Believe In Me

Spike was pretty much done with the pow-wow portion of the evening. So far, they’d come up with squat in the way of jack, and the way Angel and Giles skirted around issues, Spike was thinking what he wanted to do was demand some answers to what had exactly gone down with Darla and Giles’ old Slayer. Spike had his suspicions. Strong ones. However, he knew that going up against both Giles and Angel was futile. Going up against just one of them was like trying to get answers out of a brick wall, but if he was willing to resort to some tricks to get answers if he had to. He’d told Buffy not to start fishing, had even defended Angel’s right to his secrets, but he had a feeling that this huge chunk to the puzzle had a lot to do with why Darla was there and more vindictive than ever.
When Angel got up to find Buffy so they could find the room they’d all be staying in, Spike hung back and told him to go on ahead. Angel gave him a funny look, but Spike just said he wanted to speak with Giles about something. After witnessing Giles and Angel exchange looks, Spike was more determined than ever to get to the bottom of the mystery.
“So, Rupes,” Spike drawled when Angel had left and was well out of earshot. “What’s the story then?”
Giles regarded him warily. “What ever do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. There’s a huge chunk to this story we’re missing.”
“There is no ‘chunk’ missing, William. I had a Slayer, Angel helped, Slayer got killed by Darla, and now Darla is back.”
“Yes, seems she’s out to not only hurt Angel, but you as well. I see you did the world a right justice by sending her to hell. So, how about you tell me the exact nature of Angel’s relationship with Anna.”
“Good night, Spike,” Giles said wearily and walked out of the room.

********

Having a meeting and rehashing some of the past was difficult with Spike in the room. Angel had to wonder himself why he didn’t just come out and tell them he’d had an affair with Anna. Probably because he’d kept it secret for this long and to tell them now was akin to lying. Probably because he was ashamed of his actions. He’d gotten her killed and surely they would see it that way too. How could they not? If Anna hadn’t been so set on saving him instead of looking out for herself, she might possibly have survived.

Darla knew. Darla knew he’d been involved with Anna and she’d gone after them with a vengeance. It was the whole reason she’d gone after them with a vengeance.

And what did he do? He spent most of his time sending Anna mixed messages. Stay…go…stay…go. It was because of him. . .

Rapping on the door to Lindsey’s room, Angel figured if he had breath, he’d be holding it right about now. How would Lindsey react to him, knowing that it was because of him that Darla had killed his fiancé?

Knocking hesitantly on the door, he held unneeded breath and waited for Lindsey to answer the door, whilst hoping Buffy would be the one to do it.

And she was. She opened the door quietly and when she was it was him, she put her finger to her mouth to sign to him to be quiet. Stepping out in the hall with him, she shut the door behind her. “He fell asleep,” she explained. “We had some dinner and he just looked so . . . worn. I told him to lay down and I sat in the rocking chair he has in his room and just talked to him until he fell asleep.” Fumbling in her pockets, she extracted some Polaroid’s. “I snagged these. I didn’t think it was healthy for him to keep.”

Looking at the pictures Buffy handed him, Angel’s stomach turned. They were of Elaine’s dead body, her blood splattering the walls around her and Darla scrawled out next to her. He pocketed them. “You shouldn’t be looking at those either. Giles should have them.”

“I shouldn’t be looking at them? You do remember that I kill demons and vampires on a regular basis right? You do remember that I’ve seen a hell of a lot worse and been through a hell of a lot worse, right?” Buffy said, putting her hands on her hips.

“Buffy, don’t start,” he said wearily.

“No, you don’t start. All this…how does Spike put it? Molly coddling you’ve done.” She pointed at him. “I know you’re keeping something from me Angelus, so don’t even try to –“

“Don’t call me that,” Angel ordered.

“Then stop molly coddling me.”

“You should know better than to call me that,” Angel said, his voice even and angry. “You know that I’m not Angelus – you don’t know what Angelus is capable of and believe me, you don’t want to know.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Struck a chord did I? I’ve been calling you that for years when I’m not happy with you and now in light of everything, it bothers you. Why is that?”

“Just knock it off, Buffy. I’m not in the mood for this,” he said shaking his head and walking away from her, annoyed.

That just fueled Buffy right up and she grabbed his arm. “Maybe you should get in the mood. What is with you and all the secrets? You do realize that Lindsey just lost his fiancé and he’s…god, Angel, he’s a mess! If you’re keeping something from us that could possibly help to find Darla and get rid of her—“

“Stay out of it Buffy, you hear me? You stay in this place and you don’t get yourself involved. I let you come, and yeah, I let you believe you were going to help, but you’re not. You are to stay here and stay safe – do you understand me?”

“You are not my keeper—“

“If I remember right,” Angel drawled, “Whistler did bring me to you to be your keeper. This is a time when you should be listening to me, Buffy.”

Buffy glared at him. “I never have before so good luck with that!” and she stomped off in the opposite direction.

“Where are you going?” Angel demanded.

“To find Spike. At least him I can talk to,” she spat as she marched down the hall.

Turning the corner, she ran smack dab into Spike.

He grabbed her arms, steadying her after nearly falling over from the impact. “Pet – you all right?”

She looked up at Spike’s concerned blue eyes. “No. I had an argument with Angel just now.”

“Oh?”

“He wants me to stay in this place. Stay here and stay out of fighting.”

“Well…”

“Don’t you start, too!”

“What was said exactly?”

Buffy relayed the conversation to him, adding in her conversation with Lindsey, and by the end of her explanation, she was fired up and ready for action. “I’m going out there, that’s what I’m going to do,” she said and started marching for the door.

Spike grabbed her, “Buffy. Don’t run off like that just to piss Angel off because you’re pissed at him.”

“Did you find something out?” Buffy asked him, quirking a brow.

Spike sighed. “No. Dead end with the lot of them.”

“I’m going out there Spike. You’ll have to restrain me to get me to not go. Or you can come with me. Your choice.”

Knowing his girl and her willful stubbornness, Spike knew she was telling the truth. He would have to restrain her. And if she got loose, she’d go alone and without him to watch her back.

Sighing resolutely, Spike nodded. “All right. Let’s go.”