Chase This Night

Oh wow look at that! I new chapter! Hope everyone had a great holiday! I’m back and with a new nifty computer! So let all my lurking end! Please feed back guys. It’s the only way I know I’m not totally insane… or if I AM insane… or something. Uh… on with the show!

Part 14


I come down the stairs and the chatter that had been filling the air comes to a sudden and abrupt stop. And all eyes are on me. Its ok though. I’m showered and changed, squeaky clean with my armor gleaming. It’s a far cry from when I first walked through the door. It was like they had been counting the seconds. The door was barely open before I was slammed with a barrage of questions.

All about Faith.

I didn’t have any answers. I mean, what could I tell them? That she didn’t want me? That my love wasn’t enough for her? That I had walked home sobbing in the rain trying to put together the pieces of my shattered heart?! Yeah, that would have gone over REAL well.

I love the smell of melodrama in the morning. Seriously, I was a mess.

I had retreated to the sanctuary of my room, spent a good half hour bawling my eyes out, then, finally dragged my butt off the bed and out of that cliché high school moment. I was the Slayer I should be stronger than this. I kill things! Big ugly bad type things!

I had looked at myself in the bathroom mirror for a while. Still slightly bruised and cut, an interesting mix of greens and blues… my eyes were red and puffy. Damn I looked like hell. But I couldn’t help think, what was it that she wanted? After all this time, all that we had been through, we finally get to this place and it wasn’t ‘enough’?

Who the hell did she think she was anyway!?

I told her that I loved her… what more could she possibly want?!

Did that sound conceited? Well, so the fuck what!

I mean, SHE was the one who started all this right? She said it first! And she did SO much more than just that too!

She pulled ME into those crazy dreamscapes, showed me all her demons, and fears… let them flash before my eyes... I never noticed the how scared she was that night… not until I saw it all played back to me. Blood on her hands, tears in her eyes… I would have been fine NEVER knowing, but god, she just HAD to put it out there…. In the dream, she let me kill her, cause she thought that’s what I wanted…


But it’s NOT! I never wanted her to die, and I didn’t ASK for any of this! She didn’t have to come here! I know I told her about this big thing that’s on the loose…but, she could have said no right?!


Why would she risk it? Risk coming back to a place that holds so much pain for her where she’s HATED, just because we MIGHT have reached some kind of understanding? I mean, the Council was after her for fucks sake! Surely she realized they would look here eventually! Her arm hadn’t even gotten a chance to heal, and she runs back here?

Back to me?

And I SO didn’t ask for her to apologize for all the shit between us either! She just DID! I didn’t WANT her to bare it all the way she did on the train… It was like she put her soul in my hands. All her pain all her hope she just let me take it…she gave me everything and asked me with those deep beautiful eyes if it was enough….

She … Oh…

She said it FIRST…in a tiny whisper that let me know she hadn’t said those three words together in a very long time… like she was scared of them… and…

Oh my god it was SO much MORE than just that!

It was everything.

And it was like that realization had washed over me like a wave. All that she had done, all she had risked. It was for me! And what did I give her in return? Hollow words with no action to back it up? Ok the anger is gone and I feel like crap again… but for an entirely different reason.

God I can be so blond some times!

I can’t help but think about what she said to me in that dream… the hope in her eyes, just as they had been last night and god, this morning. Yeah I’m getting it now.

The girl is terrified. Maybe even more than I am.

She’s scared that I’m gonna let her down again… that she might mess up again It could all so easily go to hell… but it WON’T. Because they weren't hollow words. I just need a chance to make her see that.

I have to prove it to her. She’s more than proved herself to me. I can’t believe the determination that’s coursing though me. It was like back on that train… understanding. But the dilemma is less than ideal. How am I supposed to win her over in the midst of all that’s going on? I have not only a potential apocalypse here but all my family and friends to win over too?!

Talk about multi-tasking.

And then there is Riley. I can feel something inside me melt a little at the thought of him. I’m not naïve enough to believe that I love him, that what I feel for him could EVER possibly compare to what I feel for Faith. But still. He represents everything I thought I ever wanted in this life. Everything I was TAUGHT to want since I was a little girl. A princess wishes for her knight. He gallantly slays her dragons and they live happily ever after.

It’s supposed to be easy…And Riley fits so easily in that spot. With his ‘all American boy’ looks and attitude, he wants to be my prince.

And it does feel like a fairy tale when I’m with him… sometimes.

People see us holding hands as we walk across campus and they smile… my friends make those ‘awww’s when we kiss…we DO make an attractive couple after all.

A beautiful stereotype.

And I revel in those moments… Being seen as NORMAL for just a moment. I can forget then that I’m not… that I come home every night covered in dust and blood, thankful just to be breathing still.

And sometimes it actually does feel good to be wrapped in those large arms. And I don’t ALWAYS feel smothered when he towers over me. Sometimes I feel protected. But then I think about how I can snap him and the white horse he rode in on into pieces without even breaking a sweat.

I slay more than just dragons.

I’m not supposed to want another princess… God Faith would knock me half way around the world if I ever called her something so girly. This is gonna hurt Riley so bad. When we’re alone, he talks so much about the future… and I’m always a part of it. I’ve never thought further ahead than what it takes to kill the thing I’m hunting. Never about tomorrow, cause tomorrow I could be dead. But his tomorrows are filled with suburban houses and PTA meetings…. And those aren’t bad dreams… but they aren’t MY dreams. He deserves someone who can make them come true.

Lately I’ve been dreaming of her.

So I know what I have to do now. It’s not gonna be easy, I’m actually a little terrified, but thinking about all she’s done all she wants us to be, I know its gonna be worth it. SHE is worth it.

And now, my foot hits the bottom stair and the whole gang is looking at me. It’s ok though. I look around and see everyone but Riley. It’s probably for the best that he isn’t here… one step at a time and all.

“Not that I was expecting applause or anything guys… but a good morning maybe?” I think I’m gonna try to keep this light as long as possible…

“Ok… morning Buff” Xander starts cautiously, only to be interrupted.

“Yes, good morning. Now, what the hell is going on with that other Slayer?” Anya… well, you gotta love her directness.

“Umm honey, sweetie, we talked about that whole ‘tact’ thing, remember.”

“No Xander, I’d like to know what’s up too… I mean you ran after her last night and everything Buffy… and you DID kick Faith’s ass right? Or well at least give her a good hard questioning? Send her back on her way to wherever her way is? Like jail?”

Despite the babble there is nothing funny about Will’s _expression… I can practically hear her teeth grinding from across the room. I already know she’s gonna be the toughest. Before everyone else can jump on the bandwagon though I stop it all right here.

“Listen guys, Its not what you think…” and I think it’s SO not what they think… but I can already see Xander rolling his eyes.

“Well that’s good ‘cause I was thinking murder and mayhem part 2… or is it 3?”

“No. It’s nothing like that. I…I haven’t exactly been telling you guys everything that’s been going on.”

“What do you mean Buffy?” Giles ask and he has that curious frown going on. I try not to be intimidated.

“I’ve been in contact with Faith…”

There I said it.

“What for? How long!?” Xander is getting more and more high strung by the minute… Willow is just seething quietly, and I’m losing control of the conversation… fast.

“The past couple of days. Slayer dreams.”

“Dreams? As of… have they been prophetic in nature?” Giles asks… and there go the glasses…

“Not as far as I can tell, but I can’t ignore the timing. Nothing for months and then, all of a sudden when this big bad moseys into town, with a all these ties to ‘The Slayer’ ya gotta wonder…”

“Yeah I wonder if she’s working with it to end the world!” And now he jumps to his feet… arms flapping and everything.

“No! Xander, will you just let me finish? We talked… about a lot of things, about everything. She’s here to help.”

“Help!? Buff you can’t be serious!” Arms still flapping… he’s gonna take flight any second now.

“Yeah I am, and so is she… Its all so different now.” I push on though. I have to make them see.

“Buffy certainly you’ve considered the consequences of this.”

“Yeah Giles I’ve been doing nothing but considering--”

“But she tried to strangle me!”

“You’ll have to excuse Xander. Seeing this Faith person was quite traumatic for him. She was his first lover other than Mrs. Righty and the whole experience last night has left him both terrified and aroused.”

“Thank you for that summary Anya, although I’m sure that’s more information that any of us will ever require…” Giles looks equally disturbed and annoyed. And I SO didn’t need the reminder of the whole Faith and Xander naked thing…. And whoa where did that flash of jealousy come from?

“You can’t possibly think that she’s changed? After everything that’s happened?” Xander’s insistent questioning pulls me back and I think only a couple of days ago the answer to that question would have been an emphatic ‘hell no’ but now…

“Yeah I do.” Simple as that. So much has changed. And I look around at my family as they all try to process it all. My eyes finally rest on Willow, asking.

“No.” Is her answer. And her voice is like ice. My heart plummets.

“I can’t do it again... go through that HELL she put us through…”

“Willow calm down..”

“No Terra I won’t calm down! That BITCH put all our lives in danger. Killed people!! MURDERD, lied and betrayed us… all for her own selfish, jealous vindictive--”

“NO! You don’t understand, you don’t know what it was like for her--”

“Oh and I suppose you do now? How do you know she’s not playing you all over again?”

“Its not like that…I just--”

“She raises a point Buffy, how can you foresee Faith’s motives to be genuine? This could be nothing more than yet another of her manipulations.”

“No… listen guys in these dreams… she showed me things, everything. And yeah she messed up, big time. But she gets it now guys. She sorry for it all… god that doesn’t even begin to explain it. She seriously regrets the choices she made, but she’s not looking for forgiveness. She’s just looking for a chance.”

“Right. And why should we trust her?” She like talking to a brick wall… Willow’s never been this way.

“I’m not asking you to trust her. I’m asking you to trust ME. Every damn night we walk a line, its on the knife edge of darkness. And Faith slipped. And you have no idea how easy that fall is, how accepting and GOOD it can feel.”

“But Buffy you’ve never crossed that line.”

“Yeah, because I have a tether to this side… to the light. I have you all, my family. Faith’s got nothing, no rope and no one to catch her. And all she wants now is a chance. A chance to do it right.”

And now they ALL have the thinking frown going, and I’m holding my breath. This HAS to work. Finally Xander sighs and sits down again.

“Ok I’m on board. But I’m not breaking out the ‘welcome back’ fruit basket.” He takes Anya’s hand and she too gives a nod of approval.

“That was a very nice speech Buffy. I found it convincing.” I give them both a smile, and then I look at Wills.

Fuck.

“You know this sucks…that its just total shit right?” I’m trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Willow just said ‘shit’ so I don’t even realize she’s up and in my face until she’s talking again.

“I’m not going through it again.” And the ice… the venom that she puts in those few words is shocking.

And just like that she leaves. Walks right out of the kitchen and its not until I hear the door slam that I snap out of my stupor.

“Well that was overly dramatic.”

“Anya, sweetie… tact.”

I ignore the exchange I rush to go after her and my hand is just on the doorknob, but Tara’s hand on my shoulder stops me.

“J-just give her time… Seeing Faith again, it just brought back all those insecurities… It’s a lot for her to deal with…she’ll come around.”

“God, do you think so?”

I feel desperate. I need my best friends with me on this… If Willow can’t even deal with Faith being back, how can she handle… well… all the rest.

“Yeah she’s been really stressed lately. She w-wants to help with this new bad… s-she’s been studying a-a lot of spells... umm… and do-doing some really umm… in-intense magic.”

“Intense? Like with making with the great balls of fire last night?” I question. And Tara looks around, nervous. And even though we’re alone in the foyer now she lowers her voice even more than normal when she speaks.

“Y-yeah like that… it’s… w-well it’s of… the black variety.” And this little revelation comes as a total shock.

“Black magic!? That’s…like, dangerous right?” I try to keep my voice down but I’m just totally blown away here… I mean, Willow? The black and evil arts?

“No! Well, not… not always. Umm… it’s s-safe…you know, in moderation.” And she says the last part a little funny. In a way that gives me a sinking feeling in my chest. But moderation is good right?

“Oh well, that’s alright I guess. I mean Willow’s totally ‘responsible girl’. She knows her limits right?”

“Right. Limits…” And there goes that sinking feeling again… but Tara smiles and its comforting.

“She just needs some time to deal. I-I’ll talk to her later.”

And with that I nod and we go back to meet the others. There seems to be a silent agreement just to give Willow a little space for now. Giles for his part is ready to take on the more pressing matters. He starts right in the second I sit down at the table.

“I’ve been doing some research, using the accounts of what everyone has told me about last night. It would appear what you faced last night was an ancient breed of vampire. The first children of the original…”

“Oh just fantastic. Momma’s brought the kiddies out to play.”

Giles ignores Xander’s nervous sarcasm and pushes on. We’re all worried we just have different ways of showing it I guess.

They are known as the Torak-han. They are the vampires that modern demons fear. Extremely powerful and resistant to most kinds of attack.”

“Right, when I tried to stake it, nothing happened."

“Yes, you would have received the same result had you attempted to harm it with a cross or holy water. The Torak-han were created thousands of years prior to the first coming of the Christ. Thus making any kinds of religious relics obsolete… It can respond only to the most basic distinctions of good and evil. Darkness and Light.”

“I think they can sense dark forces and l-light ones… t-that might be why it was so afraid of Willow.” I think everyone agrees but I’m not so sure… I get another pang in my chest as I think about how that thing totally freaked when Willow started making with the mojo.

What could scare something that’s existed forever?

“So sunlight can kill it.” Anya concludes

“Right as well as fire, the incarnation of the sun here on earth.” Giles agrees

“Chopping off their heads works pretty wicked too.” The husky timbre of her voice resonates suddenly through the room. We were all so involved in the conversation we didn’t even realize anyone had entered.

“Faith!”

Yeah, what Xander just shrieked …Faith.

Jesus she looks unbelievable. She’s still standing in the doorway, the late morning light shining at her back. It just gives her this glow.

Her hair is a tumble of dark waves around her shoulders and she’s wearing… she’s wearing…shit I have to drag my eyes back up to her face to avoid suspsision.

But it’s a look that’s distinctly what I’ve come to know as ‘new Faith’. Jeans that look totally comfy and hotter than hell all at once. Torn and tight in ALL the right spots. And that shirt gives the ‘old Faith’ edge that just gets me wet in seconds. It’s just a simple tank, deep red of course. But God the way she fills it!

I hate that she’s wearing her denim jacket as well… its blocking my view.

Eyes on her face Buffy. Ok… no, higher… good. I have to swallow hard when I meet her eyes. My throat is suddenly so dry. She looks to fuckin beautiful… her eyes are painted up, all smoked out, and they just look bottomless but her lips coated in a clear gloss…and all I can think about is how they feel on my skin…

I’m using all my willpower to restrain myself and not jump across the table and have my way with her right on the kitchen floor. Its hard… like REALLY.

She takes a few steps into the kitchen, looking around. I can tell everyone is holding their breath. Including me. I was hoping for a little more warning. Maybe get her alone first… talk to her about all I’ve realized in the short time since I’ve seen her last. Her eyes finally rest on me and she raises an eyebrow. Damn that’s sexy…

Oh guess that was my cue.

“Hey Faith…I um. I’m glad you decided to come over.” Jesus I’m nervous, sweaty palms and all, but I get out of my chair and walk over to her anyway. Not too close… I’m only so strong

“I said I would B.” She looks right at me and she says it all soft like.

“Right, we were discussing what happened last night. Everyone knows what the deal is now… I um, explained everything.” And that gets me BOTH eyebrows and she actually looks a little panicked.

“Everything?”

“Well, almost…” I smile as I grab her hand. I feel her try to pull away but I hold on tight and lead…err… drag her across the kitchen to the table where we’re all gathered.

“Guys?” I give them all ‘the eye.’ Making sure they understand to be civil. That its not an option.

“Hi Faith… Really good timing.” Tara breaks the ice and I’m so thankfull for her. I could feel the tension rolling off Faith in waves but it’s just something about Tara that just makes everyone relax.

“Hey.” Xander says cautiously… not cold, but not exactly welcoming.

“Yes It’s nice to have you on board. If last night it any indication we will be in dire need of your assistance.” Giles makes a better effort

“Just here to help out… B told me some of what’s been going down. Figured you could use a little extra slay power.”

“Yes! She also convinced us all that you weren’t going to maim anyone this time. Buffy you should do your speech for Faith!” Anya suggests and I’m considering getting Xander a ball-gag for his birthday.

Ok REAL uncomfortable here

“You made a speech?” But it gets Faith to smile, and I feel her hand relaxing in mine.

“Well sorta…” I smile at her, and she smiles back at me and I suddenly have butterflies and goose bumps and all sorts of other tingly feelings.

“That’s cool. You were always good at the super girl thing.” And she goes and takes a seat next to Xander.

He doesn’t exactly look comfortable, but he’s not screaming in terror. It’s a start.

“Well Faith, I hope you’re looking forward to a day of decoding and allergic re-reactions.” Tara says, then, she tosses her one of the larger most dusty of books from across the table.

Faith raises and eyebrow.

Tara raises one of her own. And there is about 3 seconds of absolute unbearable tension.

Until Faith cracks, with a shake of her head and that dimpled grin, she opens the book.

And it was like that the ice was broken. We spent the rest of the morning huddled over piles of dusty books exchanging theories. Some progress was made but not nearly enough. My attention was split though. I was mostly just waiting and watching.

Waiting for an opportunity to get just a minute alone with her. Watching her every move. She would catch me once and a while, and I knew she was expecting me to look away, shy at being caught. But instead I would just meet her eyes… give her a smile.

I’m showing her you see.

I think it’s making her nervous. It’s not part of her plan. She thinks she can just tell me we can’t be together, that I’m not ready to be with her. She thinks she can say that, right after making love to me. And she expects me to do nothing… after she’s done so much.

She thinks she can hide behind MY insecurities so that I don’t see her own?

She told me it wasn’t enough… well Faith is gonna get more than she bargained for. I just hope its not more than she can handle.

I stretch my arms and lean back in my chair a little, and I have to bite my lip to keep from smiling. Faith’s eyes were totally all over me on that one.

“Guys… Isn’t almost lunch time or something?” I throw out, hopeful. I really need a break.

“Oh yes I do believe it is.”

“Yeah I can go for a break. Pizza?” Xander agrees with Giles, and my stomach definitely agrees with his suggestion.

“Sounds good.”

“Me and Ayn can go pick it up then…. Back in a few.” He calls on their way out.

“Right, I think I’ll take this opportunity to run to my place. I think I have a volume there that will be helpful.” And Giles is out the door too… muttering something, in Latin I think.

“I should go talk to Willow, she’s probably back at the dorm…”

And just like that, Faith and I are alone. That was easier than I thought. But something tells me that this conversation is gonna be far from easy. She’s standing all the way across the room from me. Leaning against the countertop… fidgeting with a spoon, nervous.

Sexy and unintentional.

“So, ya think something lit a fire under all their asses, or is it just me?”

“No, its not you, not entirely. They’re dealing. Its just gonna take some time. Everyone is on board here.”

“Everyone but Red, right?”

“Yeah, umm, she doesn’t really agree with my whole view on the situation.”

“And what view would that be, B?” she finally puts the spoon back on the counter and looks me in the eye. Its like a magnet and I’m up out of my chair and moving towards her.

“You know how I feel about you Faith.”

“Yeah, we’ve talked over all that shit this mornin” And her tone is dismissive. At least on the surface. Beneath all that façade I can feel her. She’s anxious, the tension rolling off her liek bitter liquid... it burns me.

She finally breaks the eye contact, like that could stop this energy that’s flowing between us. Liek she can just make herself stop feeling me. Not a chance.

“No Faith, YOU talked. You just made the decision, that despite how I feel about you… how we BOTH feel, that we can’t--”

“Right Buffy. We can’t. End of story.” I see her fists clenching at her sides. She’s trying to fight it… I’m not gonna let her.

“You think you can just make this decision for me? Faith I lo--”

“I know Ok! You told me!” She tries to back away from me but she’s got no where to go.

“Yeah I did… and you told me too. You’ve SHOWN me, so much in just these last few days. In our dreams… by coming here. You put it all out there, and now, its my turn”

I come to a stop in front of her, not too close. I don’t want her to freak out and bolt. But god, just a few feet away and I’m getting chills.

“Your turn for what?”

“I’m gonna show you Faith. I’m gonna make you believe it.” And I put every ounce of conviction I have into those words.

“Buffy it doesn’t matter whatever you think you can show me… It can’t work.”

And she just blows it off!

“You’re such a wuss ya know.”

“Excuse me, but fuck you Buffy, I’m trying to do the right thing here!”

Bull shit.

“Yeah? Well you’re still a wuss… we both are…just total cowards.” She just rolls her eyes and gives that dismissive shake of her head.

“You say you want to do the right thing? Well tell me then Faith, doesn’t this feel right? Don’t WE feel right?”

And that gets her, She knows it’s the truth because she feels it too. It’s the real reason she came back here.

“It’s… Its not about that.” She tries to deny it but her voice just comes out shaky

“Just let me show you Faith, what it can be like… I know you’re scared and--”

“I’m NOT scared!”

“Ok, ok, sorry. But, can you give me a chance… I just need a chance to show you.”

“Its not that simple Buffy there’s so much we--”

“Do you trust me Faith?” I have to stop all this avoidance. It all comes down to this anyway. What she asked of me and what I’m asking of her.

“What?”

“Trust me.” And I move even closer, right in her personal space.

“What… what if it all goes to hell again. I mean this ‘us’ thing… B, its gonna mess up your whole life!”

“Well that’s just it Faith, its MY life. And I want you to be a part of it…”

And she just sighs, and shakes her head again. I think I’m winning!

“I didn’t plan it to go this way ya know.” She says it low, with that little grin that shows her right dimple, and she’s looking at me through those thick dark lashes. The sight makes my breath catch in my chest because its almost… accepting.

“YOU had a plan?” I say it with all the cute I can muster. Which is a lot. Or so I’ve been told. But I cant help but turn up the flirting, because I can feel her relaxing, even though I’ve moved closer to her, even though she’s practically trapped as she leans against the counter.

Even though I can feel the heat radiating off her. God I want her so much.

“Hells yeah I had a plan! A good one too.”

And wow is that a pout? I think she’s flirting right back.

“I was gonna come here, help out with this bad… maybe settle for a while, get a new place. Just start slow ya know?”

“Wow Faith, that just sounds so… responsible!”

“Well, it was bound ta happen one of these days, yeah?” At that I just nod, but then I replay what she just said? Settle?

“Settle?”

“Yeah, kinda tried of running.” And now all I can do is hug her. My arms are around her waist and my face is pressed against the soft warm skin of her neck before I even realize what’s happening. And she lets me!


In fact, she slides her arms around MY waist too!

“This mornin’…” She starts, whispering in my hair. “waking up like we did… I never knew I could want somethin’ like that.”

“And do you still?” I ask just as softly, and I feel her nod. I squeeze her tighter… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go.

“Its gonna work out, you know.” My lips brush just behind her ear and I feel her tremble. God I want to kiss her.


“Won’t be easy though B, you sure ya think I’m worth the effort?


Ok, and now I HAVE to kiss her… just a little one, a brush against the corner of her mouth. I feel her smile against my lips.


“Definitely worth it F.” And then she kisses ME. And Faith doesn’t do little kisses. Her lips are sliding over mine, all warm and wet, but still just so gentle. It makes me gasp.

I feel her arms tighten around me first, then her tongue sliding over my bottom lip. Teasing, but asking as well. And I’m just about to give her anything she wants when I hear a door slam suddenly.

“Willow wasn’t at the dorm, but she left a no—Oh my GOD!” Tara comes to a screeching halt half way into the kitchen. And me and Faith jump apart but not anywhere fast enough.

“Oh shit!” Faith shouts, her eyes are cartoon-big as she attempts to push me back a little.

So now I guess is the whole moment of truth. Put up or shut up Buffy. Faith looks like she’s gonna bolt any second now. And Tara’s mouth just keeps opening and closing, I think her CD is skipping.

“It’s… umm. Tara, this isn’t what it looks like.” Faith finally manages to stutter out. All the while inching away from me. Trying to wiggle out form where I have her trapped between my body and the counter.

I make my decision. And it’s a hell of a lot easier than I thought.

I take a step back, a small one, enough to give Faith a little room. But I hold on tight to her hand as I turn to face Tera completely. And when I finally find my voice I know the words are the truest I’ve ever spoken.


“No, Tara, its exactly what it looks like.”

TBC!

Oh what have I done now?! Sooo very sorry for the delay. Don’t hate me! Feed the troll! She is much with the cage shaking! Only your feedback can sooth the beast!