Once More With Slash

Copyright Disclaimer: I own none of these characters or the Buffy universe. All material relating to Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel belong to Joss Wedon and WB. No copyright infringement is intended and I make no profit from this story.

Author's Note: I plan to play around with the time-line and canon events a little (to suit my own nefarious purposes! Mwhahah!) At this stage assume that everything is the same as canon up to Season 6, episode "Once More With Feeling" with the exception of Spike falling for Buffy (the thought just gives me the screaming heebie-jeebies!) Obviously I am planning to take some of the characters in very different directions to the canon so if something doesn't quite fit the canon time-line there is probably a reason for it (can we say "convenient plot device" people!?*Grin*)

Description: Xander finds himself being dumped by his fiancé just weeks before the wedding and his friends too busy with their own lives to pay him much attention. Life sucks and now he finds himself thinking more and more about a certain bleached blond vampire.

Warnings: Slash/Homoerotic Relationship! (Xander/Spike) NC-17 rating for graphic bedroom & battle scenes. Possibly some Buffy & Willow bashing (as pertaining to the intended story line). Enjoy!


Part 8

Perched on the edge of a bar stool at the Bronze, Xander was lost in thought as he watched Spike leaning over the pool table to take a shot. Cigarette held loosely between his lips as he lined up the shot, Spike squinted through the smoke curling up in front of his eyes before smoothly pushing the cue along the top of his right hand and gently hitting the white ball with a soft snick. Xander watched as the vampire straightened up and smirked as the cue ball knocked 2 coloured balls into the pocket on the far side of the table, ending the game.

Spike and Xander had been spending more and more time together since they had walked out of the cataloguing session at Giles’ place several weeks before. A few nights a week they would get together to play a game of pool at the Bronze or just sit at a table and people-watch. Xander had discovered that the vampire had a wicked sense of humour and as they commented on the people in the club Xander started feeling more at ease with the sort-of friendship he and Spike were developing. It was a nice change to be able to perve on girls in the club without having to worry about the other Scoobies trying to hook him up with any of them. Since Anya had written to Giles stating that she didn’t want to be part owner of the Magic Box anymore, a week after she had left town, Willow and Buffy had been all but throwing him at any girl that walked past. They seemed to think that getting a girlfriend was going to make everything all better for their friend. They didn’t know that Xander had decided to take a good, hard look at himself since Anya left and find out what it was that he really wanted out of life.

Xander thought back to the evening that had started him on the road to acceptance…

He had been dozing on the couch with the TV on softly one night after patrolling with Buffy, a glass of lemonade half-finished on the coffee table in front of him. He hadn’t been watching the TV, having it on more to disguise the silence of the empty apartment than because there was anything he really wanted to watch on. Lying sprawled over the cushions he found his mind wandering to his relationship with Anya, in fact his relationships with all his previous girlfriends. Wondering why things had never worked out with them. He knew that the actual events which led to the break-ups were only half the story but before now he hadn’t wanted to know what the other reasons might be. As he thought about all his girlfriends he had been shocked to discover that in every single case there was one common element. Convenience.

Every one of his girlfriends and even the ill-fated semi-relationships with Faith and Willow had just sort of happened. They had been thrown together through circumstance and the relationship had just sort of gone from there. Xander thought that even Anya hadn’t really loved him so much as needed him. Faith had just wanted a cock and if he hadn’t been there at the time then no doubt some other man would have been instead. The kiss with Willow had been the same, though there had been stirrings of interest between them in the weeks leading up it, Xander suspected that Willow was looking for a way out of her relationship with Oz more than actually interested in him. Cordelia was the only girl who he thought may have been truly interested in him, but obviously not enough to give the relationship a second chance or stop the inevitable painful break-up. So, he decided, he had never really had a relationship with someone who just wanted him for him, not just for his cock, not just for support in a new world, not just to help break up a relationship with someone else.

That was a sobering thought. So what was it that he really wanted then? What was going to make his life feel like more than a waste of time? Xander thought about all the relationships he had seen and wondered if anyone ever got the sort of “ever-after” he was dreaming of. His parents were a prime example of what a miserable relationship was and if nothing else Xander was certain he didn’t want that!

Suddenly an image of Spike & Dru popped into his head. The two vampires swaying together at the Bronze, bodies so close that they almost seemed to blend into one. The look of total contentment on Spike’s face as he dipped his head to his girl’s and rolled his forehead over hers.

THAT was what he wanted! Not Dru or Spike, but the total love and trust Spike had in his eyes as he looked at his princess. He wanted someone to look at him like that, to look at him and see the real person, not just the Scoobie’s donut-boy or someone to lean on or the token male of the group.

With a depressed sigh he heaved himself to his feet and switched off the TV. Walking to his bedroom he ached inside as he realized that he simply wasn’t meant to have that kind of love. It wasn’t guys like him who got that sort of burning, eternal love. That was for heroes and champions, not carpenters. With another sigh he climbed into bed and hugged a pillow to his chest as he drifted into an uneasy sleep…

He was standing on a hill-top at night, with the cold ocean breeze blowing into his face. Someone moved behind him and wrapped their arms around his waist. As light kisses were peppered across the back of his neck he leaned further into the strong embrace. With a slight grin Xander turned around to face to person who was now pulling his shirt up and sliding their hands underneath running blunt fingernails across his skin. It was too dark to see who was holding him but it didn’t matter because the person reached up and brought their lips to his in a kiss that stole his breath away. Slowly the arms around his waist dropped to his hips and then into his pants to gently squeeze and pinch his ass. Shuddering he leaned forward to kiss this mystery lover again. Panting as the movement pushed his hard cock into the body of his lover, Xander thrust his hips more deliberately against the person in front of him. Feeling an answering bulge in the pants of the person still kissing him, he reached up to run his hands down their chest. Finding no soft feminine curves he pulled back a little to try to see his lover’s face. Feeling no shock or unease he slid his hands back up to the man’s shoulders and then down his arms, all the while desperately trying to see the face of his lover through the dark. Suddenly the moon came out from behind a cloud and in the blue-white light he saw a flash of short dark hair and a hint of stubble. Xander’s eyes widened as the gender of his lover hit home. The man’s lips quirked as he squeezed Xander’s bum before pushing his groin into his lover’s once more. Moving his face closer to the boy’s the man licked his way down Xander’s throat as he thrust more urgently against him. Xander couldn’t help but respond to the delicious friction the other man was creating in his groin. Pulling the man closer Xander wrapped his arms tighter around the strong frame to hold him still as he moved against him in a jerky rhythm. The mystery man pulled back again a little and met the gaze of the brunette. The look of lust in his dark eyes was enough to push the young man over the edge and screaming he felt himself come in his pants.

Waking up suddenly Xander looked around in shock his breath coming in little panicked pants. There was no-one else but him in his room but the dream was so real Xander almost expected to see the man next to him in bed. The scene was still playing like a movie behind his eyes. Looking down he saw the slowly spreading wet spot on his sleep pants and fell back onto his pillows with a groan.

“Just a dream….was just a dream.” He said to himself and he got out of bed to strip off the damp sweats. “Doesn’t mean anything, just my subconscious messing me up.” Pulling a clean pair of pants on he sat on the edge of the bed, determined to put the dream out of his head before he went back to sleep. As he tried to relax and steady his breathing he saw the look of hunger and lust on the other man’s face in his mind’s eye and felt his cock stir in his pants. Groaning again the young man collapsed into bed and tried to go back to sleep haunted by the scene which had turned his world on it’s head.

Since that night Xander had spent many hours thinking about what that dream could have meant. For a while he just tried to ignore it and pretend it had never happened, but then he started noticing that his eye was straying to attractive men as well as women at the Bronze. It was the first night out with Willow and Buffy when they had all but thrown a slightly drunk girl at him that had made his mind up about his sexuality. He wasn’t going to deny what his instincts told him anymore. He hadn’t exactly had a lot of luck being straight, so maybe it was time to actually listen to what his subconscious had been trying to tell him. Of course that didn’t mean he was going to tell anyone or even do anything, not yet. But it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders once he had decided to try to be himself, not what other people wanted him to be.

“Well what do ya know? I win again Harris.” Spike sneered as he stalked over to the table where Xander was sitting, jolting him out of his thoughts. Grabbing his beer off the sticky table Spike tilted his head back as he took a long swallow. Xander sat staring at the blond vampire in front of him, as he drank his beer.

He looks so fucking hot when he is being the Big-Bad. Xander thought to himself for not the first time that evening, strangely at ease with the thought. Spike drained his drink and then fished out a smoke from the packet lying next to the ashtray on the table. Taking a deep lungful of smoke Spike blew the smoke away from Xander before turning to face him. Seeing the look of barely veiled heat in the boy’s eyes Spike smirked at him before running his free hand casually down his own t-shirt covered chest. Hearing Xander’s breath hitch the vampire decided to push just a little further.

So the whelp wants a bit of the Big Bad does he? Spike thought to himself. I wonder how badly he wants it…or even if he knows he wants it? Spike mused as he planned his assault on the young man’s senses. Stepping away from the table Spike slid his fingers into the belt loop of his jeans and leaned back against the wall, hip angled out slightly and groin framed by one pale hand. Xander’s eyes were still on him, centred on the vampire’s body and seemingly oblivious to the look the vampire was giving him.

Straightening up Spike un-hooked his fingers from his jeans and in a show of studied indifference, raised both arms towards the ceiling as he stretched. He could smell the lust pouring off the man who was still staring at him. Spike let his arms dropped before taking another drag of the cigarette in his left hand. Blowing the smoke towards the ceiling he looked at Xander again. Catching his eye the vampire let a slow smile spread across his face before butting the smoke in the ashtray.

“So up for another game Whelp?” He asked. Xander blinked several times quickly before he shook his head as though to clear it from the thoughts had been running through it for the past couple of minutes.

“Ah…actually Spike, I better head home. Got work tomorrow and it’s already pretty late.” Xander said in a deliberately casual tone. He knew what the vampire was doing, Xander wasn’t the only one who wasn’t great at subtly. What Xander couldn’t work out was why the vampire was trying to get his interest, and other things, aroused. He was pretty certain that Spike was straight and even if he wasn’t, there was no way he would be trying to get into Xander’s pants! Spike hates me! Well maybe not so much now, but still…He wouldn’t be interested in me. In fact I am pretty sure he has a bit of a crush on Buffy…The way he’s been hanging around more, and patrolling with us all the time. Yeah, he’s probably just practicing his moves on me so he can catch Buffy’s attention. All this ran through Xander’s head in less than a heart-beat and with a weak grin at the vampire he shrugged his jacket on and threaded his way through the writhing bodies still on the dance floor, towards the door.

“Alright mate.” Spike drawled as he gathered his duster and smokes from the table, “I’ll walk ya home…wouldn’t do to have you eaten by some of the locals eh?” As he followed the boy through the throng Spike couldn’t help but wonder why he was trying to get the boy’s attention. He was starting to really enjoy the easy camaraderie he and Xander were developing. Spike hadn’t had a friend before…Sire and family and minions but never any friends. Spike suddenly stopped dead as a shocking thought entered his head. Never had a real friend before…Is that what I think of the whelp now? A friend? He’s the bloody Slayer’s white knight and whipping boy! But…He’s loyal and seems to enjoy spending time with me. He has a right wicked sense of humour and devious streak a mile wide when he’s not playing the bloody fool. And doesn’t even seem want anything from me, people don’t just offer friendship without wanting somthin’ in return, but maybe he’s doin’ just that…I suppose he is a friend then. Wonder if that’s sort of what having a Childe is like? Shite! Xander as a Childe….my Childe… Spike’s cock hardened in his pants as a reel of images ran through his head. Xander in game face fighting alongside him, Xander sharing his crypt, sharing his bed. Xander on his hands and knees in front of him, taking his cock in his mouth, looking up at his master with devotion and love in his eyes…ENOUGH! Spike shook his head violently to get the scene out of his thoughts. What the bloody hell was that!? Complete fantasy that was! Can’t even bite, and even if I could, I wouldn’t be lookin’ to turn the boy. He’d hate me for it an’ the Slayer would have me guts for garters! Not wanting to ponder why he’d care if Xander would hate him if he turned him Spike swore.

“Bloody Hell!” He started walking again. Moving quickly to catch up with Xander he waited until he was a few paces behind him before pulling a smoke out of his pocket and lighting it. “So are Slutty and Red still givin’ ya grief about getting a bint?” Spike asked mildly as they left the noisy night club. He was desperately trying to distract his mind from the thoughts which had caused such a shift in his thinking just a few moments before.

“Huh?” Xander asked as a confused look settled over his features. “Oh right, you mean are they still trying to set me up?”

Spike nodded, “Yeah, s’what I said innit?”

“No what you said was some weird English thing. God! I must be hanging around you too much, I actually worked out what you were saying without using a translator!” Xander replied with a cheeky grin. “Yeah the girls are still trying to get me a date. Like I need them to do that! I know they’re just trying to help but…well if they really wanted to help they’d ask me how I’m going once in a while.” Xander sighed. He was still annoyed about how the girls had totally glossed over his break-up with Anya, but there wasn’t much point in bringing it up with them again. Since the night he had walked out of the Scooby meeting, Buffy and Willow had both been making an effort to spend more time with him. The only problem was that Xander found himself preferring Spike’s company. He just felt like he could be himself more around the vampire. And how insane is that! Welcome to my life on the Hellmouth. Xander thought to himself ruefully.

“Right then, well…” Spike was cut off as a red pick-up truck swerved across the road and collided with a tree twenty yards from where they were walking.

“Shit! Spike we gotta help them!” Xander cried as he took off at a run to the truck, which was now belching black smoke and steam from under the hood.

“Xan wait!” Spike yelled before running after the young man. It’s probably a fuckin’ trap! Stupid bloody white knight, always jumpin’ in without a thought for ‘imself!

Xander was desperately trying to yank open the crumpled driver’s door, talking constantly to the two youths slumped in the front seat. Spike could easily see the blood smeared across the dashboard of the truck in the moonlight but he couldn’t hear any heart-beats other than Xander’s which was pounding like it was going to come clear out of his chest.

The man gave one more almighty tug on the car door which swung over with a screech of metal on metal. As Xander reached in to the figure slumped over the steering wheel Spike grabbed his arm.

“What are you doing Spike” Xander yelled a bit hysterically, “We have to get these people out, the car could explode or something. We gotta help them!”

Spike held on as Xander tried to pull his arm free. “You twit! They’re probably vamps and looking for dinner!”

“You don’t know that Sp..” Xander was cut off as a hand shot out of the truck and wrapped around his neck, pulling him towards the vampire who sitting up and grinning around his fangs at the shocked young man.

“You should’ve listened to yer mate.” He said as he tightened his hold and reared back ready to bite.

“An’ you should’ve found some other idiot to attack.” Spike snarled before changing into his own game face. Grabbing the other vampire’s wrist he squeezed until he felt the bones beneath his hand grinding together.

“Argh! Alright! Alright!” The vampire squealed as his wrist was being crushed. He let go of Xander who fell backwards onto his ass on the sidewalk. Trying to catch his breath he watched as Spike dragged the hapless vampire out of the truck and proceeded to pummel him.

“You. Don’t. Ever. Touch. My. Boy!” Spike said as he alternated each punch and kick with a word. “You. Aren’t. Worth. The. Shit. On. His. Boots!” Xander watched, stunned, as Spike spun around in a round-house kick before grabbing the fledge’s arm and snapping it in three places. “Now fuck-off before I change my mind about dusting ya!” Spike spat as he dropped the barely conscious vampire at his feet, “An’ don’t forget to tell ya mates…no-one touches this boy, or they deal with me! Got it?!”

“Y-yes M-master.” The terrified fledge stammered as he started to crawl away. Spike picked up the still smouldering cigarette from where he had dropped it before the fight.

“Um…Spike?” Xander asked cautiously as he looked up at the vampire from his position on the ground. “What about the other...um…guy in the truck. Is he a vamp too? Not that I care what happens to him or anything, just well if he is then…” Xander’s babbling stopped abruptly as Spike spun ‘round to face him. Offering a hand to help him up, Spike smoothly pulled the shaken man to his feet and with a cool finger under his chin, lifted the man’s head up so he could see his neck.

“He’s dead Xan.” Spike replied in a flat voice, “Most probably the poor bastard who owned the truck. Let me see ya neck pet” His voice softened as he tilted Xander’s head back and to one side, then the other. “You’ll have a fuck of a bruise there mate,” Spike said as he leaned in closer to inspect the damage. “Nothin’ that won’t heal though.”

Letting go of the brunette’s chin he stepped back and glared at him. “You’re lucky you didn’t get ya neck broken you stupid wanker! What the hell did you think you were doin’?! Walking into a trap as obvious as that!?” Spike was pacing as he tried to get his anger under control Won’t do to scare the whelp but, fuck me! He’s only human! He could have been drained in a second! Taking a deep drag of his smoke he growled as he realized it had gone out. Pulling another from his pocket he lit it and then glared balefully at the man standing in front of him.

Xander took a step closer to the enraged vampire and placed his hands on his shoulders.

“I’m sorry alright. I just didn’t think and…well…thanks for saving my ass back there.” Xander said looking into the demon’s golden eyes. The vampire sighed then and his game face fell away to be replaced by Spike’s human visage.

Spike looked away from the human and sighed again. “S’alright. Just don’t do anything so stupid again right? I can’t always be here to save your sorry arse!” By the end of his speech Spike had his trademark smirk and Xander was smiling too.

“So I guess this means you don’t hate me huh?” Xander joked as he dropped his hands from the vampire’s shoulders and stepped back.

“Yeah, guess so.” Spike said, sounding somehow reluctant.

“It’s alright. Your secret’s safe with me.” Xander grinned as he started walking towards his apartment, turning around to see if the vampire was following him. “Though you know I don’t hate you either right?”

Spike stopped with a shocked look on his face for a second, then pasted his smirk back onto his face as he started walking again. “’Course ya don’t hate me. I’m too bloody good lookin’ to hate I am!” Spike said with a grin at the man walking beside him.

“Yeah Spike. Whatever.” Xander rolled his eyes and chuckled as they continued to his apartment. When they reached the driveway Xander turned to Spike, suddenly serious.

“You know Spike, I really am grateful for you helping me back there. I…um…” The man stammered to a stop, suddenly flushing and looking down at his feet.

“What is it Xan?” Spike asked, suddenly concerned. Not looking up Xander spoke so quietly and quickly that even with vampire hearing Spike missed what he said. “What was that pet? Didn’t quite catch it.” Raising his eyes to the vampire’s face then quickly away again Xander said a little louder,

“I just said, well…I guess I kinda see you as a friend…um…if that’s ok?” With that Xander flushed again and started babbling “But y’know it doesn’t matter if you don’t want me as a friend, I mean it’s just that you don’t seem to want to kill me anymore, and even though I know that’s just ‘cause of the chip, I’d still like to um…y’know. Be your friend…” Xander trailed off, waiting for Spike to tell him to fuck off and laugh at him. When the vampire didn’t make a noise Xander cautiously looked back at Spike’s face. He smiled a little at the gob-smacked expression on the vampire’s face. “Um…Spike? Are you ok?” He asked gently.

Spike closed his mouth with a click and looked at Xander. “Er…” The vampire cleared his throat and tried again, “Yeah, I guess ya are a friend Xan. Nothin’ mushy mind, just…I’ll watch your back if you watch mine yeah?”

Xander gave the blond a big happy smile then and Spike’s breath caught at how the man’s whole face lit up from within. Funny that I’ve never seen that expression before…Guess he hasn’t had much to really smile about recently. Spike thought as he gave a small genuine smile in return.

“Well I’m off. Got people to see an’ demons to kill an’ all.” Spike said briskly as he dropped is cigarette to the ground and crushed it under the heel of his boot.

“Yeah. See ya Spike.” Xander replied with a wave as he turned to go inside the foyer.

Spike stood there watching Xander unlock the main door and walk inside. Then, calling himself ten types of fool, he turned on his heel and strode back onto the street and towards home.