Entropy Re-played

Just suppose “Entropy” had gone a little different? What if Spike left before he tried to rape Buffy? What if Buffy was almost ready to love Spike... Where would that have left Buffy and Spike? This is my take.


My muse likes to play with timelines, as long as she has a good supply of chocolate and a *working* computer.

Hope you enjoy. ;) Az.

Entropy Re-played

"I am *not* telling my friends about us." She said angrily as she fought with the vampire in front of her.

"Right. I'll just be dropping him down to you then.". Spike said nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders. He was perched atop the wall holding a vampire by the back of it's jacket.

"You wanna tell 'em so badly? Go ahead. Know why? I tried to kill my friends, my sister, last week and guess how much they hate me? Zero. Zero much. So I'm thinking, sleeping with you... They'll deal." She fumed and turned away.

Buffy heard Spike drop the vamp and knew it was behind her.

"In that case, why won't you sleep with me again?" Spike asked. The young vampire turned around and stared incredioutsly at Spike.

Buffy slammed her stake into his back. She stared into Spike's eyes, as dust swirled around her. "Because I don't love you." Buffy said softly. She turned on her heal and walked away. ~ I can't. ~

"Like Hell." Spike murmured to himself. He jumped from his seat on the wall. He growled softly in frustration. "Bloody hell." He stalked off into the night.
~~~~~`

"No, that's just it, I tried everything, I tried every curse I knew, nothing's worked." Asaidsaid angrily.

"Wait. Did you try to curse him yourself?" Halfrek asked rolling her eyes.

"I am the wronged party here, of course I"

"You can't exact justice against someone on behalf of yourself, silly! How long you been away?" She giggled.

"I haven't been scorned by a man in, like, a thousand years. I never had to make a wish for myself. There has to be some way around that!"

"Well... You could try getting someone to make the wish for you. I suppose."
~~~~~`

"What's this?" He asked turning te oject over in his hands.

"It's a camera."

"Yeah, I got that part. Why am I holding it?" He questioned looking into her eyes.

"Someone was using it to spy on me. On my house. Xander thinks it's you." Buffy said, arms crossed, a no-nonsence expression on her face.

"Oh, greagreat Xander thinks so! Shudder gasp! It must be true!" Spike said angrily.

"Spike..." Buffy said softly.

"That ponce has always had it for me. Every chance he gets, he sticks it...You believe him, don't you? You think I was spying on you. You think I could do that?" Spike asked incredulous.

"Because you don't lie or cheat or steal or manipulate..." Buffy said softly.

"I don't hurt you." He quietly.

"I know."

"No, you don't. I've tried to make it clear to you, but you won't see it. Something happened to me. The way I feel... about you... It's different. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself it isn't. It's real."

"I think it is." She said gently. "For you." Buffy sighed softly. "I know that's not what you want to hear. I'm sorry. I really am. But, Spike, you *have* to move on. You have to get over..."

"Get out." He said seethingly.
~~~~~`

"No, they're all, oh, poor Xan it it took so much out of him, all that running away he did. I just don't understand what's wrong with these people!" She said unhappily.

"Did you really think they were the ones who would help you?" Halfrek asked.

"But..."

"Do you want retribution, Anyanka?" She asked.

"I want Xander good and cursed." Anya said determinedly.

"Then you know what you have to do." Halfrek said softly.

"Get a wish from someone who doesn't freaking love him."

"Exactly."

"Yeah, but my social circle is a little limited here, what am I supposed to do, just stumble upon someone who doesn't give a fig's ass if Xander gets hurt?" Anya questioned.

Both girls looked up startled as the bell above the door chimed. They both grinned. ~ Perfect!~
~~~~~`

Buffy limped into the dining room where Willow was at work on the computer. "So? Any trace of...anything?" Buffy asked.

"You ok Buff? Your kinda limping..." Xander questioned.

"Yeah I'm ok. Just had a good fight." She sighed and sat in one of the empty chairs. "Just a little sore. But i'm gonna go have a bubble bath in a litthilehile." She smiled brightly at the thought. "It'll take away all of the aches and pains."
~~~~~`

"So... what's your pleasure?" Anya asked smiling at the newcomer.

"Fresh of out of pleasure. That's why I'm here. I need something. Numbing spell, maybe?" He asked looking around.

"Uh huh. Hang on." She pulled Halfek to the side. "Oh my God, Spike hates Xander."

"This is a good chance to try." She picked up her coat and waved. "Well bye.Goodk wik with that... Ta ta!"

"Sorry to bust up the little girls' night out." Spike said nodding to the door through which Halfrek had left.

"That's okay. I'm ready to do some business." Anya smiled brightly.

"Right then. Got something that'll dull the ache a bit?" Spike asked sadly.
ctuactually, yes. Giles left a couple of supplies here, that I think just might help. Eases the hurt, makes the sun shine a little brighter, even makes boring people seem more interesting. Ah. Here." She said holding up a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Spike smiled.
~~~~~`


"...so then this girl says "real for *you*"" Spike sighed.

"Right, but getting back to Xander..." Anya said downing another shot.

"Xander. Let's not waste any more breath on that wanker..." Spike spat angrily.

"But he made a fool of me, and nobody seems to care enough to do anything." Anya said. Tears formed behind her eyes.

"I care. What he done to you? I never stooped that low, and I'm an "evil, soulless thing" according to some people..."

"But shouldn't he pay? Don't you wish he had to pay in some horrible way?" Anya asked. Her tears fell freely down her face.

"Absolutely. Take him on myself if it wasn't for my little handicap." Spike said indicating the chip.

"Right. So - hypothetically - what do you wish you could do to him?" Anya asked hopefully.

"You name it, pet. You're the wronged party. Something gruesome, how 'bout?" He pulled her back and she rested against him.
~~~~~`

Willow stared at the screen. "I think I got the Magic Box...Whoa!"

~~~~~`

"Oh my God." Johnathan shrieked.

"Is that the cam in the Magic Box?" Warren asked, he stepped closer to get a better look.

"Oh my God." Johnathan said again.

"What are they... oh." Andrew said softly.

"Is that...?" Warren started to say.

"Spike." Johnathan cut him off.
~~~~~`


"Wait, Xander, no." She said trying to block him. She didn't want him to over react.

"Oh, God." He moaned seeing Anya, leaning so casually against Spike.

"I...what is she...Will can you get sound?" He stammered.

"Willow turned to Buffy and saw the hurt look cro crossed her face. "Buffy?"

"That's..." She had tears in her eyes.

Xander turned to look at her and was shocked. He saw the pain he felt mirrored on Buffy's face, she couldn't take her eyes off the monitor. He turned to look back at the screen.

"Here, lemme just... You know, we aren't even really sure what we were just seeing here, there could be something...." Willow stammered. She quickly got the sound going. "See...there..."
~~~~~`

had had her back against Spike's chest. She had her head tilted back and to the side, their lips gently brushing together.

Spike broke the kiss and gently pushed her away. "I can't...All I can think of is Buffy we can’t do this to her and to Xander, I know we’re both hurt...But you have to talk to him...and I have to talk to her."

Spike picked up his duster and shrugged it on. "Anya the whelp loves you. This here tonight was about the drinks and being hurt. Don't confuse the two. Trust in that and you will work it out." Spike turned on his heel.

Anya sighed as the door chimed signaling his departure.
~~~~~`


"Buffy...I"...

"She loves you. You know that. Anya was just... she was hurting. She was hurting and she did this really stupid thing."

"With your boyfriend." Xander accused.

"He's not my boyfriend." Buffy rolled her eyes. ~ Much as I want him to be. ~

"I know why Anya... I understand, I do. But you... All those times I told Spike to get lost, that he didn't have a chance with a girl like you..."

"You don't know how hard it's been." Buffy said softly.

"What, lying to me?" he asked angrily.

"*Being* here. After I was brought back... You have no idea how hard it is just being here." Buffy said as salty tears twin paths down her cheeks.

"You could have told me."

"You didn't want to know." She whispered. Buffy closed her eyes and sighed softly.

"So you went to *him* instead?" He asked disgusted.

"Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business." She said wiping angrily at her tears.

"It used to be." He murmured.

"It just happened, okay." She said walking past him.

"Oh, like, "Say, you're evil. Get on me."?" Xander lashed out.

"You fought side by side with him when I was gone. *You* let him take care of Dawn..." Buffy shouted angrily turning to face him.

"But I never forgot what he really is. God, what were you thinking?" He asked.

"You're asking *me* that? Oh, 'cause your decision making skills have *really* sparkled lately." Buffy fumed.

"I'm not saying I didn't made mistakes. But last time I checked, slaughtering half of pe wpe wasn't one of 'em. He doesn't have a soul, Buffy. Just some leash they jammed in his head. You think he'd still be all snuggles if that chip ever stopped working? Would you still trust him with Dawn then?" Xander questioned.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not seeing him anymore. It's over." She said determinedly.

"Yeah. Lot of that going around." Xander said angrily. He slamed the door shut on his way out of the kitchen.
~~~~~`

"Things fall apart, they fall apart so hard..." Tara said softly leaning against the door.

"Tara?" Willow quetioned.

"You can't ever... put 'em back the way they were..." She continued as if uninterupted.

"Are you okay?" Willow questioned rising from the bed.

"I'm sorry, it's just...you know it takes time. You can't just... have coffee and expect..." She sighed softly.

"I know." Willow said softly eyes downcast.

"There's just so much to work through. Trust has to build again, on both sides...you have to learn if... if we're even the same people we were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and ... can we just skip it? Can you... can you just be kissing me now?" Tara asked looking deep into Willow's eyes.

Seconds later their bodies met in a lust filled embrace.
~~~~~`

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but I promised her I wouldn't." Tara smiled sheepishly.

"Does everybody else know? Am I the only one she didn't..." Willow trailed off.

"God, no! She didn't even mean to tell me. It just came out." Tara said wrapping Willow in a soothing embrace.

"How could she hide something like this from me?" Willow asked. ~ I'm supposed to be her best friend. ~

"I think she was afraid of the look you'd get on your face. Kinda like the one you're wearing now."

"Oh no, I'm not -- I'm just trying to understand." Willow said sadly.

"So is she." Tara said softly. ~~~~~~~~`

Buffy leaned in and adjusted the temerature of the water. She dropped in her vanilla scented bath beads and sprinkled in some soothing sea salts.

~ Mmmm Heven. ~ She sighed limping to he sink. She looked at her self in the miror and made a face.

Buffy grabbed the brush and ran it through her hair. She turned quickly when the door began to open.

She glared at the bleached head poking in as she went to shut off the tap.

"Are you hurt? you're not moving so well..." Spike asked, concern for her etched on his face.

"Get out." She said turning her back to him.

"We have to talk."

"I really don't." She siad angrily.

"Well, this isn't just about you...as much you'd like it to be. Spike said shutting the door and siting on the toilet seat."

"You spoke. I listened. Now leave." She ground out through her teeth.

"I'm sorry. Not that it matters anymore. But I needed you to know that." Spike said sincerly.

"Why?"

"'cause I care about you." Spike said softly.

"Spike...They all know about us...And why were you kissing Anya? Were you going to sleep with one of my friends to get back at me?" She asked jealousy dripping from her words.

"I didn't go to Anya for that. I was looking for a spell." Spike said exasperated.

"You were going to use a spell on me?" She asked incrediously.

"It wasn't for you! *I* wanted something...anything to make this feeling stop. I just wanted it to stop!" Spike said forcefully. "You should have just dusted me." He said with tears in his eyes.

"I couldn't do that." She closed her eyes. ~ Can't watch him cry. ~ She thought determined not to give in to her emotions. ~ I've done it before! And where has it gotten me? Heartbreak. No way. Forget it. ~

"Why?" Spike asked.

"You know why." Buffy said softly. ~ Because I need you. ~

"Because you love me." He said smugly.

"No! I don't." She vehnemently denied.

"Why do you keep lying to yourself?" He questioned.

"How many times...!? I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never *trust* you enough for it to be love." She growled. ~ You have no soul! ~

"Great love is wild and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes." Spike whispered, trying to draw her closer.

"Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last." Buffy closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. ~ As long as I feel it at my back I know I won't give in. To Him. His voice. ~

"I know you feel like I do. You don't have to hide it anymore." Spike said softly, stalking closer to her "Everyone knows Buffy...they'll get used to it. They'll have no choice."

"Spike, please, stop this..." She pleaded, tears welling in her eyes. ~ I'm not strong enough. What if I had to kill you? I couldn't and people would die. Again because of my love life. No it's better this way. ~

"Let yourself feel it..." He whispered leaning in and kissing her softly on the mouth. Buffy felt wetness seeping into her panties even as her mind desperatly wated to stop it.

Buffy pressed her hand flat against the wall at her back. ~ Stop. I can't. They'd never forgive me for falling in love with you. ~ She thought urgently, as she tried to will her arms not to pull him closer. "No..."

"You love me..." He pressed his body against her. ~ I can smell how much you want me. ~

"No. I want you to leave." Buffy said feeling her body mold itself against him.

"I want to prove to you I’ve changed." Spike said softly. ~ I want to how you I can be a good man. ~

"No leave Spike. Please can’t you see how much this is hurting me?" Buffy asked, tears decending slowly down her cheeks. ~ I want you so much I can't stand it. But I can't have you. ~

Spike's eyes locked on hers. He saw the uncertainty and unwilingness in her eyes. He pulled his body away from hers and leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips one las time. Spike cupped her chin in his hand and pulled her gaze up to meet his.

"Good bye Elisabeth Anne." He whispered.

Buffy blinked and before She could react Spike was gone. ~ Maybe he did get that spell from Anya after all. ~

She was stunned to realize how much it hurt to hear him say those words to her. It felt like someone was shoving hot ashes in her dry throat, peircing her heart with a sword. Ripping her apart peice by peice.

Buffy locked the bathroom door and got into the tub. She shook with silent sobs. ~ Why couldn't I just tell him? ~ She wondered.
~~~~~`

"Um... knock knock? I was just in the neighborhood and so I thought, you know, there's a Nightrider marathon on the TV, so... I got Hot Wings!" Clem said brightly stepping into Spike's crypt.

"What have I done? Why...? What has she done to me?"

"She-done who? Oh. The Slayer, huh? Gosh. She break up with you again?" Clem asked sympetheticly.

"We were never together. Not really. She never lower herself that far." Spike growled.

"She's a sweet girl, Spike, but hey. Issues. And no wonder, with the whole coming back from the grave and whatnot. I had this cousin, who got resurrected by some kooky shaman...who-boy! Was that a mess!"

"Why do I feel this way?" Spike asked.

"Love's a funny thing." Clem shrugged. "Hey. Come on now, Mr. Negative. You never know what's just around the corner. Things change."

"They do." Spike agreed. "If you make them."
~~~~~`

TBC...If you like? ;) Az.