Nobody's Home

The one thing I like about my visits to the OB is the donuts! Oh how I love the donuts. I fetch Angel his blood and bring back my $5 of donuts which I eat until I can’t move.
“Angel…” I mew sitting in front of the TV. He comes through into the front room and looks down at me in the chair.
“Yes Faith?” He asks. I make a small moaning sound and reach my arms up.
“Can’t get up…ate too much…” I giggle.
“Faith you did this last time too, will you ever learn” He holds both my hands and pulls me up, my 20 week old bump rubbing up against him. I look into his eyes and smile to myself.
“Want me to make you a special donut…” I flirt, he looks away confounded, my smile disappears and I back away. Angel quickly takes hold of my arms in his strong hands and kisses me hard on the mouth. I move a hand up to stroke his face and feel his hands drop to my waist; he pushes me towards the bedroom in a hurried action. I lie on the bed taking him with me and dart my tongue in his mouth, savouring his taste. He moves slightly on his side and stops kissing me.
“What’s the matter…?” I whisper, please god don’t let him stop.
“What about the baby?” He asks worryingly. Sod the baby!
“It’s fine, really.” I confirm before pushing him on his back and sitting astride him. I run my hands across his masculine body and pull his top off. He caresses my body, every curve and bump, particularly my new found bump. I lean forward and kiss his chest, he holds me close to him, I want to feel him inside me, I run my hand down between my legs to where his dick is hardening, I rub him through the material of his trousers and unzip the cold metal zip releasing him, he groans slightly and lies me on my back, he slowly and teasingly removes my panties from under my skirt, I close my eyes and sigh when his strong fingers find my moist cunt, his finger plays against the softness of my clit. I beg for him inside me. He hovers over me between my legs, I kiss him passionately and moan happily when he finally pushes inside me, I tongue every inch of his mouth and sigh with every thrust he makes, I push him back so that I’m on top and grind myself against him, I feel my orgasm building almost immediately and don’t stop moving up and down until I feel myself go numb from the pleasure, I feel myself tighten around him and stop moving, he moves onto my back and thrusts for his own climax. He relaxes against me when he reaches it and we fall asleep in each others arms.

I wake up to him still asleep beside me and wrap my naked body in the thin material of the bed sheet; it’s already night time as I look out the window. My heart is telling me one thing, my head another, and I don’t know which to believe. I look at him once again before pulling some clothes on; I take money from his wallet and leave the apartment. Why didn’t he love me back? I wander the streets thinking the same two arguments…why wasn’t I able to give him a moment of true happiness and why do I want Angelus back?

With the money I stole from Angel I live on the street for a week, I’ve done it before, it never changes. I sleep in a back alley on a pile of rags; my once colourful clothes are turning dirty and scuffed.

“Why did you send for me Angel?” the slim blonde addresses the tall brooding man.
“It’s Faith…she’s been gone for a week.” He answers anxiously.
“What happened to make her leave?” Buffy hesitates slightly.
“We have to find her she’s helpless” Angel avoids the subject.
“And you think I’ll find her?” Buffy questions him.

I walk past my favourite donut shop and marvel at the colours, if only I had the money spare to just have a little one. I drop my head in disappointment and keep shuffling my feet up the street. I keep thinking about Angel though, it bothers me that he didn’t turn because I know he doesn’t love me, but having Angelus back wouldn’t solve my problems either. Whilst in my head I’m relieved he didn’t turn, my heart wants to be loved.

I mope about LA looking for something but I’m not sure what, I stand outside Angel’s apartment block, looking up at the windows I assume are his.
“It’s not a far walk up those stairs” I hear a familiar voice behind me, without turning around I look over my shoulder.
“Buffy…” I confirm to myself, her footsteps come closer to me and I feel her hand on my shoulder.
“Go home to him, he misses your company” She announces genuinely. I place my hand on top of hers and squeeze her lovingly. She tries to turn me around to hug me but I step backwards away from her.
“Oh my god” too late she already saw, her eyes are fixed on my stomach. I pull my tattered cardigan across my body to hide my maternal shame. Her hand covers her mouth from shock, she stares disbelievingly at me.
“Buffy can we erm go inside, instead of catching flies out here” I say jokingly, she manages to nod her head and follows me dumbstruck up to Angel’s apartment.

As soon as I open the door Angel is holding me tighter than ever.
“Heh I missed you too…” I laugh hastily and wait for him to let go. Buffy still quite shocked saunters over to the sofa and sits down heavily. Angel looks from Buffy to me and the look on my face lets him know she knows. I sit down beside her and wait for her to say something.
“How long…far…gone are you?” she manages to stammer still quite bewildered at the situation.
“21 weeks” I say with certainty. She nods but still looks puzzled.
“Who’s the father?” she asks abruptly. I tilt my head slightly not really wanting to answer but if I don’t she’ll assume the worst.
“Spike” I whisper…but now she’s going to assume the worst anyways because she’ll have forgotten about that little escapade.
“Oh” she hiccups and looks near to tears. So she didn’t forget then.
“Look it’s alright though, Angel is really helping me out and I couldn’t be happier” I lie and smile, she holds my hand and squeezes it.
“Well if there’s anything I can do just ask” she laughs gently and looks away from me. She thinks I’m unclean I know it.
An awkward silence falls over the room and isn’t broken until I sit chuckling to myself.

“Whatever is so hilarious Faith?” Angel barks across the room from the kitchen, Buffy looks up at me completely baffled by me; it’s so weird it’s like bubbles in my tummy.
“The baby is moving” I giggle and hold my bump, Buffy smiles excitedly and shuffles closer to me, I take her hand and place it on me, she nearly snatches back in shock but continues to rub her hand across my firm stomach.
“It’s amazing” she whispers. Angel draws back into the kitchen slightly put out, I bite my lip.
“Angel, come feel it?” I offer, he shrugs his shoulders a little but I grin for him to come over. He kneels down in front of me and moves his hand where Buffy’s once was. He beams at the things he can feel and I smile at him like the father he should be.

The fun doesn’t last long, the next day Buffy goes back to Sunnydale and Angel and I are left alone together…in silence…neither of us want to talk about what had happened. It’s not like we were drunk we were both consensual to it, I kick the bed and cry out in pain, bastard bed. I feel like everyone has brainwashed me into keeping this baby, I don’t even want it. What am I talking about no one has told me I can’t do what I want with it I just assumed I had to keep it…I wonder if it’s too late…