Eyes of the Soul

Title: Eyes Of The Soul

Author: Jennifer

Copyright (c) 2002 by Jennifer Johnson

Feedback: jennpurr@yahoo.com or willowtaralove@netzero.com Please, give me feedback. Good or bad. Feel free to tell me what you think. Or just post it here.

Disclaimers: All characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. This is solely for my entertainment. Please do not copyright this story.

F/F romance: If the idea of a same sex relationship bothers you, please do not read this story.

Pairings: W/T, X/A

Spoilers: Season 6. This is set after Seeing Red, but Tara never dies at the hands of Warren. The rest is just my own creativity. Oh, and Giles never left.

Summary: Tara is missing, or so the Scoobies think. What will happen when they find her?

Rating: A: minor angst and S: for smoochies

My Thanks: To Sam (Blue77) and Danie. Thanks for being my betas and for helping me out with all the suggestions. You truly are gifted for writing, both of you. I hope you continue to do so. ;) And Danie, don't forget the catnip. ;)

Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at writing Buffy fan fiction, so please tell me what you think. I usually write fan fiction for ER. I apologize for the heavy subject of W/T angst in this story, especially after what has happened to Tara. These thoughts have been floating around in my brain lately and I just wanted to see if I could turn them into a story. Willow and Tara WILL have a happy ending, if that helps. Let's just hope we get that on the show. Some of the inspiration for this came from "Unexpected Consequences" Lisa's a genius. Thanks for your story Lisa. ?




Eyes Of The Soul: Chapter 9/?
By: Jennifer



Buffy stood observing her best friend. She was still slumped over, clinging to the lifeless Jaguar in her arms. The Slayer's own tears trickling down her cheeks, due to the events that had transpired. She didn't know what to do. There was nothing she could possibly do to comfort Willow.

Giles, silently, had been playing the events through his mind. They didn't all seem to make sense, but he couldn't put his finger on where the abnormality of their occurrence lay. There was just something nagging at him, saying, "Look deeper. You'll find the answers."

He was brought out of his reverie when his eyes caught sight of his Slayer's shoulders. They were trembling. He knew Buffy wouldn't be able to keep her cool for very much longer.

Pensively, he stepped forward and squeezed her shoulder, once he reached the girl.

"Buffy... why don't we remove Rack from here and leave Willow alone for awhile?"

With teary eyes, Buffy turned to meet Giles. "Yeah... I so need to get him away from here. I'm just sorry he's already dead," she said coldly.

"Now Buffy, that's no way to... well, I take that back. You do have a point." The Watcher's voice was somewhat bitter.

Xander squeezed Anya's hand, as he removed himself from the porch to see what his friends were going to do. He and Anya had remained glued in place by the front door, not really wanting to get in the way. The carpenter didn't think he could be of any help anyhow. All he would have done was probably get him self knocked out or worse, killed in the process.

"Xander," Buffy greeted the young man when he approached. "Will you help me? I want to get Rack out of here. Anya can stay with Will and watch for nasties."

"Sure. Whatever you need," he hesitated before continuing. "... But what about..." All he could do was point at the feline.

Buffy looked over at Willow again. She was still a wreck. Currently the redhead was rocking back and forth, crying. "Um... Willow will be okay, I think. She just needs this time. We should let her have it."

"I agree," Giles reaffirmed, somewhat defeatist.

"Let's do this then." The Slayer, being the strength of the group, walked over to the remains of the Warlock and tried to think of the best strategy to remove him. After blowing out a long breath, she knelt down with her knees and began to deposit the man over her shoulder.

Xander removed his car keys from his pocket and ran to his vehicle to get it started.

Once Rack was secured in the trunk, the three of them left the scene.

*****

Anya didn't know what she could possibly do now. She didn't understand any of this. Once again, someone had died for no good reason. The ex-demon remembered back to when Joyce had died. Anya had finally come to reason with her head.

'Joyce died of natural causes,' the blonde had told herself. 'I still don't get why she can't just get back into her body. It's just lying there.'

In the demon world that was plausible. However, this situation was different. Joyce was a human and her time had come.

"Stupid humans," Anya muttered and sat down. All she could do was sit and wait.

*****

Willow sniffled and lifted her head. Her eyes were now all bloodshot and swollen from her tears. As she petted the cat's head, she thought back to all of her times with Tara. The day they met, she remembered it like it happened the day before.

Tara was her angel, her love, and the other half of her soul. She knew from the start that they were destined to be together. It was like something that had been foretold by all the powers known to man. And there would never be a day that went by during which Willow wouldn't love the other girl in all ways possible.

"Oh Tara... why did you do that? Why did you leave me," she sobbed. F tea tears erupted from her eyes and slithered to freedom. Once again, she fell over and wrapped her arms around the Jaguar.

Then, out of nowhere, a sudden sense of peace washed over Willow, filling her soul. It was heartwarming. She had never felt it before. Well, that wasn't necessarily true. She had known this kind of peace before, but there was only one possible way she could feel it. Tara, but she was gone. Wasn't she?

"No..." Willow whispered to her thoughts. Lifting her head, she wiped away the salty residue on her cheeks. Looking down, she peered on at the cat. It didn't appear to be breathing, so how was her peace even remotely comprehendible?

"Tara," she whispered again. "Where are you?"

The air around her was silent, still, the only movement being that of her own ribcage, rising and falling along with her beating heart.

Without thinking, she opened her mind. 'Tara, baby, I don't understand. You're gone, so how come I can feel you here?' She shut her eyes and shivered. As soon as the words left her head, she felt them connect.

'No. I'm not, sweetie. I'm not gone, but I need your help.'

The redhead's mind was awoken by these words. She bolted upright and almost stumbled backwards. The cat was forgotten as it lay on the ground. The calming presence again found its way into Willow's heart and warmed her from within.

"Tara?" She asked, frightened. Willow remained still in her standing position. Her eyes searching all around and landing on everything but what they were in need of. "Where are you?"

The hacker gasped when she saw one of the Jaguar's paws kick out, with a muscle spasm. She almost screamed, but somehow was able to stop the noise from coming forth.

Treading forward, she dropped to her knees beside the cat. Her hands reached out and lifted its head. Green eyes met her own. These eyes were glassed over though; they were hollow. No life was present in them.

Gasping, Willow quickly pulled her hands away and stared at the cat. "Green... but your eyes are blue. Tara, your eyes are blue. How come th..." The redhead's eyes went wide and she jumped to her feet. The truth hit her full strength.

"Amy?" Her voice squeaked. "What is going on?" She practically screamed.

*****

Anya, who was currently scowling and close to recounting just why it was more pleasurable to be a vengeance demon, was startled by Willow's shouting. She scooted off the steps and was two footfalls onto the grass when the shrilling of the phone caught her ears attention.

"Willow! Phone!" She yelled out to the redhead. When she didn't get a response, she huffed. "Fine, I'll get it," and ran up the stairs and disappeared into the house.

Willow HAD heard Anya, but her mind was too focused on her thoughts to even think about a reply. She just sat rocking back and forth as she hugged her knees to her chest. Her eyes fixed on the broken cat a few feet away. The tree that was digging into her back wasn't at all comfortable, but it was giving her the grounding that she so desperately needed.

The redhead's stare was blank. No emotion or spark in her emerald pools. They were dead and dull. Her breathing was even, however shallow. 'Why,' and 'I don't understand,' were her only inner ramblings.

Willow closed her eyes and dropped her head. She was only half aware of the warmth that was beginning to filter through her. A saddened breath fell from her lips and when she inhaled again, something else trapped itself inside her lungs.

Lifting her head, almost hesitantly, she felt it. It was a prior feeling that she had let herself become accustomed to. The presence of peace and overwhelming joy, shot through her and left her almost breathless. And then her senses came alive.

'Willow?' the voice was strangled, tired.

The redhead opened her eyes.

'W-Willow?' came through once again.

It took the girl half a second to process that which the voice belonged to. Her mind would never deny it. 'Tara?' she sent out, desperately.

'Oh Goddess, Willow? I need you,' she cried.

Willow was on her feet once the plea came through. 'Where are you, baby?'

There was a pause before Tara responded. 'Um... on the side of the house, I think.'

'Huh?' Willow thought, perplexed. 'Okay. I'm coming, Tara.' That was all she needed. She took off in a mad dash towards her destination.

'Will, I'll explain later. Just please, come help me.'

The young witch didn't ask any more questions, she just continued running. When her body flew around the side of the house, she skidded to a stop. There on the ground lay Tara. The blonde was sprawled out on her back, her features exhausted. The sacred circle around her, still kept. The candles were flickering now, the air around them disturbed.

Willow sighed, her tear ducts giving in finally, and she wept. She brought her hands up to her face and covered her mouth. The redhead's feet moved on her own accord and ever so slowly brought her to the edge of the circle around her lover.

Tara stared up at Willow, a look of relief and pure love passing over her angel-like face.

Dropping to her knees, Willow's arms shot out and gathered Tara into them. Once their bodies made contact, the candles around them flickered and soon darkness enveloped them. The moonlight was the only glow around.

"Oh God, Tara," the hacker cried. She pulled the blonde's tired, naked body to her, arms holding firmly to the shivering woman.

Tara clung to her for dear life. Their bodies so close, nothing could go between them, not even a surge of air. They held each r; gr; great sobs emitting from both girls. They were relieved and overwhelmed to be in each other's arms once again.

Willow pulled back to look at her love, bringing a hand up and caressing Tara's cheek. She looked deeply into her eyes before leaning forward and attaching herself to the other girl's lips. She held Tara's lips with her own and her free hand found its way around the blonde's body, sliding up her front until it lay over her heart.

"I love you," the hacker said, before gently kissing her again. "And I missed you. Goddess, don't scare me like that again. I thought you were... were..." the word couldn't come. She couldn't dare say it.

"Shhh..." Tara breathed and placed her finger over Willow's trembling lips. "I'm here," she kissed her, "And I love you, too." Her voice broke off at the end, her tears flowing down her cheeks again.

Pulling the blonde into her arms again, Willow just let Tara cry. Her own tears matching those of her lover's. They let go together, their souls reacquainting themselves. They hadn't been apart for too long, but it had felt like an eternity in the space of that time.

*****

"Okay, hurry up. I've got better things to do, then baby sit the grieving witch. Xander and I could be..."

"Dear Lord, Anya. Please do not finish that sentence," Giles begged into the phone.

"Fine. Just please, hurry?" she asked.

"Yes, Anya. We will be there as fast as we possibly can."

She couldn't see him, but Giles had just removed his glasses and now wore a not so amused look upon his face.

"Good! Bye," she smiled as she placed the receiver back in its holder.

Giddily, she walked back to the door to go check on Willow. After stepping out onto the porch, she immediately noticed the redhead wasn't where she had left her.

The ex-demon was startled when something out of the corner of her eye, moved. Looking in that direction, her eyes landed on the Jaguar's form.

It's muscles spasmed again, flipping it over onto its back, legs flailing out to its sides. The cat's ribcage rose and fell in shallower, upon shallower breaths as it fought to hang on.

"Oh, my... it's still alive." Anya almost screamed, watching this take place. Then suddenly, she realized what must have happened to Willow. "Ahhhh... that cat ate, Willow."

She took off running in the feline's direction and dropped down beside it, shaking the defenseless, wounded body for all it was worth. "Give her back. You can't just..." her sentence never finished itself.

She jumped when the cat started to twitch. Pulling her hands back, she just watched as its body started to morph, its paws changing into hands and feet of the human variety. The feline's tail slowly disappeared, its fur seeming to melt away, until Anya stared on at the face and naked body of Amy.

"What the..." her eyes went wide. "Amy, you ate Willow! Now give her back or Buffy, will want to reek vengeance on you!" she exclaimed.

*****

"I thought I lost you, Tara." Willow sighed, as she pulled back from the blonde's embrace to look in her eyes. "I thought you left me," her voice was shaky.

Tara lifted her tired arms and took Willow's face in her hands. "Never, baby. I'll never leave you again." She sealed her promise with a kiss. Their lips met gently, reaffirming their love. As lips brushed back and forth, both girls' bodies were pulled closely together again, arms holding on tightly.

Willow was afraid if she let go, she might wake up to find out that this was all a dream and that Tara really was gone. 'Oh God, what if this is a dream? I can't live without her,' her mind cried out.

The blonde pulled away from Willow's lips and nuzzled her temple into her lover's cheek. "No, Willow. This is not a dream. I'm really here and I love you."

Crying out with joy, the hacker's whole body shook. "I love you so much, Tara."

"I love you, too, Willow." Tara brought her forehead around and rested it against the other girl's.

Willow closed her eyes and sighed. Her arms squeezed Tara and for the first time, her b ful fully comprehended that her hands were resting on warm, bare flesh. She smiled.

"Baby?"

"Yes, Willow?" Tara took in her girlfriend's playful tone.

"Not that I'm complaining, but..." the redhead fondled the bare flesh under her hands, resting on Tara's waist. "... Why are you naked?"

"Um... I..." this made the blonde blush. "I-it was because of the spell."

"What spell?" Willow asked, confused.

"The one that Amy did."

"What, what did she do?" her voice was tinged with anger. 'If she hurt you...'

"No! She didn't hurt me. Will, can we talk about this later? I'm kinda..." as if on cue, Tara shivered into the night air.

"Awww, is my baby, chilly?" the girl, cooed.

"Yeah," Tara somewhat whined.

"Does that mean we can go in a-and make with the snugglies?" Willow beamed, with a goofy grin on her face.

"Vixen." Tara smiled back. "I promise lots of Tarasnuggles later. I just want to get dressed right now." She leaned in and kissed the tip of her girl's nose.

"Sure, sweetie. Come on." Willow reluctantly pulled herself away from Tara long enough to stand. She reached down and offered her hands to the other girl, to help her onto her feet.

Tara's legs were wobbly at first, but the redhead helped the blonde steady herself.

"You okay?" Willow asked as she wrapped an arm around Tara's waist.

"Yeah. Thanks, sweetie." She walked forward, shivering a little from the night air, but concentrated on their destination.

Once the two rounded the corner of the front yard, they weren't prepared to see Anya. The ex-demon was still kneeling on the ground, poking at the now human form of Amy.

"Oh Goddess, Willow, I'm naked!" Tara squeaked, as she watched her friend across the way. "S-she's g-gonna s-s-see me."

"Shhh, baby. It's alright. Um..." Willow paused and looked around. "Stand over here, behind the tree. She won't see you. A-and I'll go grab your robe."

"O-okay," Tara whispered.

"Be right back," she affirmed, leaving a soft kiss on her lover's lips before turning to run into the house.

Anya screamed when she saw Willow run by. "Oh my God, Willow! You're alive? I thought Amy ate you!"

Tara snickered, as she watched Anya run after Willow, yelling at her the whole way into the house.

A few minutes' later two voices could be heard, as the two fleeting girls greeted the night again.

"Anya, I did not do any dark magic or any other kind of magic to speak of, so will you please leave me alone?" Willow hissed. She was getting tired of Anya's assumptions and was about to really tell her off.

"Fine. I just assumed, since..." Any other words out of her mouth were cut off when she slammed into Willow's halted body, causing the redhead to stumble forward a few steps, almost dropping Tara's robe to the ground.

"Hey! Watch where you're going, please," she chided.

"I am sorry," the ex-demon remembered that she was supposed to apologize when something happened that wasn't supposed to, even if it wt het her fault. "... But, it wasn't my fault. You stopped in the middle of walking and I..."

Willow placed a hand in front of Anya and stopped her from talking. "Stay here, please," she said, before turning to walk over to the tree.

"Where are you going? And why do I have to stay here? I want to..."

"ANYA! I will not have you making googly eyes at my girlfriend, so please stay there."

Left with no option, or say so, the co-shop owner just crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. She hadn't processed what Willow had said yet. "Fine. I'll stay here, but I don't see what's so important over there that you need to... Tara!" She shrieked the last word and practically jumped up and down as she ran at the robed blonde stepping out from behind the tree.

Anya threw her arms around the other woman and squeezed her tightly, rocking her back and forth.

"H-hi, Anya." Tara embraced her friend and patted her back soothingly.

"You're here. I missed you." Anya cried into her ear. Her one true friend of the Scoobies was alive and well and that made her very happy.

"Y-yes, I'm here." She tried to coax herself out of the other woman's arms that were making it hard to breath. Finally, she managed to pry her body away and take a few steps back. "Thank you, Anya."

The shopkeeper's smile brightened as her blonde locks danced around her shoulders.

Willow ran her hand down Tara's arm and interlaced their fingers as she frowned at her lover's concerned features. "Baby, what is it?"

Pulling her eyes back to those searching for her own, her brow crinkled when she spoke. "A-Amy." She pointed across the yard. "Is she still alive?"

Willow squeezed the hand in hers, as she spoke softly. "No... she..."

"Yes she is. At least, she's trying to hang on," Anya stated and turned toward the woman in question. "Her breathing is very weak, though."

"She's alive?" the redhead asked, unbelievingly.

Tara pulled her lover with her, as she slowly made her way over by the other witch. She could see Amy's ribcage rising and falling in shallow breaths. "Will, we should call 911 a-and get her to a hospital."

The hacker just nodded and pulled Tara with her to go in the house. She didn't want her lover to leave her side. She needed her safe and when her eyes could lie upon her, she was relaxed.

"I'll stay here. You guys go," Anya offered and squatted back down to the ground, beside Amy.

"Thank you, Anya." Tara said before following the redhead into the house. "Will, while you call them, I'm gonna go put on some clothes." She squeezed Willow's hand and started to drop it.

Willow pulled her close for a quick kiss, before the blonde scampered up the stairs to quickly change.


The redhead was walking back into the living room, when her lover descended the stairs and briskly went to her.

Tara stepped into the open arms waiting for her and they hugged briefly. When the blonde pulled back slightly, she leaned in and kissed Willow gently, savoring in the softness that is her girl's lips.

Willow moaned before she pulled away. 'Tarakissage,' she sported a knowing smile, realizing good and well that her lover would hear her thoughts.

The blonde witch grinned. "Mmmm, but not as good as Willowkissage." She looked down at her shirt and then back up at her little vixen of a girlfriend, "And look... clothes," she teased.

Willow slowly leaned in, their lips a mere hairsbreadth apart, as she smiled. "Better not get used to 'em," she said, squeezing Tara's body.

"Yes, ma'am," the shy witch responded.

The other girl's smile quickly disappeared and her eyes fell away from the gaze that was burning into her.

"Will?" Tara was instantly concerned, her brow wrinkling with confusion.

"I..." the hacker didn't say another word; she just leaned over and buried her face into her partner's neck. Her lips vibrated against the flesh, as sobs racked through her trembling body.

"Shhh, it's okay. What's wrong, sweetie? Please tell me what's wrong." A hint of desperation tinged the blonde's voice and she ran her hand over Willow's back lovingly, holding her ever so close.

The redhead sniffed and rubbed her eyes against the soft flesh of Tara's throat, savoring in the contact; she left a soft kiss there before slowly pulling away. Her eyes found her lover's and held them firmly. "I... I missed you, so much." The young witch's bottom lip began to tremble again; it was taking everything she had to not start sobbing again.

Tara kissed Willow's forehead and then left three soft gentle kisses on her lips, before pressing her forehead to her girl's. "I missed you, too. I missed you everyday I was gone and couldn't get away. H-he had me locked up in a c-cage. Trapped there. I-I felt... like a... u-ugly..."

Not letting another word fall from those lips, Willow pressed hers to Tara's. It was the only way she knew to reassure her that none of this was her fault.

The blonde sighed into her lover's lips, not wanting to break away. She wanted to hold her like this forever and not have to worry about the real world, or the Hellmouth, or all the newly risen vampires that stalked the dusk every night. If only life could exist outside of the both of them, she would be just a little closer to feeling never-ending peace. However, she knew this was not possible. They lived ON the Hellmouth and vampires and demons would still exist, from now on.

It was useless.

Not wanting to let go just yet, Tara brought a hand up from Willow's back and slid it onto the hacker's neck, massaging the soft hair there in the back. Pressing her lips firmly to her lover's one final time, they slowly parted.

Their foreheads found their previous positions and Willow breathed in deeply, preparing her self to speak.

"Tara, you have nothing to blame yourself for, you hear me? Baby, it wasn't your fault. If I have to go on the rest of our lives together proving that to you, I will."

"Yeah?" the blonde's voice was soft, almost a whisper.

"Darn tootin'," she said, boldly. She wasn't surprised when she received a cute Taragrin in return. "There's my girl. Now, I don't wanna hear anymore, self-blamey mumbles come out of those vixeny Taralips. Okay? Cause I might just have to break out the big guns, if you do that, and I seem to remember you..."

"I love you, Willow." Tara breathed out.

A breath caught in the redhead's throat at her soul mate's admission and she smiled. The Willow babble that was seeping from her lips, long forgotten. "And I love you, Tara, so much."

Tara slid her hands down the other girl's arms and interlocked their fingers. "Do you think the ambulance is here yet?"

Willow nuzzled the blonde's forehead. "I don't know. We should probably go check, huh?"

"Yeah, we should. Plus, Anya's out there alone. We need to m-make sure she's alright."

"Okay."

The hacker squeezed her lover's hands, before dropping one, but holding firm to the other and turning to walk towards the door. She was stopped when Tara pulled on her hand again and pulled their lips back together.

She kissed her softly, her lips brushing over Willow's in a slow passionate dance.

The redhead's free hand came up and caressed Tara's cheek, as she began to pull away. "I know, me too, baby. Me too. Come on," she said gently and turned for the door once again.

Tara gripped Willow's hand firmly and wasn't, but a breath away from her lover as they stepped out into the night once again, just in time to see Xander's car pull up beside the curb on the street.

They would talk more later. Right now they had another, more pressing issue to take care of.

*****


End of Part 9