Life of Experience

Part 8:

Xander gazed at the blond calmly. It took him great effort for not showing his shock at the strange change of appearance. Spike was wearing a suit! Everything looked the same except for the suit. The hair was still bleached but gelled back now. Over all, Spike looked a lot more grown up at this moment. More sophisticated. The way he was standing, the way his eyes were widening, the way his mouth was gaping, all of them were more British, definitely more grown up.

Spike was still standing in the same position with the same expression for a whole two minutes.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You look …" Spike said and looked him over again. "Different."

"Good different or bad different?"

Spike approached him. "Good. Very good," he said nodding in approval.

Xander smirked. "You fancy me now?"


Spike stopped walking, now raising his eyebrow. "I see you gained more confidence?"

Xander shrugged. "Well, you like the way I look and well, you're a faggot."

"Whoa, whoa language, sprout. I left for a few years and you learned a couple of unpleasant words.” Xander noticed the annoyance that flashed through Spike’s eyes for a second after he had called him a ‘faggot'.

"Unpleasant?" the younger boy exclaimed with a laugh. "Man, you really are gay."

"Yeah so?" Spike said with an irritated frown.

"It's not manly," Xander replied simply.

Spike's face grimaced in disgust. "Not manly?"

Xander grinned, watching as Spike seemed to consider beating him again. Well, too bad for you bleached freak! Xander was now stronger, taller and muscular. He was not the same weak kid anymore. He would never be the same push over for Spike, it was over!

"Oh, here you are," Giles' voice cut off the heated stares between them, as the man walked down the stairs. "Would you join me for a cup of tea?"

Spike, not taking his eyes of Xander, answered, "Sure, Rupert."

"Xander?"

"Not a tea fan, Dad, and you know it," Xander answered while still looking at Spike. He noted the shocked expression on the older boy's face but ignored it. "Think I'll just go to my room," he said smiling at Giles while heading towards the stairs. Now that wasn't too bad. Not like they broke anything. Few insults wouldn't hurt anyone.


*****

Spike stared at Xander's retreating back amused. He followed his father to the living room. "He calls you 'Dad' now?"

Rupert sat on the couch taking the teapot and pouring some tea for his son. "Yeah, he started that about two years ago."

"So much for the 'No one can replace my dad' whining," Spike mumbled taking the cup his father had handed him.

Rupert frowned unpleased with the comment. "Well, he had to move on eventually. It all started when Mrs. Rosenberg mistook me for Xander's father."

"Mrs. Rosenberg?"

"Oh, you haven't met her yet. She's our new neighbor who moved in with her husband and only daughter. On her first visit she had addressed me as Xander's father. Xander didn't correct her and called me Dad the whole evening."

Spike sulked. That was very strange. As he used to remember, Xander had always separated himself from them. He never acted like he was a part of their family, always acted like a guest. He had never expected that from the kid.

"I was thrilled actually," Rupert went on with a warm smile. "I've always thought of him as a son since the moment he first came to live here. I was very glad that he accepted me as a father."

Rupert took a sip of his tea unaware of the pain that ripped his son's heart to pieces. An old feeling of jealousy started building up again. Spike was aware of his father's preference of Xander. It surprised him that it still made him feel jealous, he should be passed this by now. He was not the same brat anymore. He was older and defiantly more mature to be having such feelings.

"Does uh …" Spike swallowed a lump, eyes cast down. "Does Mrs. Rosenberg still think that you're Xander's real father? I mean with the different last names and …"

"Oh, no, Xander had told her daughter the truth," Rupert said taking Spike's half empty cup and poured more tea in. "She transferred to Xander's school. They quickly became friends. She's a nice girl indeed. A good friend for Xander."

Spike nodded taking the cup. Now Rupert was complementing Xander's' friends, he never did so with Spike's. Well, he did have a good reason not to.

Spike looked at his father in suspicion. "It's strange that since you two are *so* close, you don't consider adopting him … as a real son."

"Xander would never forget his real father," Rupert answered quietly.

Spike noticed bitterly that his father didn't answer the question. The young man was 100% sure that his father wanted Xander to be a Giles.

~ Yeah, well, enough is enough. He has already taken my father, he can't take my last name too! ~

What was wrong with him? Why was Xander making him act this juvenile? That part of his life was buried. He was a new person now. He shouldn't be jealous of Xander. The poor boy was just looking for a family. Spike smiled mentally. Good, now he was back on track.

"So," Rupert said looking at him. "What do you think of Xander?"

Spike shrugged. "Well, he changed. A lot. Do you remember when he used to be short?"

Rupert laughed. "Yeah, I can see why you're a bit shocked. Xander started puberty when he reached fourteen. It was a quick jump."

"Yeah, well, he changed a lot," Spike said with a laugh. He looked at his tea for a while. "He's a handsome young man."

Rupert smiled.

Spike looked up. "And I'm not saying that because of my current state."

"State?" Rupert frowned.

"The homosexuality," Spike clarified.

"Oh, yeah, of course," Rupert gave a warm smile reassuring Spike that he had always been okay with who his son was now.

Spike knew what his father felt about him. He was glad Rupert accepted who he was. Unfortunately, his younger brother didn't.

Spike understood why Xander was being a git to him. It was for the way he treated the kid before he had left. Recalling all his immature deeds in the past, Spike felt absolutely ashamed. Right now he had a strong desire to get to know Xander, wanted to start over new. He would work things out with the boy and let him see the real Spike.

*****

Xander stared at an old picture he had in his drawer. It was a picture that Jesse had taken of him, Giles and Spike four years ago standing around the table of Xander's thirteenth birthday's cake. He remembered how Giles had convinced Spike to take this picture before the guests arrived, since the punk boy didn't want to be at the party.

It occurred to Xander how Spike wasn't much of a punk now. He stared at the 17 year old Spike, who had his hair spiky and was wearing those worn out clothes. The Spike he just met still had his hair bleached, but it wasn't spiky. The suit had also taken Xander by surprise, not to mention, Spike's attitude and facial expression. He didn't change much, but he did look older and more sensible.

Although appearances could be tricky, if Spike had really changed why didn't he visit? Why didn't he answer Giles' calls? Leaving your father hurt and devastated all these years was not right. It pained Xander to see Giles all worked up for someone who wasn't worth it, even if he was the man's son.

Xander's gaze shifted to himself in the picture, he looked up to see his face in the mirror. Chuckling, he could see why Spike was very shocked. He did look like a ten year old in the picture.

Xander leaned back in his chair with a sigh. His life had changed completely after his father's death. At first it was like hell with Spike living with them, but when the blond left for college everything changed for the better. Life was really great now, even better than his time with his father. He admitted unhappily.

He looked at his life before Giles. When his father was alive, none of his family really approved of him. It had always made him confused and he did ask his father many times about it. Ethan said that they still had Aunt Joyce. Yeah, Aunt Joyce was the only one who helped his father raising him. The thing was that Aunt Joyce didn't like Xander either. She had baby-sat him hundreds of times, but she only did it for her brother. It was as clear as the sun shine. But what Xander didn't know at that time was why?

He never heard about Aunt Joyce lately. He never actually saw her after his father’s funeral. She was very angry with Ethan for giving Xander's guardianship to a strange man, who wasn't a Harris. It was a big insult to her. Especially after all the baby sittings and love she had given the little boy. If she really loved him, then where was she now? Xander snorted. She was just upset because she feared of what people might say about her, not because she wanted to be his guardian.

The dark haired boy resentfully bit his bottom lip. He always thought that the Harris' hated him because of his mother, always had in mind that his mother left his father and broke his heart. So the Harris’ decided to blame her only son. That was his idea about what happened between his parents since his father and anyone he knew never talked to him about his mother and her relationship with his father.

But after his talk with Spike about his family, Xander now knew better. He was right about his mother being the cause, but once he knew what his mother was, he realized that they were actually ashamed of him. Disgusted about who Jessica was.

The same thing was happening with Giles' relatives, particularly that Aunt Lily. She had always stared at Xander up and down like he was a piece of dirt. The other relatives were mostly giving him the pity looks, which Xander mistook at first for his father's death until a girl two years younger than him asked, 'Is your mother really a slut?' Then she laughed along with other kids.

Xander grimaced. Screw them! It wasn't his fault his father got drunk and made a mistake!

Shaking his mind from the anguish thoughts, he looked at a more pleasing picture. It was him, Jesse and Willow in Disney Land. Xander grinned. He was glad he introduced Giles to Mr. McNally, Jesse's dad. They got along just great. Xander finally got to go fishing with Giles, who didn’t like fishing, but with the insistence of Xander and Mr. McNally, he stooped. Giles didn’t deny having a good time and that was when he rewarded Xander and his friends with a trip to Disney Land. It had made Jesse and Willow jump with excitement. That was one of the best days of his life.

That was actually why he was happier now. He had Giles, Jesse and his family, Willow and her family. They all loved him and cared for him and that was all what Xander wanted.

Knock. Knock.

Xander turned towards his door. "Yes?"

"Can I come in?" Spike's voice could be heard from outside.

Xander stared at the door and considered saying no with a sarcastic comment for few seconds. But he settled with, "Yeah, you can."

The door opened slowly and Spike peered in with a grin. "Hey."

Xander nodded with a forced smile. ~ What does he want? ~ He thought exasperated. He caught the sight of his computer and dreadfully went to stand next to it. ~ Spike is not breaking my PC like he did with my project. Even though he acts more grown up now, I’m still not risking it. ~

The older boy, not aware of his thoughts, closed the door behind him and looked around Xander’s room. He raised his scarred eyebrow and looked at the brunet amused. “No posters?”

Xander shrugged. “No favorite band, even if there was I don’t think I’d be hanging posters.”

“Wow,” Spike said impressed. “Cool kid.”

“Nah, not one of those cool most popular kids either. Just average.”

“Yeah, well, those are the best ones,” Spike commented with a smile as he continued examining Xander’s room.

~ He’s trying to win me over. Well, I’m not falling for that. ~ Xander thought stubbornly. Man, he hated this new more polite Spike. It was hard to hurt him while he was acting this nice. It would have been much easier to torment the older annoying Spike because he deserved it.

Xander was still feeling bitter over the times he was humiliated and hurt by the blond. He couldn't seem to get passed it. He wanted to hurt Spike for the sake of those old times. Spike being gay was the easiest target to annoy the older boy. Xander didn’t have anything against gay people. He was open-minded and everything, but if insulting gays was his only way to hurt Spike then he was up for it.

“Is this your new friend?”

He looked Spike’s way when he heard the question. Spike was holding a picture of him and Willow. Xander nodded. “Yeah, she is.”

Spike looked at the picture. “She’s cute. Got good hair.”

“That was taken three years ago, her hair is a lot shorter now,” Xander said while he approached Spike. He stood next to him looking at the picture.

Spike glanced at Xander and jumped, laughing. “And you defiantly got way taller,” he commented.

Xander looked at Spike. He was probably a few inches taller than the older boy. He grinned. “Well, you’ve got to see Jesse. He’s even taller than Dad.”

Spike’s smile faded and was now staring at him quietly.

“What?” Xander asked in aggravation.

“Nothing,” Spike shook his head looking away. “Just … you said dad and …”

“Well, someone should call him that since his own son won’t,” Xander said sincerely giving Spike a tough look.

Spike looked sharply at the younger boy. “I love my father.”

“Really? If you really do then why haven’t you answered his phone calls or visited?” Xander's love for Giles had increased with the years. He hated everything that had hurt the middle aged man, including his son.

“I was … I …" Spike stuttered, before looking sadly at the floor. "It was a hard time for me. You won’t understand.”

“What? You getting fucked by your teacher?" Xander asked mockingly with his arms crossed.

Furious, Spike stood face to face with the dark haired boy.

"What? You're gonna hit me again?" Xander spoke without fear. Just try it you big freak!

Spike closed his eyes giving an irritated sigh. "No, I'm not going to hit you," he let out turning away.

"Oh, like you could," Xander challenged.

Spike turned heatedly at him. "Look, I just want us to be friends!"

"I don't be friends with a faggot," the boy snapped. ~ He wants us to be friends?! When did that happen? ~

Spike was about to explode, but raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, I'll just get out of here, seeing as you're not even worth me trying to patch things up."

With that he headed out of the room. Xander stared at the door closing harshly, shocked. Patch things up? Like that would ever happen!

Xander sighed.

He was being childish but couldn’t really help it. He would make Spike pay for what he had done! This was for all the times he was locked in the dark basement alone listening to Spike’s scornful laughter from outside.

Grimacing with mortification, Xander didn’t regret every single word he had just said.

*****