A Life to Remember

Part 14

Three months later found Willow and Angel sitting quietly in his apartment watching a movie. They weren’t talking, just snuggling close and enjoying each other’s company. Things were just starting to calm down after the whole graduation day fiasco. Everything had gone according to plan. Faith had finally managed to come to her senses and returned to the side of good. Together, she and Buffy had defeated the mayor turned demon snake, but not before the mayor got his final revenge. Just as the school was set to blow up Faith was caught in the library by two vampires who had managed to escape the outraged crowd of students. After dusting them she wasn’t quick enough to escape before the building went up in flames and was caught just as she was running out. Although she survived the blast she was sent into a coma where she rested still, three months later.

Buffy and Willow’s friendship was thankfully back on track. They often spent their free time together doing the normal teenage things. They made it a routine to visit Faith as often as they could, hoping she would make a full recovery soon. Angel often visited with them, but still found it hard to believe Faith had been taken down after just returning to the side of good. The rest of the gang had not been as forthcoming with forgiveness toward the once rouge slayer as the trio, and still held grudges, although they asked about Faith’s health more then once. Buffy and Riley often double dated with Willow and Angel, their friendships growing causing them all to become much closer. The girls were undoubtedly happy their men got along so well. Riley never noticed Angel only came out at night and still had no idea he was a vampire.

Willow and Angel’s relationship was also growing. They were steadily moving closer to professing their love physically, and it made Willow a little nervous. She was no longer afraid that Angel would leave her and she never doubted his love for her now. She knew with all she was, that he loved her. She just wasn’t sure she was ready to take such a big step in their relationship. On one hand she knew she loved him and he loved her. He would never hurt her or force her into anything. But she knew he wanted this. She knew he wanted to step up their relationship and she felt bad for holding back. She’d felt how aroused he’d get during their many kissing sessions. Willow knew he wanted her and was sure that’s what scared her. She knew nothing about the wonders of making love to a man. Angel had years, decades, even centuries on her! How was she, little Willow Rosenberg supposed to please him?

Angel watched the movie through unseeing eyes. He could feel how tense Willow was as she leaned against him and knew she was thinking about something important. Of course he had no idea what that could be. She wasn’t in school at the moment, so he knew it wasn’t that. So much had happened graduation day, maybe the stress of the Mayor had finally caught up to her. Blowing up the school had obviously taken a lot of out everyone involved. On another hand maybe she was feeling the stress of the upcoming school year weighing in on her. She would be a freshman at UC Sunnydale, and he could understand if she were worried over that. But as he sat there, feeling her tenseness and emotions he knew it was something deeper. Had she had another dream?

She hadn’t told anyone about her dreams, and he only knew by chance. One night about a month and a half ago he’d been spending the night at her house and she’d started whimpering and crying in her sleep. Her heartbeat had been beating a mile a minute and her pulse was racing. And he’d felt this all the way in her parents’ room. When he’d entered her room he was taken aback. Willow was thrashing around her bed, the covers half on half off and her fingers clenching at the sheets. He could almost taste her fear and it scared him. Not sure what to do, he’d sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. She instantly woke up at the contact and wrapped her arms around his neck. She’d pleaded with him not to leave her and kept saying it wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t known what to think at that moment and just set about trying to calm her. Since then she would tell him bits and pieces of her dreams before she’d push them to the back of her mind.

Just as Angel was about to ask her what was wrong, Willow stood up and went into the kitchen. Frowning he got up to follow her. As he entered, he stopped short and stared at the sight before him. Willow was leaning against the counter with her head in her hands, taking deep breaths. He wasn’t sure what was going on with her, but he knew it was something serious. Angel had never seen her like this before and it scared him.

“Willow?” Angel asked, slowly making his way toward her.

Willow spun around and looked at him. “Angel, I was just um…getting a drink…did you want something?”

“For you to talk to me…”

Willow watched him for a moment. Seeing what her silence was doing to him she took a deep breath.

“I just have a few things on my mind is all.”

“Ok, is there anything I can do to help?”

Images of him *helping* flashed through her mind and caused Willow to blush.

“I uh don’t think so. I’ll be fine. I just need to sort it all out in my head.”

“Willow, I’m worried about you…are you having the dreams again? Is that it?” Angel asked, pulling her into his arms.

“Um well I have been having the dreams again but that’s not it exactly. Angel, I want to tell you, I do. Its just I’m not ready for that conversation yet. Just give me a few days ok? To sort it all out?” Willow asked, wrapping her arms around his waist and looking up at him.

Angel dropped a kiss on the top of her head and nodded. “But you will talk to me right? As soon as you sort it out?”

“I promise.” Willow said, resting her head against his chest.

They stood there for a few minutes, just enjoying the feel of each other’s bodies. Angel looked down at the girl in his arms and smiled slightly. As soon as she worked whatever it was out, she would talk to him, and things would go back to the way they were. He gently lifted her chin and lowered his head, kissing her lips lightly with his own. After placing a few more kisses on her lips he moved to her cheeks. Then up to her eye- lids before making his way back down to her lips. This time he kissed her like a man kisses a woman. Passionately pressing his lips to hers, invading her mouth with his tongue. He never wanted to let her go.

Willow moaned into his mouth. What he did to her. One kiss from him could turn her to jelly. She could feel her stomach clenching and her body heating up. This was all so new to her, she wasn’t sure what she was looking for in him, but knew only he could give it to her. Willow pressed her body against his and moaned again as his hand slipped under her shirt. His hands were cool against her skin and it felt delicious on her heated flesh. Suddenly, Willow felt herself being lifted off the floor. Breaking away from the kiss she noticed she was now sitting on the counter top. Just as she was about to question his actions, he hit a sensitive spot on her neck and she could no longer think of anything but his mouth and hands on her.

Angel slowly started to move his hands up her back. Her moans and breathy pants were like music to his ears. He knew this was starting to go farther then they had taken it before, but he wanted her so much. His body ached for her and he needed her like he’d never needed anyone ever before. He moaned a little when his fingers encountered her bra. Lightly tracing the clasp his lips found hers again and he proceeded to make love to her mouth. He quickly snapped the clasp between his fingers and felt her bra give way. Slowly he brought his hand around her body and to her stomach. Her body was on fire and he felt her body tense wherever he touched her. He gently brought his hand up to her breast and pushed the bra up, before cupping her in his palm.

Willow jerked back as she felt his hand on her breast not realizing he’d undone her bra. “No.”

Angel quickly pulled his hand out of her shirt and took a small step back. Willow looked around while straightening her shirt out, trying to remember what had happened. She couldn’t believe she had let things go this far. She needed to think. Her gaze rested on Angel and her eyes widened in shock. His Shirt was un-tucked from his pants with two buttons open in the middle. His hair was sticking out all over the place and his lips were swollen slightly from their kisses.

“Oh god.” Willow groaned, making her way down the counter.

“Willow…” Angel started, but was cut off as she pressed against him in order to hop off. As Willow was pushing off the counter she accidentally pushed herself into his body, feeling his arousal and she made her way to the floor.

With a quick “Eep” Willow ran into the living room, and started collecting her things. Angel followed her and watched in silence as she put her shoes on and grabbed her bag.

“Willow…”

“I-I have to go Angel…I’ll talk to you later.” Willow said, quickly making her way ode ade and into the evening sun.

Angel growled as he watched her dash out if his door. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop her. He just wasn’t sure what had happened between them. He thought she’d been enjoying her self. He hadn’t felt any fear or nervousness until after she had stopped him. She knew he would never force her. So what was the problem?

Angel growled again before making his way into the kitchen. As he opened the fridge and pulled out two bags of blood, he realized he could still smell their arousal. He could smell his Willow in the room, smell her desire and love, with a tinge of fear to highlight it. Quickly he drained the bags without heating them, grimacing at the coldness before making his way into his room. He would sit here until one of two things happened. Her scent left the apartment or she came back to talk to him. Knowing neither would be happening soon Angel settled back against his pillows to wait.


Part 15


Willow ran through the streets of Sunnydale, hoping to make it soon. This wasn't good. Why hadn't she had more control? She just needed a few days to sort it all out! Why did they have to lose control like that?
Coming up to the house Willow frantically rang doordoorbell. *Please be home!* Willow thought anxiously waiting for someone to answer the door.

Joyce Summers looked out the window before opening her door to a somewhat hysterical Willow. The girl was visibly shaking and wringing her hands in front of her.

"Willow! What's wrong honey?" Joyce asked, ushering the girl inside.

"I um…is Buffy here?"

"She's in her room, is there something the matter?"

"No…I-I just need to speak with her. Can I um go up?"

"Of course." Joyce nodded worried something was wrong with her daughter's friend.

"Thanks Mrs. Summers." Willow said, running up the stairs.

Willow quickly opened her friend's door and slammed it shut. Leaning against it she looked at Buffy, who was now watching her with wide eyes.

"Willow?"

"I don't know what to do Buffy!" Willow cried, throwing herself on the bed beside Buffy.

"Oh Will…What happened?" Buffy asked, trying to comfort her friend.

"I'm so confused. I love him, I know I do but I don't know what I'm doing and he's gonna think I'm a little girl."

"Willow…What happened? I don't understand."

Willow took a deep breath and sat up, facing her friend.

"Buffy, I want to make love to Angel. But I'm scared."

"Willow, that's normal. You just need to talk it out with him, tell him you're scared."

"I know. And that's what I was going to do. But we were, and then we…and it happened so fast!"

"So you…did it then?"

"No…almost. And it's not his fault because I didn't tell him I needed time. We were kissing and we just started to go further and I didn't realize it at first but then I felt him…he started to… and I got scared and when I was getting down off the counter I felt his…um…and then I felt bad, but I was still nervous so I ran out and came here…"Willow rambled.

"Will?"

"Yea?"

"Breathe."

"Oh." Willow said, calming down slightly.

"Ok, now it's not a big problem ok? Angel will understand."

"But Buffy…I wanted to. I mean I didn't want to stop. I can't explain it, but I felt…it was so powerful. When it was over I could still feel this…tension and I wanted to run back in there."

"Well, Willow, it sounds like you have it all figured out then."

"W-What?"

"Willow, you want him. *You* want to make love to Angel and *he* wants to make love to you. You both love each other, so nothing else matters."

"But I…"

"No buts…do you love him?"

"Yes, but…"

"Does he love you?"

"Y-Yes."

"Then there is nothing to worry about. Willow he loves you and the fact that you've never done anything like this isn't changing that. He isn't exactly running for the hills you know. So he must want to be here, with you."

Willow sat there for a moment. Letting Buffy's words run through her mind. She had a point. As long as they both knew they loved each other, nothing else should matter. But the question was; could she do it? Could she get over her fear and make love to the man of her dreams?

"Thanks Buffy!"

"You're welcome…so you've made up your mind?"

"Yea, I'm going to talk to him, tell him what's going on and we'll see what happens. I'm still nervous, but it isn't going to stop me anymore. I love him and I know what I want now."

"Great!" Buffy said, hugging her friend tightly.

"Buff…slayer strength, bad." Willow squeaked.

"Oh! Sorry." Buffy said loosening her hold a bit.

Willow smiled and pulled back. Noticing for the first time how messy the room was.

"Buffy? Are you cleaning out your closet?"

"Ugh no…just trying to find something to wear."

"Oh no! You have a date with Riley tonight?

"Uh yea, we're going to LA for the night."

"For the night?" ow aow asked, wide eyed.

"Yea. We're staying over night at this bed and breakfast."

"Oh!" Willow exclaimed with wide eyes.

"We're not really planning anything, but whatever happens happens you know?" Buffy said, picking invisible dust from her blanket.

"Well I'm sure you guys will have fun. Just do what feels right."

"Exactly. We'll see what happens, but I'm still going to be prepared for anything."

"That's good."

"Yea." Buffy said, with a dreamy smile.

Part 16


Riley pulled up in front of the Summers' residence and sat there. What the hell was a slayer?! He thought to himself. Resting his head on the steering wheel he thought back to his conversation with Professor Walsh early that morning.

*~*~*~*~*

"We have news on Miss Summers, Agent Finn. Please sit down." Maggie Walsh said, pointing to a chair in front of her desk.

As Riley sat down, Maggie stood and crossed over to stand in front of him, leaning against the front of her desk.

"We had another operative following our target, just to make sure she wasn't…giving you the slip to say…"

Riley sat there, his head swimming with what he was being told.

"It turns out our Miss Summers, is a Vampire Slayer."

"A what?!"

"Yes, there was a myth, about a girl who has the strength and power to fight vampires and other such demons. Apparently it's a lot truer then we thought. Our Agent found her, in the cemetery of all places, killing a vampire with a stake.

"But this is impossible. I've been with her for over three months now. I've never seen her fight a vampire."

"Yes, well be that as it may, she was spotted and recorded. I'd be happy to show you the tape. She's quite impressive."

"No. I-I don't need to see it right now."

"Fine then. Now I have a new mission for you Agent Finn. It's very similar to that which you've been doing. First, I need you to find out all that you can about her slayer duties. Then once we know exactly what we're dealing with I want her to join the Initiative. She will be a great asset to out facility. I trust you will be able to…persuade her?"

"I…permission to speak freely ma'am?"

"Go ahead."

"I think this is a waste of time. Buffy is a normal girl, she doesn't have magic powers and she isn't this…slayer you think she is. I want her to be left alone."

"Riley, I understand you have feelings for her. You don't want to believe this and that's fine, but as an agent you are ordered to do this. Put your personal feelings aside and do your job. If you give me any problems with this…well I'd like to think it won't come to that."

"Fine." Riley said, before walking out.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Riley was startled out of his reverie by someone knocking on his window. Looking up he saw the worried face of his girlfriend's best friend. Sighing softly to himself he grabbed his keys and opened the do

"Hi Willow."

"Hey Riley, is something wrong?"

"Ugh not really."

"Oh, so do you often sit in your car with your head on the steering wheel?"

"It's actually much more comfortable then it looks."

"I'm sure it is. But if something is wrong, you can tell me. Especially if it's about Buffy because there isn't much I don't know about her." Willow said smiling slightly.

*I'm sure there isn't.* Riley thought.

"So then would you say you know just about everything about her?"

"Sure, we tell each other everything."

"Really so then you would know just about all her secrets then. Even say if she had a secret identity."

"Riley?" Willow asked, worried he knew more then she thought.

"Say if she were…a vampire slayer? Would you know that?"

"I'd say you were a pretty good guesser, except that I think there's something else going on here."

"Well then you'd be correct, but right at this moment I just want to hear that its true. Tell me my girlfriend has been lying to me for the past three and a half months. Tell me that she goes out after our dates and kills vampires and demons. Tell me Willow. Tell me that Buffy Summers, normal high school student is really Buffy Summers the vampire slayer."

"Riley I think we should go inside. You need to talk to Buffy about this."

"You're right Willow. I should just get the truth from the horses mouth right?" Riley said, before stomping over to the Summers front door.

Willow followed Riley as he opened the front door and took the stairs two at time. Quickly racing up the stairs she stopped short, watching as Riley stood in Buffy's doorway just staring at her. There were no words spoken and the tension in the air was thick enough to taste. Buffy, having no idea what was going on was shocked to see Riley storm into her room with Willow fast on his heels.

"Guys…what’s going on?"

"Funny you should ask that Buffy. I was wondering the same thing."

"Um, I don't know what's happening right now, but you're really creeping me out Riley."

"Well I'd say that makes two of us then."

"Will? I don't understand…"

"Buffy he knows…"

"Knows what?"

"About your…extra curricular activities."

"My ex…oh…Riley I can explain."

"Please do. Because honestly I don't know what to think right now."

"It's complicated. I wanted to tell you but I didn't think you would understand." Buffy said, reaching out for him, only to have him back away.

"What I don't understand is how this is possible. How is it possible that you can fight vampires and be afraid of spiders? Or be strong enough to bend an iron bar but you can't open the pickle jar? Or wasn't that real? Just something to make me believe you were…normal?"

"I'm sorry. Riley, I promise I never lied about anything other then that. I just couldn't tell you. I wanted you to know, god, so many times I tried to tell you but I didn't want to put you in danger. You don't understand how this works. You find out and you die. I love you Riley. I didn't want you to get hurt. I was trying to protect you." Buffy cried, hoping to make him understand.

"What does this mean Buffy? What exactly is a slayer?" Riley asked, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

"I fight vampires and demons. I stop the world from ending every few months and hopefully save lives. We-We live on a hell mouth and every kind of baddie you can possibly think of lives here or is on its way. There is just so much you don't understand about Sunnydale and I wish I could have told you long before this. I wish you didn't have to find out this…" Buffy trailed off as something occurred to her.

"How did you find out?" Buffy asked.

Riley looked up quickly and said. "I saw you."

"What? When?"

"Buffy, I can't do this right now. I need to think about what's happening and what this means." Riley said, before getting up.

"Riley wait!"

"Buffy, please. Not now. I need to think. I-I'll call you." Riley said as he walked out.

Buffy collapsed on the floor as he left, crying her eyes out for what she felt was her lost love. Willow rushed to her friends' side and tried to comfort her. This didn't make any sense. Things were going so well, how had it just turned upside down?

"Willow it's not fair. I was only trying to protect him. I never meant to hurt him."

"I know Buffy. Riley knows it too."

"What if he doesn't? What if I lost him? Willow I can't go through this again. I love him so much. I know it hasn't been that long but he completes me. He's my life, my soul mate."

"I know Buffy, I know."