ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES

CHAPTER 81 – A QUESTION OF ETHICS

JULY 7, 2008
MONDAY
3:30pm


“Buffy? Buffy?” she heard Dawn whisper, and felt her hand on her shoulder.

She hadn’t realized that she'd fallen asleep. She quickly looked over to see that William appeared to be asleep now. His breath was steady and he was snoring softly.

Dawn was standing on the other side of the bed, behind William.

"We're here," Dawn whispered.

Buffy shook her head, confused.

"Sedona. Oak Creek Canyon, to be exact. Xander's setting up his tent. He wasn't sure if he should or not, considering," Dawn motioned to William.

"I think it'll be fine," Buffy answered.

"Do you need anything, Buffy? We're going to go ahead and start an early dinner."

"No, I'm fine. I don't want to leave him, he might wake up..."

"Okay, just let me know if you want anything. I can bring you a plate or something, a drink..."

"Maybe later. Maybe William will want something, too."


Buffy lay there for the next hour, with her eyes shut, but unable to go back to sleep. As she started smelling food, her stomach reminded her that she hadn't eaten since the piece of fry bread hours and hours ago. They hadn't even had lunch today.

She heard the door open slowly and Xander came in and with him, the smell of dinner, "Thought you might like something. Both of you," he said, holding up two plates.

"How's he doing?" he asked.

"Just sleeping, as far as I can tell," Buffy whispered, "I don't know if I should try to wake him for dinner. I don't want him to..."

"I know. I just thought I'd bring you something in case he wakes up. He pulled two cans of coke from his back pockets and set them down on the bedside table.

"Thanks, Xander."

He smiled at her, nodding.

"Oh, how's his head? Do you need any more ice?"

"Nah, the bump went down, think it's okay now."

"Alright. Let me know if you need anything."

"Xander?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Just thanks."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"See you in a while then," Xander said, closing the door after himself.

Buffy moved a little to see if it would disturb William. He didn't stir, so she carefully extricated herself from around him, and sat up in the bed, she reached over and gra one one of the plates off the table, then settled herself right next to him, so that her legs were still touching him. She didn't want him to feel for one moment that he was alone, should he wake and still be lost in that awful nightmare that he found himself in today. Just thinking about it, made her nearly lose her appetite, but she reminded herself, that she needed to keep up her strength, so that she could take care of him.

Dawn came in a while later and convinced Buffy to at least take a bathroom break. She took her place on the bed, sitting next to William.

Afterwards, Buffy took a quick walk outside, where Willow and Xander were sitting.

"Hey, Buffy," Willow said, "how's your guy?"

"Same. Guess he's sleeping now. I just don't know what he's going to be like when he wakes up. I don't think I'll be able to stand it, if he's in pain," she said quietly.

"I thought you said that the bump was down," Xander said.

"That's not what she means," Willow said, looking at Buffy with understanding.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry, Buff. I hope he's not in pain either. I've sort of grown fond of him these past few days."

Buffy smiled wryly at him, "Me, too."

He laughed softly, "I don't think that was ever in question."

"Well, in fact, you did use to question it; my morals, my sanity, my...oh, shit, Xander, I'm sorry. You were being nice and I just sounded like a bitch to you. In fact, you've been great to me and to William. I don't know what's wrong with me..."

"Forget it. Besides, you're right. Bygones, okay? He was different, I was different. Just saying, he seems okay now. He may have even been okay that past year, but there was too much going on for me to take much notice. That and well…you know why, but I'm glad you called me and that we took this trip; glad that you met Angela and thes, ts, that I got to see you, Willow, and Dawn again. And even Spike,” he said, using his former name to let Buffy know he meant it.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me, Xander.”

"Buffy?"

"Yeah, Willow?"

"I was talking to Xander and you know, this place, Sedona, was voted the most beautiful place in America a few years back in The Weekend Magazine. So...I suggested, and Xander agreed, that it might be nice to spend one day here, tomorrow. Unless you are in a hurry to get back."

She let out a sigh of relief, "I think that's a great idea. I was worried about..." she looked at them, "You knew that, didn't you?”

"Well, we thought that it might be better for William that he rest tomorrow, instead of us being on the road all day, then you winding up with him all by yourself tomorrow night. So, yeah, we kind of figured, but seriously, I'd like to see what all the hubbub is about this place, take a look around, explore, shop, see some of the art galleries that are so numerous here," Willow said.

"What about you?” Buffy said, looking at Xander, “I was going to ask yarliarlier, when you came into the bedroom, but I didn't want to be selfish, take up any more of your time, or keep you from getting back to your family. You've all done so much for us, already."

"I already talked to Angela tonight, she said it was fine, in fact, she was going to catch up with an old friend she hadn't seen for about 10 years and this will give her some more time, t"
"

“Well, I’d better get back in. Thanks you guys.”

“Don’t worry, Buffy. He’ll be okay.”

“I hope so, Willow, I hope so.”


Buffy walked into the bedroom. Dawn was still sitting in the same place.

“Anything?”

“Nope, nada. Same old, same old.”

“Okay, well, I’m back and probably for the night, so you don’t have to come back.”

“I probably will anyway,” she said, smiling as she got up, “can’t get rid of me that easy, you know that.”

“I know,” Buffy saretureturning the smile. “Thanks, Dawn.”


After Dawn had left, Buffy changed out of her clothes and into her nightgown, then crawled back into bed, once more wrapping her arms around William.

He stirred a little and seemed to shift into her embrace. She smiled, hoping that was a good sign. Besides his shivering, he hadn’t made a move in all the hours that he’d been in bed.

She pulled the covers up over them, and rubbed his back, her hand wandered up to the back of his head. She felt for the bump and was gratified to not feel it any longer. Her fingers lifted the waves of his hair, then let them fall back into place. She inhaled the smell of the shampoo he’d used yesterday and for some reason, that made her teary-eyed. Such simple things she had missed in her life, the smell of a man’s hair in the bed next to her, the warmth of a beloved one’s body, lying beside her. Man, beloved, Spike, William. These are the things that she thought of as she drifted off to sleep.


Willow told Xander and Dawn that she was going to take a short hike and try to find a clear signal so that she could call Kennedy, which was the half-truth in any case. She’d actually called Kennedy earlier in the morning before they’d even left Mesa Verde, as it had been late afternoon back home in England. However, she did need a r sir signal.

Finally, atop an outcropping, she found one. She pressed her #2 preset on her cell phone, holding the button down for a few seconds and soon heard it ringing.

“Hello?” said a sleepy voice.

“Margaret? This is Willow, I’m sorry to be calling so late, or early, as the case may be, but I need to talk to Althenea. It’s important.”

“Hang on, I’ll go get her,” Margaret said, putting the phone down.

A couple of minutes later she heard shuffling, then the phone being picked up.

“Willow? It’s Althanea, what’s up?”

Willow took a deep breath, “I have a question about ethics.”

She heard Althanea’s laugh, “At this time of night?”

Willow flustered, “Well, yeah, I…”

“I’m kidding, Willow! Tell me about it. Does it have something to do with the Shanshu Prophecy?”

Willow breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yes. Well, more like the Shanshu himself.”

Willow then told her all about what had happened that day at the Grand Canyon, William’s reaction; the fear and terror that he’d seemed to be experiencing, and his state of being since then.

Althanea listened thoughtfully, “And you’re thinking about doing what?”

Willow swallowed, “I was thinking that it might be, not only helpful, but warranted to do a ‘forgetting’ spell on William. He’s come so far since we got him out of the hospital. It seems so unfair that right before him and Buffy are finally getting home, to have this happen to him. I just wanted to give them a chance to proceed with their lives right now.”

“So you think that it was only a fluke that brought him to the Grand Canyon, to the cusp of remembering?”

Willow told her what she’d told Buffy about how everything was connected, about things, places having their own energies. Of course, Althanea knew this, she’d been one of those at the coven to teach her of those things.

“So, by your own admission, then, you can’t quantify that this was a fluke.”

“Well, no, not a fluke, but I still don’t see that this experience or him being in a catatonic state is something that can be good.”

“But things don’t always have to be ‘good,’ they just have to be. Besides, you don’t know if it was good or bad, ultimately.”

Willow sighed, “I know. That’s what I’m having trouble with. I want to fix this, fix him, make it better.”

“And there lies your ethical dilemma, am I right?”

“Yes.”

“Willow, you’ve come such a long way. When we first met, you would have never considered asking anybody about the right way to proceed, or questioned your own integrity in the use of magic. Of course, one of the things we hope to have taught you, is to trust yourself, but also not to be ashamed to ask for help when you need it.”

“So, what do you think?”

“You know that I can’t answer that for you. All I can do is to give you some things to think about, help you clarify your own thoughts. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide how to handle the gifts you’ve been given.”

“I know, but the coven granted me the power to provide William and Buffy with a protection spell…”

“Right, against outside forces that would interfere with the ultimate resolution of the prophecy.”

“Why couldn’t this fall under the guise of that? I mean, William suffering to such a degree that he can’t do anything, certainly will be a hindrance to the prophecy, wouldn’t it?”

“Assuming that it went on for another couple of years? Well, I guess so, but maybe it’s a test.”

“If it is, it’s the most damned, unfair test I’ve ever sen myn my life!” Willow said, frustrated.

“Willow, I have to go now, remember, it’s up to you how to use your magic. Just go with what your heart tells you is right and you should do okay.”

“Thanks, Althanea,” Willow said, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, Willow. Good luck.”

“Bye,” Willow said, and pressed ‘end.’ She sighed, she hated making hard decisions about her use of magic. All she knew, was that she hated seeing William suffer, hated seeing Buffy suffer right along with him, and knew that she had the tools to make it stop. What she would do with those tools, she couldn’t honestly say she knew at that moment.

She sat down on the rock she was standing on and decided to meditate on it for a while.

END CHAPTER 81