Mountain Potential

“Well now that they’re here what are we gonna do about it? I mean, they don’t wanna leave, but if they’re caught we’re all gonna be screwed up the bum with no jelly.” Ellie argued to Red and the rest of the Watchers, referring to Buffy and Angel as if they weren’t sitting right in front of her at the table. “But if they do try’n leave and they’re caught… again with the screwin’ up the bum and no jelly. So, what’re we gonna do about this pickle they’ve put us all in?”

Buffy leaned towards Angel who was beside me and I heard her whisper to him: “I don’t like her; she’s so hard-headed and rude. Who does she think she is?” I saw Angel shake his head, just as much at a loss as she was for an explanation for Ellie.

“Seems like she reminds me of a certain blonde Slayer in her younger days…” I said with a smirk at Buffy.

“I wasn’t that bad, not nearly as cocky and self-assured as she is. Was I?” and she looked at Angel who avoided her gaze; I simply smirked at her indignation.

“Hmph.” And she crossed her arms over her chest.

The Watchers, in discussion with Red, Buffy and Angel came to the decision that Peaches and Buffy would stay within the confines of the mansion until the danger of the Apocalypse passed and whatever demon or demons were behind its coming completely annihilated.

Ellie stood up. “Well, I’m going to patrol the perimeter of the mansion, sweeping outwards to secure the grounds. And I refuse to give up my bed to him.” And she sneered at Angel who gazed back at her with just as much disdain. Willow looked at me and I sighed, getting up to follow suit.

“Hey pet, wait up.” I called as Ellie walked briskly down the hall, making her way outside to begin her night’s duties. She paused and we walked alongside one another in silence for the longest time. Finally I broke it. “So, I hear you’re the one who got the info out of the demon tonight. I also hear tale of how you dispatched that other one in the alleyway. Care to elaborate on why you did that luv?” I asked.

“It hurt you and I was so afraid it had killed you. ‘Course, in retrospect, had I actually paused to think I would have realized that a knock on the head couldn’t kill you. But I saw you down and bleeding and it was coming at you and I ceased to think, I just acted. I was determined to kill it by any means necessary.” She said nonchalantly as we did another sweep, widening our circle of search. I was both surprised and extremely touched; my dead heart swelled with an emotion that I couldn’t place.

“You could have been killed pet. Did you even consider that?”

“It didn’t matter to me, so long as I took it out. But I knew it wouldn’t kill me, that it wouldn’t be a danger.” I looked at this seemingly fragile young woman.

“Ever see a movie called Steel Magnolias luv?”

She shook her head. “No. Why?”

I smiled. “That title seems to always come into my head when I think about you, that’s all.”

She smiled. “I love magnolias; I buy everything I can that smells like them.”

“I know, I always smell it on you.” I murmured, breathing in deeply, catching that faint scent that emanated from her skin.

“What?” she turned her head to me. “You say somethin’ Spike?” I shook my head.

“Nah, didn’t say a thing pet.”

We got back to the mansion close to daybreak, both of us tired from the heated debate over the Buffy/Angel situation and our long night of fruitless sweeping. We both of us trudged our way down the steps to our rooms, saying good night at our doorways. I closed my bedroom door and immediately stripped before climbing in between the sheets; I was asleep before my head touched the pillow. I wasn’t asleep long before I heard a knock on my door. “Come in.” I murmured out loud and, half-asleep, I heard the door open.

“Spike?” I heard Ellie whisper.

“What is it luv?”

“Can I sleep in here? They bunked me with Pam and Sharon and I cain’t git to sleep. Pam snores an’ Sharon moves too much.”

“Mm, hand me some shorts from the middle drawer and turn around.” I said groggily as I sat up, keeping the covers on me. Ellie crept in, shutting the door quietly behind her, and did as I asked. I slipped on the shorts, climbed back into bed and made room for her. “Come on luv, I’m tired.” I said as I held the sheets open for her; she climbed into my bed and I saw she was wearing a black tank top and short girl boxer shorts. I covered us up and was just beginning to fall back to sleep, lulled by the soft yet present scent of magnolias, when she spoke.

“Spike?”

“Mmm?”

“Do ya ever git scared? I mean, do ya ever think to yourself when you git into a battle, ‘this could be it; I could die right now’?”

I rolled over to face her as she glanced up at me with fear in her eyes. Unthinking, I reached up a hand and began stroking her hair soothingly. “Sometimes.” I answered. “You want in on a secret pet?” She nodded so I continued. “Even after over one hundred years of living and seeing things that I would never even have conjured up in my wildest imaginations, I am terrified of death.”

“I git so scared sometimes Spike. Every night, as I’m dressin’ for the night’s patrol or battle, I look at myself in the mirror, knowin’ I’m the last one from my group, and I git terrified. It feels like my heart stops beatin’ momentarily and I wonder if this night will be my last one.” A tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it away and she silently sobbed. “I don’t wanna die Spike. I’m eighteen years old for cryin’ out loud. There’s so much I have yet to do, to experience.” She scoffed bitterly. “Ya know, I’ve never been on a date, I’ve never danced with a boy, never been kissed… nothing. I’m pathetic.” And she sniffled. My heart went out to her; here she was, so much like Buffy was at her age: burdened with the job of being the only activated Slayer around these parts, in charge of training Potentials, of defending this new Hellmouth, and other things people just hand off to her to deal with. And through it all she never complained, and people seemed to forget that underneath it all, she was still a young woman trying to deal with her own emotions.

I cupped her chin in my palm and tilted her head upwards, lowering my head to hers, our lips meeting in a sweet but virtuous kiss; again my heart seemed to fill with an intense feeling, only this time it was coupled with an electric bolt that shot down my spine. “One down.” I smiled sweetly at her as I ended the kiss. I gathered her close to me and placed a kiss atop her head, closing my eyes to go to sleep. My mind was racing. What was I thinking? How could I have done that to Ellie? I should never have taken advantage of her naïveté like that. But the one thing that I couldn’t get off of my mind was the question: But if it was wrong of me, then why do I feel great? Why am I feeling compelled to kiss her until she has to break away to breathe? I didn’t have the answers to anything and my conscious was one big jumble, but I couldn’t deny that I loved holding her in my arms, that Ellie willingly came to be with me out of friendship; it meant the world to me. I concentrated on her even and rhythmic breathing, together with the low but distinct beat of her heart and I was soon asleep.
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