Sunnydale General Hospital

Buffy's ponytail bobbed, swinging jauntily as she listened to her new supervisor describe the duties her job as a Patient Escort entailed. She nodded her head at what she felt were appropriate intervals. She wasn't really listening; she was busy thinking about Spike. Her glazed over eyes brightened when she spotted him.


"Remember to put the used masks and gowns in the contaminated bins, *not* the used linens bin. . ."

"May I take a break?"

Nonplussed the supervisor looked at her watch. "Well, You've only been here twenty minutes and we still have a-"


Buffy grinned, cutting her off. "Thanks! Be back in a jiff!" She rushed to Spike and hugged him "You came to visit me on my first day at work! God Spike, you are so *sweet*."

Spike patted her back awkwardly. She couldn't see the pained expression on his face. When she snuggled her small body closer to his and rubbed her cheek against his chest he gripped her shoulders, squeezing them briefly for a moment, before pushing her away. He gazed into her eyes.

"What is it, Spike? Something's wrong, isn't it?"

Spike looked away, biting his lip. "Buffy. . ." he looked back at her. "Buffy, we need to talk. Is there someplace we can go?"

Buffy gasped. "What is it? Tell me!"

Spike shook her a bit. "Not. . .I can't talk about it. . . not *here*, Buffy. Can we go somewhere? Some place else?"
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Devon was pouting prettily, yet, even as pretty as the pout was, pain clearly etched his features. "That's it? Nothing else? You lead me on and. . .you just. . .this is. . ." He began to sob.

"Devon." Xander put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't you *touch* me!" He wrenched violently away. "How *could* you? I thought we *meant* something to each other! I thought you *loved* me!" His voice caught on a sob.

"Devon. . ."

"No! You've spoken, Xander! It's *my* turn now! How *dare* you? How dare *you* do this to *me*?" He thumped his chest. "Oh, *god* Xander! I've thought of nothing but you since we both started working here!" His gaze went faraway for a moment, as if trying to wonder when *exactly* that was, but it quickly returned to one of pained betrayal. "You were my everything! Your smell, your taste, that panicked look on your face you get when you're told you have to do a transvaginal pelvic sonogram! I want you so! I *need* you! Xander! I need to be with you . . ." Devon reached blindly for Xander, his vision blurred by tears.

Xander grabbed him by the lapels of his white coat and shook him. "Stop it! It's over! No more! Do you understand?" He shook him again.

"No! It *can't* be!"

"It *is*." Xander's face was cold and uncompromising. Devon looked at it and something inside died.

You could tell that from the look on Devon's face.

"You're so cold, Xander. Cold and alone." He sniffed and straighted his coat. "Fine. Be alone, Xander! It's what you *deserve*."

Xander's face changed to one of indifference and he checked his watch. "Guy? It was just that *one* date."

Devon gasped, cut to the quick. "I'm outta here! *You* can cover my shift!" He narrowed his eyes. "It's *OB*!" With that he turned and stormed out of the room.

Devon didn't see the tear that rolled down Xander's cheek as he clenched his hands into fists and shoved them into the roomy and highly functional pockets of his seemingly tailor made white coat. Nor did Devon see Xander's jaw clench and work attractively as he watched Devon walk out of his life.
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Buffy shut the door to the break room and reached to lock it. There was no lock, so she grabbed a mop and shoved the handle through the door's handles.

"Now! Tell me, Spike!"

Spike paced the room. He stopped at a coffee vending machine. "French Vanilla," he read reaching into his pocket. "Fancy a cup, pet?"

"Tell me! Just tell me what's wrong, Spike. Stop toying with me, please. I can't take this."

Spike put in forty-five cents and waited, his face pensive. After the cup dropped and he quickly tilted it up right so that it could catch the spurt of coffee and it filled he took a sip. His face cleared, becoming pleased. "Hey, this ain't too bad." He read the cards on the cup. "And I have two pair, jacks high! Sure you don't want a cuppa?"

"SPIKE!" Buffy sobbed on a wail as she looked at him.

"Oh, yeah," His face went back to it's mask of resignation and pain. He moved to one of the tables and pulled out a chair. "Sit down, luv."

Buffy sat, fisting her hands on top of the table. "Just tell me, Spike.

"I got some news today. . ."

"No! Oh, *no*! Oh, god, not *news*!"

Spike's scarred brow kicked up for a second before the mask of pain and resignation came back. He placed his hands over hers. He gazed at her as if in thought. And then he gazed at her as if his thoughts had crystallized and he'd come to some sort of decision. "Buffy. We can't see each other any longer. It's over."


Silence. Buffy's face isn't a mask of, well, anything. Her voice . "Come again?"

"It's over."

"Over. As much as you've been trying to get me to fall in love with you? As *long* as you've been trying to get me to fall in love with you? And I *do* and you say its over?" There was deadly intent in her voice now.

"Um, yeah. Over."

"Why?"

"No reason. Just deal with it, pet. It's over." His voice was firm and he removed his hands from hers.

"There has *got* to be a reason, Spike. There is *always* a reason to leave me."

Spike sunk in his cheeks and pursed his lips. "Well not *always*, pet. There *was* that Parker fellow."

"Now, now, calm down, pet." Spike gasped out.

Spike was on his back across the table, Buffy's forearm across his throat and the broken mop handle was in her other hand and poised above his heart.

"Yer right, pet! Of course there's a reason! I just didn't want you to know! Let me up and I'll tell you."

"Yeah, right. You men are all alike!" She nudged his coat out of the way and dug the mop handle into his shirt. "*Especially* you *dead* men! Make Buffy fall in love. Break Buffy's heart! What is it? Heart envy? Mine's beating so you have to do your best to break it? Huh? Is that it? Why shouldn't I just dust you right now?"

"Buffy! Pet! Baby! Ow!"

The shirt ripped and the handle drew blood.

"To break your heart is to break my own! Buffy, I never wanted to do that to you! And I *did* want us to be together! But we can't! We *never* can!"

"Why, damn you? *Why*?"

"You're my *childe*!"

"No!" The mop handle fell to the floor and Buffy fell to Spike's chest sobbing.

The door opened and several nurses walked in. "Oh, good lord." One snipped as they turned away to leave. "This place is like General Fucking Hospital at night, I tell you. Let's talk about our plan to over throw Guam in room D8 666. That Anya chic is in a total coma."
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Tara, the chief ultrasound technologist, looked up in surprise as Xander walked into the room. "Hi, Xan. I thought Devon was working tonight."

Xander grimaced at her and then looked away. When he faced her again he was smiling. "Devon had. . .he had to leave early. I'm covering."

Tara rushed to him, ignoring the several months pregnant, vaginally bleeding woman with a full bladder on the table waiting for her emergency sonogram. Tara hugged him. "Oh, *Xander*! Why didn't you just *tell* him? It's nothing to be ashamed of!"

Xander hugged her back for a brief moment, before pushing away and looking severe and manly. "Isn't it? Are *you*?" Tara blushed and looked away. "No, of course I'm not. But if I *was* I wouldn't be ashamed! I wouldn't try and hide it! I'd-" "Does it matter? You aren't and I am and I didn't tell Devon and he's gone and I'm alone."

"I'm gonna *pee*!" The woman on the table screamed.

"No! You *can't*!" Both Xander and Tara screamed at her. "You need a full bladder for this procedure!"
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"Your *childe*, Spike? It *can be! be! I'm Hank and Joyce's baby girl!"

The door opened again and Buffy's supervisor walked in. "Ms. Summers? You really *have* to get back to-"

Buffy back flipped off of Spike and landed with her back against the door. She shoved it closed and slid the mop handle through the door's handles once again. "You *mind*? Emotional crisis and unknown before this day secrets about to be revealed! Hello! Little privacy!"

"*Joyce's* baby girl, to be sure, pet, but *not* Hank's!" Spike shook his head. "*My* baby girl!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"*How*?"

"I'll *tell* you!"

"Do, please!"

"Okay!" Spike went back to the coffee machine. "Ready for one? It's a long story, pet."

Buffy went back to the table and sat down. "Okay. Mocha."

Spike brought back two steaming paper cups. Buffy had a pair of jacks but he had a diamond straight, 2 to 6. He smirked as he set the cups down.

"Looks like I won, pet."

"Your *childe*, Spike?"

"Oh, yeah, that." Spike took a sip of vending machine, but very tasty, French Vanilla coffee. "There was this bloke, few years back. Ephram, Ether, Ethan, something poofy and E sounding, see, and he had this demon sperm bank. Had 'em all over the place! 'Course I never paid no mind, but I noticed 'em, I did. Everywhere we went there'd be a demon sperm bank!" Spike paused, taking several sips of coffee and avoiding Buffy's gaze.

"Tell me! Finish the story, damn you!"

"Yeah, okay. So anyway, one night, Dru was out and I was bored and we were in the city. Um, Los Angeles, that is, and I'm pub hopping and I see one again. So I go in. I sign in. I read the literature. Well, I skim through it that is to say, I'm not really paying attention, I'm just thinking I'll get to watch free porn and have to jack off into a cup. No big deal."

Buffy sobbed, heartbreaking sobs.

"There, there, pet. Hush. Let poppa finish his story, yeah?"

Buffy sobbed louder, at the poppa reference.

"*Any*way. This pretty bloke with bee stung lips and long hair came out and ushered me into a room with a large machine. He asked me some questions.are you a vampire? How long has your unlife been? Do you know your sire? Do you know your sire's sire? Do you know your line? Have you ever seen a slayer? Ever slayed a slayer? Do you know what watcher's are? That sorta stuff. Stuff that *wasn't* on the general questionnaire, let me tell you, otherwise I'da been out of that place! Then he tells me to drop trou and get on the table. Just like that! Didn't even tell me I was cute!"

Buffy shuddered but didn't say anything.

"But then. . ." Spike's eyes took on a faraway look. "But then he hooks me up to *her*. She was like this *suction* thing, but not *just* suction! She had a *probe*. For prostate stimulation, you know. *God*. She was *perfect*."

"Spike! How does this make me your *childe*? If you're lying to me I'm gonna do stuff to you that can't even be shown on SHOWTIME let alone HBO. Let's forget *network*!"

"Huh? Oh, yes, you. Well anyway. Seems they took my dead sperm, radiated it, electrocuted it and implanted it into the fertile egg of one Joyce Summers. Seem's ole Hank Summers was shooting blanks and Joyce wanted a little nipper bad enough to visit a sperm bank. you see? Yer my baby girl. My childe."

"But I'm the *slayer*. You *can't* be my father!"

"Yeah! That's the kicker! That's how the Watcher's have been making slayers since the 1940's. One day a slayer got offed and *nothing* happened. No new slayer. So they decided to start *engineering* them. Crafty little buggers! Decided to take vampire DNA and mix it with human DNA and bam! Slayers! Kinda neat, yeah?"

"Oh, god! I'm the unloved, unwanted, bastard childe of a vampire and a machine!" Buffy wailed, after a sip of surprisingly good mocha coffee.

Spike slapped her across the face. "Don't you *ever* say that again! Your mother *loved* you and I loved that machine with *every*thing in me! I've never met another machine like her! The suction! That probe! There'll *never* be another like her and you come from your mother and *her*! We may not be the ideal, but we are what you have and you come from *love*! Don't you *ever* forget that again, Buffy Anne Summers!" Spike stood, his chest heaving with passion.

"Oh god, daddy, I'm sorry!" Buffy rushed into his open arms, accepting the hug and returning it. "I know you love me! And I know mom loved me! And I've got to get back to work!"

Spike rubbed her back. "Yes. You get back to work. I'm gonna just roam the hospital for a bit."

"Okay. Maybe you'll come to dinner later? We can, I don't know, catch up on father daughter stuff? I'll make blood sausage and blood pudding. Blood stuff. Tell Dawn you're my dad, so sorta *her* dad."

Spike sucked in his cheeks and pursed his lips. "We'll do that. Now you get to work, kiddo."
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Spike was roaming the halls of Sunnydale General Hospital looking for blood when he made his way to the Ultrasound rooms. He spied a large machine in one of the rooms. The look of her! So big and bulky, so many tubes and gadgets and plugs. Could it be? He slipped into the room, closing the door behind him. He picked up the huge vaginal probe. "Alas, but no. Not my girl."

"Who's there? Devon?" The curtain pulled back, revealing a puffy eyed, tear-trail cheek stained Xander. "You! What are you doing here, Spike?"

Spike sucked in his cheeks and pursed his lips. Spike looked. "Xander?" A world of meaning was in that look. That name. Xander swung his legs over so he was sitting up on the exam table. "What are you *doing* here, Spike?"

"I don't. . .I'm not sure. . .I don't *know*. Looking for *you*?"

"Me?" It was hopeful, but then Xander glanced into the tray of the machine and he saw *them*. He laughed, bitterly. "Not me. Anyone but *me*."

"No! It *is* you I came in search of! I thought it was just to tell Buffy she was my kid, but I could have waited until she got off work, so something must have brought me here! *You* Xander! You brought me here!"

"Buffy's your *what*?"

"Never mind that! Xander! Make love to me! Here! Now!"

"You mean it? Can I? Right here, right now? Yes! I want you! Lets!"

Spike threw off his coat and began to unbuckle his belt. Xander had his stylishly tailored white coat half off when he caught site of those mocking things once again.

"No! I *can't*. We mustn't!"

Spike snarled. "Beg pardon? You don't get to tease vampires. You think my *girl* has a bad temper? Try messin' with her Da!"

Tara popped her head into the room and smiled comfortingly at Xander. "*Tell* him, Xander. He'll understand." She popped back out again. "Threesome? I can understand that just fine." Spike grinned.

"No. It's not that. It's just that I'm, well, I have a. . ." Xander rushed to the machine and picked up the vaginal probe.

"Big open passage? That's okay ducks, I got a big dick."

"No! I have a. . ."
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Nurse Willow shut the door, checked the pulse, heartbeat, and blood pressure of the patient. She looked at her co conspirators. "Can you say spinach?"

"Um, yeah, sure. Spinach."

Willow glared at her. "It was rhetorical. I was referring to the vegetative state of the rooms occupant. Never mind that! It's Guam we're here to talk about, and our plan to take it over!"

"Oh, yes. Let's plan."

Unnoticed by the others in the room, the heart and brain monitors began to beep.

Ominously.
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"You have a *what*? Spike demanded to know, jeans pooled at his ankles, hand reaching for the handy tube of k-y jelly.

Xander picked up a condom from the machines tray and held it aloft. His head went down in shame. "I have a LATEX ALLERGY! ANAL MAN LOVE CAN NEVER BE FOR ME!"

"No!"

"Yes! I went to the dentist and he only touched my cheek while latex gloved and I got *blisters*. So I went for the test. And it was *positive*. I'm latex intolerant. That's why I had to break up with Devon!"

"Who?"

"Devon! The OB tech I've been involved with for. . .um. . .a day?"

Spike moved close to Xande quickly as his pants around his ankles would allow. He wrapped the bigger man in his arms. "That doesn't matter to me, Xander."

Xander sobbed in his arms. "How can it *not* Spike? How *can* it not?"

Spike held Xander and let him cry as he undid Xander's belt and pants. He moved Xander to the table so that Xander was on his belly, on the table, and still crying but ass open and ready. "There, there, Xanpet." Spike used the KY to lube up two fingers and thrust them into Xander's opening.

"No! I *told* you! I can't be breached! Not without protection! I won't die for a fuck!"

Spike climbed over him. "Hush, sweet Xander. You forget. I'm safe. I'm dead. No need for nasty latex to come between us! We can be together!" Spike pushed in. . .

And Xander pushed back. . .

And it was heaven! It was all! They became one being. One being half latex intolerant, the other half latex unneeded.

One whole.