No Angel
folder
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Angel(us)/Buffy
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
2,715
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
BtVS AU/AR › Het - Male/Female › Angel(us)/Buffy
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
2,715
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Reflection
Warning: Elizabeth cries, angst factor here!
Chapter Eight – Reflection
Mossy colored eyes fluttered closed as a soft sigh fell past small yet pink full lips. Elizabeth had been lounging around in the bedroom for little over an hour now. As soon as she and Lindsey walked in the door; she had gone and locked herself in the bedroom not wanting to be disturbed. Lindsey just looked at the closed door a bit sadly before taking to the things they’d brought back with them and unpacking. He left her clothes alone knowing that she’d have a fit if he did something to them in anyway so he mostly focused on the few personal pieces and pictures she’d brought with her.
Back inside the room Elizabeth stared blankly out the balcony doors and into the bright beautiful day that lay beyond them. Everything she had said to her father, though hurtful had been true. She really now did believe that the day her mother died, so did her father. There was no way in hell that husk of a man was the same person as five years ago. Heaving herself off of the bed she slowly padded toward the doors intending to draw the drapes shut when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and what she saw caused her to pause.
“Look at me” she whispered brokenly
The sight that greeted her when she looked into the mirror wasn’t one of beauty. Her hair was matted and it fell limply around her shoulders. Tear tracks marred her flushed face and her eyes were blood-shot and puffy from crying. Slowly she reached up to run a shaky hand through her hair and cringed at its dry and gritty feel. Suddenly disgusted with herself a scream of rage ripped its way out of her throat and filled the room. Lost somewhere in her mind she viciously knocked everything off of the dresser nearby before moving onto the bed linens. She continued to scream violently, tears streaming down her face as she tore the room apart uncaring of anything else but satisfying her need. Of what exactly she wasn’t sure but just the need to lash out.
After a time exhausted she slowly slipped to the floor and inhaled shakily just before exhaling a broken sob. She looked around the room unseeing as tears continued to blur her vision. Chapped lips began to move slightly as words formed on her lips yet no sound could be heard.
‘Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart’
Sniffling softly she shifted her legs so that she was sitting cross legged on the plush carpet beneath her. Sighing softly her eyes fluttered softly expelling the rest of her tears as the listlessly slipped down her cheeks.
‘Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?’
Picking herself up off the floor she slowly turned back toward the mirror. A shaky hand reached out and traced the reflection that was staring back at her as more words began to tumble from her lips. The difference this time, a soft raspy sound accompanied them.
‘I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am’
As the words came out she realized that they somewhere inside her this had been waiting to come out. And cutting the final ties with her father was what brought it to the surface. She knew that even Lindsey didn’t know things about and she intended to keep it that way but now out from under her father’s roof it was time people were going see her for who and what she really was.
‘Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?’
Desperate eyes focused on the reflection staring back at her. Asking all these questions hoping that somewhere she’d find an answer, all too soon frustration took over her and she couldn’t stand to look at herself or be in that room another moment and she burst through the doors and out onto the balcony. Her steps slowed as she inhaled deeply and sighed when she leaned up against the railing. Below was the entrance courtyard and she couldn’t help but smile as when her eyes saw a few of the building’s children playing tag beneath her.
A gentle breeze picked up and the scent of summers’ end filled her senses.
‘There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why’
Suddenly a pleasant tingling filled her belly and she couldn’t help but let the lightness of the day and her new found freedom fill her heart and the feeling and inflection in her voice.
’Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?’
Elegant fingers took the key from the ignition and gracefully stepped out of the car and walked around to the other side and opened the door; helping his passenger out of her side of the car. They leisurely made their way down the way down the sidewalk the click and scuffling of their shoes was all the sounds that could be heard. Double check the address and finding that it was indeed correct they walked past the ornate gates and were assaulted by the sound of someone singing.
‘When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?’
Angelus stood silent his eyes skyward as he listened to the tiny blonde’s voice to float away with the afternoon breeze. Dawn couldn’t help but stare in amazement at the young woman above them.
“Wow” she whispered
End of Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight – Reflection
Mossy colored eyes fluttered closed as a soft sigh fell past small yet pink full lips. Elizabeth had been lounging around in the bedroom for little over an hour now. As soon as she and Lindsey walked in the door; she had gone and locked herself in the bedroom not wanting to be disturbed. Lindsey just looked at the closed door a bit sadly before taking to the things they’d brought back with them and unpacking. He left her clothes alone knowing that she’d have a fit if he did something to them in anyway so he mostly focused on the few personal pieces and pictures she’d brought with her.
Back inside the room Elizabeth stared blankly out the balcony doors and into the bright beautiful day that lay beyond them. Everything she had said to her father, though hurtful had been true. She really now did believe that the day her mother died, so did her father. There was no way in hell that husk of a man was the same person as five years ago. Heaving herself off of the bed she slowly padded toward the doors intending to draw the drapes shut when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and what she saw caused her to pause.
“Look at me” she whispered brokenly
The sight that greeted her when she looked into the mirror wasn’t one of beauty. Her hair was matted and it fell limply around her shoulders. Tear tracks marred her flushed face and her eyes were blood-shot and puffy from crying. Slowly she reached up to run a shaky hand through her hair and cringed at its dry and gritty feel. Suddenly disgusted with herself a scream of rage ripped its way out of her throat and filled the room. Lost somewhere in her mind she viciously knocked everything off of the dresser nearby before moving onto the bed linens. She continued to scream violently, tears streaming down her face as she tore the room apart uncaring of anything else but satisfying her need. Of what exactly she wasn’t sure but just the need to lash out.
After a time exhausted she slowly slipped to the floor and inhaled shakily just before exhaling a broken sob. She looked around the room unseeing as tears continued to blur her vision. Chapped lips began to move slightly as words formed on her lips yet no sound could be heard.
‘Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart’
Sniffling softly she shifted her legs so that she was sitting cross legged on the plush carpet beneath her. Sighing softly her eyes fluttered softly expelling the rest of her tears as the listlessly slipped down her cheeks.
‘Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?’
Picking herself up off the floor she slowly turned back toward the mirror. A shaky hand reached out and traced the reflection that was staring back at her as more words began to tumble from her lips. The difference this time, a soft raspy sound accompanied them.
‘I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am’
As the words came out she realized that they somewhere inside her this had been waiting to come out. And cutting the final ties with her father was what brought it to the surface. She knew that even Lindsey didn’t know things about and she intended to keep it that way but now out from under her father’s roof it was time people were going see her for who and what she really was.
‘Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?’
Desperate eyes focused on the reflection staring back at her. Asking all these questions hoping that somewhere she’d find an answer, all too soon frustration took over her and she couldn’t stand to look at herself or be in that room another moment and she burst through the doors and out onto the balcony. Her steps slowed as she inhaled deeply and sighed when she leaned up against the railing. Below was the entrance courtyard and she couldn’t help but smile as when her eyes saw a few of the building’s children playing tag beneath her.
A gentle breeze picked up and the scent of summers’ end filled her senses.
‘There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why’
Suddenly a pleasant tingling filled her belly and she couldn’t help but let the lightness of the day and her new found freedom fill her heart and the feeling and inflection in her voice.
’Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?’
Elegant fingers took the key from the ignition and gracefully stepped out of the car and walked around to the other side and opened the door; helping his passenger out of her side of the car. They leisurely made their way down the way down the sidewalk the click and scuffling of their shoes was all the sounds that could be heard. Double check the address and finding that it was indeed correct they walked past the ornate gates and were assaulted by the sound of someone singing.
‘When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?’
Angelus stood silent his eyes skyward as he listened to the tiny blonde’s voice to float away with the afternoon breeze. Dawn couldn’t help but stare in amazement at the young woman above them.
“Wow” she whispered
End of Chapter Eight