That Could've Been Me

Buffy’s brain was floating somewhere above the clouds. *For sixteen, she kisses way too damn good!* she thought dimly. Faith was sucking Buffy’s tongue into her mouth, making her belly heat and her clit pulse. She just couldn’t get her mouth off of Faith. The kiss was stronger than the pull of gravity.

Their bodies were pressed so close that Buffy could feel Faith’s belly tremble and quiver. She hummed a little moan into Faith’s mouth and the girl squeezed her tight and sucked harder.

The one kiss turned into a dozen nibbling kisses. They tasted each other’s lips and tilted their heads to get closer. Faith was moaning now too and Buffy was starting to lose control.

They were standing under a tree and Buffy pushed Faith back up against it, their mouths still sealed passionately, tightly together. Buffy’s hands clawed at the hem of Faith’s shirt, pulling it up out of her waistband, exposing a strip of bare skin to the night air. She put her hot hands on her, making the brunette gasp with need, temporarily breaking the kiss.

They panted for a few scant seconds, foreheads pressed together before they angled their heads and locked lips again.

===========

“…but in case there’s trouble…” Willow told Xander, “there won’t be, but if…” She handed him the tranquilizer gun.

Xander smiled. “Sleepy time. Gotcha.” He hefted the gun, feeling the weight. Willow continued to give him instructions as he waved the gun around. She frowned and took it out of his hands and set it on a table. Finally satisfied that Xander had been fully briefed and that Oz was comfortable for the night in the library cage, she waved goodnight to her favorite boys and went home to study.

Oz rumbled and growled softly in his cage as Xander curled up on the table top, rested his head on the book, and fell asleep almost immediately.

===========

Giles and Maggie were sitting at the table sipping tea and chatting. “And having Faith cured my delinquent days overnight,” Maggie was saying. “Her father wasn’t quite ready to be a dad or a husband. And then he died and I had absolutely no idea what I was gonna do. After that, though, his parents came around and decided to help me out. I really don’t know what I would’ve done without them.”

They continued to chat as they waited for the slayers to come home from their patrol.

===========

Faith was lost in Buffy’s mouth. The bark of the tree was digging into her back as Buffy pushed against her. Even through her clothes the blond slayer’s heat was soaking into her making her feel drunk. She wanted desperately to feel Buffy’s skin.

When Buffy’s scalding hands swept under her shirt and up her ribs, Faith moaned and opened her mouth wide, deepening their kiss. Tentative yet determined, Faith grabbed fistfuls of Buffy’s t-shirt, pulling it up to get at her smooth, silky skin.

Faith could barely breathe. At the feel of Buffy’s bare back under her fingertips, she forgot her uncertainty. Her palms flattened and she slowly slid her hands over as much of Buffy’s hot, sleek skin as she could.

“Fuck,” murmured Buffy as Faith’s hands set her skin aflame. Faith took the opportunity to explore Buffy’s neck which ignited a much deeper flame within the two of them. Buffy ground her hips against Faith’s thigh and their legs tangled together.

Then things got seriously hot. Buffy, lost in a lusty haze, had her hands up Faith’s shirt to caress her breasts. At the feel of Buffy’s hands, Faith’s knees buckled and she clutched Buffy shoulders frantically. She panted hot and heavy on Buffy’s ear and neck causing Buffy’s hands to clench, and a chain reaction of reactions ensued. Faith’s hips ground against Buffy’s thigh, Buffy’s thighs squeezed Faith’s leg, Faith’s hands wound into Buffy’s hair, Buffy slammed her lips back onto Faith’s. They were a writhing mass of teenaged limbs and exploring mouths.

Until they were beset upon by two vampires. The two slayers didn’t even notice them until one had his hand in Buffy’s hair yanking her head back to expose her neck.

With a surprised cry she punched him in the mouth. The strength of the blow caused him to pause but not let go. He pulled her away from Faith who stepped forward on shaky legs. Before she could help, the other vampire, this one a woman, tackled Faith to the ground.

Buffy pounded three quick jabs into the vampire’s face until he let go with a comical whine. She pulled out her stake but her hands were trembling from the memory of Faith’s skin and it tumbled out of her hands to the ground. The vampire took quick advantage and pounced. Grunting out curses, Buffy grappled with her opponent until she was able to get her foot into his chest. With a mighty heave, she shoved him away. He fell to the ground, nonplussed by the fierce fight his meal was showing.

Faith’s attacker had the teen pinned to the ground but was having trouble getting at her neck. Faith had her forearm jammed in the vampire’s throat, preventing her from biting. The vampire’s teeth gnashed at the air in bestial frustration. Faith managed to get her left arm free enough to punch the fiend in the temple. With a surprised shriek, the vampire half rolled off of the struggling slayer. Faith punched her again and scooted out from underneath her to stand on still shaky legs. She fumbled for her stake as the determined vampire sprang to her feet with inhuman speed.

Finally, Faith was able to get to her stake but her hands weren’t working as well as they usually did. The vampire was able to get a hard punch to the cheekbone in and Faith’s head snapped back. She backpedaled to regain her bearings.

Buffy’s vampire had scrambled to his feet and ran at his prey with inhuman speed. Fury made his game face even uglier. Buffy met him head on. They crashed together, fists flying. Frustration fueled her bloodlust as she pounded him. The few punches and kicks that made it past her defenses barely registered. She eventually tangled her feet with his as she held his shirt collar with one hand. He fell to the ground and she went with him, punching his face on the way down. By now he was dazed, making his attacks blind and weak. Buffy took advantage and increased her assault.

When she realized that he was no longer putting up much of a fight, her eye fell upon her dropped stake just a couple of feet away.

The female vampire, sensing a weak opponent, pounced again. Faith let them fall to the ground, maneuvering her stake to the vampire’s chest.

Both stakes found their home at the same moment. Buffy sat on her heels as the vampire beneath her disappeared into dust. Faith was covered with a fine layer of ash from head to toe. She dusted it off with frantic disgust, spitting and spluttering. She sat up, still swiping at the dead vampire remnants.

Buffy fell to the ground on her back. She sighed in relief as she stared at the indifferent stars twinkling above.

“Fucking… hell!” she muttered into the night.

===========

Maggie and Giles, having finished their tea, were cleaning up.

“I hate this part,” said Maggie. “You know… Waiting for my daughter to not show up dead.”

Giles nodded. “Yes. I wish I could make it easier but unfortunately…” He trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say.

Maggie regarded him for a few moments. “You love her, don’t you?”

He looked at her, his face a picture of mild confusion.

She continued. “Buffy. You love her like a daughter.”

He tried to keep his face impassive but his emotions leaked out. Eventually he sighed and said softly, “The Council requires its watchers to remain detached. I’ve failed miserably, I’m afraid.” He smiled ruefully, almost to himself. “It’s ironic really. I don’t think she likes me much at all. She’s defiant and impulsive and infuriating.”

“She’s a teenager. She can’t be anything but infuriating. It’s written in our DNA to be snotty when we’re adolescents.”

Giles chuckled at her remark.

She continued. “And she does like you. She came back, didn’t she? Of her own accord?”

“Yes. But lately, I’ve been wondering if she’s even capable of deeper emotions. Whether it’s from her upbringing or the fact that she’s a slayer. Or maybe it’s a combination of both. It seems as though she’s slipping away. Becoming more and more detached from human emotion…” He sighed for what seemed to be the thousandth time. “I’m actually quite worried.”

“She just has a hard time trusting people. Adults in particular.” She smiled encouragingly at him. “We just have to be extra trustworthy,” she said cheerfully.

He rubbed his forehead and chased away the thoughts of her looming eighteenth birthday.

===========

Buffy and Faith lay in the grass for a few long, silent minutes. Buffy was the first to stand up. As she dusted off her jeans, Faith sat up and watched her, her lips still swollen from their kisses.

Buffy’s face was stony and unreadable. Faith felt her chest tighten with dismay. “Buffy?...” she said in a small voice.

“Let’s go home,” was Buffy’s terse reply.

Faith stood on shaky legs. “I think we should at least talk about this.”

“There is nothing to talk about! It was a mistake.” She started walking with long angry strides. “It’s not happening again,” she said through gritted teeth.

Faith felt her throat tighten with tears. “Was it that bad?” Her voice was small and uncertain again. She trailed after the angry, blond slayer as she marched towards home.

Buffy suddenly stopped and whipped around to face Faith. “What is wrong with you?! We almost got killed, little girl! By two sorry excuses for vampires!” She turned back around and started striding again. “Two slayers almost got killed and eaten by two of the wimpiest vamps I’ve ever seen!” *Stupid stupid stupid how could I have been so stupid!*

“Stop calling me ‘little girl!’” shouted Faith. “Every time we kiss, you run off. Then you spend the next few days calling me rookie or jailbait and I’m sick of it! I may be kinda sheltered compared to the world-weary Buffy but at least I’m not a coward!”

“Yeah, I’m a coward. So let’s just paint a yellow stripe down my back and call it a night. Now leave me alone and keep your lips away from me!”

They stomped home in silence, fuming and refusing eye contact.

===========

The beast that was once a man roamed the woods feasting on the blood of small, wild animals. He knew he would have to hide soon, away from the watchful, burning sun.

A scent wafted across his awareness. A human scent. He crouched and crept towards it. His mouth watered as he got closer and closer to the source.

The poor, dead boy was cold and unappetizing however, and most of his blood had long since soaked into the earth.

The creature sniffed the remains, his nose wrinkling with distaste when he caught the scent of something that was not human. It was strange and unnatural… sour and metallic with a hint of hell magic. It was layered atop the boy, not a part of him.

A twittering bird alerted him and he tilted his head up to look at the pre-dawn sky. He growled uselessly at the encroaching sunlight and loped towards the edge of town to seek shelter in the sewers.

===========

Buffy and Faith ate their breakfast in stony silence. Maggie’s gaze went back and forth between them as she sipped her coffee.

Buffy finished first and, mumbling a good bye, she darted out the door to go to school, slamming the door behind her.

“So,” said Maggie…

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” interrupted Faith and she too was out the door without another word.

Maggie frowned in parental frustration as she finished her coffee.

===========

At the sight of Scott Hope, Faith felt a strange mixture of relief and annoyance. He smiled and waved and then jogged to her.

“Hi,” he said cheerfully. “Hey, are you okay? You look a little tired.”

“I’m fine,” she answered, smiling wanly. “Not enough sleep I guess.”

“Yeah, I’m useless and cranky if I haven’t gotten my twelve hours.” They started walking towards his friends, Pete and Debbie. Faith had met them recently when Scott sought her out for lunch a couple of days ago. They seemed nice even if a little into their own romance drama.

They were exchanging greetings when Willow and Oz came up to them. Faith tuned out the resulting teenaged conversation, her thoughts filled with Buffy. She was so wrapped up in her own musings that when Buffy stood before her suddenly, she thought perhaps her daydreams were starting to become a little too vivid.

“Hi Buffy,” said Willow with more enthusiasm than usual, causing Buffy to glance at her curiously.

She looked back at Faith and found herself caught by the hot, dark gaze. They stared for a few uncomfortable moments before Buffy tore eyes away. She looked at Willow. “Hey Will. What’s the word of the day?”

Willow blinked. This was a game they used to play. Before Angel had lost his soul, when Buffy was more cheerful and open, she used to greet Willow with this question and the smart red head would think of some big, pretentious word to baffle Buffy. Her mind raced as she tried to think of a word… “Reprobate,” she said and then groaned inwardly as she remembered the other part of their game. First, Buffy had a chance to define the word. She usually came up with something sexual, hoping to make Willow blush. She would usually be incorrect and Willow would then give her the actual definition.

Buffy thought for a moment. “A repressive probe? Ooo! Ooo! Is it an anal probe?”

Willow rolled her eyes. “No. It means a morally depraved person.”

Buffy made a scoffing sound. “I was close enough,” she said, slightly distracted by Faith and Scott smiling at each other. She then glanced away, missing the furtive look Faith gave her. Willow watched the entire exchange and wondered briefly why the air between the girls failed to ignite from all the friction and angst.

As Oz and Debbie continued their conversation, Willow watched Buffy in terrified fascination as her eyes developed a dangerous glint. Willow glanced back to Faith and Scott just in time to see them share a soft, tender kiss. Her eyes began to dart back and forth, so as not to miss a single expression but Buffy mumbled something about seeing the school shrink.

“Gotta convince him that, even if I am crazy, I’m not dangerous,” she said with a rueful smile.

Debbie turned to look at Buffy. “Do you mean Mr. Platt? He kinda creeps me out. I’d quit but I’m flunking bio.” Debbie rolled her eyes. “My teacher says I have success issues.”

“Bio?” asked Oz. “I sorta aced that final last year. I still have my notes. They’re yours if you want ‘em.”

Buffy tuned out the rest of the conversation to watch Scott and Faith have a quiet conversation of their own. As they leaned in for another kiss she quickly turned and stalked away, unaware of the two sets of eyes watching her depart.

===========

Buffy emerged from Mr. Platt’s office feeling bemused and strangely hopeful. He had just kicked her out with a cheerful, “I can only stand you kids for an hour at a time at the most. You’re irritating me so your time must be up.”

She liked him. She really liked him and she was amazed at how much she had revealed. She’d told him all about Angel, leaving out all the vampire/demon stuff, of course, and she thought that maybe in their next session, she’d tell him about Faith.

When she entered the library, however, she was greeted with glum looks. “Hmm. I’m having the sinking feeling I missed something.” she said.

“Oz ate someone last night,” said Cordelia.

Buffy’s eyes darted over to the miserable looking Oz as Willow came to his defense. “He did not!”

Xander tried to help by saying, “Oz does not eat people. It's more, werewolf play. You know… I bat you around a little bit. Like a cat toy. I have harmless wolf fun. Is it Oz’s fault that, you know, side effect, people get cut to ribbons and maybe then he takes a little nibble and I'm not helping am I?”

Then Giles said gravely, “Oz may have gotten out of his cage last night.”

Oz, his tone defensive and terse, said, “Or there just happened to be another werewolf roaming the woods last night.”

“Maybe it wasn’t Oz at all,” said Faith. “Maybe it wasn’t even a werewolf.”

“I agree with Faith,” said Giles. “It is entirely too soon to be coming to any conclusions. However, precautions need to be taken. Buffy you will patrol alone tonight and Faith, you will guard Oz.”

“A slayer’s gonna watch over me?” said Oz, tersely. “Good thing we’re not overreacting or anything.”

Everyone watched Oz stalk towards the door. Willow caught up to him and put a hand on his arm.

“Okay,” he said. “You know that thing where you bail in the middle of an upsetting conversation? I need to do that. Kind of dramatic. But sometimes it's a necessary guy thing.”

“I know,” she answered. “And I want you to be able to do the guy thing, but…” She glanced pointedly at the clock.

Oz sighed and scowled at the impertinent clock signaling the impending sunset. With a resigned sigh, he trudged over to the library cage and went inside.

============

Buffy wandered through the outskirts of Sunnydale, her eyes sharp and gleaming. The sight of Oz so upset had unsettled her a bit. Oz was, without a doubt, her favorite member of Giles’ Scooby Gang. He was the only one who seemed to get her. In fact, he was the only guy friend she’d ever had that never propositioned her. As much as she teased Willow about Oz being like all other guys, so far he wasn’t. She was determined to help exonerate him.

A rustle in the brush caught her attention. It sounded a lot bigger than any of the local wildlife. She crouched and listened intently, holding her breath.

Another rustle, followed by a loud crashing of branches and leaves sent Buffy into a sprint towards the noise. Her heart was pounding with excitement.

Something large tackled her from the side, sending her flying through the air. She landed with a thud and a grunt as the beast who still had a hold of her snarled with inhuman fury.

She lashed out with elbows and fists until she could get enough leverage to use her foot. The force of her kick sent it sprawling. Buffy flipped up to a battle stance and gritted her teeth, looking forward to kicking this fucker’s ass.

It wasn’t a werewolf. Bare, pale skin glowed in the light of the full moon. It was man-shaped. He scrambled to his feet and whipped around to face her, snarling hideously.

Buffy’s heart stopped as her world seemed to shatter into a million pieces.

“Angel?”

============

Faith sat at the library table not doing her homework. She kept trying but the text book seemed to be written in ancient Sanskrit. Plus, the words kept moving around. Finally, she huffed out a frustrated sigh and got up to pace around. She felt a bit like Oz… caged and restless.

His wolf form kept whining and growling as he paced around. Every once in awhile he would look at the moon through the little window with wistful longing.

Faith really wanted to be with Buffy, patrolling and…

She stopped her pacing and stared at Buffy who was standing in the doorway. She looked… odd, almost like a lost little girl.

“Hey, Faith.”

“Hey, B.”

Buffy’s eyebrows raised and her expression changed to mild amusement. “B?” she asked. “Is that the best you can come up with as a nifty new nickname?”

“What’s the matter? Don’t you like it?” Faith asked, her voice flirtatious.

Buffy shrugged, “Dunno. Jury’s still out.” She and Faith stared into each other’s eyes for a few charged moments. “I don’t mind trying it on for a while,” she said, her voice soft and husky.

Faith felt her body respond to that seductive sound with a rush of heat to her face, neck, and belly. She stepped towards Buffy but she was cut short by a loud snarl from Oz, agitated by the scents the slayers were exuding.

The two girls jerked in surprise and the spell was broken.

“Why don’t you take off for the night,” said Buffy. “I’ll watch Oz. There’s no way I’m gonna sleep.”

Faith sighed resignedly. “Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll make a quick sweep on my way home.”

“Yeah, good idea,” said Buffy. “I already patrolled the area where that body was found. Maybe you should scope out the cemeteries,” she added, her casual tone disguising her anxiety. Almost all the cemeteries were far away from where she’d stashed Angel.

============

Buffy spent most of the night pouring over Giles’ texts, looking for anything having to do with Acathla and demon dimensions.

Giles’ gentle touch on her shoulder jerked her awake. She blinked blearily at her concerned watcher.

“I realize these books can be very comfortable but I’d prefer that you not drool on the one-of-a-kind volumes.”

She self-consciously swiped at the corners of her mouth before she noticed Giles smirking at her.

Seeing him so calm and easy prompted her to say in a rush, “I had a dream about Angel.”

“I see. Do you think it was a prophecy?”

“Umm… I don’t know. But it felt pretty real. I’m talking surround sound, Technicolor, smellevision real.”

“Well then I think some real research needs to be done. Although I haven’t heard of anyone coming back from a demon dimension once the gate has been closed.” He pursed his lips in thought before adding, “However since we are dealing with the possible return of Angelus then we’d better not take any chances.”

Buffy felt her anxiety ratchet up another notch. She’d forgotten that she hadn’t told anyone about Angel getting his soul back and the thought of telling Giles now meant the possibility of questions she wasn’t prepared to answer.

“Do you think we should just keep this to ourselves?” she ventured. “I mean just until we know more?”

“For now,” he responded. “But you must let me know at once if you have any more dreams.”

She nodded absently as Willow walked into the library carrying a bag of donuts.

============

Watching Faith have lunch with Scott and his buddies did not help Buffy’s mood. Especially when the cheerful brunette laughed at his jokes. The rest of the Scooby Gang joined them and soon they were all yucking it up and having a good time.

Buffy pushed away her untouched jello-surprise and left the cafeteria.

The jog to Angel’s mansion cleared her head somewhat but not for very long. Her uncertainty returned when she saw him crouched in a dark corner, shivering.

She wanted to go to him… comfort him with her touch, her body, but caution and doubt kept her feet rooted to the spot. Was he capable of killing that boy?

As Angelus, there was no question. But this bestial thing wasn’t Angelus. He wasn’t Angel either.

The creature stared at her, his gaze neither welcoming or threatening.

Finally, she said, “Angel?” in a small voice.

Nothing. No recognition, no indication he even heard her.

She stepped closer, heart pounding, hand outstretched.

When she was almost close enough to touch him, he suddenly snarled and lunged at her. She jumped back and was saved by the manacles around his wrists.

Frustrated and heartsick, she left and went back to school.

============

That afternoon, Buffy paced outside of Mr. Platt’s office, gathering her courage.

Eventually the need to talk to somebody won out and she knocked and opened the door.

He was facing away from her, gazing out the widow while smoking a cigarette.

“Hi, Mr. Platt. Don’t turn around and don’t say anything,” she said in a rush. “I need to get this out and I can’t do it face-to-face.” She took a deep breath. “Even if you think I’m ready for the booby hatch, I still have to get this out before I--”

Something was wrong. He obviously hadn’t moved in a while because his cigarette was burned all the way down, burning his fingers.

Dread filled her throat until it ached as she approached his chair.

When she saw the mangled body of what used to be Mr. Platt, she felt something in her turn hard and stony. *That’s what I get. That’s what I get for liking somebody and trusting somebody…*

============

Willow’s good cheer at the news of Mr. Platt’s grisly daytime demise reminded Buffy that Oz was now completely off the hook. And so was Angel, for that matter.

But with all of the suspects eliminated, they now had no idea who the killer could be. Buffy let the Scooby Gang go into investigation-mode. She spoke up when inspiration hit, however. “Maybe the boyfriend is the one smacking Debbie around.”

“I don’t know,” said Faith. “Pete seems like a pretty nice guy.”

“All men are beasts, Faith. Even the nice guys have some animal in them. Besides, you’ve know him how long? Two… three minutes?”

Giles interjected. “Faith’s opinion aside, he does seem to be our most likely suspect. We should find the girl and question her. We’ll split up… Faith and I, and Buffy and Willow.”

Oz added, “And I’ll… be in the cage.”

On a hunch, Buffy headed for the bathroom with Willow tagging along behind. Sure enough, Debbie was in there trying to cover up her black and swollen eye.

“Nice shiner,” said Buffy. “You know what works best for that?”

“What?” asked Debbie.

Keeping her voice soft and kind, Buffy answered, “Don’t get hit.”

Feeling tricked and mutinous, Debbie started putting her make-up back in her bag.

“Where’s Pete, Debbie?”

“I don’t know.”

“Bullshit. You didn’t walk into a door or fall down some steps and you didn’t walk into his fists either.”

“It’s not his fault! He just gets crazy cuz he loves me so much!”

“And now two people are dead because he loves you?”

Willow asked, “So it is him? But weren’t Platt and Jeff murdered by an animal?”

“I think Pete isn’t like other guys, is he Debbie?”

Debbie’s near-panicked look confirmed Buffy’s suspicion. Buffy then attempted to reason with the girl, which resulted in a frustrating conversation… ending with Debbie babbling, “He still loves me,” over and over again as Buffy and Willow led her to the library.

Before they could get there, however, an unearthly scream ripped through the air followed by snarling growls that could only be Oz the werewolf.

Buffy sprinted to the library with Willow and Debbie hot on her heels.

The ensuing chaos ended with Giles snoozing on the floor with a tranquilizer dart in him and the strange Pete-creature gone, having slipped out the door in all the confusion.

Buffy went after Pete while Willow and Faith chased Oz.

The smear of blood on the wall next to a window led Buffy to a storeroom. She spotted the lifeless form of Debbie and ran to her. When she could detect no pulse, she muttered, “Godammit.”

And then Pete tackled her. She fought him but rage fueled his onslaught. He didn’t seem to notice any of the punches that Buffy landed. In a matter of moments, he had her pinned to the floor, pounding and pounding. Her vision began to gray and fear teased her consciousness.

Abruptly, Pete was lifted off of her, allowing her to catch her breath. When her vision cleared, she saw the two beasts, Angel and Pete, in a furious tangle of snarls and limbs.

They roared and yelled and slashed and fought until Pete managed to push Angel away. He then launched himself towards Buffy again. She was still laying on the ground, barely able to register what was going on.

A few scant inches before Pete reached Buffy, a chain wrapped around his neck and wrenched him violently away.

His neck snapped loudly, echoing in Buffy’s ears like a macabre note from a symphony.

She looked at Angel who was crouching in a fighting stance, breathing heavily, each exhale a vicious snarl. His demon visage show no humanity as his yellow eyes stared at the heap that used to be Pete.

But soon Pete’s dead body shifted back to human form and Angel’s gaze turned to Buffy. She clambered to her feet, alarmed and vulnerable.

His gleaming eyes changed from yellow to brown as his face relaxed. His human face took an expression of anguish and pain.

“Buffy?” his voice was plaintive and beseeching and Buffy felt herself pulled to him. This was the Angel she once knew… and thought she loved.

As she walked to him, he dropped to his knees. She was finally able to give him the comfort he needed.

After a few minutes, she heard Willow and Faith calling her name.

“Angel,” she whispered. “You can’t be here. It’s not safe.”

Slowly, almost painfully, he dropped his arms and got to his feet. She stared at him but he never lifted his gaze.

Faith’s voice, much closer now, calling, “Buffy! Where are you?” distracted her.

When she turned back to urge Angel away, he was already gone.

Buffy called out her location to the worried group. They came running. Willow gasped and covered her mouth at the scene. It was not a pretty sight. Pete’s head was at an unnatural angle and Debbie was pale and still.

“I couldn’t save either of them,” said Buffy in a small voice, still reeling from the sight of Angel. The whole incident was on a repeating loop in her head. She kept seeing and hearing Pete’s neck breaking. And Angel’s anguished face kept searing her heart.

“I hafta go. I can’t stay here.” She pushed past Faith and Willow and ran out the door.

Faith ran after her. “Buffy wait!” she called.

Buffy stopped and turned around. “What do you want from me?!” The desperation in her voice stopped Faith in her tracks.

“It wasn’t your fault,” said Faith. At Buffy’s confused look, she continued. “We all saw him. Pete wasn’t human.”

Buffy sighed and her shoulders slumped as she hung her head.

Faith stepped closer, gingerly, like she was approaching a wild animal. “You had to kill him. We all know you had no choice.”

When Buffy lifted her head, Faith expected to see tears so she was surprised to find Buffy’s eyes were dry. “Faith… I need to be alone.” Buffy’s voice was calm and quiet, her eyes clear and forthright. “Will you take care of Giles for me?”

After a few moments, Faith nodded. “Are you gonna be okay?” she asked softly.

“Yeah,” her answer equally soft. Their eyes were locked for a few more aching moments before Buffy turned and jogged into the dark night.

============

The next few days Faith had to watch Scott’s grief and confusion while pretending to know nothing. Willow’s steady calming influence kept her grounded and sane. Faith decided to tell Willow about her latest Buffy-kissing escapade.

“I just don’t understand what I keep doing wrong!” she said when she’d finished her tale.

“You haven’t done anything wrong,” insisted Willow. “She’s obviously not ready for that kind of relationship.” Her face became pensive as she thought about her next few words. “I honestly think she won’t be for a while. The whole thing with Angel--I mean Angelus--really messed with her mind. He messed with all of us last year. It was really ugly, Faith.”

“Was she in love with him?” asked Faith, though she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know the answer.

“I don’t know. I think she was as close as she’d ever been to being in love. They spent almost all of their time together before he switched to evil, jerky Angelus. But before that, Angel was a super nice guy. I really liked him.”

“What made him change?” asked Faith. “How did he lose his soul?”

Willow’s eyes got really wide as she blushed to the roots of her red hair. “Ummmmm...” she mumbled.

“Willow?”

She steeled herself with a deep, decisive breath. “They had sex. I think for the first time. And he had a moment of perfect happiness. That broke the gypsy curse so he lost his soul.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Willow watched Faith digest this bit of information. “Buffy didn’t take it very well. It was a whole big drama that lasted the rest of the school year. It ended when Buffy had to kill him and he got sucked into a demon dimension. At least I’m assuming that’s what happened cuz the world didn’t end.”

Faith stayed silent and Willow continued her narrative. “And Kendra getting killed by Drusilla didn’t help. After Buffy saved the world, she just took off. Took a bus out of town. We were all pretty worried about her. Especially Giles. He spent a lot of time looking for her.”

After a long silence Faith finally said, “I think I’m gonna leave her alone for a while… let her make the next move.”

Willow nodded sagely. “I think that’s a very good idea.”