Lonely No More

Chapter Nine

"Bloody frustrating," Spike muttered to himself as he glanced at the shut door of Buffy Summers for the hundredth time in an hour. "Can't just let me in, can't let me help – all I want to do is help . . . "

"Are you sure that's ALL you want to do?"

Spike jumped a near mile and his eyes darted up to find his uncle standing
before him in all his God-like glory.

"Uncle, what are you doing? She could come out here at any time—anyone
could walk in here and see you—" Spike exclaimed, bolting up from his seat.

Eros laughed, a deep hearty laugh. "No one will see me, trust me. Time's
stopped for a spell."

"Has it now?" Spike asked wryly.

"You're tense," Eros frowned.

"You would be too if you had to deal with," he gestured toward the shut
door, "HER."

Eros cocked his head to the side. "Is the task too hard? Shall I send
someone else?"

"No!" Spike burst out quickly, "No. I don't want –that is, I don't think
anyone else could handle her."

"Is that what you're doing? Handling her?"

Spike scratched the back of his head. "She's a difficult one, Uncle. I'm
trying my best here."

"What have you learned thus far?"

"She's been hurt badly. That much is bloody clear. She's so shut off. Well, it's like this really, she'll open the window just a crack and just when you're
about to climb in, she slams it shut."

"Have you learned the reasons why?"

"She claims she has tragic taste in men. Plus, Uncle. . . she doesn't believe
in love."

Eros' eyes widened. "What?!"

"For herself," Spike quickly amended. "She thinks she's meant to be alone
for the rest of her life."

"What do you think?"

Spike looked at his uncle in surprise. "What? You're the one that always
taught me there's a lid for every pot. That everyone has someone for
them."

"And that is all very true, my boy. However, you know, and you've seen
that sometimes there are those that never marry and settle. In some cases,
there are those that are perfectly content with the family and friends they

have around them and do not wish for anyone else. Sometimes that's all one
needs to complete their life."

"I don't see that for Buffy," Spike said tightly.

"Don't see it or don't want it?"

Spike met his uncle's eyes. "Don't want it. Not for her. Someone who has
put so much into getting people together should not spend the rest of her
life alone."

Eros nodded, he was grinning in a secretive way. "The best way to help
Buffy is to believe in love, Spike. Do you believe in love?"

Spike nodded and his eyes traveled to the shut door. "Yes, Uncle. I believe
in love." He sighed heavily. "I just don't know if believing in it is enough for
her. How do I get her to believe in it too?" He turned back to his uncle only
to find him gone. Spike shook his head, sighing heavily. He plopped back
down in his chair and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "Exactly what
was the point in that visit?" he asked the air.

"This one," Spike said, pointing at a picture of a guy named Xander Harris.

"Really? I chose this one," Buffy said, pointing to a picture of one named
Oz.

Spike grabbed the profile of Oz and skimmed it. "I don't know. I think
Xander and Willow could share some laughter."

"Yes, but I think Oz would allow her to shine. Remember how you said she
needed that?"

"You agreed with me?" Spike asked, surprised. She never really did cease
to amaze him in the short time he'd known her. He thought he was doomed
to spend the day with her behind closed doors, shutting him out completely.
Instead, she'd come out after his uncle had left with a stack of papers. She'd
printed out a list for each of them to look over and choose. She appeared
calmer and he was trying his best not to do anything to piss her off or send
her back in her office.

Buffy smiled, "Don't let it go to your head."

"Too late," he grinned.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "So, you think Xander huh?"

"He seems like a good guy. Well, from what I read on his profile anyway.
And look at that smile. He seems kind of. . . goofy. Willow tends to take
herself seriously, didn't you think?"

"True, but Oz is a laid back kind of guy. Very intelligent too."

"You don't think Xander is?"

"Well, no I didn't say that. He is intelligent, but I'm not sure if he's Willow
intelligent."

"Seems we're at an impasse luv. What do we do from here?" Spike asked,
smiling. He was enjoying this debate/discussion with Buffy. It was the first
time they'd debated on something and not had it result in arguing and her
slamming doors and walking away from him. She wasn't taking anything
personally, she wasn't defensive, she was all business Buffy but softer. Dare
he say, friendly even?

"Well, since I am at a place where I feel my judgment is not what it used to
be—" she began.

"Buffy, you still have it," Spike told her gently, placing a hand over hers.
She slipped it away from him. He tried not to react to that blatant gesture
of denying his comfort. Instead, he placed his hand back on his lap where he
would be sure not to reach for her hand again.

"I want to do right by Willow. She's such a sweet girl and I want to do what
I can to help her."

"You have a big heart," Spike said softly, staring at his lap.

"So, I'm willing to send her on two dates with both of them."

Spike's head shot up. "Really?"

Buffy nodded slowly, "Really. Despite whatever our differences are on a
personal level, I can't deny that there is something to our professional
compatibility. I am willing to do what I can to keep this place afloat. For
that, I can bend."

Spike narrowed his eyes. "So, I'm just a piece to help you keep this place
then? Is that it?"

"If things go well, you may end up having it."

His jaw dropped. "What?"

She shrugged. "Just a thought."

"Well, I don't like you talking that way! You're not giving this place up
Buffy. I do think you're in desperate need of a vacation, but this place is all
you."

"It was once, but not anymore. Look at me. I'm washed up."

"You're only twenty-eight. You're not washed up. You just lost your faith
in love."

Buffy sighed, "Let's not go there again."

Spike held up his hand. "I won't start. Don't send Willow out with Xander.
Send her out with Oz. Prove me wrong."

Buffy shook her head. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't have it in me to be wrong again."

"Buffy—"

"Just leave it alone Spike. I'm sending her out with both of them."

"And if she ends up with Xander?" Spike asked with trepidation. Never
had he wanted to be so wrong about something in his life.

"I don't know. I just don't know," Buffy murmured. "Why don't you call
Willow? I'm going to get some lunch. Want anything?"

Spike shook his head. "No," he said almost mournfully.

"Don't tell me you're worried now," Buffy said, standing up.

"I am. I don't want to be right. I don't want you to give this up."

"What's a girl to do when she's lost her touch but to move on?"

"A girl can find her touch again," Spike told her.

"I just have to accept it."

"You're not a quitter, Buffy. I won't let you quit."

"You can't stop me," she told him, the hard edge in her voice coming back.

Spike wanted to retort with ‘I can and I will', but he didn't. That'd send her
packing. Instead he stared at her, trying to find the truth in her eyes. All he
saw was pain mingled with some resignation and a tiny bit of fire. He
wanted all that fire back in her eyes. If she had the fire back, she'd be
unstoppable. A plan was starting to form in his mind. He was going to get
that fire back in her eyes.