Disclaimer: I do not own
Buffy or any of its characters, unless Joss Whedon takes pity on my poor soul
and gives them to me. Anyone who sues shall be paid in pocket lint and dirt.
Actually better make that dirt I’m running out of lint.
style='font-size:14.0pt'>************************************************************************
style='font-size:14.0pt'>
AN:
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> There has been some concern that this is not
going to be Spuffy until the very end.
THIS IS NOT THE CASE. I
have a clear plan of where this is headed and there will definitely be lots of
Spuffy coming up. There also has been some suggestion that this story is in the
wrong place and at the moment I agree.
But as its going to end up mostly Spuffy I’m
leaving it where it is rather than move it, then move it back.
******************************************************************************************
style='font-size:14.0pt'>
style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'>Chapter 9
style='mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy stared at her reflection in the
mirror. Her lips were swollen from
rubbing the blood away. s'> She clutched the
side of basin as memories assailed her, memories of her lips being swollen from
other activities ‘Rebecca’s lips now’ she felt pain cramp her insides at
that thought.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy leant back against the wall sliding
down to the floor there was no more denying it.
She was jealous. Rebecca had come
back and Spike had run into her willing open arms and forgotten all about
Buffy. ‘Well maybe not forgotten there
was that kiss on patrol last night.’
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>But he had made a choice and it hadn’t been
her ‘What did I expect anyway. Oh
Buffy I love the way you beat on me and use me for sex, and treat me like
shit. Please oh Please Buffy I don’t
want to go back to my wife who loves me and treats me like a man.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I want to stay with you hidden away to be
used at your convenience.’ Buffy let
the sarcastic little voice echo through her head. She closed her eyes and saw
the image of Spike and Rebecca kissing, clearly in love and happy.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> ‘That could have been me, if I hadn’t been
so scared. Now I can never get him
back. I can never tell him how I really
feel.’ Tears started to fall down
her face once more “Oh God” shesperspered to the room “What have I done”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> she drew her legs up hugging them to
herself.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Downstairs Dawn coughed softly, then more
loudly, then so loudly that she thought that they could hear her in style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Australiastyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>. The
three couples continued to kiss, so Dawn did what any self respecting teenager
would do, she went for the Oscar winning performance.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Clutching at her throat Dawn started to make
a choking noise stumbling forward she threw herself towards the couple on the
couch, clawing at her throat eyes round with fright.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She then stumbled backwards, fell to her
knees gasping for breathe before gracefully collapsing into a heap on the
floor.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>The couples had broken apart during Dawn’s
performance and were now crowded around her frantically searching for signs of
injury. Giles was gently patting Dawns
cheeks “Dawn, Dawn! Where’s Buffy?
Someone get Buffy!” Willow dashed upstairs to find her.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Spike felt fear start to curl its way
through him, until he sensed something else.
He sat back and listened carefully.
There. A strong steady heartbeat
became clear through all the noise.
There was something else, he moved closer listening intently.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> There it was again a soft low sound that
sounded suspiciously like a...”She’s foxin” shouted Spike as he sprung forward to tickle Dawn mercilessly.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Dawn squealed arms flailing as she twisted
away from Spike’s evil hands. She jumped
up dashing out of the room towards the kitchen Spike in hot pursuit.style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy lifted her head sharply when she heard
a scream ‘Dawn’ she jumped up running down the stairs, colliding with style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Willowstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> half way down.style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Willowstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> had stopped when she had heard the squeal
from the living room; she turned in time to see a Dawn shaped blur dash past
just before something hard hit her in the back and sent her tumbling down.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Spike reached the stairs as Buffy and style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Willowstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> came to rest at the bottom, he tried to
stop but his momentum carried him forward.
The three of them ended up in a tangled mess on the floor.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy moaned lightly as Spike landed on top
of her, she rolled her hips slightly and felt him harden in response.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Spike pulled back to stare into her eyes
“Don’t”. Buffy saw it then, the desire
for her that was still there. The only
problem was that the pain was still there also.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Spike stood up, quickly moving away from her
as Rebecca caught up to him.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Are you ok?” Rebecca frantically ran her
hands across his torso “How’s your shoulder?
Did you reopen your wound?” The worry was evident in Rebecca’s voice.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“S’ok luv, nearly all healed.” Spike stilled
her frantic hands as he reassured her.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>That’s when Buffy saw it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Love. ‘So
that’s what it looks like’ she thought.
She had thought she’d seen it before with style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Willowstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> and style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Tarastyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> but theirs had somehow been broken and had
yet to be rebuilt fully. Xander and Anya
had also come close but what she saw with Spike and Rebecca was different.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Nothing could ever break the bond between
them, not death or demons and most certainly not her.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> ‘That’s what he was looking for with
me. What I denied him, what I denied
myself.’
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy let herself feel one more moment of
self pity before putting Willow’s resolve face firmly into place.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Did she love Spike? ‘Yes’
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Had she done anything to make herself worthy
of his love ‘No’
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Did she want him to be happy ‘Yes, she
did, and if being with Rebecca made him happy then she would just have to
accept that.’
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Buffy.”
Willowstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> pushed on her friends shoulders
“BUFFY! I can’t get up”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy realised that she was still laying
across her friends legs “Oops sorry Will.”
They manage to untangle themselves and stand up brushing themselves off.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“What was all that about?” Buffy asked as
she looked at Dawn.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Dawn tried her best to look innocent.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “What??
I didn’t do anything.” She put
her hand to her throat “Just had a little tickle”style='mso-spacerun:yes'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Nib” Spike said in a warning tone “You
scared us half to death”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Dawn raised an eyebrow “Half?”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Spike smirked “Well some of us more to
death”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Dawn widened her eyes and jutted her bottom
lip out “Well it’s not my fault you were
all…uhmm….otherwise occupied.” she lowered her head and peeked up through her
lashes at him “What with the sticking of tongues down throats and the roaming
hands. And just what was Giles doing to
make Anya make those noises. I AM SO
SCARRED FOR LIFE.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Speaking of Giles and Anya.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Where are they?” style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Tarastyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> started to look around only now noticing
the absent couple.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>*****************************************************************************************
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>On the back porch Giles and Anya were once
again engaged in some serious kissing.
Giles gently broke from the kiss ‘Anya, we need to discuss this.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I need to know”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Anya placed her finger against his lips
silencing him. “Shhh...You want to know if I’m doing this to hurt Xander.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Giles noddedstyle='mso-spacerun:yes“Xander hurt me.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I want to hurt him back.”n
sn
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Giles’s face fell when he heard this.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Anya placed her hands on his face “But I
would never use you to hurt him. I would
never hurt you that way.” Anya sighed
and pulled him to sit on the steps. “Do
you remember when Willow did her forgetting spell?”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Giles nodded “When we thought we were
engaged and we…we” he had thought of that kiss often.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“When we kissed.” Anya looked down
uncharacteristically uncertain of herself.
“I thought about it all the time.
I loved Xander and would never have hurt him for anything, but sometimes
I would wonder what it would have been like to be with you.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> For you to love me for real.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> She looked up at him waiting.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Giles didn’t know what to do; he felt the
same way, but what about his loyalty to Xander.
Giles reached up to remove his glasses and began to slowly wipe them
clean.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Oh for goodness sake Rupert” Anya snatched
the glasses from his hand and tossed them into the yard. “Do you feel the same
way? Yes or No?”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Yes”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Anya’s smile was almost blinding “I promise
to give you many satisfying orgasms.” She started to pepper his face with
kisses.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
Willowstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'> stood at the back door and slowly backed
away. She didn’t know how Xander was
going to react but she was happy the Giles had finally found someone.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
p clp class=MsoNormal style='text-align:justify;text-justify:inter-ideograph'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>She walked into the living room “I think
they’re going to be a little bit longer”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“What are they making with the smooches
again?” Joked Dawn only to see loo look
on Willowstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>’s face “Oh!”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Tara and I might go see if we can find
Xander. Make sure he’s Ok”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Can I come too?” Dawn didn’t want to stay
home if it meant that she had to watch Giles and Anya getting all with the
hands again.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Sure Dawnie we’ll even spring for a
milkshake.” The two Wicca’s waved
goodbye to the others promising to return that evening.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy looked at the other two “So … um …
Spike Iposepose you’re going to be staying again tonight?”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Spike grasped Rebecca’s hand “If that’s ok
with you pet.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy thought for a moment “That’s fine,
although we’ll have to organise something more permanent for the sleeping
arrangements. You might want to head to
your crypt and get some of your things Spike.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Spike stood and placed a tender kiss on
Rebecca’s forehead “Might as well do it now.
Won’t be long luv” he grabbed his blanket from near the door and made a
dash for the entrance to the sewers.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>**************************************************************************************
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Rebecca gazed out the window until Spike
disappeared from sight, breathing a sigh of relief when he made his destination
safely. She turned around and pinned
Buffy with an assessing gaze. “We need
to talk.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“If you have more to say about Travers maybe
we should wait for the others.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Rebecca shook her head “No this is about
William.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy sat perching nervously on the edge of
the sofa.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Rebecca’s gaze hardened as she assessed the
woman who had treated her William so badly “I know what you did to him, how you
used him.” Buffy gasped “He told me all
about your relationship with him. Did
you think he wouldn’t?”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy looked down at her hands ashamed “I…
wasn’t coping well being back. I needed
to feel”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“So you used him and discarded him” Rebecca
let the venom drip from her words. “You
took the one person that loved you unconditionally and abused him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You beat him so badly you almost killed him”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy felt the old excuses tumble from her
mouth “But he’s not a person, he’s a demon, he doesn’t feel...”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“Bullshit!” Rebecca was furious “He is more
of a person than you. That man has more
love inside him than you could ever need.
And you used that love to crush him”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy sobbed “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I was so scared.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Rebecca looked her up and down “Of
what? Your friends?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> What other people would think?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> You’re a grown woman Buffy, that’s no excuse
to abuse someone.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy cried harder “I know.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I’m sorry.
I realise that I was wrong.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Rebecca sighed and let her attitude soften
“He still loves you Buffy. He always
will.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Buffy looked at her stunned at Rebecca’s
comments.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>“That is how William loves.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Once you have his love he will never withdraw
it. That’s why I know he will not betray
me with you. He loves me.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He always has and he always will.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I know that.
I am not threatened by you. Just
so you know.”
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>Rebecca stood and began to walk away before
softly adding “When…If you get the chance to be with him again.” She turned to
look at Buffy “Don’t reject him, take everything he has to give you and return
it. You’ll be stronger for it.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Rebecca smiled softly and walked upstairs.
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>
style='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>********************************************************************************
style='font-size:14.0pt'>
