar fly? Maybe this was a mistake.*
“You ought to be careful looking like that. Some Big Bad might come along and eat you up.”
*Are you kidding me - ahhh.* She turned to scowl at the idiot who used such a lame line until she saw the so very handsome man leaning over to light his cigarette. She watched his cheeks hollow as he took a drag. He blew his smoke away from her face then looked back at her with a smirk.
“What poof let you go out all by your lonesome?” He looked at her hand, indicating he saw the ring there, and grinned back at her face, daring her to deny she was married.
She blushed to her roots, then leaned her elbow on the bar and leveled her gaze. “Would it bother you if I was?”
“That depends. Maybe I like to be bothered.”
She smiled back at him and let her tongue wet her lips.
“So, is he a big bloke? And is he waiting outside to pound me, something like that?”
She laughed and let herself move closer to him. “No. Trust me when I say he’s nowhere near here. I doubt he’d care at this point,” she said barely able to control the bitterness in her voice.
He leaned back a little and took a long drag, watching her face as she tried to regain control. *Nice work, Buffy. Hi, Mr. Hot British Guy. Instead of sexy banter, I thought I’d bitch about my asexual shit of a husband.*
He was amused at the different emotions flitting across her face. Christ, this one would be easy. Obviously not meeting her quota at home. Spike was perfectly willing to fill up that tally sheet with this one. God, that hair. He could see himself grabbing her hair in one hand, the other resting on that tight ass she had...
“So tell me, love. What’s a beautiful bird like you doing here all by your lonesome, and no hubby to come to your protection?”
She was having a hard time focusing on anything he was saying as she was focused solely on that lovely mouth of his. *Mmm, full lips...* He touched the back of his teeth with his tongue when he looked at her. *He’s so cocky.* She let her eyes drift down over his muscled chest, flat stomach, huge... *Very cocky.* She let a giggle escape her lips.
He moved very close to her now and let a finger trail up her bare arm to her shoulder, where he pushed back a strand of her hair. Her eyes closed at the touch. *That’s the first time a man has voluntarily touched me in almost two years.* When he heard her sigh he put his lips close to her ear.
“Want to go somewhere more private? Finish this riveting conversation we’re having? I know I do.”
She put her hands on his sides and pulled back to look him in the face. *Buffy?! What are you doing? Oh, his eyes are blue... Buffy! Oh, but sooo sexy....*
“Where to?”
~~~~~~~
TBC...