Helpless

Title: Helpless
Part: 1/?
Author: My Reality Girl aka Jessie
Pairing: W/S
Rating: NC17
Warning: Deals with rape
Disclaimer: Not mine never was - just borrowing them for a while!
Feedback: I live for it! Email me at myrealitygirl@yahoo.com
Note: This is A LOT different from what I normally write - if you think I didn’t pull it off let me know! - I set myself a challenge, the question was “why would Spike shave his head?” obviously inspired by James Marsters recent radical new look. I wanted to see if I could write one funny and one sad fic - with that question in mind. Here’s the sad one - anyone else want to give it a try?
Website: where all my fic lives! http://www.freewebs.com/myrealitygirl/


Part one

Willow’s eyes snapped open, the pounding on her front door increasing in volume.

< Thank Christ my parents are away - again. If that’s Buffy pissed off about Riley ‘the wonder’ boyfriend - I’m gonna lose it! >

Sitting up quickly and throwing the covers back - she glanced at the clock as she bolted for the stairs.

< 3.26 am? - Even Buffy doesn’t argue THIS late >

“I’m coming - shut the hell up!” she shouted running down the stairs.

Peering through the peep hole she was a little shocked to see < NOTHING?>, as she turned to go back to bed she heard a whimper from outside.

“Please help Willow” a small scared voice pleaded, the sound drenched in tears.

< Who the hell is THAT? - They know my name? - So okay if it’s a vamp they can’t come in anyway - and if it a big evil demony thing I can zap it with a spell - okay I can do this - I can do this >

Pulling open the door slowly, Willow braced herself for an attack - but none came.

She couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary, until she looked down.

Curled up in a tight ball, huddled against the side of the doorpost - wrapped in a shroud of black leather - was SPIKE!

“Spike? - what are you doing here?”

He didn’t move, didn’t make a sound - it seemed to Willow like he was trying to push himself in to the very foundation of the house, trying to become invisible.

Willow crouched next to him and gently touched histialtially hidden face “Spike?”

Ice blue eyes flew open, fear and pain flashing through them, his face bloodied and bruised - the unusually pale skin showing up through the tear tracks in the muck.

“No” he whimpered, lowering his head - confusion spinning through his mind.

< Where am I? Willow? She’s okay! - No not her - can’t let her know - no!” >

“Spike - it’s Willow - come inside please” she begged.

Spike was scaring her, seeing a bad assed vampire reduced to a quivering wreck was not fun, it meant what ever had happened to him must have been unimaginably horrific.

Tugging at him until he rose and staggered drunkenly inside, falling in a heap from the exertion, turning to close the door, it was then she saw the blood on her doorstep.

Spinning to face him, “What the hell happened? - Your hurt! Who did this?”

“We did” a gruff voice informed her.

“No!” Spike moaned from his prone position on the floor, his eyes fixed in terror at something or someone over Willow’s left shoulder. Willow turned towards the voice and shuddered.

Four big vampires stood on her porch - all looking like rejects from the movie ‘Deliverance’.

‘Redneck wanna be’s or Cowboy gonna be’s” - as her father often called them.

“Toss him out to us little girl and no harm will come to you” the leader growled.

Spike shook at the sound of the voice - his chin touching his chest as he curled up into a tight ball - refusing to look at his tormentors, his demon screaming in his head.

< Shut the door shut the door shut the door > the words echoing around his skull in pain and fury.

“You did this to him! WHY?” she demanded, crouching next to Spike, trying to calm him.

“He kills our kind, helps the Slayer - so we thought we’d have a little FUUUUN” he crooned - drawing the last word out as Spike shook his head, crying in fear.

“Willow help me” he whispered, Willow looked down at him in shock.

< THE BIG BAD! Master vampire - asking Willow the ‘wanna’ be witch for help? >

“What can I do?”

“Stop it hurting - please” his eyes closed as he shook from head to toe.

< My god he’s in shock! - What the hell’s gone on? >

Willow stood up and marched to the door, being carefot tot to stand to close to the barrier that prevented their entrance.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?”

“Willow don’t” Spike pleaded, finally raising his head to stare at the leader.

< don’t tell ple please don’t tell her - she can’t know - never know >

“What’s wrong Spikey? Don’t want your little girlfriend to know? We had a real good time didn’t we - we ALL had a REAL good time with YOU”

Willow shook her head in confusion “I don’t understand - what happened here?”

“You see little girl” the leader continued - his eyes never leaving Spike “Your Spike is just so pretty, we couldn’t help ourselves - those pretty blue eyes and lovely blonde ha
W
Willow turned to Spike in shock - their eyes meeting as she finally understood.

< Oh god no - please no >

Willow could see the shame and self - revulsion etched on Spike’s features.

“You rap….”

“Now that’s an ugly word little one - let’s just say your guy knows now what it’s like to get screwed over by a guy or in his case - four” the leader sneered.

They started to laugh, all four of them cackling on her doorstep - Willow could hear Spike’s sobs rising in volume and her blood boiled.

Her eyes flashed black as she muttered one word - “Incenderay” - in the blink of an eye the four vamps went up in flames in front of Spike’s shocked gaze.

Screaming in pain their roars filled the quiet night air - until finally silence returned and nothing - except for a light sheen of vamp dust coated the porch.

Willow closed the door softly and turned to the fallen vampire - it took him a full minute to look at her - his eyes were fixed on the closed door - his mind not believing what he had seen.

“Come on” she told him, extending her hand to him, a small smile on her face - the pleasure of seeing those barstards go up in smoke had cheered her somewhat - now she had to fix Spike, if she could.

He stared at her hand then taking it with a shaking hand he stood - he turned towards the door and went to leave, with a mumbled “thank you” - Willow touched his arm, he turned “Stay - please” she whispered “I want to help you”. Spike nodded and let her lead him up the stairs to the bathroom - once inside Willow turned and suddenly realised Spike was still wearing his duster - only his dus

< Oh gosh! Look! No don’t !>

“I’ll go find you some clothes - you stay here I’ll be back in a second” she babbled, fleeing the confined space.

Running to her parent’s room, she grabbed her fathers blue bathrobe and a new pack of boxers she’d bought him for Christmas.

< Thank the goddess Dad’s to set in his ways to try new underwear > she thought, as she went to leave the room she spotted the phone < Giles! >

Dialling quickly, she ta her her nails nervously against her teeth, waiting for him to answer.

< Come on! Dammit Giles where are you? Oh at last! >

“Er what?” a muzzy British accent asked.

“Giles - I need your help, what? - Yes it’s Willow. Now listen Spike’s here and he’s hurt, I need you to bring his blood supply over here - now!. Hurry” HangHanging up abruptly she hurried back to the bathroom, pausing she knocked gently and waited for the required “Come in” before she entered, Spike sat on the edge of the bath, his head in his hands.

“Spike?”

Raising his head slowly - his expression one of such pain and shattered emotions that Willow felt tears burn in her eyes.

“Gonna clean you up. Okay?”

He nodded, not saying a word.

Willow moved around him, as she reached out to turn on the shower - a pale hand grasped her wrist, there seemed to be no strength in his grip - it was like a ghost, faint almost insubstantial.

Lifting startled eyes to his - she gazed at him quizzically “thank you” he muttered, his voice raw.

Smiling she turned on the shower and stepped back waiting for the water to warm.

“I called Giles - I didn’t him what happened, just that you were hurt and here”

“Why?”

“Why what?” she frowned in to sad blue eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell him about, about..” his voice trailed off to nothing.

Touching his cold hand she whispered “Not my choice if he knows is it? I won’t tell anyone - promise”

His mouth twitched slightly at the honesty he saw in her eyes - “Thanks”

“That’s okay. Now you hop in the shower while I wait for Giles, take as long as you need okay? I’ve found you some clothes, I’ll leave them here - alright?”

He nodded - saying nothing as she left in the bathroom - alone - with only his memories for company.

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Spike shed his trusty duster and hung it on the back of the door - far away from any splashes he was bound to make.

Stepping under the warm spray he closed his eyes - bracing his hands against the cool tile, he let the warm water cleanse him of the stench and fluids of the other vampires - from his torn and broken body.

Spike tried to remember the turn of events that had led up to the horrendous situation he now found himself in.

< Think man think! - you went to Willy’s for a pint of O pos and a couple of whiskey chasers, they were already there when you got there - bragging about some young girl they’d just snacked on - SHIT! - WILLOW! >

The memories tumbled in on Spike as he stood shaking under the water - he knew now what had happened . He’s confronted the vampires - argued with them - blimey! He even threatened them with the bloody Slayer.

< You idiot! -uld uld have kept your mouth shut >

He didn’t realise they had followed him back to the crypt - he’d been so annoyed that he had sensed their presence.

Once they had got inside there was nothing he could do, he thought they’d fight then fuck off - not beat him to a pulp and FUCK HIM!

His brain kept flashing images through his mind - a belt whipping across his back, hard hands throwing him over one of the sarcophagus’s, pinning him down, ripping the clothes from his body - hands, so many hands - clawing at his exposed skin. He could remember vomiting, the bile burning in his throat as he realised what they had planned for him. His throat hurt from all the screaming - in both anger and pain. The only thing that kept bouncing through his mind was < thank god I took my duster off first! > He shook his head at the absurdity of his thought.

He could smell their cum all over him, his demon had raged in pain and anger - making his head feel like it was going to split in two. It was at that moment he prayed for a quick death - but no escape came.

Not since his early days with Angelus had he felt such fear - Angelus would beat him, reprimand him but he never used sex as an act of torture - even for the most feared in the whole of Europe that was beneath him.

They had each taken their turn with him, the others watching as each vamp had soddomised him painfully - he could smell his own blood mixing with their cum, he knew he was ripped and torn inside - but it would mend in time.

He ached everywhere - the smell of them not leaving with the grimy water as it sloshed down the drain.

Reaching blindly he grabbed a bottle of shower gel form the rack in front of him.

< Soothing herbal? Yeah right! >

Pouring it in to his hands he rubbed every inch of his body - between his toes and even his belly button - not one millimetre of his body was left unscrubbed.

< Still smell em - Why? >

Then he had a sudden flash - the leader had been fascinated by his hair, he had kept stroking it and running his fingers through it even as he slammed in to him- tearing his insides to shreds - he kept mumbling it was pretty - he suddenly understood why he could still smell him.



The memory of the cold dead semen hitting his head had made his demon bellow in fury and disgust. Spike could still feel the vamps hands tangling in his hair as he rubbed the foul fluid deeper in to him.

Spike saw a bottle of shampoo - the bottle pretty and feminine - before him. Pouring nearly the whole of the contents into his hands he attacked his head, sinking his nails so deep into his scalp he almost drew blood.

Suddenly Willow’s scent was all around him - soft sweet, with a slight undertone of vanilla and jasmine.

< Willow? What she thinking right now? - Thinks I’m some kind of poof for letting them do that to me - but I couldn’t fight them, too many, I had no choice. I tried to get away - couldn’t. I was the victim this time around >

Spike’s shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes, thrusting his head under the spray he let the clean water wash the bubbles and shame away.

< If only >

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Meanwhile Willow sat downstairs - her mind whirling over recent events. She could hear the water still running - he had been in there almost half an hour.

< What do I say to him? He looked so hurt - not just the bruises but his eyes, there was so much pain in them >

Willow jumped as she heard a light knock on the front door.

Jumping up she looked out of the peephole < GILES! >

“Thank god” she cried, throwing open the door.

“There’s blood” he muttered, looking at the doorstep dumbly. The red stain turning a deep brown as it dried.

“It’s Spike’s - come in Giles. He got beaten up by four vamps - he only just made it here before they caught up with him” she explained quickly.

“He led them here?”

Willow nodded, about to tell him how hurt he was, but not the reason, When Giles exploded with anger.

“Of all the bloody stupid things to do - you wait till I see him!” he shouted “I had better call Buffy - she can find them and put an end to this. You could have been hurt - KILLED!”

“I’m fine - I killed them already Giles” her voice calm

“You?”

“Yup - a little daylight spell I’ve been working on - no need to call Buffy” the young witch told he calmly.

“My god Willow - where is he? I’ll give him some blood get get him back to my place - I’m sure you had enough of his foolishness for one night” sitting on the sofa Giles made himself comfortable - obviously expecting a wait while Spike fed and changed - Willow narrowed her eyes at the man.

< How dare he! I only asked for him to deliver the blood - not come in and take over! >

“He’s staying here - no arguments Giles, he came to me for help and I’m going to help him. I just needed you to bring the blood over - I’m quite capable of making my own decisions about this” she explained as Giles rose to his feet to argue.

Understanding the expression on her face Giles nodded - what was it Xander used to call it, ahh yes the resolve face - once her mind was made up there would be no talking her out of it.

“Where is he? Can I at least have a word wiim bim before I leave?”

“He’s in the shower - I think he’ll be there a while. It would be better if you leave now” Willow told him, opening the front door.

Nodding in understanding Giles handed her the sack of blood bags he had with him, walking out he turned to her - concern on his face.

“Be careful”

“Always. And Giles’s?”

“Yes?”

“Tell the other’s he’s here but make them understand I don’t want them coming by. Especially Buffy. This is my choice - tell her if she shows up she won’t be coming in and I know some nifty new spells to get rid of unwanted guests. I’ll call her - but no visitors for a few days. Okay?”

“I understand. He’s badly hurt isn’t he” it wasn’t a question, Giles could tell by Willow’s behaviour that the situation was more than serious.

“Yes he is” her voice low.

“Will he be alright?”

Giles knew Spike was a pain to have around sometimebut but since he’d been helping them the older man had become quite fond of the cocky vampire. He had quick wits, brains and a sardonic sense of humour. All in all a tough nut - if he’d come to Willow for help it meant he really needed it - if there was one thing Spike hated doing was asking mortals for help.

“In time” she answered simply “Night Giles”

“Goodnight Willow - tell Spike I’ll call round some time next week okay, and if you need anything, anything at all - either of you, just call okay?”

“Okay” Willow told him, as he left he brushed a quick kiss to her forehead, Willow watched as he disappeared in to the inky night.

Closing the door she laid her head against the soft wood, collecting her resolve and thoughts when she heard a slight noise behind her - turning she saw Spike walk stiffly down the stairs.

Dressed in a pair of black boxer shorts and an oversized robe, knotted loosely - his eyes downcast.

“Hungry?” she asked softly.

Spioddeodded, not raising his eyes to hers, he moved slowly to the sofa as Willow went into the kitchen to fix his mug of blood.

As she waited for the microwave to beep she glanced at the clock < 4.30am? Only an hour? It feels like a lifetime > jumping at the beep she took the warm blood back to the lounge - taking a deep breath before she entered. Seeing Spike walk across the room, his movements usually so graceful and catlike nearly destroyed her, he had walked so stiffly and in such obvious pain that she had to get away.

Returning she saw that he hadn’t moved form his place on the sofa - handing him his mug he murmed a thank you and guzzled it down hungrily.

Willow couldn’t take her eyes off him - his face - that used to be so animate was now like looking at carved stone, no emotion no smirk or saucily raised eyebrow - nothing.

Putting the mug down he moved as if to lean back - a growl of pain making her look at him sharply.

“Spike - would you like some painkillers?” a soft blush covered her face as he turned to her and frowned.

“Can vampires take painkillers? Would they work? Or I could put some antiseptic cream on your cuts and stuff - it might help - I think we have some that has an analgesic in it, it might help?” her babbling over she looked at him, biting her lip with worry that she’d said the wrong thing.

“I’ll try anything at this point luv” he told her, his voice raw - as if it was hard to even speak without feeling pain.

Willow jumped off the sofa and ran up the stairs to the bathroom - after making sure everything she needed was in the first aid kit she sprinted back to his side - slightly out of breath she gasped.

“Take these” handing him three painkillers and her fathers best bottle of scotch from the liquor cabinet.

< He can hardly O.D can he - he might pass out but at least he won’t be in any pain >

Spike smiled and took them from her with thanks - tossing the pills down his throat he washed them away with the scotch.

“Er I’d probably be best if I start where it hurts most” Willow theorized.

Spike said nothing , he simply shrugged the robe from his shoulders - cursing in pain as the material scraped his injured flesh.

Willow sucked in a breath - she knew he was hurt but how badly, his back seemed to be one giant wound.

On closer inspection she could make out both vamp and human bite marks, fingernail sized cuts and a criss-cross of whip marks. Taking a deep breath she began to apply the cooling cream - Spike hissed at moaned at the contact of her gentle fingers.

“I’m sorry - I’ll try to be quick” she murmed - tears clogging her throat at his sounds of agony and distress.

Willow worked as gently and as fast as she could - she couldn’t believe the mess his body was in, she knew they had beaten him up before - before the rape, just not how savagely.

Once she was finished with his back - Spike said nothing but presented her his wounds on his chest and legs for the same treatment.

At last it was over and Spike finally looked at her -ghtlghtly shocked to see tears running down her face.

“Luv?” he croaked, damning his voice for it’s weakness.

“I’m sorry - I should have tortured those barstards for what they di you you - they got off damn easy for this” she told him, wiping a shaking hand across his face.

“Thanks anyway - think I could sleep for a week now pet - you fixed me up good” he lied glibly.

“Liar - but come on, you can stay in the guest room - it doesn’t get a lot of light and it’s got thick blackout curtains for when my Nana stays, she hates any light when she’s sleeping” Willow explained motioning for him to follow her up the stairs.

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Once upstairs Willow lead him to the room - it was large with a double bed in the corner, a bookshelf and a couple of other pieces of furniture dotted about.

Decorated in blue and cream - from the carpet, to the bedspread and the heavy velvet drapes - Spike liked it, but then again he would have liked anywhere as long e coe could of slept.

“I hope this will be okay - if you need anything just call - I’m right next door” Willold hld him as she left, closing the door softly behind her.

Spike lay back on the bed, throwing an arm across his eyes in a vain attempt to bh thh the demons and nightmares he knew would plague him all night.

As he drifted in to a fitful sleep he found himself back in Willy’s bar - sitting not five feet away were the four vamps, the leader was gingging loudly about the young cheerleader they’d shared that evening for supper.

“Tasty little thing wasn’t she - always like em young and tight! The girl was soooo tasty! As I was ramming in to her and she was SCREAMING her pretty little lungs out - that was when her blood was sweetest I reckon! Don’t you boys?”

This was answered with a chorus of yells and howls - Spike looked over at the group and felt almost envious. They could hunt and feed and although rape had never been Spike thing - he had even been known to eat a few rapists in his time - the seduction of young flesh was always fun.

“So what’s next - think we should go after that Slayer I’ve been hearing so much about?” the leader asked.

Spike’s ears perked up at the mention of Buffy’s name - then his demon roared when he heard their next comments.

“I’ve been watching her - she’s got a pretty little redhead that runs around with her - think her names Willow - so I was thinking you boys think that as the blonde was so sweet, that the redhead will be spicy?” laughter followed.

The leader quieted them down “How about we take the redhead - have some fun and leave her used, and of course abused, corpse laying in the Slayer’s yard?”

Spike had heard enough “Not a good idea mate - the slayer would hunt you to the ends of the earth if you touch her Red” he spoke softly but the four vamps all swung around at his words.

“And just who the fuck are you friend?”

“Not yorienriend - just giving you some advice, touch the girl and it won’t just be the slayer after your arse, it’ll be me too” he growled

“You would kill one of your own kind for the sake of a filthy human?” the leader asked, never hearing of such blasphemy before.

“I’d kill you mate for a pack of smokes”

“Just who the FUCK do you think your talking to boy”

“ A dumb fucking vampire - MATE - now if I were you I’d take your little gang and get the hell out of Sunnydale, before I tell the Slayer about your little plan. I hear L.A is lovely this time of year” Spike stood slowly, his coat billowing out behind him as he turned - now face to face with the lead vampire.

“Your Spike! - we heard about you, running with the slayer, kil you your own kind - how can you sleep at night?” the vamp roared as Spike opened the door to the bar.

Turning slowly he cocked his head and gave a sly grin “Don’t sleep at night - mate and another thing”

“What?”

“Fuck you” and with that he was gone- leaving a seething group behind him - he never saw the evil light flash in the leader’s eyes.

< Pretty for a vampire > he nodded to his flunkies “follow him”

Walking slowly after them his grin widening as he saw his boys stalking the arrogant vamp easily - < no Blondie, instead of Red I think I’ll fuck YOU>.

TBC