Forgive Me Father, For I Have Sinned
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
4,705
Reviews:
51
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Buffy/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
4,705
Reviews:
51
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Truths and Consequences
"Hello Sister Buffy, Father William" Willow spoke first.
Buffy and William stayed silent. It was as if their lips had been rendered unable to speak.
Finally William spoke, "Umm..tisn\isn't what it might look like" he motioned between himself and Buffy.
"Oh, so you two aren't madly in love and sneaking off so you can have carnal relations?" Tara squeaked out.
"Oh God" Buffy cupped her face in her hands in shame.
"Father, Sister, please sit down and talk with us." Willow said.
"We're not here to judge you. We just want to tell you a story" Tara said softly.
"A story?" William questioned.
"Yes, a story about two people who fell in love. Two people who shouldn't have. Two people who live in misery because they can never be together." Willow said sadly as she looked at Sister Tara.
"What?" Buffy finally looked up.
"What Willow is trying to say is that we both know exactly what you two are going through. The difference between you and us is that you two can actually be together if you so choose." Tara explained.
"Wait a minute..." William began, clearly confused.
"You mean..you and..you? her and you? you and her?" Buffy's eyes widened.
"Yes and Yes" Willow replied.
"Oh. OH" William finally clued in.
"So what exactly are you saying here?" William questioned.
"We're saying, we chose to stay in the convent. We knew that our love went against the Church's teachings and we decided to choose our faith over feelings. We have to live with it everyday. It's a struggle. You two are not held by such bounds. You could leave the order and be together, still with the blessing of the Church. We wanted to tell you to follow your hearts. Don't let yourself become bitter and angry and bound by the cloth if that is not your true calling." Tara informed them.
"Don't end up like us." Willow sighed.
William slumped down on the bed as he digested this new information.
"I am counting on you to keep what we've said here in confidence." Willow said firmly.
"Of...of course." Buffy said.
"Others are already starting to talk and soon all will know. It's time to make a choice...for good." Willow informed them.
"We'll leave you two to talk it over. God bless you." Tara said and with that, her and Willow left the small chapel.
Buffy sat down next to William and looked at her hands.
"I'm so sorry Buffy. Here I am playing this all fun and games with you and it's really serious, isn't it?" William looked at her.
"Yes...it's finally sunk in to me too. Which, I guess is exactly what Sister Willod Tad Tara wanted." Buffy replied.
"I love the Church, Buffy. I've been a priest or trying to become a priest almost my entire life." William said.
Buffy felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"I understand. I promise I won't bother you. I'll ask for a transfer. We won't have to see each other again." Buffy stammered as the tears began to fall.
"No. NO! What are you talking about? Buffy? You didn't let me finish." William turned to her and took her face in his hands.
"I'm sorry...fffinish" Buffy managed to get out.
"I love being a priest, Buffy...but...I love...I love you more. Something was always missing. All these years. I finally found it with you. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to. I want to be with you. I want you to be my wife. I've never wanted anything so much. Not even wanting to become a priest." William explained to her.
"Oh, William. I love you so much. I feel the same way. I feel like meeting you just stripped away all the reasons I had for joining the order...and it scares me. Was my faith so little?" Buffy said.
"Oh Buffy, no. You still have your faith. It will just be directed in a different way." William replied.
"You'd be willing to leave the priesthood for me?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"Yes. Just say the word and I'll do it." William responded.
Buffy started to cry and then jumped up, "I'm a horrible jezebel. I have turned away a man of God from God. They should burn me at the stake."
"Now, Buffy! Don't! Isn't that a little bit melodramatic?" William grabbed her by the shoulders.
"No..it's the truth. William...I...can't. I just can't live with myself...." Buffy broke free from his grasp and ran from the chapel leaving a stricken William behialonalone and confused.
Continued in Chapter 9- Confessions
Buffy and William stayed silent. It was as if their lips had been rendered unable to speak.
Finally William spoke, "Umm..tisn\isn't what it might look like" he motioned between himself and Buffy.
"Oh, so you two aren't madly in love and sneaking off so you can have carnal relations?" Tara squeaked out.
"Oh God" Buffy cupped her face in her hands in shame.
"Father, Sister, please sit down and talk with us." Willow said.
"We're not here to judge you. We just want to tell you a story" Tara said softly.
"A story?" William questioned.
"Yes, a story about two people who fell in love. Two people who shouldn't have. Two people who live in misery because they can never be together." Willow said sadly as she looked at Sister Tara.
"What?" Buffy finally looked up.
"What Willow is trying to say is that we both know exactly what you two are going through. The difference between you and us is that you two can actually be together if you so choose." Tara explained.
"Wait a minute..." William began, clearly confused.
"You mean..you and..you? her and you? you and her?" Buffy's eyes widened.
"Yes and Yes" Willow replied.
"Oh. OH" William finally clued in.
"So what exactly are you saying here?" William questioned.
"We're saying, we chose to stay in the convent. We knew that our love went against the Church's teachings and we decided to choose our faith over feelings. We have to live with it everyday. It's a struggle. You two are not held by such bounds. You could leave the order and be together, still with the blessing of the Church. We wanted to tell you to follow your hearts. Don't let yourself become bitter and angry and bound by the cloth if that is not your true calling." Tara informed them.
"Don't end up like us." Willow sighed.
William slumped down on the bed as he digested this new information.
"I am counting on you to keep what we've said here in confidence." Willow said firmly.
"Of...of course." Buffy said.
"Others are already starting to talk and soon all will know. It's time to make a choice...for good." Willow informed them.
"We'll leave you two to talk it over. God bless you." Tara said and with that, her and Willow left the small chapel.
Buffy sat down next to William and looked at her hands.
"I'm so sorry Buffy. Here I am playing this all fun and games with you and it's really serious, isn't it?" William looked at her.
"Yes...it's finally sunk in to me too. Which, I guess is exactly what Sister Willod Tad Tara wanted." Buffy replied.
"I love the Church, Buffy. I've been a priest or trying to become a priest almost my entire life." William said.
Buffy felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"I understand. I promise I won't bother you. I'll ask for a transfer. We won't have to see each other again." Buffy stammered as the tears began to fall.
"No. NO! What are you talking about? Buffy? You didn't let me finish." William turned to her and took her face in his hands.
"I'm sorry...fffinish" Buffy managed to get out.
"I love being a priest, Buffy...but...I love...I love you more. Something was always missing. All these years. I finally found it with you. I can't imagine my life without you. I don't want to. I want to be with you. I want you to be my wife. I've never wanted anything so much. Not even wanting to become a priest." William explained to her.
"Oh, William. I love you so much. I feel the same way. I feel like meeting you just stripped away all the reasons I had for joining the order...and it scares me. Was my faith so little?" Buffy said.
"Oh Buffy, no. You still have your faith. It will just be directed in a different way." William replied.
"You'd be willing to leave the priesthood for me?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"Yes. Just say the word and I'll do it." William responded.
Buffy started to cry and then jumped up, "I'm a horrible jezebel. I have turned away a man of God from God. They should burn me at the stake."
"Now, Buffy! Don't! Isn't that a little bit melodramatic?" William grabbed her by the shoulders.
"No..it's the truth. William...I...can't. I just can't live with myself...." Buffy broke free from his grasp and ran from the chapel leaving a stricken William behialonalone and confused.
Continued in Chapter 9- Confessions