Life of Experience

Part 9:

"Shit!" Xander cursed under his breath, glancing at the clock on the wall, while putting his shoes on. He woke up early today, but spent too much time chatting on the net and forgot about school. Grabbing his bag, he raced to the door, then to the stairs.

"Gonna be late, gonna be late, gonna be late," he chanted, jumping two steps at once, and almost tripping.

He ran towards the kitchen looking for Giles, he knew his guardian would be pissed. The boy abruptly stopped at the sight of Spike sitting at the kitchen table and eating his breakfast. The blond looked up with a smile. "Hey there, want some pancakes?"

He said it too friendly as if they hadn't fought yesterday, Xander observed.

He looked around the kitchen, ignoring the previous question. "Where's Dad?" he asked.

"Went to school, needed to go early and said you could use your car," Spike answered swallowing a piece of pancakes.

"Oh.” Xander nodded. He was used to going to school with Giles even though he had his own car. It was a habit. Jesse had always discussed this with him, telling him that if he already had a car, he shouldn't come to school with his father. It wasn't cool. Xander couldn’t care less if it weren’t cool.

Willow, in contrast, thought that Xander was cooler because he didn’t care what others thought of him and did things his own way. Actually, Xander cared. That was why he never told a soul about his mother, even Jesse and Willow, because he did fear people’s judgment on such matters, little stuff like school popularity didn’t really interest him.

He sighed. “So I'll just …"

"Want some pancakes?" Spike interrupted optimistically.

"No, I should get to school, I'm gonna be late." The younger boy frowned at Spike's cheery behavior. Did Bleach Head really forget about last night?

Xander was about to leave when he heard Spike's yell. "Wait, I'll go with you."

"You what?" he spun around, staring at Spike as if he had grown another head.

"I'll go with you," the blond said simply.

"You'll go with me to school?" Xander asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Spike stressed confused.

Xander crossed his arms around his chest. "And why is that?”

"Miss it,” Spike said with a shrug. “Want to see if it changed much."

"Can save you the trouble, it's the same as you remember it," the brunet replied. ~ This isn't happening! I'm not taking him with me! God, don't do this to me! ~

"Well, it doesn't matter coz I'm going." Spike placed the fork on the table and looked at Xander daring him to say no.

"Oh, who said you can?"

"Rupert," Spike answered contentedly, "he said I can go with you."

"He did not!" Xander exclaimed. He didn't doubt Giles suggesting that, but he couldn't bear having Spike in the car with him the whole way to school. That was such torture!

"You can ask him." Spike raised his eyebrows in challenge.

Xander jerked his head back, grunting. "Great, just great!"

"Hey,” Spike cried out defensively. “You weren't my first choice either, kid. But Rupert wanted to head off early, and I can't go anywhere without eating breakfast. He suggested I go with you."

"Well, hurry up and finish, coz I'm gonna be late!" Xander yelled and watched as Spike ate his breakfast terribly slow. The brunet wanted to explode.

*****

Spike was smirking when he got in the passenger seat. He had forgotten how fun it was annoying Xander. He kept eating his breakfast very slowly, the younger boy was about to kill himself. Torturing Xander was really fun, which reminded Spike of his vow to act more mature around Xander from now on. Well, screw that! He was only teasing the boy like any big brother would, it wasn't like he was locking him in a basement or hitting him. These were just good nature jokes. Also, he was only twenty-two, he was too young to start acting like an overly mature older brother.

Turning to Xander who just took his seat, he remarked, “You sure you know how to drive this? I don't want a fast trip to the hospital on my second day back home."

"Well, since I've been driving it for a year now, I'm pretty sure I can," Xander spat irritated, Spike figured it was because of the time he spent eating his breakfast. He knew he was going to make Xander late for school, yet he couldn't bring himself to care after the insults he got from the brunet yesterday.

"You drive very slow," Spike stated staring out of his window. ~ He’s driving like an old lady. ~

"This is called following the law, which I don't think you know about judging from last time you were here," Xander shot back looking smug. That was nasty, Spike thought, the kid was reminding him of his rebellious teenage years.

"Besides," Xander went on. "My driving is way faster than the way you were eating, if I’m late for class it's your fault."

"If you cared enough to get to school on time, you shouldn't have spent two hours chatting on the net," Spike shot back with a smirk. Yeah, he had been peeking from Xander's ajar door, so there.

"Shut up, Spike!" the boy snapped, and didn't reply apparently out of come backs.

Spike stared at Xander’s angry face. He couldn't help but notice how handsome the boy looked frowning like that. His eyes moved to Xander’s arms, they were covered with soft masculine hair. They reminded him of Angel’s arms. Spike liked hairy arms, they were very manly. Now Xander’s arms had more hair than Angel’s and Spike wanted to feel their silkiness between his fingers. Or better yet feel them stand up with every shudder Xander …

Spike blinked. Was he just imaging touching Xander’s arm in the throws of passion? Did Xander notice that? He couldn't risk finding out, he had to do something. He immediately looked straight ahead. “Oh, the video store! Didn’t change over the years!” He looked at the old video store he and his friends used to go to in search of porn.

“No, it didn’t,” Xander muttered, eyes still on the road, his mind obviously not with Spike.

The blond tried hard to breathe normally. His brain was rambling, what was that all about?

*****

Xander ran as fast as he could. He had just parked his car and yelled at Spike to get out, so he could lock it. He didn’t care to stay and hear Spike’s comment since he quickly ran into the school. The first period would start any minute and there were almost no students in the halls.

He turned to the left, and ran through the long hall. He was relieved to find a few students who still hadn’t entered class … or they were simply ditching them.

Suddenly, he stopped when he saw her. She had just closed her locker and held her books to her chest firmly. She shrugged on the strap of the bag on her shoulder to keep it in place and started walking. His heart started beating when she headed in his direction. Her golden hair floating in the air, her beautiful figure confidently striding.

He swallowed the lump in his throat while he watched her getting closer to him. He sadly noticed that her emerald green eyes weren't focused on him and he knew then that she wasn't heading towards him.

As she passed him, his heart painfully squeezed because she didn't notice him, because he knew she would never notice him. He heaved a sigh, and groaned when he looked down at his pants.

*****

Thankfully, the Class door was still open which meant the teacher wasn't in yet. Xander ran inside the noisy classroom and jumped into the empty seat in front of Jesse, giving a relived sigh.

He could see from the corner of his eye Willow, who was seated next to his friend, giving Jesse an amused glance. “So … why is Mr. Always-on-time late today?” Jesse asked from behind his panting form.

He shifted in his seat, and turned to look at his two friends with a big grin, not saying a word.

“I guess you ran into something nice,” Jesse said judging from the goofy look on his face.

“I just ran into Buffy,” Xander said with a smile.

“Oh Buffy, should have guessed. You know that girl is getting to you, man.”

“Look who’s talking," Willow said sarcastically. "The boy who got whipped by Cordelia.”

“Hey, Cordelia is the best, man!” Jesse yelled defensively. Xander’s friend was attracted to Sunnydale High’s most popular girl. Cordelia Chase, daddy’s rich girl, a beautiful cheerleader with the rudest behavior. Jesse had never kept his crush on her a secret and he was always a victim of her insults. Willow also had run ins with the prom queen. The redhead never liked her because of the way she mistreated her. As for Xander he never cared for her or her insults which caused her to be bored with him and consequently ignore him.

“At least Buffy is nice," Willow commented dryly. She turned to Xander with a smile. "Right?”

“Yeah," he said softly, "She reminds me of …”

“Dawn?” Willow guessed with a worried frown.

“Oh man, you’re still not over her?” Jesse asked bothered.

“Oh no, I’m over her. Totally over her. Gosh it’s been like six months since she left, of course I’m over her." He shouldn't have repeated 'over her' a thousand times, because judging from their expressions they didn't believe him. Dawn was Xander's girlfriend since their Freshman year in high school, however, six months ago her father got a better job in New York City and Dawn had to transfer to another high school there. Both of them realized that their relationship would never work out when they were that far away from each other, so they broke up.

This year, Xander's eyes caught Buffy Summers, a new transfer who immediately found her crowd with Cordelia Chase. Another cheerleader, who was actually different from other cheerleaders. Buffy was far from cruel and cocky, although she was another spoiled daddy’s girl, just like Dawn had been.

“I just meant that they have similarities,” he explained.

“Like that childish way of talking?” Willow asked with a raised eyebrow, she sounded nothing but scornful.

Buffy did have a childish tone in her voice, also in her use of words. Dawn used to be the same. Actually everything about Buffy reminded him of Dawn. Did that mean that he didn’t get over Dawn? He thought he did because he never seemed to think about her recently. Lately, he started thinking about Buffy, a girl he couldn’t have. He knew she would never look at him that way, but he liked to dream.

“What’s up Will? You’re jealous of Xander’s girls?" Jesse teased. Suddenly his eyebrows rose quickly. "Uh … you have a crush on Xander!” he exclaimed joking in fake astonishment.

“Shut up Jesse!” Willow yelled hitting his arm, while the tall boy laughed. She turned away and muttered softly, “It’s not Xander who I have a crush on.”

Xander looked at her sympathetically. The soft spoken words reflected the feelings Willow had for Jesse for more than two years. He knew about her feelings towards his friend even though she had never told him. It was very clear the way Willow had always stared at Jesse.

He had once asked Jesse what he thought of Willow, in an attempt to help his redhead friend. Jesse replied that Willow wasn’t his type. He liked her too much as a friend but nothing more. As much as Xander loved Willow and wanted to see her happy, he couldn't force Jesse to feel for her. He just hoped she would get over him and move on with her life. He wished the same thing for himself as well.

The teacher entered and the classroom fell silent. Xander cursed quietly. If he knew the teacher would take this long to come, he wouldn't have run through the halls like a lunatic.

****

Walking through the halls, Spike looked at every single thing on the school campus. Xander was right. Nothing had changed, except for the names in 'prom queens posters'. He stood in front of a small one and looked at the picture of a young cheerleader, judging from the outfit. 'Vote for Cordelia Chase' was written under the picture with a stupid quote from her under it.

Spike looked up at her face. She was beautiful, they were always beautiful. He liked her chocolaty brown eyes. A small smile crept onto his lips as memories of Angel's brown eyes looking at him with passion played in his mind.

He shook the bitter memories away and gazed at the cheerleader's long brown hair. The hair reminded him of Faith, now Spike doubted that this young lady was anything similar to Faith. This one looked like a spoiled brat, while Faith was nothing but the school's whore. Until this day he was surprised that Faith had never tried to get him into bed, she did flirt with him on different occasions, but she was never all over him like every guy on campus.

~ Maybe she read through me and knew I wasn't into chits, ~ he thought with a chuckle and turned to leave. Suddenly, he walked into someone very hard.

"Oh sorry," Spike mumbled, he looked at the face before him and blinked.

The woman looked back at him, her eyes widened. "Oh my God, Spike?" She cried out and smiled happily

He had a smile in return. "Tara?"

She let out a laugh and hugged him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder while the other one was holding her books to her chest. He hugged her back, smiling. Of all his school class mates, Tara was the last person he thought he would ever meet again.

He drew her back gently and looked her over. She had filled out a little. Her hair was shorter to her shoulders. Her face looked as Spike remembered it, the warmest thing he had ever seen.

"Oh God, how've you been?" she exclaimed happily.

He shrugged, "Good, just got back from England."

"Right, you went to college there."

“Right.”

She grinned looking entirely thrilled to see him. "Hey, I've got nothing now, why don't we have some coffee in the faculty lounge?"

"Alright then,” he nodded with a small smile.

*******

"So you're a teacher here?"

"Yeah, Math, kids don't like that."

"I expect not."

Tara smiled. "What about you? You have a degree in literature, right? Going to teach here?"

"No,” Spike shook his head, taking a sip of his coffee. He had always preferred tea, but never minded coffee. At least he wasn’t like Rupert. The ol’ man would never replace tea for anything. “I'll be doing some writing. I'll start publishing some poetry or short stories in the media, getting people to know me first, then I may consider writing a book."

She raised an eyebrow. "Smart."

"Think so?"

"Yeah," she replied with a raised chin, then giggled. He smiled fondly, he had always liked her. She was the only decent girl back in high school. That was why he didn't give Oz a hard time when he started dating her.

Now it was time for the dreadful question.

"So," he looked down at his cup. "What about the others? You and Oz are still together?"

"No, we've broke up during sophomore year in college."

"Sorry," he spoke softly looking up at her. He noticed a flicker of sadness in her blue eyes. The idea of them apart was quite odd. He had never expected the two of them would break up. They were really tight back in high school. He even thought if he had ever met them again they would have been married or at least engaged.

"Yeah well we had our differences,” Tara went on softly. “I've always wanted him to major in the subject he wanted, but you know Oz, he always wanted to be with me. He couldn't get his grades up though."

Right. Spike noticed the many times Oz preferred hanging with Tara over them. And the fact that he never spoke his mind. "What happened?”

“Well, since Oz’s grades weren’t improving. We started fighting and things got ugly. I knew that music was Oz’s passion and I had always suggested he make it his major. But Oz insisted that he liked what *I* like and well, I yelled that I wanted to break up.” Tara shrugged. “I didn’t want him to throw his whole future away just because he wanted to be close to me. I couldn’t live with that. After our break up he quit college and left town.”

“You did the right thing, Tara,” he said sincerely.

“Really?”

Spike nodded. Oz had always been the one to agree with the group. He never suggested or made a decision to the whole group. It wasn’t much about insecurity. It was more of an Oz thing.

Spike smiled, it was nice to hear about his old friends again. He was wondering whatever happened to Parker and Devon. He was unsure that Tara knew a lot.

“Do you want to know about the others?” She asked kindly.

It was like she read his mind. He smiled. “If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” she said smiling in return. “Well, Devon didn’t get into college. He’s working for his father in one of his companies. As for Parker …”

Spike’s attention more focused now. He really wanted to know what happened to his screwed up friend. After all these years Spike couldn’t bring himself to be angry at Parker. His friend had a rough life and he never complained, even though Spike thought that Parker’s attitude is due to trouble childhood. However, his friend’s choices and view of life were always wrong.

Tara sighed. “He was released last year.”

Spike’s eyes jerked wide. “What? He had spent three years in jail? But he only used drugs for a week!”

Tara nodded. “I know, he wasn’t supposed to spend that long there. But stuff had happened during his time in jail. His father was killed,” she said sadly.

“Oh God,” Spike whispered shocked and covered his face in his hands.

“Parker … his stay in prison had extended. I really don’t know the true story, but according to Oz, Parker must have tried to avenge his father. On the news they had reported that Parker tried to run away, I’m not sure who to believe.”

Spike’s face was still hidden in his hands. He had never thought that things would turn out this poorly for Parker.

“I’m sorry I don’t know much, I know that Parker was released last year ad that’s probably about it.” There was a pause, “You really cared about him,” she expressed gently.

“I did. It wasn’t entirely his fault, his life was … unstable.” He raised his head with a sigh, looking up at her concerned face.

“Have you uh … have you visited …”

“Oz did. Once I guess. I never did … well … Parker was never fond of me …”

“I see. It’s alright. So you don’t know where he is now?”

“No, Oz and I had already broken up when Parker was released. Even if we were still together, I doubt that Oz would have known, he had only visited Parker once as far as I know. The only one who was really close to Parker was ..,”

“Me,” Spike finished quietly before looking down at his cup. If Spike hadn’t left, if he had visited during holydays, maybe just maybe Parker would have …

“I’m so sorry, Spike. It’s been a year since Parker was released and we never heard of him, maybe things are looking up.”

Spike appreciated Tara’s attempt to help, but he knew that things weren’t looking up for his friend. He just knew.

He heaved a sigh and looked into Tara’s eyes. “I made a vow before coming here. I want to start over new, I want to forget the past and concentrate about the future. Parker was in the past and there’s no use for regrets over something that was done and over.”

Parker, Oz, Devon … and Angel, they were all in the past. Wallowing in the past wouldn’t do Spike any good. He had to move on, he would move on.

Tara smiled. “I guess it’s for the best,” she whispered looking at the distance, as if she was thinking. He didn’t doubt that she was thinking about Oz.

“Yeah,” he nodded approving. It was time to change the subject. “So math, any favorite students?”

"Well, one of them is walking over there," she said pointing at the school yard.

Spike followed her pointed finger and noticed many kids. No one was wearing any geeky glasses.

"The redhead walking along with your brother," Tara clarified.

Spike's eyes caught Xander walking with his friends, the redhead and Jesse. His eyes widened in amusement. Boy Jesse looked like he should have joined the basketball team. He looked at the tiny redhead walking between the two. Her hair was shorter than in the picture, she looked so innocent and sweet. She did look like an intelligent nerd.

It seemed like the kids were having an argument. Jesse skipped water on Xander and the other did the same leaving their little friend giggling and screaming. Spike's eyes focused on Xander’s wet shirt. It was sticking to his chest, showing the play of muscles on his growing torso.

~ Xander has a nice chest, ~ Spike mused, before he blinked, ~ What …? ~

"Spike," Tara said grinning, bringing him back to reality. “Did you see her?”

He shook himself out of his dreamy land. “Huh? Yeah, yeah, uh … she’s the Rosenberg girl. Xander told me about her yesterday."

“Yeah, Willow Rosenberg. This girl is really gifted.”

Spike couldn’t bring himself to listen to Tara’s praising of the redhead. His mind was nervously trailing. He was gazing in attraction at his brother’s chest! He shouldn't be gazing at his brother's chest.

Well, yeah, Xander wasn't really his brother but still, Spike shouldn't think about how nicely the boy was built. They were living together like brothers after all. It was true that Spike never got the brother vibe from Xander, or the other way around. The only thing they did was fight and insult each other, which was something brothers do. Yet, it didn’t feel brother like to Spike. When two strangers fight like that all the time it would be described as sexual tension.

What? No!

This was wrong!

He shook his head, what was wrong with him?!

"You alright?" Tara asked concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."