Spiritgasms

Spiritgasms
Author: Pattyanne
Feedback: Yes, please
Disclaimer: I do not own the BtVS
characters and make no profit from
the story.
Rating: NC-17

Summary: Spike has passed from this
world but hasn't moved on to the next. He's
given an opportunity to return and try again,
but will he take it?

Part: One




“In the cool of the evening
when everything is getting kind of groovy.
I call you up and ask you if you want
to go with me and see a movie.
First you say “no”, you’ve got some
plans for the night,
and then you stop, and say all right
Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’ve been here long enough, you know. Sooner or later
you’ll have a decision to make.”

Spike stretched out on the warm sand, his body soaking in all the
glorious heat of the sun that it had been denied for so many decades.

Sighing deeply, he turned and faced his guide. “Look, Pet...I’ve told
you nine ways from bloody Sunday. I’m NOT going back. Why should
I? I like it here just fine.”

He gestured expansively with one hand, encompassing all the beautiful
scenery around him...the ocean in front of him, the forest behind him,
and the pristine white sand underneath him.

“D’ya have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve sat on a beach during
the day? Well, I’ll tell you...never. I’ve never sat on a beach during
the day. Not once in my entire bloody existence.”

Tucking his hands behind his head, he closed his eyes again. “Now,
be a good little spirit helper and shove off. I’m trying to get a tan.”

Melisande stood up and glared at him, hands on her hips. “And THAT’S
another thing! You have GOT to put some clothes on! There have
been complaints!”

Spike chuckled. “Liar.”

“I BEG your pardon!” The guide drew herself up to her full height
of four feet and five inches and looked at him, insulted to her very
core. “I have never told a lie in my life! YOU, on the other hand...”

“Yeah, yeah...I know. You already went over all my bad habits when
I got here. Give it a rest, will ya?”

She was silent for exactly thirty seconds.

“I’m supposed to talk to you about it again.”

“ARRGGHH!” Spike jumped to his feet and headed for the water line. “I
already told you...I’m NOT going back! Why can’t you lot take go-to-hell
for an answer?”

Melisande clapped her hands over her ears. ‘I have told you repeatedly,”
she hissed, following after him, “do NOT use the ‘H’ word around here. It’s
a very touchy subject!”

Bending over, Spike dug up a handful of sand and watched the little
crabs that lived in it scurry around in his palm. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“What?”

He rolled his eyes and pulled the guide’s hands away from her ears. “I
said...sorry.”

“Oh...well, good.” Only slightly mollified, she wiped the wet sand off
her ears. “Now...to get back on subject. If you remember correctly, I told
you when you first arrived that your case was under review.”

“Mm-hmm.” Spike stared out over the calm sea, watching in delight
as a school of dolphins frolicked offshore. “And?”

“And....I thought you’d be pleased to know that, due to your acting
above and beyond the call of duty, they’ve offered you a get-out-of-
limbo-free card. You can go back and TRY to do things right this time.”

Spike shrugged, staring at his feet as he kicked a seashell out into
the water. “Got no reason to go back.”

Melisande grinned, her silver eyes dancing with glee. “What about
her?”

“Her? Her who?” he asked, squishing the sand between his toes.

“You know perfectly well who I mean....the slayer.”

Spike released a short laugh. “Oh, yeah...the slayer. Good reason to
go back, that one is.”

“Well, why not?”

Why not? There were a hundred reasons why not, but only one that
cut any ice with him.

“She doesn’t love me.” He shook his head. “I can’t go through it all
again, Pet.”

Melisande sighed. “You don’t have to go back to her, you know. The
world is a big place. Easy to get lost in.”

Spike chuckled again. “No...I’d never be able to stay away. Tried it
already...couldn’t do it. Long as she’s there, I’d go looking for her
sooner or later.” He knelt in the wet sand and began to scoop out a
hole. “The slayer....I’m like a fucking homing pigeon where she’s
concerned.”

His guide plopped down next to him. “Look, William...Spike...whatever
name you’re going by these days...you really didn’t give her much of a
chance at the end, you know. She finally tells you that she loves you and
yo”

”

Spike cut her off with a sharp gesture of his hand. “You just don’t get
it, do you, Tinkerbell...”

“Don’t call me Tinkerbell! I’m not a....”

“...point is, underneath that slightly frosty and sometimes downright
bitch queen exterior...Buffy HAS a heart.” He frowned as he kept
digging. “She was just...trying to make me feel better about what
was gonna happen.”

“Well?” Melisande spread out her hands. “She cares!”

“I never said she doesn’t care,” Spike replied, striving for a little of
‘William’s’ patience. “I know that she cares....it’s not enough.”

“Okay,” Melisande sighed again, “I may not be the worldliest
spirit guide on the astral plane, but even I think you’re wrong. I’ve
been watching you two for years now.” She stood up and brushed
the sand off her skirt. “That girl loves you, you thick headed ox, and
if you throw that sand at me, I’ll see to it that you spend your next
life as a house cat!” she warned, seeing him forming a ball out of the
wet sand.

Spike’s grin faded. “You wouldn’t.”

“Try me!”

“You couldn’t.”

“I can and I will!” She smoothed her hair and started to leave. “I’m
going back inside now...”

“Good!”

“....but before I do, I have one more thing to ask you.”

Spike glanced at her, suspiciously. “And that is...?”

She smiled impishly. “Are you a gambling man?”

He hesitated. Where had THAT come from?

“I’ve been known to place a wager or two,” he admitted. “When the stakes are right. Why?”

Folding her arms across her chest, Melisande’s smile grew wider. “I’ll
bet you that she really does love you...just exactly the way you want her
to love you. If I’m right....”

“You’re not even in the neighborhood of right.”

“IF I’M RIGHT” she repeated more forcefully. “You pack your bags and get out of my hair for the next fifty or sixty years.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “And if you’re WRONG, Miss Cheeky?”

There was a short pause. “I’m not sure yet,” she finally said. “I
don’t know how much leeway I have in making these deals. But,
it’ll be something good, trust me.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Something good, huh?”

“Well, of course something good!” she huffed. “I’m not in the
business of doling out something bad, you lunkhead!”

She turned and flounced off, with Spike on her heels, stumbling
to get his pants on without falling on his ass in the soft sand.

“Oi! How’s about you knock off the name calling, pixie brain? That’d
be good!”

“Moron!”

“Shrew!”

“Pigheaded clod!”

“Flying monkey!”

She whipped around, her silver eyes sparking with anger. “I AM NOT A
FLYING MONKEY!” she screeched at him.

Spike turned on one heel and ran off, with Melisande in hot
pursuit.

“JUST BECAUSE I HAVE WINGS, THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME
A FLYING MONKEY! YOU COME BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!”

She chased him down the beach, letting him know in no uncertain terms
what would happen when she caught up with him.

Spike stayed twenty feet ahead of her, laughing in the warm afternoon
sunshine.


TBC