Buffys Little Secret

CHAPTER 8 - ITS NOT THAT EASY

I can't believe her, why would she do that?

She was supposed to be different, she's BUFFY.

I'm the one who fucks with people's heads, I cheat on people. Not her.

She was being so selfish, I though she respected what I wanted. Apparently not.

Bring! Bring! Bring!

[ch0sen 0ne: Faith?

ch0sen 0ne:Look Faith I'm really sorry, can you talk to me?

ch0sen 0ne: I know you said stay away but IMing you isn't seeing you, its not even hearing you]

Another box popped up.

[RedWiccaWR: Faith, can we talk?]

Great, now she's got Red on my ass too. I replied to Willow and ignored Buffy.

[ch0sen tw0: About?

RedWiccaWR: Buffy's a wreck over what happened.

ch0sen tw0: Then she shouldn't have let it happen.

RedWiccaWR: She was confused, everyone makes mistakes.

ch0sen tw0: Yeah? Well I don’t like that her "mistake" wound up hurting me.

RedWiccaWR: Just talk to her, let her apologize.]

Bring! Bring!

Damnit Buffy, stop talking. I still ignored her.

[ch0sen tw0: No.

RedWiccaWR: Why?

ch0sen tw0: I just cant right now alright? I'll end up saying something that'll hurt her.

RedWiccaWR: Do you know who she picked?

ch0sen tw0: I don’t care.

RedWiccaWR: She picked you, Faith. I talked to Buffy after and she told me she was going to break up with him when she left the Magic Box.

ch0sen tw0: She still lied to me.

RedWiccaWR: *sighs* I don’t understand why you're so stubborn

ch0sen tw0: Way I was made.

RedWiccaWR: Well its annoying. Stop trying to be the tough guy that you're really not.

ch0sen tw0: I'm fucking tougher than all of you put together! I can handle myself and the situations I get put in.

RedWiccaWR: No, you cant. Your running now, don’t you see it?]

I am? No I'm not!

[ch0sen tw0: Fuck that.

RedWiccaWR: If you were as tough as you say you are, then you'd be able to talk to Buffy instead of hiding from her.

ch0sen tw0: I'm NOT hiding from her.

RedWiccaWR: Prove it.

ch0sen tw0: Fine.]

I'll fucking show her.

I clicked on B's box and it popped up.

[ch0sen 0ne: I'm sorry, really I am.

ch0sen 0ne: Damnit Faith, say something!]

I sigh.

[ch0sen tw0: I'm here.

ch0sen 0ne: Oh! Great. I mean uh… hold on let me start over.

ch0sen 0ne: Faith I am truly sorry. What I did was way beyond wrong to you, I didn’t think about how it would make you feel. I know you have trust issues and that’s why I know what I did was bitchy. I was selfish and I do understand is you don’t want to be with me, but I want to still be your friend. I can't lose you completely, you're like a part of me.]

Whoa. Really? I felt myself involuntarily smile a bit.

[ch0sen tw0: B, I… I don’t want to lose you as a friend either. But I don’t trust you right now, you get that right?

ch0sen 0ne: Yeah, I do…

ch0sen tw0: What you did really hurt me, Buffy. And that’s not something I'm just going to forget about or forgive easily.

ch0sen 0ne: I know.

ch0sen tw0: Look, I'm going to go to bed, I'll see you tomorrow okay? For patrol?

ch0sen 0ne: Okay. Goodnight Faith.

ch0sen 0ne: Night B.]

I signed off and laid on my bed and sighed. I really do like B, and I want to be with her. But she's gonna have to earn my trust back if she wants it to. I cant be her girlfriend if I'm always thinking she's cheating on me, or lying to me, or doing something else deceitful.

Its just gonna have to take time I guess.

*********

I woke up the next morning to a pounding on my door.

What. The. Fuck.

I sleepily rolled out of bed and answered the door. Willow stormed in, obviously borrowing one of Buffy's power streaks.

"You're not with her? What the hells wrong with you Faith! I know you love her!" She looked at me and wrinkled up her face, "For gods sake put a damn shirt on."

I looked down at myself, panties and nothing else. Well, that’s what she gets for waking me up at… I look at the clock, 7:13 in the god damn morning. God, what is it with the Scoobies and waking me up early to torture me?

Then my head snapped up as something registered.

"I am NOT in love with Buffy!"

"Yeah, okay, be in denial land. I don’t care. But you're screwing up right now."

Fuck, I liked timid little Willow better. This one's giving me a headache. College really does change people.

"How do you figure? B's the one that fucked up, not me."

"I know she made a mistake, but your making an even bigger one by letting her get away! She's convinced you don’t like her anymore!"

"Let her think what she wants, she deserves a little self torture."

Oh, that was mean.

"Faith stop being a god damn bitch for two seconds and look at the big picture. Buffy likes you, a lot more than she's willing to admit. You love Buffy--" I was about to argue but she held up her hand, "I'm not done. You love Buffy. Buffy screws up and apologizes. You hold a big grudge that’s going to end up tearing you two apart totally. Are you seeing this picture coming into view now?"

No.

"It's been one day! I'm not going to forgive her the next day! God, this isn't something that can be fixed that easily!"

"She didn’t mean it!"

"Get out Willow," I point to the door. "I bet Buffy really appreciates you advocating for her but I don’t. This is her problem, let her deal."

She glared at me, "Don’t come crying to me when it all goes to hell."

"Don’t worry, I wont." I walk over to the door and hold it open for her. "Bye."

She storms out and I close the door behind her.

I really I don’t get this from the rest of the Scoobies. I can't deal with this.

TBC…