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Deja Vu - the updates
folder
AtS AU/AR › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
52
Views:
4,270
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
AtS AU/AR › Slash - Male/Male › Angel(us)/Spike(William)
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
52
Views:
4,270
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Angel: The Series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 68
Deja Vu
Pairing: Angel/Spike
Rating: NC17
Author: Jane Alexander
Disclaimer: No infringement of copyright is intended. The characters belong to Joss. I’m just borrowing them. I’ll try and return them undamaged, honest!
Document version: 23 November 2004
Feedback: janealexanderxxx@hotmail.com
Archived at: http://www.foreverfandom.net/viewstory.php?sid=4394
This story is AU and is a sequel to The Guy in Question.
Warning: includes character death.
Chapter 68
Angel’s apartment - late evening the same day
*******************
They were approaching the office on their way back from taking Doyle and Cordelia home for the night. It had been a quiet day but Angel was tired nonetheless and looking forward to getting to bed. Of course, his eagerness had nothing to do with the fact that Spike had apparently decided to carry on sharing his bed.
“You were talking to Wesley for a long time this afternoon,” Angel said, as they pulled into the parking garage.
“I could say the same thing about you and Cordelia,” Spike replied. “Not jealous, are you, Luv?”
Angel pulled into his parking space and switched off the engine.
“No, I just wondered if everything was all right. What were you talking about?”
They both got out of the car and headed for the elevators which led to the entrance foyer.
“This and that…” Spike said. “He’s doing okay. I thought he’d have trouble coming to terms with everything but he seems to be coping… keeping a brave face at any rate, not to mention positively looking forward to our little excursion to Pylea.”
Spike pressed the button and the elevator doors opened. Angel followed him inside.
“Ah, about that…”
Spike hit the button for the first floor.
“What?”
“I spoke to Lorne earlier today…”
“You went to see him?”
“No, he rang to invite us to a party he’s giving this Friday. I wasn’t going to mention just yet that we were thinking of going to Pylea to look for Fred but it just kinda slipped out. Thing is, he’s not keen on joining us. I think his exact words were, ‘Over my dead, decomposing and fetid body’.”
The elevator stopped and the doors opened.
“He’ll come round. Don’t worry about it, Luv.”
Spike stepped out and Angel followed.
Angel watched as Spike unlocked the office door. The lights were on but all was quiet. Wesley must have already gone to bed. Good, that meant he’d have Spike all to himself. There was something he wanted to talk to him about and the only place he felt comfortable raising the subject was in bed.
“I’m gonna take a shower and kip down on the couch,” Spike said, heading for the stairs leading down to Angel’s apartment. “See you in the morning. ’Night, Luv.”
What?
“Spike, wait,” Angel called after him. “Don’t you want to sleep here? I thought after last night you’d decided it was okay for us to… you know… continue sharing a bed.”
Spike glanced over his shoulder but didn’t stop walking.
“Don’t matter what I want. Just don’t think it’s a good idea, that’s all.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
Spike turned around to face Angel.
“Yeah, course I do. It’s not that Luv… Oh, Hell! I just don’t feel right about it any more.”
“What do you mean? I don’t understand. What have I done?”
Spike took three steps toward Angel and then hesitated.
“Nothing, Luv. It’s not you. It’s me…”
Angel waited for Spike to continue but he showed no sign of elaborating.
“Spike, please. Tell me what’s happened to change things between us?”
“Look this is gonna sound crazy, I know, but until today I thought I’d lost the other you for good. Now it seems like he might turn up here after all.”
“Wesley told you that?”
“Yeah, he’s got a theory. Trouble is after what the Oracles did there’s no way to know when he might arrive.”
“Oh,” Angel said, sitting down on the edge of the sofa bed.
“Yeah, oh!” Spike echoed, coming to sit beside him. “Fuck, this is weird! I know you’re the same person but it feels like I’m cheating on him if I sleep with you.”
“But it’s not like we’re sleeping together,” Angel said. “All we’re doing is…”
“… sleeping together. Yeah, I know.”
“Then what are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Neither spoke for several minutes.
“I’m not sure how I feel about this,” Angel eventually said.
“I know it sucks, Luv. I’m sorry. You know I love you but I love him as well and it feels like you’re two different people. I know you’re not. That’s the crazy thing about this…”
“When he arrives, what will happen to me?”
“I dunno, Luv.”
“Will I remember any of this? The other me, I mean. Does reality split? Will I continue to exist in another timeline?”
“Better ask Wes, Luv. I’m no expert.”
Angel had a horrible feeling he already knew the answer.
Spike stood up.
“I should go,” he said.
“Please…” Angel said, reaching out to grab Spike’s arm. “Don’t go.”
“I have to, Luv. I can’t do this to him.”
Angel let his fingers slip down to encircle Spike’s hand.
“I’m sure he’d understand.”
Spike gently shook Angel’s hand away and took a step backward.
“Oh, come off it, Luv. You know he wouldn’t. You’re him. How would you feel about it?”
Good point.
“I’m not sure.”
“You’d be bloody angry, I know that much. Not sure you’d be able to forgive me”
“Yes I would.”
Angel knew he’d never be able to forget though.
“But what about how I feel now?” he said. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”
Spike dropped to his knees in front of Angel.
“Please, Luv, don’t make this any harder than it is already.”
“I love you.”
“I know.”
Spike lowered his head.
“I need you, Spike. I need you now, not in four year’s time…”
He leaned toward Spike and lifted Spike’s chin forcing him to make eye contact.
“Angel, we can’t…”
Angel leaned closer. Spike sat back on his heels putting clear air between them.
“Remember what Lorne said… one kiss…”
Angel allowed his hand to fall back to rest on his thigh.
“I know…”
“If I stay, the world’ll be ending tomorrow, not in four year’s time.”
“Do you really think I have so little control?”
All he wanted was to fall asleep with Spike in his arms and wake up beside him. Was that so much to ask?
“We can’t risk it, Luv, but, in any case, it doesn’t change what I said before.”
Spike stood up.
“I have to go.”
“Please… don’t leave me, Spike. I lost you once. I don’t ever want to lose you again.”
Spike hesitated.
“You won’t, Pet. I promise.”
***************
Pairing: Angel/Spike
Rating: NC17
Author: Jane Alexander
Disclaimer: No infringement of copyright is intended. The characters belong to Joss. I’m just borrowing them. I’ll try and return them undamaged, honest!
Document version: 23 November 2004
Feedback: janealexanderxxx@hotmail.com
Archived at: http://www.foreverfandom.net/viewstory.php?sid=4394
This story is AU and is a sequel to The Guy in Question.
Warning: includes character death.
Chapter 68
Angel’s apartment - late evening the same day
*******************
They were approaching the office on their way back from taking Doyle and Cordelia home for the night. It had been a quiet day but Angel was tired nonetheless and looking forward to getting to bed. Of course, his eagerness had nothing to do with the fact that Spike had apparently decided to carry on sharing his bed.
“You were talking to Wesley for a long time this afternoon,” Angel said, as they pulled into the parking garage.
“I could say the same thing about you and Cordelia,” Spike replied. “Not jealous, are you, Luv?”
Angel pulled into his parking space and switched off the engine.
“No, I just wondered if everything was all right. What were you talking about?”
They both got out of the car and headed for the elevators which led to the entrance foyer.
“This and that…” Spike said. “He’s doing okay. I thought he’d have trouble coming to terms with everything but he seems to be coping… keeping a brave face at any rate, not to mention positively looking forward to our little excursion to Pylea.”
Spike pressed the button and the elevator doors opened. Angel followed him inside.
“Ah, about that…”
Spike hit the button for the first floor.
“What?”
“I spoke to Lorne earlier today…”
“You went to see him?”
“No, he rang to invite us to a party he’s giving this Friday. I wasn’t going to mention just yet that we were thinking of going to Pylea to look for Fred but it just kinda slipped out. Thing is, he’s not keen on joining us. I think his exact words were, ‘Over my dead, decomposing and fetid body’.”
The elevator stopped and the doors opened.
“He’ll come round. Don’t worry about it, Luv.”
Spike stepped out and Angel followed.
Angel watched as Spike unlocked the office door. The lights were on but all was quiet. Wesley must have already gone to bed. Good, that meant he’d have Spike all to himself. There was something he wanted to talk to him about and the only place he felt comfortable raising the subject was in bed.
“I’m gonna take a shower and kip down on the couch,” Spike said, heading for the stairs leading down to Angel’s apartment. “See you in the morning. ’Night, Luv.”
What?
“Spike, wait,” Angel called after him. “Don’t you want to sleep here? I thought after last night you’d decided it was okay for us to… you know… continue sharing a bed.”
Spike glanced over his shoulder but didn’t stop walking.
“Don’t matter what I want. Just don’t think it’s a good idea, that’s all.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
Spike turned around to face Angel.
“Yeah, course I do. It’s not that Luv… Oh, Hell! I just don’t feel right about it any more.”
“What do you mean? I don’t understand. What have I done?”
Spike took three steps toward Angel and then hesitated.
“Nothing, Luv. It’s not you. It’s me…”
Angel waited for Spike to continue but he showed no sign of elaborating.
“Spike, please. Tell me what’s happened to change things between us?”
“Look this is gonna sound crazy, I know, but until today I thought I’d lost the other you for good. Now it seems like he might turn up here after all.”
“Wesley told you that?”
“Yeah, he’s got a theory. Trouble is after what the Oracles did there’s no way to know when he might arrive.”
“Oh,” Angel said, sitting down on the edge of the sofa bed.
“Yeah, oh!” Spike echoed, coming to sit beside him. “Fuck, this is weird! I know you’re the same person but it feels like I’m cheating on him if I sleep with you.”
“But it’s not like we’re sleeping together,” Angel said. “All we’re doing is…”
“… sleeping together. Yeah, I know.”
“Then what are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Neither spoke for several minutes.
“I’m not sure how I feel about this,” Angel eventually said.
“I know it sucks, Luv. I’m sorry. You know I love you but I love him as well and it feels like you’re two different people. I know you’re not. That’s the crazy thing about this…”
“When he arrives, what will happen to me?”
“I dunno, Luv.”
“Will I remember any of this? The other me, I mean. Does reality split? Will I continue to exist in another timeline?”
“Better ask Wes, Luv. I’m no expert.”
Angel had a horrible feeling he already knew the answer.
Spike stood up.
“I should go,” he said.
“Please…” Angel said, reaching out to grab Spike’s arm. “Don’t go.”
“I have to, Luv. I can’t do this to him.”
Angel let his fingers slip down to encircle Spike’s hand.
“I’m sure he’d understand.”
Spike gently shook Angel’s hand away and took a step backward.
“Oh, come off it, Luv. You know he wouldn’t. You’re him. How would you feel about it?”
Good point.
“I’m not sure.”
“You’d be bloody angry, I know that much. Not sure you’d be able to forgive me”
“Yes I would.”
Angel knew he’d never be able to forget though.
“But what about how I feel now?” he said. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”
Spike dropped to his knees in front of Angel.
“Please, Luv, don’t make this any harder than it is already.”
“I love you.”
“I know.”
Spike lowered his head.
“I need you, Spike. I need you now, not in four year’s time…”
He leaned toward Spike and lifted Spike’s chin forcing him to make eye contact.
“Angel, we can’t…”
Angel leaned closer. Spike sat back on his heels putting clear air between them.
“Remember what Lorne said… one kiss…”
Angel allowed his hand to fall back to rest on his thigh.
“I know…”
“If I stay, the world’ll be ending tomorrow, not in four year’s time.”
“Do you really think I have so little control?”
All he wanted was to fall asleep with Spike in his arms and wake up beside him. Was that so much to ask?
“We can’t risk it, Luv, but, in any case, it doesn’t change what I said before.”
Spike stood up.
“I have to go.”
“Please… don’t leave me, Spike. I lost you once. I don’t ever want to lose you again.”
Spike hesitated.
“You won’t, Pet. I promise.”
***************