Here and Now

"And she's back." My sincerest apologies for the hiatus, but, well, when my shitty internet service decided to wpropproperly, I couldn't get into the web site to make the updates. Now, they've decided to both work at the same time, and here is the update. Therefore, I've put two chaps in one. If you're still reading this, then please let me know and hit me up with a review. Even if it's like only two words. And to those of you who sent me emails to make an update, I thank you profusely.


Willow was in good spirits. Buffy was a blast to have around. She was actually quite down to earth once you got to know her. Evidently, Dawn thought so too. It appeared as if the two had known each other their whole lives. It was almost as if they had some sort of instantaneous connection, well, once the ice was broken. They couldn't stop laughing and talking and giggling at stupid things together. It was actually quite refreshing to see. She couldn't remember the last time Dawn laughing out loud like that. How unfortunate it would all have to end. Well, for Dawn at least.

She knew what type of man Spike was, and she knew that he'd be mightily P.O.ed at the idea of his daughter becoming overly familiar with some female who wasn't apart of their "inner circle." Especially one of which he planned on dating, screwing, whatever. Dawn never once met one of her father's "lady friends," and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now. But, it all seemed so unfair. If Buffy could actually succeed at making Dawn and Spike happy, then why not give it a chance? Of course, as soon as she heard the doorbell ring and saw Spike on her front porch, attempting to cover up his already surly mood, she knew the jig was up. She gave a quick glance to her couch where the two were before looking at Spike again. Her nervous look probably gave way to him that something not to his liking was happening, but his rigid stance at seeing his only child with Buffy sealed the deal. *Poor Dawnie.* She thought. If only he knew how truly lonely she was...

*****************

Spike was pissed. Really, really pissed. His agent gave him the bad news of how the publishers weren't too sure of his latest manuscript. Said it was lacking. They were vague and ambiguous about what the hell they waned. Didn't they think it would carry the same appeal as his previous books? Guess not.

"Bloody, id, id, bastards. Don't know a work of art if it were to bite 'em in the ass." He muttered to himself as he drove down the highway in his black Escalade, blasting the Ramones. He was in one of his two favorite cars (the other being his vintage DeSoto at home), playing one of his riterite CDs, and legally speeding down the asphalt. And still, he was mad as hell. *But,* he thought, *I have to get myself together. Wouldn't do any good to let Dawnie see her old man in a pissy mood.*

Dawn and he had an excellent father-daughter relationship. He hated her seeing him in an unpleasant mood. He was always quick to acquiesce her, giving her whatevhe nhe needed or wanted. Except in that one moment when he entered the Harris residence. He knew something was up from the nervous look Willow was giving him. He stepped inside warily, and then he saw her, all smiles, sitting in between the legs of one Buffy Summers while she played in her hair. It didn't take a genius to see how close they were becoming in under twenty-four hours. God, how he hated making the hard decisions. The last thing he needed was to see the two of them become close.

'It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.'

*Hah! Sod that.* He thought to himself. Dawn deserved the best of everything. Especially after Dru... She didn't need someone else abandoning her, for whatever reason. Even if she didn't know it ever happened in the first place.

"Come on Dawn, I promise it'll be cute!" Buffy said with a giggle in her voice.

"Yea right! I can feel how stupid it's gonna look! Maybe I should do your hair." Dawn said in between laughs.

"Hey, Bit. Time to go." He said solemnly. The two raised their heads in sync with one another and looked at him. Dawn with a sudden look of disappointment at having to leave, and Buffy with one of surprise at his presence.

"Hey Spike." Jesse said from his spot on the floor, all the while not taking his eyes off of the television from his precious video game.

"Hey Spike. Just stopped by to say hello." Buffy said as she got up from her seat, walking towards him. Spike smiled lightly at her. He wasn't reallying ing attention, actually. He focusing on getting out of there as soon as possible, his mind screaming to Dawn "Hurry up!" every so often. It was a complicated situation that he wanted to avoid completely. But, the longer he stood in front of Buffy, the longer he'd have to talk to her- about his personal, family life. *Damn.*

"Didn't know you had a kid." She stated, still all smiles. Seemingly happy at the idea of him having a kid. *Yeah, right.*

"Oh, well, never came up, did it? And how bout you? I'm guessing no on the kiddie front?" He asked, trying to turn the conversation to personal information about her.

"Nah. But Dawn is totally cool. I'm so glad we met. So, we still on?" She asked happily.

"What? Oh, yeah. Sure." He said uneasily. Buffy glanced briefly at Dawn as she slowly put on her shoes before looking back at him.

"Well, Dawn and I were talking, and uh, we were wondering if the three of us could do something together?" Spike's eyes nearly popped out of his head at the seemingly innocent question. *What the bloody hell was she thinking?*

**************

Buffy wasn't that surprised at the look on Spike's face. In fact, she was kind of expecting it. But what could she do? It was all Dawn's fault; suckering her with her big, blue eyes and fast talking.

'Oh, come on Buffy! It'll be fun. We get to hang out again, and my dad'll have to pay for everything! I mean, we could like go out during the early day, and then if you really wanted some "grown up" time, though I mean, I don't see what the whole big deal is anyways, I could always come back here and hang with Jesse or something. Come on! Please, please, you haveta at least ask him. The worst that could happen is that he'll say no." She pleaded earlier with her.

Buffy had to admit, though, it certainly would be interesting. Dawn was fun, and Spike intrigued her. She had nothing to lose, really. She would like to spend time with them, that is, if Spike allowed it.

She could understand his being over protective. Really, she could. But she could identify with Dawn more. She knew exactly what it was like to grow up with out a mom. Hell, she didn't even have real friends until she went to college. Her dad always doted on her, giving her the best of everything, but never really any affection. Elizabeth was a lonely, only child. She would hate it if Dawn was subjected to the same fate as her. She liked Willow, and she liked the Giles'. Buffy definitely wanted to get to know them better.
“Hey, this is nice.” Cordelia commented offhandedly as she strolled beside Angel in the park. He continued to push the umbrella stroller in silence.

“Do you think the lil guy would like to stretch his legs a bit?” She asked as she looked up at him. He glanced down at her and gave a quick nod before stopping. He bent down to unbuckle Connor from the stroller. Taking initiative, Cordelia grabbed the toddler before daddy had a chance to and picked him up, swinging him around slowly in her arms.

“Uh, be careful with him.” Angel admonished as he watched his son squeal in delight to a broad smiling Cordy.

“Boy, I didn’t ever think I’d get the chance to hold the little tyke. I think he actually likes me. Shocker.” Cordy said as she stopped, looking at a now less worried Angel. He lowered his eyes a bit before responding.

”Sorry. I just- I just worry a lot I guess.” He admitted sheepishly. Cordelia gave him a warm smile.

“Hey, it’s no problem. I can understand your sentiments. ‘The over protective, single parent.’ Just, try to get over it, kay?” She said with lightness in her voice. He smiled slightly at the truth in her words.

“I’ll try. But I’m not making any promises.” He said as he extended his hand toake ake on the deal” of actually trying.

“Deal.” She said as she firmly grasped his hand. For a moment they locked eyes at the contact, but Angel abruptly shrugged it off.

“You seem pretty good with kids. Had any previous experiences?” He asked as he folded up the stroller. Cordelia gave him a funny look while he had his back to her and then “accidentally” checked out his cute ass. Oops! she tho to to herself before realizing she hadn’t replied to his question.

“Umm, just a little bit with a cousin of mine, but I’d personally like to think I just have a natural proclivity for it. Somehow I get the impression that this is turning out to be some sort of weirdo babysitter interview.” She joked. Angel stood up and regarded her carefully.

“No, it’s just... I find you to be an interesting woman, Cordelia Chase.” He smiled at her surprised expression before walking again. Cordelia was intrigued by him, to say the least. She glanced down at the little boy walking down beside her with a genuine smile gracing her uresures.

“Thanks, Lilah.” She said quietly to herself as she continued down the path next to Angel.

“Aaah!” Buffy and Dawn screamed with delight in unison. Spike couldn’t help but smile at their infectious glee. They opted for spending a day at the amusement park. What was it about roller coasters that got people in a really good mood? I mean honestly, ever noticed how having the piss scared out of you brings a closeness amongst family and friends? Not that Spike was scared in the least. Well, at least not scared of the ride.

Being able to observe Buffy and Dawn together warmed the cockles of his heart. And he also admitted to himself (although reluctantly) that the three of them did mesh well. Almost as if they had some sort of automatic connection. Buffy was wonderful. Funny, caring, gentle, and smiles annshinshine all rolled into one. But there was still a problem, however. He used to feel the same about a raven haired beauty long ago. She later crushed him with his own fegs. gs. The incident made him a better man, though. He could take the loss if it ever occurred. But what of his little girl? He desperately wanted to keep her as far away as humanly possible from pain, heartbreak, and suffering. But on that samken,ken, by sheltering her, was he also keeping her away from happiness?

Later on that night after dinner as promised, Dawn was left in the Harris’ care for a sleep over. Buffy and Spike found themselves at the beach to (gasps) talk.

“You and Dawnie seem to be hittin’ it off really well.” Spike said as he glanced at the star lit sky. Taking a quick look at his chiseled features and then abruptly looking ahead of her, Buffy responded.

“Yeah. She’s kind of like that little sister I’ve always wanted. It was hell growing up as an only child.”

“I never knew ely wly what that was like. I was an only child, but Wes moved in with us when I was four.”

“It must have been fun. Having someone to relate to.”

“Uh, yea. I guess so. I’m guessing you didn’t?” He prodded.

“No. I wasn’t so lucky. I didn’t have many friends either. Then I lost my mom on top of that, and-“

“You lost your mum?” He accidently interrupted, stopping in his tracks. Buffy eyes grew wide at her own admission. She didn’t like to discuss her private life with, well, anyone. Particularly the painful memories of losing her mom, but somewhere inside of her, she fehe nhe need to tell him of the loss. She felt the insane need to be honest with him. God, I’m losing it. She thought.

“Yeah. Complications after surgery. She had a brain tumor.” She finished as she looked out at the dark waters.

“How old were you?” He asked in a quiet voice.

“Ten. Dad didn’t pay much attention to me after that. You know, he couldn’t deal with it himself, and avoided dealing with me all together. I was sent to boarding school soon after.”

“Sorry to hear that, pet.” Taking a deep breath, he decided to disclose some secrets of his own. Out of habit, he raked his fingers through his hair, slightly disheveling the gel.

“I was sixteen. But luckily for me, I still had my dad and Wes. Don’t know what I’ve done without them.”

“It’s nice to have someone to count on. But I didn’t get that tillh lah later. Lilah and the girls are my support group.” Spike tilted his head thoughtfully at that.

“I suppose the guys are mine too.” Hed wid with a slight grin. Buffy got a somber look on her face at that before asking a personal question quietly.

“Were they there for you when Dawn’s mom died? Death is a hard thing to cope with.” She said seriously. Spike gave her an incredulous look before asking her harshly, “Who the bloody hell told you anything about Dawn’s mother?”

TBC