All the Way and Then Some

Thanks to shippy, Shelly, Jessica, and Aisling.

"He's a monster, but if he likes you, he'd be your monster, and he would protect you above all things. But he is a monster. I don't think women mind if he's a monster as long as he's their monster. Take note guys", he grins, "You can get away with anything as long as it's all for her!" - James Marsters


“Rude Awakening”

“Oh my god. How lame is that?” She asked him. How could she think such a beautiful, sacred thing as having a soul to be lame? Well perhaps, it is a bit lame he thought to himself. But he didn’t see someone like Joan ever being with someone like him if he didn’t have a soul (though he didn’t know Joan was thinking pretty much the opposite). He decided to try and convince her.

Joan, realizing that she was sitting on him and his parts for way too long, slowly got up. Randy, nearly groaning at the loss of contact, got up as well, and began his spiel on the greatness that is him and his shiny soul.

“I’m a hero, really. I mean to be cast such an ugly lot in life, and then to rise above it.” He started off, pacing to and fro. Joan watched in amusement at first, pleased that he was trying so hard to keep their friendship in tact. He almost looked like a politician, what with the thumb gestures as he ticked off his points and all.

“To seek out, better, nobler things. It’s inspirational, innit? The two of us, natural enemies, thrown together to stand against the forces of darkness. Lot of trust.” Now Joan was simply becoming annoyed. If there’s like this abundance of trust between us, then why is he so freaked out about me all of a sudden attacking him? Didn’t I explain to him at that magic store place that I felt the need to protect him? Geeze!

“No thought of me hitting you; no thought of you staking me.” He said the last part of her not staking him with extra emphasis.

“Depends on how long you keep yapping.” Before further conversation was able to take place, a gang of vampires showed up. Joan, on autopilot, stood right in front of Randy. The two of them didn’t even have to look at each other. It was as if this unspoken agreement were between them as they began to face off against the vampires. Randy, wanting to feel all manly, ran in front of Joan, attacking the bulk of the group of vamps. Two strays came after Joan. She was able to take out the first one easily. The two strong fighters, one a slayer, the other vampire, never took notice how well they worked together, how Randy, for the most part, kept his back to her, knowing in his deep subconscious that she would always keep a watch out for him- protecting him.

Joan felt an adrenaline rush. Even though they were being attacked by a huge group of vampires, she somehow felt it to be fun. Though she was struck many a time by her opponent, the entire situation felt like this big, learning experience. She soon got into the swing of things.

“Don’t mess with the Joan the V-" Before she could finish her declaration, Willow’s spell had been broken by Xander, who had stepped on the black crystal. Suddenly, Buffy mind was slammed with all of the memories of her true reality. And nothing had felt so painful in that moment of pure, undiluted truth. She was so numb that she had not even felt the vampire hitting her, and then repeatedly kicking her in the abdomen. Her adrenaline rush was gone, and she felt as if she couldn’t breathe.

“Buffy- Buffy!” Spike yelled out to her in desperation, realizing with dismay that she wasn’t even trying to get up. Spike assessed the situation quickly, seeing that it wasn’t that many vamps left. He dusted them quickly. Buffy still lay on the ground in a fetal position. Just as he was about to go over to her, Sharky struck a conversation with him.

“You’re an odd duck, Mr. Spike. Fighting your own kind…" I don’t have time for this, you sod… Spike, fed up at being interrupted by some demon or other every time he wanted to talk to Buffy, grabbed the loan shark by the lapels and got up in his face.

“You’ll get paid. I’m no welsher.” The shark, realizing that Spike wasn’t afraid, all of a sudden looked uneasy. He mumbled something to the vampire before skulking away. Nearly all of his lackeys had been dusted, after all. Spike watched him for a second before turning his attentions to Buffy. She was still lying there, looking off into space.

“You okay?” He asked her gently, reaching out his hand to help her up. Buffy looked at him and his demon face angrily. Ignoring his offered hand, she got up on her own and stormed away from him. Spike looked at her with squinted, yellow eyes. Dammit! What does it take?! I didn’t bloody do anything! Feeling like a ponce in that suit, he headed back to his crypt and put on his usual threads. He knew the slayer wasn’t heading home or to the Magic Box. And since she isn’t here, then she must be at the Bronze he reasoned. Just before he headed back out again, he allowed a few curls on his head to show- just for her.

Just as he suspected, she was sitting alone, at the bar at the Bronze. She wasn’t even drinking anything, just sitting there all sorrowful. Spike approached her easily. He hadn’t said a word, but she felt his presence beside her. She turned her head and looked at him, then she turned around in the opposite direction. Spike gritted his teeth before turning around and walking away.

Where is he going? Buffy thought as she got out of the bar stool to follow him. She clearly expected him to sit just sit next to her, offering his silent support even if she did ignore him. She didn’t want him to go.

“Spike, where are you-"

“I’ve had enough, Slayer.” He hasn’t called me ‘Slayer’ in a long time. He must be really ticked off…

“Here I am, trying to help you. I- I’m trying to do the right thing here, alright? But you won’t cut me a bit of slack. I know that you’re hurting and that you’re upset and…” Spike sighed and dropped his head. He couldn’t figure out what to say to get through to her. Buffy took in his defeated demeanor, and noticed that his hair was a little curly. She remembered seeing him right before he sang that song to her, and how as Randy, he still looked at her with those same, penetrating blue eyes, all soft like. He liked her when he didn’t even know who he was- who she was. It didn’t matter. A vampire is what he is, but not who he is. Spike is so much more than… Why didn’t I see it before?

She placed a hand tenderly on his cheek, lifting his face up. No words are spoken. He can see everything in her eyes. Just one look… Simultaneously, they lean into to each other, meeting the other half way. They give each other a long, soul kiss that seems to last for hours. In that moment to Buffy, everything felt right.

“Goodbye to everything that I knew.
You were the one I loved…”


TBC in “And Back Again”

A/N: Please review! I’m shooting for 5 reviews, so please help me reach my quota!