A Very Ordinary Evil

Title: A Very Ordinary Evil
Author:Saladin
Rating: NC-17 (US) R (Aus)
Pairing:Wi/Sp
Disclaimer:All the BtVS characters and the locale of Sunnydale are owned by Joss and the other usual suspects. If I owned 'em they'd stay in my toybox *grin*
Distribution:Bite Me, please, Soulmates, Fever of Fate, Near Her Always The Adult Willow Fanfic Archive and Willows Ripper if they want it, anyone else, just ask -- hell, it's a first attempt, how likely am I to say no?
Feedback: Is wonderful and is also frighteningly addictive. "I'm STILL not satisfied!" Tom Lehrer, fr "Smut" 1965
Author's notes: 1) Spike will sling the bat more than usual in this piece. ie use more and a greater variety of Pommie slang 2) The point of divergence is 5.06 "Family" Tara elects to return home. 3) all thoughts are enclosed in { } 4) Thanks as always to My bodacious beta slave, karen for her untiring work to help Me.


Part 1 – Fencing and flirting


“… Black Naughty Evil?” Spike looked at Willow uncomprehendingly for a moment. Then he began to laugh. Not just normal laughter, but genuine roaring belly laughs. He grasped his stomach, doubled over as blood tears rolled down his cheeks. His finger wagged at her as he continued to laugh. “Only you, Red, only you!”

Willow looked somewhat offended at his reaction, although, to herself, she had to admit that her precise terminology was rather … fatuous. Slowly, she began to giggle herself, imagining the reaction of the Lord of Darkness to being called ‘naughty’.

What had started as yet another vamp-sitting and research exercise had evolved into a genuine conversation, and eventually to the sharing of confidences. It was perhaps not surprising. After the time they had spent together the previous year, with Spike talking to Willow about Oz, and Willow commiserating with Spike over the implanted chip, a certain bond had developed between the two. On this occasion, Willow had initially made a reference to Hansel and Gretel being a demon, and then had to explain it for Spike.

Spike eventually gained control of himself and looked at a still giggling Willow. “Well, Red,” he said teasingly, “when you call on the powers of darkness you don’t stop halfway do you? Not just evil, but naughty too!”

Willow looked slightly offended, gathered herself together and decided on some fun of her own as payback. “You’d probably be able to tell me this Spike, being a fully fledged, card carrying member of the demon gang.”

“Tell you what Red? And what do you mean card carrying? It’s not like we’re a bloody Union.”

“Are all vampires programmed to lust after slayers, or is it just something about Buffy?” Willow smiled sweetly as she asked the question.

“Pet, that was pure bitch. Y’know, I think I rather like it when you do that.” The statement on his face seemed to indicate otherwise though. Willow knew she’d scored heavily. “It’s really something I’d rather not talk about, and I’ve come to my senses now anyway.”

“Sure,” Willow replied, her tone carrying a heavy load of sarcasm.

Spike looked at her. Anger and indecision warring on his face. The indecision cleared, to be replaced by something else. If Willow didn’t know better, she would have thought she was seeing nervousness there. But what could make Spike nervous? Well, she thought, other than trying to bite someone.

“You don’t know much about Drusilla, do you. I mean, other than the fact that she was a few bricks shy of a full hod, and Angelus turned her after making her a Bedlam regular.”

Willow looked rather confused at the non sequiteur, to say nothing of Spike’s British slang, but decided to go with the flow of the conversation and work out the meanings from what he’d said. “I suppose I don’t really. Although I could tell that before she was … changed, she would have been very beautiful. And that you loved her. I assume you still do.”

Spike smiled softly. “No, I don’t love her now, Red. I used to though. She was always an absolute stunner though, both before and after she was turned. That’s not what I wanted to tell you though. Before she was driven bonkers by that poof, she was a genius. I mean precisely that, a genius. She was also shy, modest and selfless. I may be an evil bastard, but I’ve never been psychotic like my bloody grandsire.”

Willow was confused. “Spike,” she asked, “how can you possibly know what Drusilla was like before she was turned. She sired you.”

Spike smiled gently as he answered. “Do you remember how Dru got the Watcher to reveal to Peaches the correct way to summon Acathla?” Willow nodded as Spike continued. “She can do other things with that power of hers too. She killed that slayer by hypnotising her iimmoimmobility as she slashed her; she can also project her own memories into others. I saw and felt who she was, before Angelus saw her, she made me feel her descent into insanity and her being turned. I know Drusilla in a way no-one else ever could. I also know, intimately, the monstrousness of what Angelus did to her. She told me that it was so I’d know who he really was, how it felt, who I could and couldn’t trust. It’s one of the reasons I hate him so bloody much.” Spike paused reflectively, head bowed, then looked sadly back up at Willow. “That’s the woman I loved for over a hundred years, pet. Does she sound anything like your chum the slayer?”

Willow looked stunned. She’d just learned more about Drusilla in sixty seconds than the rest of the gang had in the last three years. “Err … no, now that you mention it, she doesn’t. I suppose you’d want a change after that long though. I mean, a century of her … ”

Spike grinned as he interrupted with another question, “Who does Drusilla sound most like in your little gang?”

Willow blinked. She was lost now, Dru was a vampire, and the only vampires she knew were Spike and Angel. Spike could see her confusion, so he pressed on, patiently making it clearer for her. “Drusilla, before she went mad, was a genius; shy, modest, selfless and innocent. She always thought of the welfare of others before her own. Now, think of all the members of your little club. Which one of them is most like Dru?”

“Ummmmm … Giles, I suppose. He’s certainly the cleverest of us.”

Spike’s eyes rolled upwards {I know she’s intelligent. Why can’t she take the hint? I’ve just about clobbered her with a sledgehammer}. He gave up and said directly, “It’s you luv. You’re the one who reminds me of Dru. Her better qualities at least”

Willow’s jaw dropped. She looked stunned, unable to say anything. A moment later, she managed to force out “Me?” in a high pitched squeak.

Spike grinned at her, wolfishly. “Yes pet, you. You’re by far the most intelligent member of your little pack of fearless vampire killers. You’re also the most giving, the most compassionate, the most selfless. Look at it objectively. You’re the first one who released me from constantly being tied up – and that can get old very quickly, believe me. Every time someone else has been hurting, you’ve been there for them. But, both last year, when puppy boy left …” Willow shuddered “What’s wrong luv?” Spike asked, worried that he’d somehow hurt her, as the shudder was one of purest horror.

“It’s a long story, nothing to do with Oz, but please, please never ever refer to anyone I know as a puppy.”

Spike’s curiosity was piqued about that, but he decided to wait before following it up. {Later} he thought. He quickly gathered his thoughts and continued. “All right then. Both last year, when your boyfriend left, and earlier this year when Tara went home to her family, the rest of your gang have ignored you, told you to ‘get over it’, to ‘move on’. I know you spent months listening to Slutty wail on about losing Peaches, breaking up with Action Man and the ongoing tragedy that is the slayer’s sex life, or her lack of one. Does she give you the same courtesy? No, she tells you to ‘deal’, ‘get over it’, to ‘move on.’ It’s selfishness luv, pure and simple.”

Willow was surprised, she thought that she had been the only one to notice that aspect of her friendship with Buffy. She’d been aware from the first few days after she’d met Buffy that she, not Buffy, would be doing most of the giving in this relationship. “Spike, she’s the slayer. She’s got more important things to worry about than the love lives of her friends.”

Spike fixed her with his gaze as he asked “Do you really believe that, or are you saying it to ease and hide the anger and pain that you’re feeling?”

Willow was again taken aback. She had never realised exactly how perceptive Spike was, until now. He saw the group dynamics very clearly, perhaps too clearly for her complete peace of mind. It certainly explained his survival when Buffy had killed so many other vampires. He’d been defeated but never destroyed. That said something as well.

Spike stepped forward and took her hands in his. “Red,” Spike murmured, looking directly into her eyes, “you’re the only human who’s ever shown me the slightest consideration, the only one who’s ever treated me as anything but a monster. Yes, I’m a demon. I know this. In fact I enjoy it, but there’s more to me than that.” Spike stopped and took an unneeded breath. “You’re the only human who’s ever seen that. Many years ago, I thought Dru did as well, but she changed, she moved further into her madness and away from reality. It was like she was running from something intolerable.” {Marvellous, you great ponce!} Spike thought, {back to bloody awful poetry and purple prose. What’s even worse is that I don’t bloody care.}

Willow was at a loss once again. What was Spike saying, or insinuating? She couldn’t quite work it out.

“Spike, I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. I don’t know if I’m having a dumb day or if Shaw was right.” Spike chuckled, appreciating the literary allusion. “Damn it luv, it’s perfectly simple I’m saying that … ”

The door slammed open as the rest of the Scoobies returned from their patrol. “Nothing!” yelled Buffy to the unasked question that both Willow and Spike had been about to pose. “It’s quieter out there than a … a … damn, I don’t have a clue what, but it’s very very quiet.”

Spike seethed, having come so close to expressing himself, the tension left was unbearable. He reacted. “So, it’s quieter than a slayer having a temper tantrum then?”

Willow giggled, then tried to look contritely at Buffy.

Buffy flared at the insult “Spike, I’ve seen you when you haven’t got into a fight, and don’t try to tell me I’m worse than you”

Spike grinned malevolently and looked back at Buffy. “As you keep on reminding us all, I’m a demon. You’re the Slayer. Aren’t you meant to react differently than your enemies?”

Buffy blinked, processing what Spike had just said, and Giles took the opportunity to interject. “Enough!” he snapped.

They all looked up, shocked at Giles assertiveness. “Good, now that I have your attention, I’ll explain what we’ll do. Buffy, take Willow home, the rest of you, clear off. Now, Willow, if you can spare the time tomorrow, could you help research and keep Spike company during the day?”

“Sure,” Willow answered, her tummy fluttering.

* * *

Willow’s mind was whirling as she and Buffy walked to Willow’s parents’ house in companionable silence. Why had Spike asked those questions of her, what was he hinting at. She found the vampire strangely compelling; and was uncertain whether that was good or bad. She had to admit, that visually he was gorgeous, and did extremely bad things to her hormones, but it wasn’t that simple. The only thing keeping him from attacking them, possibly killing them, was the chip in his head. But he understood devotion, commitment, love in a way no-one else seemed to, he’d referred to Drusilla for the first time in over a year; and compared her to Drusilla; and only Drusilla’s good points at that. And she could look at him for hours. But why? That’s what she couldn’t understand. Unless … no, that was just too foolish to contemplate, she thought. He couldn’t. Oh! What she wouldn’t give to be able to … No girl, down! Stop thinking that, you’ll get all spaz! Spaz! Great! Now I’m back in a high school mindset! Damn! That’s proof enough. I’ve got a crush on him. Can I pick ‘em or what?

“What are you thinking about Wills?” Buffy asked, she was used to her friend being quiet, but she also seemed somewhat preoccupied.

Willow blushed as she responded with a squeaky “Nothing.”

Buffy chuckled to herself “Willow’s having bad girl thoughts about someone. Thing is, after Oz and Tara, it could be anyone.”