Goodbye William

Buffy tells Spike to move on and…lets just see what happens when he does.

Goodbye William


~~FLASHBACKS~~

“I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's... Get your stuff. I'll be here.”
~~~~`

“Her hands.” Spike said looking at Buffy with awe.

“Um, I was gonna fix 'em. I don't know how they got like that.” Dawn said softly

“I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how.” Spike said “Isn't that right?” he asked looking into her eyes.

“Yeah. That's ... what I had to do.” Buffy said quietly looking at the ground.

“Done it myself. Um ... We'll take care of you. Come here.” Spike looked at Dawn “Get some stuff, uh, Mercurochrome, bandages.”
~~~~`

“We ... we kissed, you and me. All Gone With the Wind, with the rising music, and the rising ... music, and what was that, Buffy?” Spike said passionately

“A spell?”

“Oh, don't get all prim and proper with me. I know what kind of girl you really are. Don't I.”

“What we did is done. But I will never kiss you, Spike. Never touch you ever, *ever* again.”
~~~~`

“So, what now? You go back to treating me like dirt till the next time you get an itch you can't scratch? Well, forget it. Last night changed things. I'm done being your whipping boy.” Spike said angrily

“Nothing's changed. It was a mistake.” Buffy said sadly

“Bollocks! It was a bloody revelation. You can act as high and mighty as you like ... but I know where you live now, Slayer. I've tasted it.” Spike said satisfaction dripping from his voice.

“Get a grip. Like you're god's gift.”

“Hardly. Wouldn't be nearly as interesting, would it?” Spike asked grabbing her by the arm

“No! Let me go!” Buffy yelled wrenching her arm out of his grasp

“I may be dirt ... but you're the one who likes to roll in it, Slayer. You never had it so good as me. Never.”

“Uhh, you're bent.”

“Yeah, and it made you scream, didn't it?”

“I swear to god, if you tell *anyone* about last night, I will kill you.” Buffy said furiously

“Right.” Spike said rolling his eyes as he pulled her underwear out of his pocket. “You're gonna want these, too?” He asked as she punched him.
~~~~`

“I'm gonna get you home, and you're gonna crawl in your warm comfy bed and stay there!” Spike said firmly. “I'm gonna sort this out. Trust me.” Spike said softly.
~~~~`

“And how many people are alive because of you? How many have you saved? One dead girl doesn't tip the scale.”

“That's all it is to you, isn't it? Just another body!”

“Buffy-…” Spike sighed as she attacked him

“You can't understand why this is killing me, can you?”

“Why don't you explain it?” Spike asked while Buffy continued to pummel him.

“Come on, that's it, put it on me. Put it all on me.” Spike said as Buffy landed a powerful kick. “That's my girl.”

“I am not your girl!” Buffy screamed at him. She hit him until he fell to the ground, and still continued. Spike took it all. “You don't ... have a soul! There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside! You can't feel anything real! I could never ... be your girl!”

“You always hurt ... the one you love, pet. Buffy?” Spike tried to talk to her, his voice was slurred from being beaten so badly. Buffy got up and walked off, Spike tried to stop her but couldn't. “Buffy...”
~~~~`

“Tell me you love me.” She said quietly looking into his eyes.

“I love you. You know I do.” Spike said happily surprised.

“Tell me you want me.” Buffy said walking up to him and placing her hand on his chest.

“I always want you. In point of fact-…” Spike said looking down at himself and then back up into her eyes smiling softly.

“Shut up.” She said softly pulling him down, and unbuttoning his shirt
~~~~`

“Well, that's bloody funny coming from you! No more games? That's all you've ever done is play me. You keep playing with rules you make up as you like. You know what I am. You've always known. You come to me all the same.” Spike stated. Buffy could hear the hurt in his voice.
~~~~`

Buffy stood outside Spike’s Crypt for ten minutes trying to shake off the memories. No. I have to do this. I have to. I have no choice. Please. I don’t want to, I admit that. But I have to. She took a deep breath and entered the crypt.

“So she's back.” Spike said sighing softly. “Thought you'd be off snogging with soldier-boy.”

“He's gone.”

“So, you come for a bit of cold comfort? The bed's a bit blown up, but that was never our-…”

“I'm not here to- And I'm not here to bust your chops about your stupid scheme, either. That's just you. I should have remembered.”

“So this is worse then, is it, this is you telling me-…”

“It's over.”

“I've memorised this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what you want.”

“I know that. I do want you. Being with you ... makes things ... simpler. For a little while.”

“I don't call five hours straight a little while.”

“I'm using you. I can't love you. I'm just ... being weak, and selfish...”

“Really not complaining here.”

“...and it's killing me. I have to be strong about this. I'm sorry ... William.” Buffy said turning her back to him. “You just need to let this go…let me go. You need to move on …”
“Buffy, I love you it’s not that simple.” Spike said pleading
“Make it that simple Spike, please move on.” Buffy said tears rolling freely down her face as she walked away.
Spike could smell her tears, and her desperation. Whatever you need Buffy, luv. He thought to himself as he started hurriedly throwing his few meagre possessions into a duffel bag.
~~~~`
~~ Later that night ~~
“I’m going out to patrol Dawn you gonna be ok?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah I’ll be fine. I am old enough to be alone for a couple of hours Buffy don’t worry about me.” Dawn said flopping down on the couch and opening her magazine.
~~~~`

Not gonna go by his place. Nope. Not gonna even go into that cemetery.
Buffy thought to herself as she started her nightly rounds.

Without thought her feet carried her to his Crypt. Well as long as I’m here I may as well…say hi? Buffy thought to herself, knocking on the door. She waited and nothing so she knocked again. “Spike?” She called opening the Crypt door. Where is all of his stuff? Oh My God SPIKE IS REALLY GONE. Buffy confirmed this by going downstairs and seeing nothing left except the ruined bed.

~~~~`
~~ At the same time ~~

Spike was walking through downtown Sunnydale. Gotta stay away. She told me to stay away. No patrol. No shaggin when she’s depressed. No more. Never again. It’s over. He was startled out of his thoughts by a scream, and took off running in that direction.

Spike entered the alley and saw two vamps attacking someone. He dusted them before they even realized he was there. “Oh God. Oh my god. You saved my life.” The woman said as Spike helped her shakily to her feet. “Didn’t do anything really.” Spike said turning away.

“Will…Will you walk me home?” The woman asked.

“Sure got nothing better to do. As long as you don’t live on Revello.” Spike said sadly.

“No I don’t…Why did you help me?” Spike asked as they started to walk.

“I heard a scream and came running. S’what anyone would have done.” Spike replied shrugging.

“Yeah…but not any vampire.” She said looking at him.

“You…know I’m a vampire?” Spike asked incredulous. “And you still wanted me to walk you home?”

“Yeah…I know…about vampires. I …you’re different. I was in a relationship of sorts, with a vampire once. It didn’t end well. I’m Jasmine by the way.”

“Spike.” He said nodding his head. “What do you mean relationship of sorts?” He questioned.

“I am a counselor, I council lost souls. And one day he came in…looking for someone to talk to I had been doing this for a while, we talked and he kept coming back. Eventually we moved in together and we were happy. I know he…was a vampire, and if I let him he could…drink. But you know I could live with it…and it worked. You see he had this chip…the government put it in his head. He escaped and found me. He couldn’t hurt humans, well anything living for that matter without blinding pain.
Well one day he …said goodbye and…walked out into the sun, I tried to stop him but he said I needed to move on. He said he needed to know that I was living life as I should.”

“Wow that’s quite a story luv.” Spike said completely shocked.

“Yeah well…what made you…change?” She asked curious.

“Well same as your guy, I got a government chip too. I met someone and fell in love. She just broke it off with me, S’ been really hard. I …love her so much and she says she doesn’t love me. Doesn’t even want to…well it’s her friends you know? They’ve convinced her that I’m evil. That I couldn’t possibly love her. I’ve changed my whole existence for her, the way I think. Everything. I would never have left her if she didn’t force me to. She wants me to move on. That’s what I have to do. She didn’t tell me to leave town. Just to stay away. Unless she needs a fighter, that’s what I am gonna try to do.”

“Spike why don’t you show her you have changed?” Jasmine said with a twinkle in her eye.

“What do you mean luv?” Spike asked curious.

“I mean you could pretend to date me. If she really feels anything for she she would be really jealous if you do move on. You could get her back. And if you find out she doesn’t care you can move on for good.” Jasmine said excitement in her voice.

“Why would you want to do that pet?”

“Spike you saved my life. You are a vampire. Vampires are Evil. You are not evil. That’s why I want to do it for you. I believe you have changed.”

Spike thought it over weighing it carefully. Must be a reason I blurted out all that to her. Maybe she was meant to help me.
“Ok I’ll do it.”

They talked, and Slept and talked some more until Jasmine knew everything there was to know about Buffy and Spike’s relationship.
~~~~`

Xander and Anya had a beautiful wedding. Willow was the best woman, and Buffy was the maid of honor.

“Okay. For the last time. 'I, Anya, want to marry you, Xander, because ... I love you and I'll always love you. And ... before I knew you, I was like a completely different person. Not even a person, really... ...and I had seen what love could do to people, and it was ... hurt and sadness. Alone was better. And then, suddenly there was you, and ... you knew me. You saw me, and it was this ... thing. You make me feel safe and warm. So, I get it now. I finally get love, Xander. I really do.'” Anya said smiling brightly at her husband.


I can’t believe he didn’t show up…why didn’t he show up? Buffy asked herself. Cause I told him to let go…am I really surprised? He left just like everyone else…Buffy felt the tears welling up. I have to stop this I…I am the one who told him to go…I am sorry Spike.
~~~~`

Spike didn’t leave Jasmine’s for two weeks. Even though he wanted to see Buffy he resisted the urge. He didn’t even go to see Dawn.

“I know it’s hard Spike but tomorrow it is. We go see how jealous we can make that girl of yours.”
~~~~`

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