Believe In Me

The plane ride to the Council was set for later that evening at a nearby local airport for the more smaller planes, rather than the commercial jets. Giles hadn’t been too happy to hear Spike and Buffy were tagging along, but then acquiesced that perhaps it was for the best.
Once the three were ready to go, the trekked out, leaving behind the safety of their home, their sanctuary. Buffy missed home the second they’d walked out the door. Granted, home was wherever her mates were, but she knew that trips like such as this were not easy, were not quick and was fraught with pain.

Just a feeling she had.

Especially since Lindsey was in mourning, Angel was keeping secrets, and some scorned vampires had returned from hell to apparently torture those nearest and dearest to Giles and Angel. She had to thank the Powers for small favors though. At least this time she hadn’t been kidnapped and her memories erased. No, this time she had her mates right by her side where they belonged.
Watching Angel across the plane do research on his laptop on Hell dimensions, Buffy leaned into Spike for the comfort of one half of her mates.
“All right, pet?” Spike asked, kissing her forehead.
She nodded, “I’m all right. Just . . . well, I’m tense. Bad memories and all. Plus, Lindsey. Do you think he blames Angel and Giles?”
“He might, hard to say. Do you blame Angel and Giles?”
“No, I don’t. How were they supposed to know? And what could they have done anyway. She hadn’t really shown herself until Elaine; just performed some kind of transportation or glamour spell to ‘show’ herself. I just feel bad for him.”
“Lindsey, Angel or Giles?”
“Lindsey. He was happy for the first time in his life.”
“He’ll find happiness again.”
“It won’t be the same. It’d be even harder the next time around, I bet. He could tell Elaine what he did, who he worked for. Now he probably won’t risk that honesty with another.”
“Everything will work out the way they’re supposed to, luv.”
“Promise?”
“I do.”
“Spike?”
“Hmm?”
“If something were to happen to me, if I died, would you… I mean, would you—“
“Find happiness again?”
She nodded.
“No, pet. I’d stake myself.”
“Spike! No, don’t do that,” she shook her head vehemently.
“Buffy, if you were gone I’d. . . I’d have nothing. This life with you, with Angel…it’s everything to me. If you were gone…you’re the love of my life. The only one I want forever. It’d torture me to be here without you.”
Buffy sighed, “As incredibly romantic as that sounds, I still wouldn’t want you to stake yourself. Especially if Angel was still alive too.”
“Well, Angel would stake himself as well if you were gone,” Angel, who had meandered over told her as he sat down next to Buffy and took her small hand in his.
“Stubborn, stupid vampires,” Buffy muttered. “You still have a duty to protect!”
“Not without you, luv, we told you,” Spike said gently.
“Let’s put this death talk to rest for now, shall we? Lord knows we’ll have enough of it when we arrive,” Angel suggested, leaning back and shutting his eyes.
As if on cue, Buffy yawned loudly. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Soon all three were sound asleep, oblivious to the exact nature of what awaited them.
********
The Watcher’s Council building was a huge monstrosity of a building. An ancient relic itself, the massive castle-like building stood at a crossroads in the middle of the city. It was majestic, and as Buffy noted, creepy. The stories and legends that were held within its walls were at once frightening, heroic and compelling.

It was the stuff legends were made of.

After having landed, and having to wait for the sun to go down, the three were tired and feeling jet lagged. As a result, Spike was crabby, Angel was moody and Buffy was in a slight daze.
“Yeah, we’re heroes,” Buffy muttered as they made their way up to the Council.
“I’m sure Giles will have accommodations inside for us,” Angel told her.
“Oh really, you promise? Maybe I can stay in the same room I’d stayed in before when Travers had taken my memory,” Buffy said sarcastically. It was possible that she was slightly crabby too.
Feeling very much as though they had to get past the gatekeeper in Oz, they were led inside the dark and large Council, and up to Giles and Lindsey.
Taking the elevator, or the ‘lift’ up to the fifth floor, their guide led them down a narrow hallway with shut doors all the way down. Training rooms and offices, Buffy recalled from her stay there.
At the end of the hall, finally, was a large oak door with Giles’ name on it.
“He is expecting you,” their guide told them and briskly walked away, disappearing back down the hall. Angel rapped on the door, and Spike took it upon himself to push it open. The pair scowled at each other and Buffy rushed between them to see Giles. He was standing in front of a large window, staring down at the streets.
“Giles?” Buffy asked tentatively.
Spinning, Giles smiled instantly upon seeing Buffy. He opened his arms and Buffy flew into them.
“Hello dear girl,” he greeted her. “How are you?”
“Tired. Kind of not looking forward to. . . is Lindsey here?”
“He’s in his room. He’s been waiting for you. Do you remember where his room is?”
Buffy nodded, “I do. But shouldn’t I stay and get the debriefing on Darla with Spike and Angel?”
“I’m afraid you know it all, Buffy,” Giles assured her, “And we wouldn’t keep you out of the loop, I assure you.”
“Okay, I’ll um go see him. Is he…I mean, how is he?”
“Depressed. Angry. . . all the things you would expect him to be.”
Buffy nodded and quickly excused herself to find Lindsey.

********

Buffy supposed that her vampires would not understand the fact that she felt a connection to Lindsey still. They shared a bond due to the torment they had suffered at the hands of Travers. They’d both been pawns in his twisted game and while Lindsey had originally carried out Travers orders, he protected Buffy as well as he could from him. He’d been her “Watcher”, he’d been her confidante and he’d been one of the ones that had helped take Travers down in the final battle with the corrupt leader. Through his tenacity to turn his life around, he’d won the respect of Giles – no easy feat—and even her mates, though they would never admit to it.
While it was true that Lindsey had fallen in love with her during that ordeal, he had known from the start whom she belonged to, and never tried for anything more than her friendship once he realized it was a lost cause to catch her heart. They’d kept in touch over the past year and a half, talking on the phone occasionally and corresponding over email. Buffy had been beyond pleased when he’d met Elaine and then proposed to her. Lindsey had confessed to her once that he’d always love her, but Buffy had felt that had faded as soon as he’d become involved with Elaine.
She saw him as her friend, and one time protector. She saw him as a great man that had been through a lot and come out the other side. For all those reasons, Buffy wanted nothing more than to be there for her friend, and help in any way she could.
Knocking on his door, she waited a beat before raising her fist to knock again. The door swung open before she could make contact and she found a haggard looking Lindsey staring at her.
“Hi, Linds,” she greeted him softly.
“Buffy,” he said hoarsely. His eyes instantly welled up in tears. “Buffy, you’re here.” He grabbed for her at the same time she lunged into his arms. He hugged her tight against him, holding onto her as if she had the power to change the reality of what had happened.
“I’m so sorry, Linds,” she said. “What can I do?”
“Just . . . just being here is all I need,” he said hoarsely into her hair. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too. Is the, um, funeral tomorrow?”
“It is. Will you come?”
“Of course!”
“Thank you so much for coming.”
“Of course I came.”
Lindsey detached himself from her and stared at her intently, a soft smile
playing on his lips. "She would have liked you."
"Thank you. And I'm sure I would have liked her."
"Will you sit with me a while? I'm having dinner sent to my room. Share with me?"
Buffy nodded, hating seeing Lindsey seem so lost. "Sure."