Starting Over Again

hey all, sorry for not updating any sooner. you have no clue how much time my art work takes me. i just had this project which took up all of my free time. as much as i enjoy art, it pisses me off that it takes up all of my time. this part is a bit longer than the other chapters have been, thought that it would be only fair since you all had to wait so long for my update. really sorry about that but i can't exactly help it.

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Faith and Buffy left the hospital with Willow and Tara, they went to Buffy’s dorm room straight away. Willow would be sleeping at Tara’s didn’t walk the whole way with Buffy and Faith.

Things between Faith and Willow had been a bit tense at the hospital but after Faith apologized sincerely and thanked Willow for what she had done (removing the police files) things loosened up a bit.

Willow hadn’t forgiven Faith yet because she wanted to see Faith change, not only hear Faith saying that she was going to change. Faith knew this and hadn’t expected anything different.

Tara and Faith hadn’t met each other before so Faith didn’t need to worry about seeking forgiveness from her. Tara had told Faith though that if Faith hurt Willow again, she would hunt down the slayer and show her real pain.

Faith saw the sincerity behind that threat and knew then, straight away, that although Tara was a quiet one she was most definitely a force to be reckoned with.

Things between Faith and Buffy were good, they were being nice and both wanted to start over, forgetting the past. Faith knew that Buffy still felt bad about stabbing her but she always tried to reassure Buffy that it had to be done and that it was ok.

Although they were both trying to move on from their history there was one thing that Faith couldn’t get over, no matter how hard she tried.

Buffy.

Faith still felt the same way about her. She tried to ignore her feelings for Buffy but it didn’t work. It hadn’t worked the first time ‘round and it didn’t seem to work now either.

Buffy was oblivious to Faith’s feelings towards her, just like she had been the year before.

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Buffy opened the door to her dorm room, number 214 Faith noticed, she then pushed the wheelchair into the room.

“So this is mine and Will’s room…” Buffy walked over to Willow’s bed and removed the sheets to replace them with new ones that Faith could use.

Faith looked around the room, it was sorta what she’d expected. It was girly, but not too girly, she was just happy it wasn’t pink.

Willow’s side of the room was very tidy and there was a very old ‘Dingoes Ate My Baby’ poster on the wall. Willow’s desk was full of books, papers and binders, there were a few highlighters as well. Faith saw a bookshelf which was filled, she could see that they weren’t school books but books about witchcraft.

Buffy’s side of the room wasn’t very different, it was pretty much the same actually faith noticed. There were a few small differences though. Buffy’s bookshelf for instance was only half filled, with a few books about demons and some ‘normal’ reading books. Instead of posters on the wall, Buffy had a huge picture frame filled with pictures. ‘Like a picture collage thing.’

Faith moved closer to the frame to examine the pictures. Most of them were with Xander and Willow, there was also one from Giles and an other with her mom. Buffy’s graduation picture was there as well, Faith subconsciously rubbed her stomach when looking at it. There were other pictures with people Faith had never seen before, she assumed they were old friends from Hemery in LA. There was one picture that stood out to Faith though, it was the one of her and Buffy. The one of the day they had gone to the lake together.

Faith turned her wheelchair around to look at Buffy. Buffy was just done with changing the sheets and looked up to see Faith frowning at her.

“What’s wrong Faith?”

“Where did you get that picture?” She asked while pointing out the picture of the two of them.

“When I was getting all your thing from your apartment I found a box of pictures and a few CD’s. That picture was in one of the CD cases… I have all your stuff at mom’s, we can go there tomorrow if you want to. Do you want the photo back? I’d kinda like to keep it, I really enjoyed that day. Good times, ya know…”

Buffy was babbling now and she knew it, she just wasn’t sure about how Faith would react to her going through Faith’s apartment and things.

Faith smiled at the memory of that day but then rerun everything Buffy had just said.

“You went through my apartment?”

Buffy nodded slowly, still not knowing if Faith’s reaction was good or bad so far.

“My things are at your moms now then? All pictures and CD’s?”

Buffy nodded again.

“Chill, thanks for taking care of my things then,” she smiled, “and you can keep the picture if you want to. Feels nice being put on the wall you know. The picture I mean, you get what I mean right?”

Buffy laughed a bit and smiled, “yeh I get it, and thank, I really enjoyed the day so wanted to have something to remind me of it.”

Buffy looked at her alarm clock and saw that it was quite late, or very early, depending how you looked at it. It was nearly 4 am.

Faith had only been awake for a few hours but she felt like she’d been up for days.

Buffy remembered the phone call she’d gotten around 23.30, just three and a half hours ago, about Faith’s awakening.

The slayer yawned, really noticing how tired she was. “I don’t know about you Faith, but I’m beat.”

“Yeh, so am I. Weird, I’ve been sleeping for 8 months and I wake up tired.”

She rolled herself to Willow’s bed which she would be calling her own for now. Buffy got Faith a t-shirt and some boxers to sleep in, she gave them to Faith so that she could change.

The top Faith could change easily but seeing that she was still in the wheelchair and unable to move her legs she needed help with her boxers.

Faith hated feeling so helpless. She had always been helpless when she was younger so people took advantage of her or she was helpless because people took advantage of her. Anyway, point was, Faith couldn’t stand it to feel like this.

Buffy, after she was done changing, saw that she had to help Faith again.

First she held onto the wheelchair so that it wouldn’t move when Faith pulled herself out of it. Once Faith was on the bed Buffy removed Faith’s pants. She helped Faith put on the boxers and then tucked faith in.

Faith had never been tucked in before when she was a kid so this was new to her, she enjoyed it though, especially since Buffy was the one doing it.

Throughout this whole procedure they hadn’t said a single word to each other, for some reason it all seemed so surreal.

Buffy kissed Faith on the forehead like she’d done in the hospital 8 months ago, she then turned off the lights and went into her won bed.

After a few minutes of silence Faith heard a small voice call her name.

“Faith?”

“Yeh B?”

“It’s really good to have you back.”

Faith felt herself smile before replying.

“It feels good to be back.” She said sincerely.

“Goodnight B.”

“Goodnight F.”

They both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

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Early the next morning when Faith woke up she knew straight away that this would be one of the most embarrassing times of her entire life.

“B” she whispered.

Buffy didn’t reply.

“Buffy” she said a bit louder.

Buffy started to stir but didn’t wake up completely.

“Buffy” Faith was speaking at a normal tone, not bothering to speak softly anymore, who ever said she was patient?

“What?!”

Faith looked at her hands before looking at Buffy again.

“I… I uh…”

“Spit it out faith, you just woke me up, better be important.”

“I gotta go to the bathroom” Faith mumbled but due to her slayer hearing Buffy heard it.

“Oh, sorry. Just give me a minute.”

Buffy got out of her bed and moved the wheelchair next to Faith’s bed. She was cursing herself for moving it away in the first place. She then helped Faith into the chair and brought her to the bathroom which was opposite their room.

As Buffy opened the bathroom door she ran into an obstacle she hadn’t thought of at all, she never had any problems with it before so just hadn’t thought of it. She cursed herself for the second time that very early morning.

‘How could I have forgotten about the fucking doorstep?’

She turned around to look at Faith. She thought for a moment and then moved towards faith, picked her up and carried her over the obstacle that had been bothering her.

“What you doin’?”

“Would take too much time trying to get the chair in here, they should really have a handicap bathroom.”

Faith opened a cubicle she was close to so that Buffy could carry her into it.

“Right, how do we do this then?” Buffy asked.

“How about you put my feet on the ground but hold me up. That way I can drop the pants, then you place me on the toilet and give me a minute.”

Buffy did that and left the cubicle to give Faith some privacy.


Buffy put Faith back into the wheelchair and brought her back to their room.

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When Faith woke up the second time that day it was 2 pm already. She looked around but didn’t see anyone, Buffy’s bed had been made and was nowhere to be seen.

The phone had been put onto Faith’s night stand for if Faith needed to call someone (‘Who would I call? I don’t know any of the phone numbers from the people I know.’) next to the phone there was a small note.

“Good morning Faith,
I just went out to get some breakfast, I’ll be back around 2. Later on we can go by my moms and pick up some of your stuff. I have to go there anyway, it’s laundry day. After that we should stop by Giles’s. I have my cell with me if you need anything. It’s speed dial 3.
Buffy.”

Faith smiled to herself, it really seemed as if Buffy did want to be friends like she’d said and wasn’t just lying about it.

As Faith placed the note back on the night stand the door slowly opened. Buffy walked in quietly with a bag in her hand which obviously contained the food. Behind her Willow and Tara were walking hand in hand.

Buffy put the bag on her desk and turned around to see Faith already awake.

“Hey you.” She said softly, “you’re awake.”

“Yeh” Faith replied, just as soft as Buffy had. ‘What the is going on here, why is there softness?’

“You been up long?”

Willow and Tara sat down on Buffy’s bed, Faith nodded to them, acknowledging them. Tara smiled and Willow gave a small wave.

“No, woke up like 5 minutes before you walked in. you got good timing girlfriend, I’m starved. Ready for some real food.”

Faith used her arms to set herself up straight against the bed board behind her. Buffy gave Faith some bagels and sat down next to her.

Faith turned to the two quiet witches.

“Don’t you guys want any?” She offered.

“Oh, no thanks. We just had some, that’s were we ran into Buffy.” Willow said.

“We were on our way here actually, I needed some of the spell books that Will has.” With that said Tara got up and looked through the books looking for the right ones.

“Oh B, I didn’t get to thank you.”

“Thank me?” Buffy looked at Faith questionably.

“Yeh, about this morning. You know, with the whole…” Faith said softly while making some weird hand movements trying to explain what she meant with out actually saying it.

“Don’t worry about it Faith, it’s all good.” Buffy replied, again with that softness. This was confusing the both of them a lot but not as much as it was confusing Willow. Tara just had a knowing smile plastered on her face but no one saw as her back was turned to them.

“What happened this morning then?” Willow wondered.

“Faith just needed some help with something and I helped her out.”

Before Willow could ask what that thing was Tara stood up with some books in her hands.

“I got what we needed. You want to try that spell now?”

“Sure, the sooner the better I guess.

“Buffy didn’t bother to ask what it was because she was sure she wouldn’t understand half of it anyway.

Tara and Willow left but first made sure that Buffy promised to call them when she was on her way to Giles’.

Faith finished her bagel and got lost in her own thoughts.

While Faith was thinking Buffy was getting a bag to put her laundry in, when she turned around she saw that Faith had started to frown, clearly lost in thoughts.

“What is it Faith?”

Faith snapped out of the daze she was in and looked at Buffy for a minute before answering.

“I was just thinking, how is it gonna work when I need to take a shower?”

“I’m gonna help you with that, help you in the shower and whatever you need help with.”

“You mean as in take the shower with me?”

“Yeh, what else would I do?” Buffy said as if it was no big deal.

“Dunno… Uhm, I was sorta hoping I could take a shower before we left… Could you-uhm-” “-help you with that? Faith, you’re gonna be living here. I’m gonna help you with as much as I can. Getting a little wet isn’t gonna stop me.”

She got Faith’s towel and helped Faith into the wheelchair again, she then put some toiletries on Faith’s lap.


At the showers Faith took off her top and Buffy had to help her take off the pyjama pants while holding her up. She put the water on and asked Faith to check the temperature. While Faith felt the water Buffy’s eyes wondered down Faith’s body.

‘Getting wet right now, but like I said, that ain’t gonna stop me. Wait, what the hell am I thinking! I’m saying that Faith is making me wet, what the fuck, faith isn’t supposed to make my body react that way. But look at how Faith’s body looks like with all that water running down it. Ok, stop right there! No more such thoughts, bad thoughts!’

Buffy tensed as she continued her thoughts, Faith noticed and turned her head to look at Buffy. She hadn’t taken her clothes off so se had become wet as well but Faith could se that that wasn’t bothering Buffy, it was something else.

“B, you ok? You’re completely tense…”

“Huh? Yeh. I’m good. The water hot enough?”

“Yeh, it’s fine.” Faith could see that whatever Buffy had been thinking about was still bothering her a bit but she was pushing it away. Faith hoped that one day Buffy would confide in her about whatever troubled her. That would take some time though, and Faith knew that.

Buffy helped Faith getting washed and after that dried up. Back in the room Buffy helped Faith get dressed as well. Buffy’s thoughts from earlier had freaked her out but pushed them away even further when she saw that Faith looked as if she was gonna cry.

“Faith?”

Faith looked up, trying to hide her tears somehow but it didn’t work because Buffy got a hold of her hands.

“Faith, what is it?” Buffy asked worriedly.

“I hate this. This whole being helpless thing. I can’t do anything alone, with whatever I do I need someone to be close to me for when I need help. I can’t even take a shower alone or go to the bathroom. I even need help getting dressed! I fucking hate this! I hate being helpless.”

While Faith was crying more Buffy just held her and stroked her back.

“Faith, it’s gonna be ok. I promise you. You’re gonna heal, you’re gonna walk again. We will work out again and then go slaying. It’s all going to be ok. I promise. Ok?”

Faith looked up at Buffy again and nodded, Buffy got a tissue and wiped away Faith’s tears. She hugged Faith one last time, gave her a kiss on the forehead and then got up.

“Come on, we’re gonna go to my moms.”

Faith smiled and was happy that Buffy was there to be supportive and was helping her through this. Faith knew that things were gonna be harder until she was fully recovered but she was determent to recover. With the physiotherapist, her slayer healing and Buffy’s help she was sure it wouldn’t take too long.

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Since Buffy didn’t have a car they had to walk all the way to Revello Drive. Faith didn’t mind though, this way she got to spend some time outside, get some fresh air and some sun in her face. It was also nice to see how Sunnydale had changed in the months she was out, or rather, how Sunnydale hadn’t changed.


“Home Sweet Home.” Buffy said as they moved into the living room.

“I would offer you something to eat but I highly doubt that mom has any food here. She isn’t gonna be back until the day after tomorrow.”

“That’s cool. I’m not hungry anyway.” Faith replied.

Buffy looked at Faith in mock terror, “Oh my god! Fait isn’t hungry. What’s going on? Are you ok?”

“Ha Ha Ha, very funny. I’m just not hungry is all. Excited though.”

“Yeh? What are you excited about then?” Buffy asked.

“Wanna know what my room is like ya know, the one in the basement. You were talking about it in the hospital yesterday.”

Buffy smiled widely, she had forgotten about the room but now that Faith had reminded her of it she was as excited about it as Faith was.

“We can’t take the wheelchair down so I’ll have to carry you again. I don’t think I’ve used my slayer strength so much in my daily life like I’ve done for the past two days.”

Buffy smiled at Faith, letting her know that she didn’t mind doing all of this.

“Alright, lets get going then. Gotta see you room!”

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TBC.... Hope you enjoyed the update. if there are things you'd like to see happen, let me know and if it fits in the story line and everything i might put it in. i'll credit the people i got the ideas from. thx for reading