Xander's Diary
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,612
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,612
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Xander's Diary
Xander’s Diary
Sometimes, the images my mind comes up with are too real.
When I spend the whole day at work fantasizing about Spike,
I feel myself living in these dreams.
I drift deeper and deeper into my little world
and after a long day I am too exhausted
to make the effort of differing dreams and reality.
The only thing that stops me
from throwing myself into his muscled arms is
the squealing annoying ex-vengeance demon
jumping into mine.
Tearing me out of the
loved and safe ambience
I conjured up.
Painful.
And all I can give to him instead of
the possessing kiss to the pouting lips
is a look pregnant with forced hostility.
Shaking up the unwanted blond
I manage to sit down
without breaking into tears and
cry out my … yearning for the undead.
How can I go on like this?!
I simply go on.
At night, after I fulfilled my duty as a carrying husband
to the never sated, too loud moaning, too much demanding
wife
with the help of sex toys and excuses of exhaustion,
I lie awake and pretend to be with him.
No.
No sweaty wank fantasies go around my head.
Just being with him would be fulfillment.
Complementation.
I wish to lie down with him,
side by side,
one hand entwined with one of his’
and bask in content, trust, confidence.
Because these are the things
I never have
but will always desire.
X
Sometimes, the images my mind comes up with are too real.
When I spend the whole day at work fantasizing about Spike,
I feel myself living in these dreams.
I drift deeper and deeper into my little world
and after a long day I am too exhausted
to make the effort of differing dreams and reality.
The only thing that stops me
from throwing myself into his muscled arms is
the squealing annoying ex-vengeance demon
jumping into mine.
Tearing me out of the
loved and safe ambience
I conjured up.
Painful.
And all I can give to him instead of
the possessing kiss to the pouting lips
is a look pregnant with forced hostility.
Shaking up the unwanted blond
I manage to sit down
without breaking into tears and
cry out my … yearning for the undead.
How can I go on like this?!
I simply go on.
At night, after I fulfilled my duty as a carrying husband
to the never sated, too loud moaning, too much demanding
wife
with the help of sex toys and excuses of exhaustion,
I lie awake and pretend to be with him.
No.
No sweaty wank fantasies go around my head.
Just being with him would be fulfillment.
Complementation.
I wish to lie down with him,
side by side,
one hand entwined with one of his’
and bask in content, trust, confidence.
Because these are the things
I never have
but will always desire.
X