Watchers Council

Chapter 9

“I remember how much he took to the watcher’s retreat for a weekend, I can’t believe he only had two bags for three weeks in the jungle” Buffy was shaking her head as she sat on the end of Dawn’s desk.

“Honestly, you can check with Xander when he gets back from dropping him off” she insisted. Dawn sighed and took a phone call while Buffy idly flicked through some papers that were sitting on the desk. Dawn pointedly took the papers out of her hands when she finished with the call. “Dinner was really nice last night, I didn’t know Alex was such a good cook”

“Yeah, but it was a bit strained” Buffy sighed. “I still can’t believe Willow hasn’t told her”

“Willow came to see Giles on Monday and she was really upset” Dawn confided quietly. “Awardwards Giles said we weren’t to bug her about this, she was going to sort it out in her own time”

“That’s all very well but he’s away for three weeks, he doesn’t have to remember not to talk about it” Buffy huffed and headed for the door.

As she pulled the door open she nearly walked into a young man who was about to knock on it. “Sorry” he mumbled and stepped aside to let her past. Once Buffy had reached the end of the corridor he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “Hey Dawn, can I have a word with Mr Giles before he leaves?”

Dawn sighed. “Danny I told you on Friday that he was leaving this morning!” she shook her head. “Don’t you have a calendar down in R&D?”

“Willow doesn’t like us to know about the passage of time” he grinned and suddenly seemed older than the shy youth who had entered the room. “So does that mean you’re in charge until Dad returns?” he nodded in the direction of Giles’ office and settled down in the chair across from her.

“Mr Giles has left me in charge of certain aref hif his jurisdiction” she used the haughty tone of voice she had been practising recently. “Perhaps if you told me what you wanted I could find the best person to deal with it for you”

“Who would be responsible for a member of staff getting some time off work?” he asked and inspected his finger nails.

“Well the head of their department will be the person directly responsible, what is it for?” she was starting to get a little intrigued despite her better judgement.

“I wanted to ask you out for dinner on Friday night and I guessed you’d want Friday afternoon off to prepare yourself” he shrugged. “Perhaps I should just postpone the request till after Mr Giles is back” he rose to leave.

“Well” Dawn checked her diary quickly and smiled up at him. “It just so happens that this is one of the areas that I’m able to deal with, and the answer would be yes, so what time will you pick me up?” she had her pen poised over her diary and looked up at him expectantly.

“How about seven thirty?” he grinned.

“That would be fine, is there anything else I can help you with?” she asked and struggled to control the answering grin.

“Perhaps” he agreed quietly and leaned across her desk to pick her hand up and kiss the back of it. “Yes, I think that’s all for the moment” he took a deep breath and closed the door behind him as he left.

*****

“So I just wondered if you needed any other files or if these will do for now?” Dawn looked around Willow’s office while holding a large bundle of files.

“I guess they’ll dostarstart with” Willow looked up, a little distracted. “I could have sent someone up for them, you should have called me” she watched Dawn as the young girl fidgeted a little and seemed inclined to remain where she was. “Is there something else?” she asked.

“Not really” Dawn mumbled unconvincingly. “I can see you’re busy so I could probably catch you later” she shrugged and dumped the files on a side table.

Willow sighed and put down her pen. “Dawnie, I know you better than that, tell me what’s wrong”

“You’ve got a guy called Danny works for you?” Dawn asked as if this was the most unimportant thing in the world. She waited for Willow to nod in agreement before continuing. “What do you know about him, is he alright?”

“Very clever software designer, we were lucky to get him” Willow tried to work out what this was about. “Is there something wrong with Danny?” she tried to get Dawn to open up a bit.

“Nope” Dawn sighed and finally sat down in the seat across from Willow’s. “He kind of asked me out on a date Friday and I like him so I said yes but there is something about him that I can’t figure out and I was hoping you might be able to help me work out what makes him tick”

Willow grinned and sat back in her seat. “I thought this was an official enquiry” she shook her head and looked to the ceiling to gather her thoughts. “He is a bit older than you but doesn’t look it” she started. “He seems to be quite popular with the students and isn’t ever short of dates on Friday and Saturday nights” she shrugged. “Other than that I can’t really help you, I only screen them for their performance at work, not play” she grinned.

“Do you think he’s just run out of girls and has finally ended up with me?” Dawn chewed her bottom lip.

“I don’t think so” Willow shook her head. “He knows you are Buffy’s sister and my friend so he is unlikely to want to mess you around”

“He knows about us?” she asked in surprise. “I mean in Sunnydale”

Willow nodded. “Some of the material he was working with in the beginning detailed our battle against Glory so he has an inkling of what we are capable of”

“Oh God” Dawn groaned. “He just wants to know what it’s like to have dinner with a glowing ball of green energy”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Willow suggested.

“No” Dawn shook her head and sighed. “I’ll see if I can catch him at lunchtime and tell him I can’t make it after all”

“You’re going to cancel the date?” Willow asked. “But I thought you liked him”

“I do but I don’t want to spend another night with someone who only wants to talk about Buffy and the battles” she looked completely fed up. “At least when Giles and I were in England they didn’t treat me like an easy introduction to the world of slayerdom”

“I don’t think Danny’s like that” Willow looked at her watch. “I’m really sorry but I have to finish this paperwork before lunch, why don’t you meet me here when you’re ready to go home and we’ll have a chat about it?”

“Sure” Dawn sighed and headed for her own office.

“Danny, have you got a minute?” Willow put the phone down and shook her head over the pile of paper in front of her. “Hey” she looked up a minute later to find him hovering in her doorway. “Come in and grab a seat” she suggested and rested her chin in her hands. “So” she took a deep breath. “You’re taking Dawn out on Friday night?” she jumped into the breach.

“Is there a problem with that?” he nodded and looked vaguely surprised.

“Nope, no problem with that at all” she shook her head and smiled to put him at ease. “It’s just that she is like a sister to me and I’d hate to think that anyone would take her out just to find out if the glow in the dark energy source stories are correct” she raised her eyebrows. “This is absolutely none of my business and Dawn would kill me if she knew I was talking to you but I don’t have the time to be subtle” she waited for his reaction.

“I just want to have dinner with her and get to know her a bit better” he shrugged. “I have read the Watcher’s diaries for that time frame but I want to spend time with the woman she is now, not the bratty teenager she’s portrayed as in them”

“Good” Willow nodded and looked embarrassed. “Sorry, but it’s not really me you need to worry about, I wouldn’t mention Buffy during Friday’s conversation if I were you”

“No problem, you’re just looking out for her” he shrugged. “Was there anything else?”

“She’s probably going to cancel the date at lunchtime, you might want to think up a good reason why she can’t” Willow suggested and opened the folder at the top of her pile of papers. She looked up to see him shaking his head as he headed back down the corridor. She tried to get back to her work but her thoughts kept returning to what she had just done. “I didn’t really interfere” she muttered to herself. “I was trying to help Dawn out.” She went to the coffee lounge and took ten minutes to try to clear her head but she still couldn’t get the nagging thought out of her head. She hadn’t thought twice about trying to fix Dawn’s problem and yet she still hadn’t even begun to think about how to fix her own. “Alex, are you busy?” she stared at the wall as she twirled the phone cable round her finger. “Nothing’s wrong, just felt like a walk in the grounds and figured we could meet up at the memorial” she sighed. “Ten minutes will be great” she looked a little sad as she finished the notes she had been working on before clearing her desk and heading out. “Danny” she looked round the corner of his office. “Sorry to interrupt again, please ignore everything I said earlier, just do whatever you think is best”

“Willow, are you OK?” he asked.

“Not so much” she smiled bravely and shook her head. “I’m probably going to be out of the office for the rest of the day, if Granger calls about the report just tell him I’ll get it to him for the end of the week” she shrugged. “Anything else, you’re in charge.” He raised his eyebrows. “I’m switching off my mobile and won’t answer the home number until tomorrow morning at the earliest.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” he offered and leaned back in his chair.

“Nope, this definitely comes under the heading of personal stuff” she shrugged her shoulders and set out for the gardens.

*****

“Hello you” Alex said quietly when she found Willow sitting on a bench in front of the large stone. “You sounded a bit weird on the phone, is everything OK?” she watched as Willow took a deep, shuddering breath and finally looked at her. “Willow, honey, what’s wrong?” Alex knew something serious was happening and her stomach suddenly felt as if an iceberg had taken up residence. “Is everyone OK?”

“Everyone’s fine” Willow nodded and took Alex’s hand in her own. “I just have some stuff to tell you and I’ve been bottling it up since we met so it’s probably going to take a while to get it all sorted out”

“What kind of stuff?” Alex patted the back of Willow’s hand and felt the claminess of her palm against her own.

“You’ve been asking about what I was like when we all lived in Sunnydale” Willow began and sniffed a little.

“I didn’t mean to pry” Alex jumped in and felt the panic starting in her chest. “If this is about me asking too many questions..”

Willow shook her head. “It’s not you, it’s me” she assured her and turned to face the memorial. “Have I ever explained this to you properly?” she asked and nodded towards the stone.

“It’s a memorial for your friends who were killed in the earthquake” Alex shrugged and turned to see if anything had changed with the stone.

“Not really” Willow shook her head. “I’m going to explain exactly what this is for and who these people were but it’s going to get really weird so just try to trust me and hear me out, OK?” she stared straight into Alex’s eyes and willed her to understand.

“You’re starting to scare me a little, Will” Alex looked concerned. “But I’ll listen to what you have to tell me”

“Let’s start with the easy stuff first” Willow took a deep breath and tried to organise her thoughts. “Xander and I were first met Buffy when she transferred to Sunnydale High” she settled back onto the bench and stared into space. “Giles was appointed Librarian at the same time and everything seemed normal until Xander, Jesse and I were attacked by vampires one night” she didn’t look at Alex. “It turned out Buffy was a vampire slayer and she was in Sunnydale because there were lots of vampires and demons around” she glanced to the side and saw Alex staring at her. “Anyway, she saved Xander and I but Jesse was turned, Xander eventually staked him a couple of days later” she pointed to the top left hand corner of the memorial. “Jesse’s name is the first on the list because he was the first person Xander and I lost, but not the last” her mouth was suddenly dry and she swallowed.

“Vampires?” Alex asked incredulously.

“Please, just bear with me” Willow ran her hands through her hair before standing up and approaching the memorial. “After Jesse was killed Xander and I persuaded Giles that we needed to help Buffy to fight bad bad guys and the four of us formed a sort of team” she smiled slightly at the good memories from the early days. “Giles was Buffy’s Watcher, assigned to train her and provide the information she would need to fight evil. He really tried to keep Xan and I out of it but we couldn’t stand by and see our friends killed without helping”

“Killed?” Alex thought the word sounded ridiculous when she said it out loud.

“There is evil in this world and some of it is contained within humans but some of it comes in the form of other beings” Willow’s hand traced the outline of some of the names. “Over the years we all lost many good friends, some of them were innocent bystanders, some were trying to fight against the evil forces. Dr Gregory, he was decapitated by a she-mantis. Jennie Calendar, she had her neck snapped by a vampire. Larry was killed during our graduation when the Mayor ascended into a giant snake and tried to eat the graduating class” she ran her finger along the row of names. “All of these people meant something to those of us who surd and and we continued to fight to make sure they didn’t die in vain” she leaned her back against the cool stone and folded her arms, finally making eye contact with Alex. “I know you think I’m insane but these things really happened and these people really died”

Alex stared at her. “But vampires, Will, I gave up believing stuff like that when the tooth fairy stopped visiting”

“I can show you some of the records of our lives, Giles used to keep very detailed diaries” Willow suggested. “But that isn’t really what I wanted to tell you” she pushed off from the stone and turned to face it again. “Over the years we all specialised in one way or another, found our niche I suppose” she shrugged and her eyes strayed to nearer the bottom of the long list. “It turned out I was pretty good at magic and Giles tutored me a little” she smiled and her eyes blurred a little as her finger rested on Tara’s name. “By the time we started college I had become quite powerful a con continued to cast spells while working with Giles on researching the things that went bump in the night” she turned as Alex crossed to stand next to her. “Over the years we had done a little more than fighting individual vampires, occasionally one of them would try to end the world and we’d become pretty adept at foiling apocalypses by the time Tara came along” she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Tara, your ex?” Alex asked and watched as Willow’s fingers caressed the name. “Did you tell her about all of this?”

“She was a practising witch and was attacked one night by a demon on her way to see me” Willow wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “Didn’t need to explain much after that and she joined the group”

“She was a witch” Alex stated matter of factly and a part of her brain decided this was the stupidest conversation she had ever had.

“Pretty powerful too” Willow nodded. “One of the bad guys used her to get at me and I thought I’d lost her”

Alex flinched at the hard look that suddenly crossed Willow’s face.

“Part of that battle was getting her back but it was also when Buffy was seriously injured” Willow had decided earlier not to mention her death and resurrection, that was Buffy’s secret to share if she chose. “After the battle I got really involved in the magics I was using and Tara and I split up because I was abusing my powers”

“What do you mean abusing your powers?” Alex asked nervously. She felt as if this was a stranger she was talking to, couldn’t find any part of her Willow in the haunted person standing in front of her.

“I became addicted to magic” Willow shrugged. “It got to the point where I couldn’t do anything for myself without using magic and I nearly got Dawn killed one night when I crashed the car we were in”

“Willow, what are you talking about?” Alex shook her head. “Do you really expect me to believe you were a witch?”

“Still am” Willow shrugged and looked around to see if anyone was nearby. “Take my hands” she held her hands out towards Alex and was relieved to see her pause for only a moment before clasping them. “Don’t scream” she said quietly and levitated them both till they were level with the top branches of the tree. “Try not to squeeze too hard” she suggested as Alex convulsively gripped her hands. She let go of one hand and reached out to pull a leaf from the nearest branch, holding it with her fingertips. “For you” she mumbled at her astounded girlfriend as the leaf transformed into a beautiful red rose.

“Willow” Alex said nervously as she took the rose from her. “Am I hallucinating?”

“Nope” Willow shook her head and slowly lowered them both to the ground. “Sorry for the side show tricks but I am a witch” she took a deep breath as her feet touched the ground. “It’s the most important thing I’ve ever asked of you” she said as Alex let go of her hand and stared at the rose. “I need you to believe that I am telling you the truth about this because the next five minutes are going to be pretty horrible and I need to know that you understand some of the background”

Alex put the rose on the ground in front of the stone and took both of Willow’s hands in hers. “What happened?” she asked quietly and led them both back to the bench. “Just tell me Will, we’ll work out whatever we need to, I just need you to tell me what’s got you so upset so that I can make it go away”

Willow took a deep breath. “Tara and I had broken up and I was really lonely for a while then I managed to kick the habit and she came back to me” Willow could feel the tears running down her cheeks but she didn’t want to release Alex’s hands to wipe them away. “We were happier than ever and I really thought we would be together for ever when she was murdered”

Alex flinched at the brutality of the statement. “Tara was murdered?” she asked and wiped some of the tears from Willow’s face. “Oh god Willow, I’m so sorry”

Willow shook her head and sniffed. “She was shot by someone who was trying to get Buffy and I flipped” she closed her eyes, remembering the lifeless body as it lay in her arms. “I lost all control and went after the guy who had done it”

“You knew him?” Alex felt as if the air had suddenly thickened and she struggled to breathe properly. A small part of her knew that Willow was telling the truth and that the revelations still to come wodecidecide their future together.

“Xander was with Buffy when she was hit and told me who had done it” she shrugged. “I don’t remember very much of what happened over the next day but eventually I tracked him down and made him pay for what he had done” Willow was breathing heavily now and her eyes were focussed on what had happened in the forest. “I killed him” she said quietly.

Alex blinked and her mind completely refused to process what she had just heard. “Willow” she said the name as if the noise would bring her back from the nightmare she was experiencing.

“I don’t have any excuses, I was acting on blind rage and I hurt a lot of people, Giles, Xander, Dawn and Buffy included” she had gone white and her hands were gripping Alex’s. “They all tried to stop me but I only wanted revenge for Tara’s death” she took a shaky breath. “Eventually my friends brought me back from the edge then Giles took me to England to try and rehabilitate me”

“You killed someone?” Alex’s brain refused to process anything after this phrase. “But what about the police, didn’t they charge you?”

“I killed him with magic, there wasn’t any body or evidence to implicate me” Willow felt Alex pull her hands away and she stared up at the clouds above them. “I’ll understand if you want to leave, I’ll stay at Buffy’s place until you can find somewhere else”

Alex was standing looking down on her. “Wait a minute” she threw her hands in the air and took a deep breath. “You tell me about the vampires and things and I’m supposed to believe you because Giles has sdiardiaries” she started to pace. “You fly me to the top of a tree and give me flowers and I’m supposed to believe that you’re a witch” she felt her own tears threatening and angrily wiped her face with her sleeve. “Then you tell me that the love of your life was murdered and you did a Charles Bronson on the guy who did it but you’ll never be convicted because you’ve hidden the body” she stopped pacing in front of the slumped figure on the bench. “Willow, what the hell is going on?” she knew she was yelling but didn’t really care. “Why are you telling me all of this, do you want to break up with me and this is just some really sick joke to frighten me off?”

Willow’s head snapped up and she stared at the furious woman in front of her. “I’m not making any of this uhe ihe insisted. “I’m telling you this because I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I can’t do that unless you know what I really am”

“You are gorgeous, sweet, intelligent, funny, cute, incredible in bed” Alex shook her head as she listed her favourite attributes. “But you aren’t a killer”

“I am” Willow nodded and closed her eyes. “I’ll live with it for the rest of my life, sometimes I can even forget about it for a few days at a time” she shrugged and opened her eyes. “But it always comes back” she grew even more serious. “If you want to love me you need to know everything that I am and this is a part of me” she saw the doubt in her girlfriend’s eyes and felt the tears well up again. “I don’t want you to go but I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now so I’m going to give you some time to think this through” she stood up and kissed Alex’s cheek, just a whisper of lips on skin. “If you want to talk to Xander, Buffy or Dawn they can probably fill in any blanks I’ve left out”

Alex watched her slowly walk off in the direction of the building site and sat down on the bench to gather her thoughts. She was still sitting there ten minutes later when Buffy gently put her hand on her shoulder. “Alex are you OK?” she asked quietly.

“I guess Willow told you” Alex said without looking up.

“She just called me to say she’d told you some of our history” Buffy sat down next to her and stayed silent, waiting for Alex to lead the conversation wherever she needed it to go.

“Is it true?” Alex finally asked. “About Tara being murdered and Willow killing the person who did it”

Buffy swallowed and concentrated on her hands. “Warren came into my back garden to kill me and fired three, maybe four shots. I had jumped to one side to push Xander out of the way and the second shot hit me in the left shoulder, just above the heart” she tried to be as dispassionate as possible. “One of the bullets went through their bedroom window and killed Tara instantly” she paused for a moment to gather herself. “Willow was standing in front of her and the blood from Tara’s wound was all over her, she wouldn’t believe she was dead at first but then she just lost it”

“She said she was a witch” Alex mumbled.

“They both were but Willow was much more powerful than Tara” Buffy stood up and went to touch Tara’s name on the memorial. “She was such a gentle person, quietly spoken and painfully shy until she knew you well enough then she had a wicked sense of humour” she smiled as she remembered her friend. “It was a bit of a shock when Willow announced that she wasn’t getting back together with her boyfriend because of Tara but we all got over it pretty quickly when we realised how happy they were together. After a few months Tara had become part of our family and her death was one of the hardest to take of them all” she indicated the long list. “They had gone through a pretty rough patch and were back together again, happier than ever, when Warren came along. I’ve never seen anyone so transformed with grief and rage, we all tried to stop Willow but she eventually got what she wanted and made him pay for what he had done.” Buffy turned to watch Alex, trying to gauge if she was making things better or worse. “Turned out ad kad killed before but it didn’t excuse what Willow did. Afterwards she was in a pretty bad way and it’s taken her a long time to function again” Buffy looked up to see some students heading towards them. She walked a little way off to divert them and then returned to sit beside Alex once again. “I know this is pretty unbelievable and you need to take your time to work through what you’re going to do, but I really think Willow deserves another chance at happiness and we’ve never seen her happier than when she’s with you”

They sat in silence for a few minutes more before Alex turned to look at Buffy. “So you’re a vampire hunter?” she asked.

“We prefer the term slayer” Buffy nodded sagely. “Giles is really the best person to give you the long and boring speech but essentially I was the chosen one in this generation to fight the forces of evil and make sure the gguysguys won out in the end”

“You were?” Alex asked and turned round to watch Buffy. She had decided to let her brain work in the background on processing the Willow thoughts and to spend some time talking about the rest of the revelations.

“There is only supposed to be one slayer, whenever they die another is called to take their place” Buffy shrugged. “I kind of upset the applecart a bit by dying twice and there were actually two of us before Willow’s big spell”

Alex didn’t even bother asking the question, she just raised her eyebrow and waited for Buffy to continue.

“Willow told you about the apocalypse spoiling part of our job” she waited for Alex to nod before smiling. “Good, that saves some time” she settled back and sorted through her thoughts. “About eighteen months ago we came up against a bad guy who was the big daddy of bad guys” she began. “It looked like curtains for all of us and we were getting beaten pretty badly till Willow came up with a spell that would allow all of the potential slayers in the world to inherit their slayer goodies without yours truly having to die again.” Buffy briefly realised how weird this conversation was and checked to make sure that Alex was still breathing and conscious. “Anyway, this allowed us to kick some serious bad guy ass but we also destroyed Sunnydale in the process” she shrugged as if she had just admitted to kicking over a sandcastle. “Once the dust had settled, literally, we realised there were now young girls all over the world who could suddenly bend iron bars with their little fingers and nobody to teach them how to use their new found powers responsibly” she indicated the main building. “Hence, Giles and his watcher buddies set up this place to accept mini-me’s from all over the world. Some of them had gotten into trouble because of their new powers and were sent here because the authorities think we are a really strict rehabilitation centre for problem girls” Buffy smiled. “If only they knew the truth”

“So you’re some kind of super hero and Willow’s a witch and Rupert is like Professor X?” Alex stood up to pace again.

“Not really a super hero, just a bit quicker and stronger than your average human and with a nifty quick healing deal thrown in” Buffy stretched her legs out in front of her and stretched her back. “Willow is one of the most powerful witches on the planet but she hardly ever uses magics these days”

“She floated me to the top of the tree” Alex pointed upwards and shook her head.

“Oh yeah” Buffy smiled. “That’s one of her favourites, the floaty thing”

“And Rupert?” Alex asked and realised that she was starting to believe some of what she was being told because Buffy was being so obviously matter of fact about everything.

“Giles” Buffy smiled and tilted her face to the sun. “Where do I start with Giles?” she took a deep breath and faced Alex again. “As much as I was always destined to be a slayer, he was destined to be a Watcher” she began. “He can fill you in on the family tradition and all of that stuff but essentially he came to train me and to be the brains of the operation” she shrugged. “He wasn’t supposed to let anyone else get involved but we ended up with a Scooby gang. He wasn’t supposed to get too personally involved with his slayer and he ended up getting fired because he stood with me against the Council of Watchers. He was supposed to go back to England once he had been fired but ended up staying with us until I pushed him away” she suddenly looked sad and Alex stopped pacing and watched as she relived the painful memories. “He kept popping back into oures aes and he nearly died stopping Willow from destroying herself and everyone else after Tara died”

“What happened?” Alex asked quietly.

“Not really sure about the correct terms to use but Willow and Giles had some kind of magical smackdown and he finally won out and managed to bring her back from the brink” Buffy shrugged. “The Watcher and Slayer have this whole mystical connection deal but it was always Willow and Giles who were closest when we were at school and college” she shook her head and they both lapsed into silence for a few minutes. “What are you going to do?” Buffy finally asked.

“I have no idea” Alex looked up at Buffy. “I haven’t felt this way about anyone before Willow and I reallyted ted to make it work for us” she shrugged. “I fell in love with the person I thought she was but now she’s telling me she is a completely different person and I don’t really know how to process that”

“I know what you mean” Buffy sniffed. “A couple of my relationships have been with guys with less than savoury pasts and it is always pretty hard to reconcile the feelings of love with the knowledge of what they’ve done”

“How did you cope?” Alex looked intrigued.

“Just dealt with them as they were at the time” Buffy shrugged, it had been quite a while since she had thought of Angel or Spike and her relationships with them. “We’re all made up of the sum of our experiences and, if you love them enough, you should accept the bad with the good”

“But Willow killedeoneeone!” Alex said and then looked around guiltily. “I mean having a boyfriend who maybe got some speeding tickets isn’t really comparable to this”

Buffy grinned. “I can relate more than you would believe but my experiences aren’t important” she looked serious and held Alex’s gaze. “What’s important is whether you can accept Willow’s past and the knowledge that she has caused one death but has saved many thousands more by her actions over the years”

Alex was sitting with her in in her hands and Buffy decided to leave her alone with her thoughts and head over to find Willow. “You can call me anytime to talk about this and you know that Dawn and Xander will help out with any questions too”

“What about Dawn and Xander?” Alex looked up, prepared to hear the worst about the others. “What are their powers?”

“They are the bravest of all of us” Buffy stood up and looked around at the memorial one last time. “They don’t have any special powers, just a commitment to keep fighting, even when it looks hopeless.” She bent down to trace the last name on the memorial. “Anya was Xander’s fiancé and, although they had their ups and downs, she died fighting with us in the last battle” She stood up and smiled at Alex. “People think Willow and I are heroes for what we achieved but Xander, Dawn, Giles and many others stood with us shoulder to shoulder in the sure and certain knowledge that at least they were going to die fighting for the right side” she sniffed a little and took a deep breath. “Nobody can make the decision for you but Willow is an extraordinary woman who will spend the rest of her life loving you if you give her the chance”

Alex watched Buffy head towards the building site and then moved to sit on the grass in front of the memorial stone. She picked up the rose and inhaled the perfume as she read through the long list of people, picking out names that Willow and Buffy had mentioned. After ten minutes or so of staring at the list without really seeing it she returned the rose and stood up, blowing out a deep breath and running her fingers through her hair. She looked towards the building site for a moment before turning in the opposite direc and and heading towards Willow’s house.

*****

Buffy headed for Xander’s office and found Mr Smythe waiting outside. “Is everything alright?” he asked anxiously and nodded over his shoulder. “She didn’t look very well when she arrived”

“She’ll be fine, just had a bit of a shock” Buffy nodded. “I’d guess this will take up the rest of the day, can you deal with Xander’s work until we sort this out?”

“I’m stopping anyone going in and asked Ms Summers to divert all of his calls to my mobile” Smythe held up the phone then looked towards the site. “It would be a little easier if I could have use of the office though, is there any chance you could work through the problem somewhere else?” he asked a little nervously, after all he had heard tales of their past and didn’t want to get involved in something that upset the witch this much.

“Leave it to me” Buffy nodded and tapped on the door quietly before entering. She found Xander standing in front of his desk holding an obviously distraught Willow. “Will” Buffy said quietly and moved to hug both of them. She mendernder’s eyes and he shook his head slowly. “Come on, let’s get you out of here” she whispered and slowly persuaded her friend to let go of Xander for a moment.

“I can’t go home” Willow sobbed and accepted the handkerchief that Xander offered.

“My place” Xander said and picked up his car keys. “I’ll get the car and be out front in two minutes” he nodded to Buffy and left quickly.

“I spoke to Alex” Buffy pulled Willow into another hug. “Explained things a little more and then left her to work it out”

“She hates me” Willow mumbled and buried her head into Buffy’s shoulder.

“She doesn’t hate you Will, she’s just in shock right now but she loves you, she’ll come round” Buffy glanced anxiously out of the window, looking for the car. “Here’s Xander” she breathed a sigh of relief. “Let’s get away from here and then we can try to sort this out”

“Nothing to sort out” Willow hiccuped and sobbed at the same time. “Alex is probably home right now packing”

Xander had the door opened for them and was quickly explaining something to Smythe. He clapped him on the back before sitting in the driver’s seat and pulling away. “I told Dawn where we were going and she’s trying to get hold of Giles” Xander glanced over his shoulder to tell Buffy before turning back and breaking several speed limits to get to his house in record time. Buffy grimly held onto the door handle while her other arm remained around Willow’s ominously silent form. When he stopped outside his house Buffy led Willow up the front path and shook her head at Xander once she had guided her to a chair.

“She hasn’t said a word since your office, she looks like a zombie” she whispered to Xander in the hallway. “What do we do now?” she looked back over her shoulder.

“I think we just need to be here with her and wait till she’s ready to talk about it” Xander shrugged as well. “But one of us should try to make sure Alex doesn’t leave” he looked beseechingly at Buffy.

“I don’t think we can stop her if she wants to go” Buffy shook her head. “She needs to make her own mind up and all we can do is be honest with her”

Xander made them all coffee and they sat a mug in front of Willow but she seemed to have retreated into her thoughts and it remained untouched. He tried to make small talk with Buffy but neither of them were really in the mood and eventually they all fell silent and revisited their memories of Sunnydale. After a couple of hours the phone rang and Xander nearly jumped out of his seat in shock. Buffy was standing next to it in seconds but waited for him to answer it. She watched as he talked to the caller and saw that her friend hadn’t moved, hadn’t even heard the phone ring.

“That was Dawn” Xander mumbled and nodded to the hallway, following Buffy. “She can’t get hold of Giles, his mobile isn’t getting a signal and he won’t pick up any email until he arrives at the dig site” he shrugged. “She’s tried calling Will’s place but either Alex isn’t there or she isn’t picking up”

They were standing trying to think of what to do next when Willow suddenly appeared in the way.way. “Willow?” Buffy looked into her friend’s eyes but they were glassy and unreadable.

“I need to make an international call” she said hoarsely. “I need to call some people in England”

“Sure Will, why don’t you use the one in my room” Xander pointed to his bedroom and watched as she trudged towards it. Once she was in the room and had closed the door he turned to Buffy. “She’s calling the coven isn’t she?”

“I guess so, but that’s a good sign?” Buffy bit her lower lip. “I mean if she was flipping out again she’d have the hair and veiny things going on and anyway, the coven can probably help her more than we can right now”

“I guess” he shrugged and they returned to sitting silently.