Surprised Innocence

Title: 'Surprised Innocence.'

Rating: NC-17. Strong and dirty language, pain, slight ( ? ) rape and just overall great sex. ( Ya'll know Angelus is a good fuck. :P )

Summary: The scenes Joss didn't show when Angel lost his soul with Buffy. >:D

Disclaimer: We are not, in anyway, related to Joss Whedon, Mutant Entertainment and Fox. Also, lyrics are copyrighted to the rightful owners. This is just for the sake of keeping sane after being bored and online with a friend. Hope you enjoy.

Author's Note: The WB can suck my non-existant balls for cancelling Angel. If you didn't know this, please, go to: http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?ai5d0162 and sign the petition for the WB to realize that a great show is being cancelled!

Also: I took the name from the episodes of Buffy back to back, dealing with Angel losing his soul, and then Buffy finding out about Angelus.

Warning: This might not be for everyone. Well, you were warned. xD

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Buffy's heart was torn. Beating in ragged gasps. She had run a lot faster, but never for her life or Angel's own in such a way. Through the pouring rain, they latched onto the other. Keeping their bodies close together. The judge was assembled now. No activation required. Taking the seat on the bed, Buffy held the towel given to her, to her chest. "Thank you." She whispered, drawing up her shirt but sucking in a sharp breath at the pain that trailed over her upper body. Just another chalk up against death. She had faced it many times, and came back with scars. Only this was different. She almost lost Angel. The thought of such a thing was unbearable, tears now mixed with the rain on her serene face.

"What's wrong?" He asked. When she told him she had a cut he asked her to let him look at it. She said okay and he turned around and came close to gasping. She looked lovely and lonely and scared and desirable all at the same time. She was holding the towel in front of her, modestly covering herself. He went around to examine the small wound which was now only a rapidlalinaling scratch. Without meaning to he moved his hand over her back. She was just about naked from the waist up and she smelled of tension and fear and desire and love. He felt himself going very hard and he swallowed. It had been increasingly difficult to be with Buffy because his desire for her had been growing in intensity. He had to keep reminding himself she was just 16 - well 17 now - and not ready for a more mature relationship. Just why did she feel so ready at the moment? He had almost moved into a more mature relationship when she had visited him in the morning telling him about her dream. He had come so close to asking her not to got to school but to stay with him - stay all day with him. Now he felt that control slipping away like ice melting in the sun.

Buffy flinched slightly when Angel's hand come up to first touch the cut. "Is it bad?" She asked, afraid to turn and look at him. Afraid to see the look in his eyes. Something powerful was brewing between the both of them. Never had she felt so mature as she did right here and now. In her boyfriends bedroom, on his bed. Half exposed to his hungry eyes. As his hand lingered on her back, her head did turn to look over her shoulder at him, a look of pure love in her eyes. She had almost lost him, without even knowing his touch. "Angel.." It was all she needed to say, lips coming closer to his lips. Timidly reaching for that one strong kiss that would render her helpless to his touches. It was one of those kisses out of the movies. The start to something much stronger. How she wanted to say more, but tonight, maybe actions would indeed speak louder than words. Slowly her towel was lowering, revealing soft tanned skin of cleavage.

He tried to resist her, he really did. But it was just too much. The events of the day, the fact that he had almost lost her first because he had been going away for god only knew how long and then see that damned judge approaching her , his hand outstretched to burn the very life out of her. God, he could have watched her die never having felt her warm womanhood, never having experienced her. The thought was intolerable to him. "Maybe we shouldn't." he started to say but she just asked him to kiss her. Their lips met, gently at first, expressing their love. Then the kiss intensified. His tongue slid into her mouth, exploring her and his hands came up to her shoulders pulling her down on the bed with him. The towel slid away from her and they pressed together. His wet shirt was in their way so he quickly removed it pressing his now bared upper body to her naked breasts and stomach. "Buffy." he murmured. "I love you. I try not to but I - I can't stop." His voice broke on the last word. God how he loved her with every fibre of his being. How he wanted all of her and he knew that now she was about to give herself to him. Tears filled his eyes and flowed down his face. "Buffy."

Buffy's hand came up to stroke along his jawline and cheek. "Shh, just kiss me." She assured with a smile, lips crushing together in a hard kiss that declared every single emotion. The love that burned inside her. The fear of losing him. If only they both knew how much they would lose the other, only to find themselves at the end. Starcrossed lovers. One born of darkness and touched by light. One born of light, surrounded by and living in the darkness. When naked skin was on naked skin, her body shivered. One of those shudders that rattled you inside and In In her blind love, Buffy's fingers played across the length of his back. Wet drops being brushed off by her hands. She was learning all his curves. Knowing his body as she knew her own. Pulling away from the kiss as they worked the remainder of their clothing off, Buffy smiled up at him. "Don't try not to love me, please, Angel. I love you, and I know I need you. In every way." Lips brushed his lightly, whispering the gentle words whole heartedly. Seeing his tears brought up Buffy's own, her smile never leaving her face. They could finally go to the point. She could finally show him how much she loved Angel, giving a part of her that could never be taken back. Like the virgin she was, she shifted, one leg coming up to hook around his waist, the feel of his erection brushing nst nst her sex was absolutely erotic. She was taking that one final step into womanhood in the safety of Angel's arms.

He was crying openly now, his dead heart suddenly feeling very much alive and as if it were growing to bursting capacity within his breast. All the long and lonely years seemed to be melting away from him and he embraced her. The moment he had dreamed of for so long had come. The rest of their clothing had been removed and discarded now and her little hands were caressing him with love. She didn't know quite what to do so she was just following her instincts which was charming and delightful and very naturally exotic. He had taken virgins before, sometimes not letting know his true nature until he had penetrated them. They had loved him and trusted him as she was doing but of course it had only been a game. Never had he taken a woman in love. In some ways he was as much a virgin as she was in this situation. His hands gently ran over her face as she looked at him, her love showing in her eyes. "Buffy." he said again. He kissed down her face, gently, then to her neck stimulating her so that she would find this first experience as physically enjoyable as well as emotionally fulfilling. His lips did find her breasts and he caressed and kissed them sweetly, running his tongue over one nipple, his thumb and forefinger gently playing with another. She shifted and threw a leg over his waist, opening up to him. His erection was pushing against her opening. She had not seen him and had no idea of how big he was. He was a little concerned about her smallness and knew he was about to hurt her. He gently raised up sliding just a llittle way into her, stopping when he met her barrier. He kissed her deeply then and pushed in harder making the break of her virginity a smooth single but gentle motion. It had hurt but not as much as it could have without his expertise. He did not push the full length of his large penis into her but went in and out just enough to stimulate her sensing her reactions to what he was doing.

Was it her thinking, or was he just as nervous as she was? Buffy knew they were more connected than they could ever imagine at this point. They were more than soon to be lovers. Stars seemed to be aligned tonight. The rain still poured against the pavement outside, crashing down as the wind blew harshly. Perhaps the stars were weeping for what was soon to come of the union between vampire and slayer. Sworn enemies made lovers by passion. If there was one word she could hear for a lifetime and only that word, it would be from Angel and the word would be her name. His love caressed her name, consuming her heart with tenderness. He held it now in his hand, loving it as he would his own heart. Looking up, she felt him push in, her body responding with opening up more to him. She was tight, as he was thick. Buffy trusted him with her all. Reaching up, her hands reasted flat against his back, and with that deep kiss, that block to fully be inside her was gone. Golden brown eyebrows knitted together, green eyes fluttering closed to allow golden lashes to rest against her cheeks like angel wings. She swallowed her pain, letting herself cross that thin line of pleasure to pain. She was knew at it though, and still felt that aching pain travel up from between her legs. She was fighting between both emotions. One taking over as the other faded. Then coming back. "Angel." Buffy cried gently from behind his lips, muffled. Reaching up with her other leg, she threw it over the opposite side of his waist and locked both loosely around. Giving him enough space to pull back, then go down once more. Gradually she'd help in the motion. Right now, she was just adjusting to the entire situation.

Oh god - he was actually inside her. She was his now completely. "Buffy --- Buffy --- Buffy!" He said her name over and over like a mantra. Joy swelled up inside him -joy such as he had never known. He was totally and completely happy. She loved him, she was his and he was hers. Even as she was giving herself to him, he gave himself back to her, fully and without reservation. Everything faded into the distance -there was only her and only this moment. This was his entire existance. In and out, gently, then slowing increasing the rhythm sensing her growing response to what he was doing. Her vaginal muscles tightened around him. He held back, continuing to stimulate her. She would have read about this but not really understand what was happening. He felt her orgasm coming close and he adjusted perferctly to it. As she climaxed he watched her face go into surprise rapture, then he too lost enjoying his release inside her arching over into such estatic pleasure such as he had never before known.

As he announced her name over and over, she did the same. Both names being drawn out in long breaths, followed by either panting or heavy moaning. She was getting used to it all, alright. Her body was naturally responding to the pleasure he was lavishing her with. Soon she was following him in the motions of their bodies. Fitting together as no other pair could be. They were matched in so many ways. Lovers for eternity. Tonight they gave themselves over to the other, taking the part given to them as replacement. Locking them in a binding life. As the pace increased slightly, Buffy felt the immense pleasure overtaking her tiny body. Nothing ever felt this amazing. Made her so aware of her body and all the pleasureable things that could come from it. With a startled cry, she moaned Angel's name repeatedly, her muscles clenching around him to draw out more of his seed into her. Wanting to take all of him into her. To make her body feel that much more whole. They both rode each other out for as long as they could. Buffy now laid against the bed, golden hair fanned out, eyes shut tight, and a thin layer of sweat coated her body. Giving her an actual physical glow to tharst rst time. "Angel, I love you." Buffy said breathlessly.

He lay on her for a time, not wanting to leave her just yet. Then he gently moved off her pulling her to him so that her head rested on his chest, his arms around her, one hand stroking her hair. He kissed her forehead. "I love you Buffy - lonin - I love you. God, I never knew I could love this much. My love -my sweet Buffy - lonin - love." He kept kissing her and stroking her hair. He was crying again, crying from happiness and release. He knew he had giving her pleasure too, and during her first time. He was pleased with himself. He always wanted to pleasure her this way. Always. Oh god, this was only their first time. They were lovers now and would no longer have to part so soon. He would not have to hold back now and come home frustrated and filling with longing for her. He often had to bring himself to release when he had left her, a very unsatisfying situation. Not any longer. Lovely thoughts played through his mind. Patroling with her and then taking her to a secluded place afterward to let her get the release from the sexual tension he knewed filled her after a good hunt. Sneaking in her bedroom at night and making quiet love to her while her mother slept on unknowingly in the next room. Her coming here often, maybe spending whole nights with him when her mother was out of town. He sighed in deep contentment. Their future was bright.

The Judge, Drusilla, Spike, Giles, the others, were all forgotten. The world faded to gray. Faded to nothing but a shade in her mind. Only they existed right here and now. She had someone to cherish her as she cherished him. She could watch him sleep in her arms at night. Be the slayer to protect the vampire. Guard him with her life. Make sure that their love was never harmed. Buffy was Buffy still, and so she had no clue what Lonin meant. "Mmm, what's it mean? It sounds romantic and loving." Her finger traced down the line down the center of his hard stomach. The sheet only covered their lower half, her naked chest pressed to his. Sleep was coming over Buffy, eyes closed in a pleasant tiredness. "I feel pleasantly numb. Is that a good sign?" She wondered, yawning before her hand stopped.

"Lonin is gaelic. It means - darling, I guess would be the closest English word. But it means more than that. It means.." he searched trying to find the best explanation. "It means - my life, my true love, my soul mate." He looked at her love shining out of his eyes. "And that's what you are - my soul mate, my very reason for existing. I have never loved anyone before Buffy. Never. This was as new to me as to you. I never really believed it was possible to love like this - until I met you. And yes, feeling pleasantly numb is a good thing." He laugh He He could himself stirring in renewed desire though. He didn't want to hurt her, she was probably still sore. He made a tentative approach ready to change the subject if she gave an indication she wanted it changed. "Just how numb are you?" He asked teasingly. "Totally numb - or just a little numb?" His hand began caressing the small of her back, tickling her. His eyes held an obvious question.

"I like the way it's said. Lonin. You make it sound so.." Rubbing against him, she tried to think of a word that wouldn't make her seem like some airheaded little highschool girl in love. Which she sort of was. "..beautiful." There, she settled on a word. "I wasn't sure. I was sort of lost. Should I be numb, or should I be wanting more?" Once more, Buffy was timid in questioning once more, eyes opening slightly to peer up at him. "A little numb. Sorta tingly. If that makes any sense. I could go another round, but then sleep, mister." She finished with a tap to his nose. They would need the rest come tomorrow night when they'd have to assemble their own party to find a way to bring down the judge. Reaching up, Buffy's lithe body rubbed against his harder one. Her lips had been searching for his, and when they found the other, she made no effort to pull away anytime soon. He needed no breath, and she could easily breath through her nose.

"I could go another round." She had said. His eyes lit up with pleasure and amusement at his little slayer saying that to him. "Then sleep, mister." She ordered, the old Buffy in charge coming out. Her lips were looking for his and he let them be found. The kiss rapidly grew very passionate and he felt himself growing hard in response. Was there ever a happier moment for either of them? Certainly not for him. He moved his hands over her body, arousing her again, letting his more than 250 years of expertise minister to her body, stimulating her, getting her all aroused. Actually, he was amazed at how little it took. Buffy was in no way slutty but she was certainly a most turned on young woman. "A perfect match." He thought. His own libido always seemed to be in overdrive, something which had made his Angel years that much more difficult. No need to be deprived now. In almost no time she was ready for him and he slid into her again. He was as gentle as the first time until something shook through his body. He was startled and started to withdraw when he shook him again. The room faded. He was in the woods running, some unknown thing after him. What? Where? Then he recognized it. The woods outside the gypsy camp where he had been given his soul. Why was he here. Suddenly he knew. OH, NO - OH, DEAR GOD, NO! He tried to come back, tried to call out and warn her, but suddenly he felt himself lose contact with himself. He was floa fre free and unattached to his body. "Buffy!" his mind screamed.

The moment he entered her, all things came lighting up again. Her body responded to his in such ways, that would have seemed such perversion. She was pulsing around his hard member, knowing that she could actually do this on her own free will. But, it now came as impulse. Natural reaction to suchasurasure. Now the little slayer lifted her hips, rocking against Angel in perfect harmony. Their bodies interlocked for the ride to orgasm, up and over the edge. To crash down onto the other, arms securely around their partner. Slowly he started to work a little harder, his body shaking around him. Buffy was confused, instinctively she latched her embrace around him, holding him to her chest. "I love you Angel. Always and forever." She whispered into his ear, cheek to cheek, she came around him. Juices now starting to flow around his aching cock. He had aroused her more than ever. But yet, something cold lingered in the air. Buffy's slayer senses picking up on nothing good. Something was stirring inside Angel, and she pet his cheek with care. Not wanting whatever was upsetting him to surface. If only she could understand that it was now at the surface. "My Angel, forever." Buffy moaned the last spasm of pleasure from her.

He was back. Just like that. His body shaking in pain as he had when the soul returned. For a moment they were both outside the gypsy camp - Angelus as alarmed as Angel - and then the soul was gone and he was here alone - in charge of his body again, his body that was right now joined with a hot and panting little slayer. "Gotta admired where the boy dropped me off." he thought. Then he was suddenly slamming into her hard, his need to release after being cooped up for over 100 years extreme and immediate. Wham - he completedly filled her. Withdrew almost out of her and them slammed into her again hard. He was hurting her - it was obvious. That only added to his enjoyment. He vamped, slamming into in harder. His penis, that much bigger now, tore into her small little vagina, ripping, tearing it and forcing it to expand to meet his demands. "Do you feel pleasantly numb now slayer?" he asked in amusement. Out and in forcefully, harder and harder, and faster and faster. He exploded inside her. Oh, God that was good! He lay for a moment, then willed himself hard again and started over. She had had no time to recover from his first brutal assault. Now he was at her again, enjoying her pain as well as being amused by the fact that her body was actually responding to what he was doing.

Buffy had went to lay back to enjoy the feeling of his orgasm freeing inside her body. Up through her. Despite how cold it was, she believed it warmed her. Her hands feathered over his face, and then he shifted. He was rocking her hard. Harder than she imagined he would EVER go with her. Sudden fear racked her body, tensing up and adding to the painful numbers he was ravishing her with. In and out. Harder and faster. Buffy was whimpering, her hands now to his chest, trying to push him off. Something was wrong here. Slayer or not, she knew it from human instinct. Humans were a vampires prey. That little light went off in her head, alarming her senses to overdrive. The walls to her pussy tore, more blood cascaded down her thighs when he vamped. Buffy was left staring up at the vampiric nature with fear. She wasn't the slayer right now. She was just some foolish little girl in the arms of a man that was taking advantage of her new body. "ANGEL! STOP!" Buffy choked out, trying to get him to register who he was hurting. Whoosh. In came the feeling of his cold seed. Now it was just that. Dead and cold. Making Buffy colder to the core. Her heart felt heavy, even as the dread swept over her. The tears of once joy, turned into tears of total confusion. "ANGEL, PLEASE!" Buffy was pleading, tossing and turning under him. It only served to please both theit bodies more. Yet still, that pain was so keen. More then the pleasure. Her head was spinning, shortage of osygen entering her body was making the world start to go black. From one shade to another. This was not her Angel. Not the man who went above the demon in loving her. This was something else. Buffy wasn't wrong about certain things. "I lovu, pu, please, stop hurting me, Angel." Her last words were gasped out from her as Angelus now brought himself to another climax. Buffy too exhausted to fight back, but very much awake.

He lay on top on her after the second come. She was begging him to stop; or rather begging her lover to stop. "Sorry - Angel's left the building." he thought. He looked down at her, her face covered with tears, exhaustion and fear. "Oh, I'm sorry slayer - I got so excited I forgot to make sure you came along for the ride. My sincere apologies. Not like me at all. Here, let me make it up to you." Now he started yet again, but not quite so brutal this time. Despite her pain, fear and exhaustion he knew just what to do to get her stimulated. She was climing with him now and he wanted to crow at his own abilities. A vampire getting a slayer off. Well, wait till he told the family about this. Carefully he brought her higher and higher till she went off again and he released once more inside her, letting her ride the wave with him. As they both finished, he lay down on top of her, his large body pinning her's under him still. "Well that was fun." he said. "What would you like to do next?"

Through all the pounding he forced on her, that now pounded her head, she heard him clear as the daylight. Slayer. Why was he calling her Slayer and not by her name?! With widening eyes, her heart broke into pieces. He had forgotten all about her. Used her body for his enjoyment. Buffy was far from one to be a selfish lover. It was just so new to her. To have him just think on himself wasn't Angel style. Ah, but then he was riding her gentler. Taking his ease this time. Showing her that he was sorry. At least that was how Buffy perceived it as. This orgasm was somewhat like the first, not as intense and it still hurt. Her sore muscles contracted around his erection, and she winced. Damaged tissues trying to repair themselves with Slayer strength, but not able to, due to the trusting Angelus still worked her with. Once he stopped, pinning her there, Buffy was shaking. Fun? Buffy's chin was quivering, the look of a deer caught in headlights taking image in her green stare. She seemed so much older now than she ever had. Into those dark orbs that seemed to be a vast wasteland of emotion, her eyes locked to. "Fun?" She sobbed out, trying to free her wrist from his hold. "I..I..need to go home, it's late." She had planned on staying the night silently after the first time. Now, she just wanted to go home and curl up; alone.

"Oh, what's wrong slayer?" he mocked. "Was I too rough on you? I'm surprised - I thought you were tougher than that. You certainly acted like an experienced hooker for a while there. Whew - hard to believe you were a virgin. But now look, all blubbery like some silly school girl. Oh well, guess that happens when you fuck a kid instead of a grown up. I should have realized." He had made no move to get off her but had just raised his upper body a little so he could watch her reactions to his hurtful words. Those reactions caused a grin to spread across his feature. His face had returned to human vistage so the grin was quite obvious. "Come on, Buff, I'm just joking with you. It's normal for lovers to play little games after love making. Don't go so serious on me. Didn't you enjoy yourself? I know you did. You liked it. You like this too." He lowered his head to her breast and took one of her nipples in his mouth. At first he just gently played with it, getting it hard and sensing her reactions. Just when she began to respond physically to what he was doing, just when her nipple was at its most sensitive, he bit down hard, hard enough to break the skin and draw blood. He sucked at it greedily. Slayer blood. The power of it hit him and rocked him with a new kind of desire. He wanted more. He wanted all of it. He growled, vamping again, and biting harder, tearing into her soft flesh.

Buffy was fighting the urge to cry. That fight was abandoned with the harsh words he spat out with humor. He called her a child. Told her she acted like a whore for a while. It made her feel dirty. Useless. Something that had no right to have the love of this man, or any other. With empty eyes, she broke the spell that his eyes casted to her. Like prey to predator. Once eyes locked, the game ended. The prey falling victim to the hunter. Buffy was left powerfless. He took everything she once felt she was made up of, and crushed it. The heart he had held in his hands was like the dust scattering in the wind after a slay. Before she could get any word in edge wise, he fiercely bit on her nipples, dull mortal teeth broke the skin. At first the blood only surfaced to the abusing skin. "Angel, do--oooo!" She was arching her back against him, chest pressing into his mouth almost, welcoming. And in a way she was. Until he vamped. The rough edges of his face scraping her skin, fangs pentrating the tender skin. The blood bd tod to the surface and bubbled out in mouthfulls at a time. He lapped at every drop she spared. "ANGEL! STOP!" She was wailing now, trying to fight against him. Her heart which was fueled by fear, served to pump more of the warm, sweet blood into Angelus' mouth. That scent of Vanilla and lust, replaced by absoulte fear. This wasn't her Angel. "Get, off!" She screamed, using force. Her hand wriggled free, elbow coming down to make contact with Angelus' nose. Like a shark. Hit them in the nose or eyes, and they might very well loose their sense of balance. Vampires were like sharks. Able to smell blood from miles away. Drawn to it with nothing else mattering. They tore at their food. Ripping it to shreds. When she was sure he'd let go, was when she would jump out of the bed, blanket around her. Buffy knew the wound was deep. If she was an average mortal, she'd never be free of his hold and would need immediate medical attention for the damage done unto her. "What's wrong with you? Did I do it?"

"OW!" he yelled annoyed when her elbow hit his nose. He glared at her. He had been enjoying himself and now she had gone all macho on it. "What's wrong with you? Did I do it?" "Nothing's wrong with me." he snarled at her. "Not anymore. And no you didn't do it - the gypsies did it. Them and their stupid curses. You cured me babe. I have to thank you for that. Now what can I do. Oh yes, weeks of slow torment and constant rape before I finally turn you. And then killing everyone you love - yes that's a necessary ingredient. Wonder how long it will take you to go crazy? I spent six months on Dru - and look at the great job I did. Wonder if a slayer can last for a full year." Oh the look on her face was priceless now. "Oh, sorry - we haven't met, have we. Name's Angelus." Now he laughed, long and hard and cruel. "Man, those gypsies, what a loophole. All I needed was a good fuck - no wait, Angel fucked before he met you. Not a lot - part of his whole penance thing - but, he did fuck. Now what - oh, my god! He was in love with you! That was the ticket. Fuck a true love and bye bye soul boy - reenter the demon. Isn't it just rich?"

Buffy clutched the sheet as if it would be the thing to save her from the monster before her. How could he say this to her? Swallowing hard, she stepped back. The look her face twisted into that of horror. The rape went over her head. First impulses first. Family. Friends. They were the ones in danger. Buffy could handle her own. Even if she had to against; "Angelus?" Buffy whispered right after he introduced himself. "I..I don't understand." She was crying, trying to get at her clothes, but no point. The sheet would do for now. The blood from her breast was already starting to seep through the dark sheets. Letting the wetness shimmer in the dim lighting. It was daylight out. Wasn't it? "Don't touch me." She prewarned, backing away to the door slowly. Any sudden moves and he could attack. She had no weapon on her. Save for the cross that he had given her a year ago. Dangling from around her neck. "I'll get Angel back. Whoever you are.. He IS in there." Whatever Buffy understood of the curse was little. She wanted Angel back. He was the first person that she was going to go run to once out of here. Funny how irony worked. He was the one putting her in this situation. On the door knob her hand went. The door flung open, and the slayer was up the staircase in a flurry of bed sheets. The tears were there yet again. Her Angel was no more. The one she wanted to reach out for was the she she was reaching away from. The heavens were still weeping for the evil that had been born of the love of two souls.

( To be continued? Yes, if we get feedback. :P )