Shadows across the heart

Chapter 8

Wesley dragged himself out of bed at the repeated knocking on his door. Grumbling and yawning mightily, he staggered to the door, trying to shrug into his robe.

Opening it, he was surprised to see Angel on the other side. “Angel…!” And Wes darted a quick look over his shoulder, relaxing at the sight of his empty bed.

Turning back around, he blinked nervously at a strange look that passed over the vampire’s pale features. “Wes…” Angel replied quietly. His lips twisted in a brief smile. “Can…can I come in…?” he asked softly feeling more lost than ever.

“Uhm…certainly…come in, please,” Wes said anxiously, stepping away from the door. He was feeling twitchy for some odd unaccountable reason.

He sat on the couch and watched the vampire pace with concerned eyes. Something was horribly wrong, he was certain. Angel was rapidly descending into a godawful brood The The vampire paused at the window, and stood simply looking out. “Xander’s pregnant,” he said baldly. His words dropped like a stone in a pool of still water.

Wesley blinked. He looked around the room then back at Angel. “I’m sorry,” he said politely, then gave a light laugh. “For a minute, I thought you said that Xander was pregnant. Which, of course, is ridicule…”

Angel interrupted the human, “I did…”. And turned around, his face was remote yet all his senses were steadily feeding him information. His mouth thinned as his eyes narrowed. Amber lights flickered dangerously in his hooded gaze. Then forcefully Angel relaxed himself.

The English man’s mouth dropped open, his eyes rounding in shock. “But…but…he’s a male. A man. He’s not of the female persuasion. Is he?” he asked, looking at Angel in sudden doubt. With things so…weird, he used the word judiciously, he wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out after all these years that Xander was in fact a female.

The other gave a bitter chuckle. “No, Xander’s most definitely a male,” he replied shortly and sat down heavily in an armchair.

“But…how? I mean, I KNOW how in the biological sense. I mean…between a male and a female,” Wesley stammered. “But you and Xander are males…you’re not of opposite sex!” He exclaimed triumphantly, a ‘So there!’ look on his face.

Angel sighed and threw himself back in the chair, a dark brooding look on his face. “True, but apparently within days of a Guardian and Defender pairbonding, certain physiological changes begin taking place in us. This change is especially true when the two are of the same sex; the Guardian is the one to bear the child. When the pair is male and female, if the Guardian is male, then the Defender is the one to bear the child, and vice versa. Trust me, Xander’s pregnant,” Angel said harshly, without looking at the stunned human.

“Are you…are you sure…?” Wesley stammered, flushing at the flat, annoyed look Angel gave him.

“Oh, we’re sure. I was reading one of the journals of the second Guardian of the West, and it gradually dawned on me that he was talking about his pregnancy! All this time, I thought Xander was wearing a new cologne or something. What I smelled was his body changing. We just spent the last several hours at the doctor’s office.”

“Hours…?” Wesley said quietly, his eyes narrowing. “But I thought you had to pairbond every night. Did you…?”

Angel lowered his eyes. “No…that’s another side effect of Xander’s…condition,” he said, flinching away from saying the dreaded ‘P’ word. “The pairbonding subsides a little bit. We’re not consumed by the urgency to mate. It’s still there, but bearable. According to Dr. Stern, he’s the doctor we saw,” he added at Wesley’s inquiring look, “The pairbonding will resume about six to eight weeks after the birth.”

“So…” Wesley said thoughtfully, staring at Angel with neutral eyes. “So, you’re going to be a father. And with Xander.” He looked away for a few minutes, then back again, hiding his emotions behind a blank mask. He looked at Angel, his eye shadowed and withdrawn. “Why are you here…?”

Angel looked at him. There was a look of shimmering pain in the vampire’s dark eyes. “Because I wanted you to know now, rather than tomorrow when I tell everyone else.”

The human nodded slightly, his smile a little shaky around the edges, but still there. Resolute even.

“Quite,” Wesley said getting to his feet, perforce so did Angel. They stood awkwardly, staring at each other across a chasm that seemed to grow wider each day. It seemed they could only see each other from the shattered remnants of what they once shared.

A rope of ‘What might have been’ that Wesley still clutched, both afraid to let go. Jagged, sharp rocks awaited him below, should he continue to hold on.

What more needed to be said? They couldn’t be together, not now and not later. And while fifty years may seem like nothing to a vampire, it was a bloody awful lot of years for a him to wait for Angel to be free of his duty.

Wesley looked searchingly at the tall, broad shouldered male, and silently said goodbye. He felt a sense of peace overcoming him as his decision gave him new strength to face the future. A future without Angel. And he smile gently, his smile growing surer as he grew confident in his decision.

This was the right thing to do.

“Go home, my friend, I’m sure Xander likely worrying himself to pieces wondering where you are,” he said quietly. He walked past Angel to the door, his head held high, silently saying goodbye to the past and hello to the future.

He ached, but it was a good ache he knew. The kind of ache that let you know a damaged limb was mending. And he would be okay. That much he knew. He just hoped someday Angel would find someone to give him the love the vampire needed so desperately. If not with Xander, then with another.

Softly he wished Angel good night, his eyes clear and direct.

Angel smiled painfully, and walked to the open door. He cast one enviously look behind him, his smile fading. He understood, that good night meant good bye. Not that Wesley would necessarily be leaving the gang, just that the man was not going to be pining after him.

Not anymore.

He paused at the door, then looked down at the floor. “If…if you should see Gunn, you might want to let him know too. Maybe both of you should take tomorrow off,” he said suggested quietly and walked away, leaving Wesley more than a little shocked as he closed the door.

The human was still standing there, gazing at clo closed door. Wondering when the vampire would ever stop surprising him.

Behind him the bathroom door opened and Gunn stepped out. He had only a towel between him and glorious ebony nudity. The young man’s eyes were dark with concern. “Yo, English, you okay…?” he asked softly, crossing to the other man.

He turned Wesley towards him, framing the lean face in his broad hands. Searching the shadowed blue gaze for some troubling emotion. Gunn glared at the door, then transferred his attention back to Wesley. And gently he stroked a thumb down a weathered cheek, feeling bristles rasp against the pad.

Wesley smiled, softly kissing the callused flesh. He leaned into Gunn’s body, his eyes glowing. “I am now,” he whispered catching the wide, sensuous mouth with his own. Swallowing whatever Gunn was going to say. Hungrily he swept into the warm interior, refamiliarizing himself with the unique taste.

Gunn pulled away desperately, gasping for breath. “Not that I’m not grateful, but…” Wesley kissed him again, stopping him from thinking.

“Wes…!” he said shakily, backing away. “I heard some of what was going on. I know… you only turned to me ‘cause you was lonely and shit, but I kinda thought with the science he laid on ya that you’d be a little more…upset,” he said weakly backing away from Wesley’s amorous hands.

“Did you know that vampires have the olfactory senses a bloodhound would envy?” Wesley said dreamily, his hand stealing out and tugging away Gunn’s only covering. Revealing the smooth chocolate skin to his avid gaze. He licked his lips, making a low humming sound of pleasure. His eyes dropped with deliberate slow intent, a visual caress that made Gunn shudder with need. And Wesley smirked when the thick, brown penis elevated from its nest of wiry curls. It was his turn to shiver, twitching with fitful need.

In a quick, snakelike move, he was pressed up against Gunn. A hard push to the broad chest, and they were falling to the bed. Wesley landed with his knees on either side of the huge torso.

“Yeah, so…?” Gunn shakily quavered, moaning when Wesley began playing with his nipples. The nibbling kisses and kittenish licks were driving him crazy, but it was the sight of that pink tender tongue laving at his chest that made him harder than steel.

“So, Angel knew you were here the whole time. He even gave us the day off,” Wesley smirked at the astonished look on his lover’s face.

“English, you for real?!”

Wesley nodded solemnly, a glint of laughter in his eyes. “For real,” he assured Gunn. Yes, he still hurt. But with Gunn’s attention and…love, he would be okay. Better than okay, he would be ‘fuckin’ alright’.

Mainly because he would never want to hurt this big, gentle man that seemed to see the sun, the moon and the stars in him. His expression softened.

Gunn’s eyes took on a decidedly lecherous glow, hiding his uncertainty behind sex. He could see from Wes’ shadowed eyes that his friend was still hurting, still stuck on Angel. He wasn’t blind, he knew English had only turned to him out of desperation and loneliness. But he could afford to be patient; he had about fifty years to convince Wes to stay.

He smiled more broadly up at Wesley’s shining face and pulled the man down for a long thorough kiss. Sending up a silent prayer that someday, Wes would come to love him. And rolling his smiling lover over, he strove to banish Angel’s image from Wesley’s mind…


Angel walked around for several hours, unwilling to go back to the hotel. Unable to face the new wrench that the fates had thrown into his unlife. While there was a part of him that was elated at the prospect of a child, there was an even larger part that wanted to roar in fury at the heavens, and curse the gods themselves for this unnatural piece of work.

He walked with his head down and his hands in his pockets, struggling to resign himself to his new role: Father. Because whatever happened, he wanted to be there for Xander. And mostly try to prevent the pre-wiggins from causing the boy to shake himself to pieces. Angel knew he had the easier path, to merely accept and try to be supportive. Xander had the much more difficult role, that of being the carrier of their child. If the boy had any right to freak out, it would be over this. He had gotten to know a lot about Xander in pas past couple of months.

Despite the semi-confident mien and the jester’s face that he wore, Xander was none of that. The boy all too frequently imagined himself an outsider, alienated from even his friends no matter the love and care that they surrounded him with. He was a starving, big-eyed ragged street urchin staring through the glass at the bakery of Life. And now without Willow, Xander was floundering.

Angel shook his head sadly, remembering the lost young girl. Xander and Willow seemed to fit together like the other halves of each other’s souls. They weren’t soulmates in the original sense, but rather soul-friends. Propping each other up when one slid down, helping, shoving each other along merrily on the path of life. Two lost children in a forest, only their love for each other keeping them from becoming frightened of the eyes that peered hungrily at them from the darkness.

He paused midstep and wondered when he got so sappy and waxed poetic tripe like that? He shook his head disgustedly and resumed walking. Spike’s tendency towards melodrama was rubbing off on him, he decided. Angel cast a cautious eye towards the skyline and discovered to his profound shock that it was almost sunrise. In disbelief he looked at his watch and cursed.

Spinning around, he surprised an enterprising pickpocket. They stared at each other in mutual astonishment.

“Uhm, hi…?” the lanky youth said with a tentative smile.

Angel blinked, then shifted his face and growled at the kid before rushing away. His display had the unexpected result of convincing the runaway boy that maybe living at home with his parents’ outdated rules was better than surviving on the streets.


By the time Angel hit the bottom of the stairs at the hotel, he was aware of the uproar going on somewhere upstai A h A horrible certainty growing in him, he blurred as he ran up the stairs. Coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of a wild-eyed Xander with a knife holding the Warriors at bay. Ethan was standing at a careful distance, watching with a disturbed look in his eyes, a look that turned to quickly hidden relief when he saw Angel appear. Cordy and Fred’s faces were distinctly anxious and they squeaked when a guard ventured too close and was rewarded with a vicious slash from the boy.

Angel took charge at once. “Everyone back off…NOW,” his voice left no room for arguing.

“YOU…” Xander breathed, his head turning to the source of what was wrong with him. He launched himself at Angel with a primitive howl of rage. Tears were pouring unchecked down his face. In his fury, he managed to lodge the knife in Angel’s right arm before the vampire was able to restrain him.

“You fuckin’ bastard! Oh, you bastard! This is all your fault. Your fault…you bastard!” Xander cried, struggling to free himself. He beat Angel wildly around the head; harsh vicious curses, mixed with racking sobs, tore from his lips.

Angel lowered them to the floor, tucking his head down. The fact that Xander’s blows lacked even the most rudimentary strength indicated that the poor boy probably wasn’t even aware of what he was doing. He could smell the fear and terror from Xander and he knew the boy needed an outlet. Angel just held on tight, rocking and crooning to his mate, raising his head to glare savagely at everyone that came too close.

“Fuckin’ bastard…” Xander whispered tiredly, his head dropping to rest on Angel’s shoulder. He was all cried out and felt drained. Right now, he was so exhausted he felt he could sleep for a week. Which would be preferable, maybe he could pretend that this had all been a bad dream, a nightmare. A long one.

“I miss my Wills,” he moaned, rng hng his flushed face into the blessed coolness of Angel’s neck. He was calming under the reassuring croon and the soothing circles rubbed on his back.

“I know, ciallan…” Angel whispered in return, the endearment falling unconsciously from his lips.

“I’m sorry I stuck you with the knife,” Xander mumbled sleepily, settling his weight against Angel. He yawned mightily. “You left me, I got scared that you had run away,” he tiredly explained, his eyes drooping close.

“Never, ciallan…” Angel promised softly, rocking the warm heaviness of the boy in his arms. He didn’t even flinch or hiss when Cordy crouched and carefully removed the knife from his arm. He was too afraid of waking Xander to move. He gave them both women grateful looks when Fred ripped the sleeve of her shirt off, and used it to bandage his arm.

Angel glanced down at his slumbering mate, then carefully rose to his feet. Shooting a sharp look at Cordy and Ethan when they made as if to accompany him. Then turning he made his way upstairs, up to Casiwe. Someplace where Xander would feel more comfortable and secure.

Laying his burden gently in the bed, he climbed in after his mate and pulled Xander in his arms. This time, he would stay until his boy was awake before going downstairs to talk to the others. They needed to know, as this may affect their lives as well.


Several hours later, Xander stirred with a slight sigh.e tee tensed initially at the arm around his waist, but forced himself to relax. He let his breath out in a long shuddery sigh, not a nightmare the
“W
“Wasn’t a dream, huh?” he said quietly, feeling the arm tense then relax.

“No…” Angel said softly, stroking his hand slowly over the tumbled locks. For the first time, marveling over the silky locks. Xander pulled against his hold, and rolled over on his side, facing the bright sunshine. He closed his eyes when a cool body spooned against his back. A familiar feeling these past few months. His hand dropped to his stomach, touching the soft swelling with tentative fingers.

“At the back of my mind, I somehow kept expecting to wake up and find this all been some kinda nightmare. Maybe even a director yelling ‘Cut’ and saying ‘That’s a wrap!’ Everybody cheers, then we go home. But that’s not gonna happen,” Xander said sadly.

“No…”

“What are we going to do?” Xander asked hesitantly, opening his eyes to stare blindly at the billowing curtains.

Behind him Angel tried not to tense. “What do you want to do…?” hplieplied carefully. “Xander this is your body we’re talking about. You’re the one that will have to endure the physical changes that will take place, not me. Whatever decision you make, I’ll support it 100%. We have more than enough time to decide to have a child. Dr. Stevens says that in another 50 years, we’ll both be fertile again.”

The young man closed his eyes, trembling. “But…I saw your face in his office. You want a child, don’t you? This child.”

“In order to have this child, you’ll have to be stronger and tougher than you ever believed you could be. If you are not ready then we can wait until you are ready,” Angel responded without giving a direct answer. But he couldn’t prevent his hand stealing down and gently covering Xander’s belly, tracing the rounded curvature of where their child rested.

Sweet Mother of God, a child!

“You want this child,” Xander replied persistently, twisting to regard the vampire. His voice was gently insistent as he searched the shadowed gaze.

Angel, meeting that direct gaze, couldn’t lie. “Yes…” he breathed, a look of longing on his face.

The young man faced forward, feeling calm and tranquil under Angel’s stroking palm over his burgeoning stomach. He covered the cool hand with his own and closed his eyes.

He was pregnant. He was going have a child, Angel’s baby. His lips quirked up in a brief, unamused smile. Now what was the likelihood of (1) a vampire getting a human pregnant, and (2) that said human was a male? Some people would immediately jump to the patently erroneous conclusion that the answer was the equivalent to a snowball’s chance in hell of happening. What a bunch of idiots!

Xander abruptly pulled away from Angel’s comforting embrace. “Gotta go to the bathroom,” he mumbled over his shoulder as he rolled off the bed and rushed to the toilet, feeling his stomach suddenly protest. Protest what, he didn’t know since he hadn’t eaten breakfast yet.

He slumped weakly to the floor, starting at the feel of a cool cloth cleaning his face. Opening his eyes, he looked into Angel’s patient, concerned gaze and attempted a smile.

“Morning sickness,” he tried to joke. But it fell flat. “Sorry, I know I’m not handling this too well,” he sighed looking away.

Angel smiled slowly. “Xander, trust me, if it was me, I would more than likely be still screaming,” he ruefully admitted. “And it’s not like I’ll need to breathe,” he muttered softly. But Xander heard and let out a weak chuckle. He leaned into the offered embrace.

“Nah, you would probably pull it off with your usual flair. Though I think you’ll have a bit of trouble dramatically whirling around in your bldustduster with your belly sticking out,” he snickered, resting his head on Angel’s chest. “Though I have a feeling your brooding would increase.”

“Hey, I don’t brood,” Angel protested mildly. “I just like having…quiet moments of personal introspection.”

“Also known as brooding,” Xander teased gently. They fell silent before l stl stirred, helping his mate to his feet. “C’mon, back to bed w’you,” he said quietly.

“I wanna lay outside in the sun,” Xander murmured once they exited the bath. Angel raised a brow but didn’t protest, though he did eye the sunny patch with definite misgiving.

The boy gave him a small smile over his shoulder. “Don’t be such a ba…fraidy-cat, you know the sun’s not gonna hurt you,” he walking backwards and pulled Angel along with him.

“I’m not a fraidy-cat,” the older man protested with great dignity. “I would just prefer not to give the sun a chance to fry me to a screaming, burnt crisp.”

Within a few moments, they were settled in a lounger, simply enjoying the comforting waves of the sun. Actually Xander was, Angel was just enduring with stoic determination, tense and worried that his immunity to the sun would abruptly end.

“I never wanted kids, ya know? ‘Cause I was always afraid I’d wind up like my dad,” Xander murmured quietly. “Yelling, screaming and hitting the poor kid.”

Angel stirred behind him. “Xand, I’m not your mother,” he said with quiet deliberation. “So believe me when I say this, there will be no screaming or hitting ANY child of ours just because you’re having a rotten day.”

The young man twisted in his arms to look searchingly at him. “What will you do if I did…?” he asked curiously.

Angel smiled, a cold look settling in his eyes. “I’ll make Angelus look like a pussycat,” he replied softly.

Xander turned back over and a tiny, hidden smile appeared on his lips. “Good, I think this little fellow might need all the help he or she can get. ‘Cause I sure as hell don’t know how to be a parent.”

The arm beneath his head bunched up to iron hardness, then relaxed. “Me neither,” Angel admitted quietly, unable to still the joy in his voice. “But I think between the two of us, we can muddle through parenthood.”

“Two of us?” Xander snorted. “With Cordy around? I so don’t think so! It’ll be more like the three of us!”

His lover chuckled softly in real amusement. “You may have a point there.”

Angel rested in the sun for a little while longer, before stirring. With a promise to bring lunch back up for the boy, he headed out the castle, to handle the task of telling the others the good news. Because one way or another, he and Xander would need their help.


Cordy was pacing at the foot of the stairs; every now and then shooting hostile glares at the top of the stairs. Guards were stationed at the elevator and stairs, preventing her from going to the library and seeing if her boys needed her.

“Cordy, I’m sure they’ll be down any minute,” Fred drawled quietly, shrinking back when the other girl whirled on her, an angry look on her face.

“That’s what you said two hours ago!” she snapped. n vin visibly reining in her temper, Cordy closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Ethan nodded approvingly, though no trace of his feeling sho A At first when Xtchaly brought him here, he was unsure of his welcome. All Angel and the two Sunnydale natives knew of him was his past ‘misdeeds’. But to his surprise, he was welcomed. Not warmly or with a great deal of enthusiasm but still he was welcomed. Upon reflection, he realized that almost each person felt they had something in common: Redemption and a desire to change.

Cordy, it was obvious that she was trying to change her attitude from the sharp-tongued, rich bitch from Sunnydale; Angel was frantically trying to make up for Angelus’ past deeds, though in his opinion he didn’t see why Angel had to pay for the other’s alleged sins. Angelus was a bloody vampire, vampires ate people. ‘Sides, back in those days, blood didn’t come in those conveniently nice packages that Angel received from the butcher’s block.

Casual questioning brought him the information that Gunn was struggling against the weight of his sister’s death. Though a vampire, it was his hand and his stake, that put an end to her unlife. It was a knowledge that haunted the big, street warrior. And Wesley, undoubtedly struggling to overcome the teachings of his father and become his own man. Having the regrettable experience of meeting the pompous windbag, he sincerely hoped the younger man succeeded.

He turned his attention to Fred. Now that child was still a puzzle. Prying answers from her was like pulling teeth from an oyster. And she was the quietest person he had ever seen! One minute there, the next…poof! and she was gone. Though if the tale was true, Miss Fred had spent some time in a demon dimension as a e soe so perhaps her timidity was not so unusual. His eyes softened slightly. The fact that she survived said a lot about her tenacity. Despite her seemingly fragility, he suspected the child was like an iceberg. Only a few harmless feet showed on the surface. The rest was thousands of feet long below the surface.

Cordy broke off her conversation with Fred suddenly aware that Angel was at the bottom of the stairs.

“Are you okay? Why did he attack you? What did you do to him? Is he okay? For God’s sakes! Will you answer me?!” Cordy finally shouted, her face flushed with incipient fury. She looked like she wanted to give him a good shaking.

Fred hopped off the couch as well, wringing her hands in distress. Her questions tumbling and crossing with Cordy. Neither were bothering to listen to each other. “I’m sorry you got stabbed…but is Xander okay? Why was he crying? Can I see him? Oh, why won’t you answer me?!”

“Ladies, perhaps if you gave him a chance, he would,” Ethan caustically said. Nodding slightly at the grateful look the vampire shot him.

“My office, I think this is gonna take a while,” Angel said quietly, already heading in that direction.

“Fred, Ethan,” Cordy commanded without looking at the other two.

Ethan looked surprised to be included, but shrugged and followed. He was curious as well over what set off the boy.

Angel grabbed a pack of blood from the mini-fridge in his office. Ripping it open with his teeth, he drank, stalling for time.

“Angel,” Cordy said pleasantly from her seat when Angel looked like he was going to open up a third pack. “If you drink that, I swear I will spike several of your packs with holy water. You won’t know which one it is, until it’s sliding down your throat.”

Ethan looked at the girl in hidden amazement. He had to hide a smile when Angel hesitated, then carefully replaced the pack in the fridge.

Angel sat behind his desk and studied the interesting patterns of the woodgrain for a few seconds then looked up in relief when the door opened.

“I couldn’t let you do this along.” Xander smiled briefly and ventured into the room. He shook his head when Angel shot out of his seat and gestured him to the chair. “Will you stop that?” he said in exasperation when his mate kept urging him to the chair. “I’m pregnant not sick!”

At the gasps from behind him, he grimaced looking miserably at Angel. “I could have done that a little more tactfully, right?”

“Just a wee bit,” Angel replied with a half-smile.

“Pregnant?! Pregnant as in YOU’RE gonna have a baby and not by a surrogate pregnant?” Cordy screeched, her eyes large in surprise. She didn’t notice Angel’s eyes shifting to gold.

“Oh, my goodness,” Fred whispered staring at Xander.

“Fred, omigawd Fred! You know what this means? We’re gonna be aunts!” Cordy yelled. Screaming, she and Fred hugged each other hopping up and down in excitement. Babbling about all the things they were going to do with a baby. Then she ran and hugged the startled Xander. “Sit down. I said SIT!” she barked when he didn’t want to take a seat.

Xander sat immediately. “Uhm, you’re not upset…?” he asked hesitantly, though a tiny smile was forming on his lips.

Fred had run out the door and quickly came back with a tray loaded with food. She thumped it down in front of him, a stern look in her eyes. “EAT…” she said pointing at the tray. She turned to Cordy, discussing what they needed to buy for their ‘baby’.

“Hell, no,” Cordy looked at him in surprise. “Do you know how absolutely adorable baby clothes are? Besides, it’s shopping! You and the guys can handle the crib and other stuff, me and Fredl tal take care of the clothes.”

Both she and Fred looked ready to dash out the h and and splurge. Cordy held out her hand demandingly. Ethan looked on in amusement as Angel sighed and handed over his credit cards. The two women drifted towards the door, talking excitedly.

Xander looked like he wanted to argue, but Angel gripped his shoulder and shook his head warningly.

Then Cordy stopped and turned around, her face becoming haunted. “Wes…?”

Angel’s face swiftly became blank. “He knows,” he replied shortly. “So does Gunn,” and his eyes dared her to say another word.

She thought for a few minutes, her eyes becoming startled, then without a word she hastened away.

Ethan eyed the mutinous face on the boy and smiled sympathetically. “Sometimes, it’s better to accept the love someone has, than to rail and fight against it,” he murmured in gentle reproof. Xander flushed and shot him a guilty look.

“Your Cordy cares…” Ethan began carefully.

“She’s not MY Cordy, she’s just Cordy,” Xander immediately decried. Ethan’s eyested ted up to Angel, and the vampire shook his head, his eyes darkening.

“Ah…yes. Cordy, she cares very abo about you. Had it not been for the fact that there were too many guards, I believe she would have rushed to make sure you were okay. Had there been one or two, I’m quite sure she would have been successful tormtorming the castle,” Ethan murmured with a wry smile.

“Yeah, that’s Cordy alright,” Xander smiled. “She’ll take on the devil himself to protect her…” and he faltered, looking down.

“…her friends,” Angel finished deliberately. “Ethan’s right, she does care. And I’m sure that once Buffy, Giles and Dawn get over their hurt and anger, they’ll come around.”

The young boy looked up, with hope in his eyes. “Ya think so?” It hurt Angel to see that look of desperation in his mate’s eyes.

“I wager that Giles will come around first. After all, you are the son he never had.” Ethan interjected bracingly.

Xander gave him a small smile, then rose. Taking the tray with him, he headed back to the Castle. It wasn’t much, the hope that he had in his heart, but it was enough for him to get through this whole…baby mess.

Angel and Ethan watched the young man walk away.

“So,” Ethan said without looking away from Xander’s disappearing figure. “Why don’t you tell me what else is going on that you and your mate chose not to share with the girls?” He turned and gave Angel a cool, level look.

The other man flicked a glance downwards to the mage, then looking away he began to speak…

And all Ethan could do was listen in deepening horror.


Two days later Gunn and Wes strolled back to the Hyperion. The English man had a look of cool composure, while his young companion bore a quiet, noncommittal look on his face. Both looks vanished at the whirlwind of activity they encountered once they steppeto tto the lobby.

There were bags galore scattered around the room. Angel looked cornered, and had a shell-shocked look on his face, and Ethan was casually sitting on the counter, a look of vast amusement on his face as he watched the spectacle. Cordy and Fred were dancing around, squealing over the items they pulled from the various bags scattered around the couch. Briefly asking Ans ops opinion, then rushing away before he opened his mouth.

Of Xander there was no sign, for which Gunn wasn’t sure he was grateful or pissed. But he felt he owed the kid something. If he hadn’t come and screwed Angel, then him and Wes wouldna got together. He glanced at his lover. Or started laying the groundwork of getting together, he amended his thought, feeling a flare of frustration surge through him. For every step forward he thought they were taking, his boy was taking two steps back.

Angel looked up in pathetic relief to see the two men. Hoping that maybe Cordy and Fred would quickly notice the fresh meat and be distracted long enough for him to make his escape. He sent an evil, murderous glare at Ethan. Bastard! He thought sourly. Just because he had magic to create a shield between him and the girls! Why the hell couldn’t he share, dammit?!

He watched the girls craftily, and as soon as they turned towards the two arrivals he was off the couch in a flash. Angel snickered at the flummoxed look on Gunn and Wesley’s faces. Serves them right, he thought virtuously, for staying away for two days instead of one day.

With a bounce in his step and whistling, he headed to the castle and to Xander.


“Xander…” he called cheerfully, growing more anxious when Casiwe contracted andfounfound himself at the bathroom door. Hearing a faint moan, he rushed inside, almost stepping on the boy that was laying flat on his back, tears of pain running down his face.

“Xander…!” Angel shouted, his hands hovering over the boy like startlerds.rds. Forcefully he calmed himself before carefully picking Xander up. Carrying the gasping boy rapidly to the bed, he laid Xander gently down. Rushing back to the bathroom, he wet a cloth and came back, dabbing at the bloody spots on the boy’s hips where bones had broken through the skin.

“That’s it,” he growled ominously, his eyes glinting with temper. “This stops right now. You WILL give me your pain! This isn’t a contest to see who can tolerate the most pain!”

Xander rode the fresh wave of pain, gasping and clenching his fists in the covers. “Well, it’s a two way street, buster! You give me yours and I’ll give you mine,” the boy snapped breathlessly, he was just as angry with his mate. Either they shared or…he grunted, his eyes wild with pain as his bones shifted again.

This was what Dr. Stern had warned them about, that Angel had sworn Ethan to secrecy. In order for Xander to actually GIVE birth, his body had to make some serious skeletal, and physiological changes to his body. Females were usually broader at the hips than men and with a pelvic expressively designed for birthing. Women’s center of gravity was also very different from men, anst ist importantly, women also had a vagina. Something, of which Xander was sadly lacking. Therefore, his body was trying to restructure his body, especially his lower region, into something that would allow the birth of a child. His hips were shifting, widening in preparation as his center of gravity shifted.

Unfortunately, Xander’s mind was strongly resistant to the idea, so it fought, struggling to force the body to reshape itself back into the blueprint of a male body. His mind and body were in a constant war of change. Which naturally was causing the boy extreme pain. While this would perhaps be fascinating to, say, a mad scientist, for Angel it was horrifying. He could practically see the bones widening, shifting just under Xander’s skin.

The only way for Xander to avoid the painful process was by ‘giving’ the pain to his Defender. That was why they were constantly arguing, because the boy refused to allow Angel to share in his pain unless the vampire ‘gave’ him his emotions. Something Angel was loath to do. Neither was backing down from their stance.

This matter was causing the other Guardians and Defenders great concern. Each pair had tried to talk sense into the stubborn men to no avail. Xander wasn’t budging nor was Angel.

It was a simple process during the growth of the child. For two males, the human gifted the demon with his pain, because the demon had a higher threshold for pain. And humans didn’t. At least not as high as a demon.

But in return, the demon would swiftly become dangerously unstable with that amount of continuous pain coursing through his bodies. Rapidly reaching a point where he became a hazard to those around him. So, the human became a sort of ‘dumping ground’ for the riotous emotions running through the demon. There was some quirk in the Guardian’s n man makeup that made this possible. Almost akin to having multiple personalities, but without the added personality to contend with. Just emotions that a human could filter, sooth and return to their counterpart.

Angel eyed the stubborn expression on Xander’s face, not bothering to hide his frustrated annoyance. He was going to give in, he just knew it! Damn the boy!

“Alright…” he snapped angrily. “We’ll share, just hurry,” he pleaded, hardly able to stand watching Xander in agony.

And to his credit, Xander didn’t crow over his victory. Probably because he was so relieved and in so much pain, he was a half-second away from giving in to Angel.

“Thank you…” he managed to get out before another wave of pain hit him. Breathless minutes passed while he writhed silently in torment. “So…how we gonna do this?” he gasped out, his face pale and strained.

His Defender looked at him with raiseows.ows. “Excuse me? I thought you knew,” Angel replied carefully, hiding his smirk at the boy’s horrified look. But unable to bear the sight of his Guardian hurting, he relented. “I was just kidding,” he said hastily when it looked as if Xander was going to cry.

He carefully balanced himself on his knees across the boy’s lap. “Okay, just stay very still,” he said quietly, framing Xander’s face in his hands. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against his mate. Closing his eyes, he mentally REACHED towards his Guardian, smiling at the astonishment that vibrated through the way way link.

Catching on swiftly, Xander REACHED towards him, feeling his way delicately along the tenuous link to his Defender, careful not to intrude too much within the darkness of Angel’s mind. He focused on a red area that was pulsating faintly, certainty in him that was where he needed to be. Besides, he wasn’t overly sure of his welcome. But to his surprise, a shimmering wave of light illuminated the area he was in, briefly revealing then dark came again, hiding everything from view. Again and again came the light, each time lasting longer and longer until it was a steady oscillating illumination.

He sent back a wordless thanks along the link and felt a sad feeling echo back to him. But his attention was caught by frozen moments in time, still tableau of mute horror on a variety of people faces. What made it even more horrifying was when his attention focused on them, they came alive. Anguished screams and, he shuddered, Angelus’ merry laughter echoed.

Xander stiffened, feeling a dark presence next to him. Shaking, terrified out of his mind, he looked to his right. Swallowing hard when he met Angelus’ mocking gaze.

“So, you’re the whelp Soulboy’s took up with,” the demon remarked softly, his golden eyes reflecting all the cruelty inherent in his nature.

He blocked Angel’s determined rush back to protect his downy chick. He circled around the quivering boy, his eyes narrowed and thoughtful at what he saw. “Passable ass; long, clean limbs; hmmm, and the face ain’t half bad. But the mind…” he added, then sadly shook his head. A cruel smirk twisting his lips, but his eyes were deadly serious.

“Hey…!” Xander exclaimed, his fear gone in the wake of his vanity. He stumbled, as the ground roiled underfoot. He fell against Angelus, who caught him easily and restored him to his feet. “My ass is more than passable, buddy! And what the hell’s wrong with my mind?!” The young man asked uncertainly.

“You don’t think…” Angelus responded succinctly, his smirk fading.

Xander’s eyes fell, and he fiddled with a thread on his shirt. “Y…you’re talking about Willow aren’t you?”

“Fuck Willow! I’m talking about you, Spike and Wonderboy! You’re so busy mooning over that overbleached grandchilde of mine that you’re missing the fact that my Soulbearing, bastardized self is struggling to make a home for you both. He’s become even wimpier and whinier than ever because of you,” Angelus retorted angrily.

He shook his head regretfully when dark eyes shot towards him incredulously. “You don’t get it do you? You need to learn how to think like a demon. If we can’t have the one we want, we love the one we’re with! That blonde, good-for-nothing knucklehead loved you, no mistake. But you can’t be together! Not for another 50 years and if younk Snk Spike will be inclined to wait for you, think again! Oh, he may say or think he will, but the fact is, vampires are not bred like that. Angel is the only fool that is capable of pulling off the tragic, lovelorn swain successfully. Spike is not,” Angelus stated emphatically.

“You don’t know that!” Xander shot back.

The vampire looked at the boy and raised a brow. “Hell, boy, Drucilla Turned him, but I fuckin’ shaped him into the vampire he is. You think I don’t know him? With a few differences, I am him!” Angelus snarled back.

He paced angrily back and forth. “You think Spike is the only one capable of loving, of being loved? But I learned…I learned not to hold on, not to love just in case either Darla or the Master became too jealous of others calling for my attention,” he said quietly. His lips kicked up in a bitter, unamused smile at the wide-eyed look on the boy’s. “Did you think I was always like this?” he snorted.

“No, in the beginning I was like young Spike, able to love and accept it in return. But after a couple of torturous sessions between my Sire and the Master, I realized that love hurts like a bitch!” Angelus said calmly.

“Uhm…what…what did they do to you?” Xander whispered, feeling sick at the amount of pain reflected in the demon’s golden gaze.

Angelus studied the boy quietly, then shook his head. “You really don’t want to know,” he softly assured the lad. “The point is, Angel is here, Spike is not.”

Xander blinked. “Waitaminute! Angel and you, you…you…don’t exist anymore!”

The demon smiled coldly. “As long as Angel exists, I’ll always be here,” he said quietly. “Everyone, humans and demons alike, have their dark side. Just look on me as Angel’s.” Angelus stepped back, then hesitated. “For what it’s worth, boy, Angel cares about you. He doesn’t love you, at least not yet, but you do figure highly in his affections and not simply because of the forced bond between the two of you. He respects you. He always has because you never forgot what he was. A demon.”

“Why are you helping him?” Xander asked suspiciously when Angelus looked like he was going to fade away.

“Because I want to remember what it felt like when someone truly cared,” came a fading whisper and Angelus was gone.

Xander looked around with unseeing eyes, and sighed. Then he strode to the pulsating node, that seemed to be pulsating even more frantically.

Angel arrived in a desperate rush, glaring about with hot eyes. “Where is he? Where is he? What did he say to you?”

“Calm down, big guy,” Xander said calmly. Kneeling, he rested a hand on the node, stroking it gently. “Just…chill,” he whispered, his eyes fixed on the angry red glow. It gradually faded, the redness dying down and slowly changing to a soft blue.

Angel took a deep breath, feeling some of his raging emotions easing. They weren’t gone, just…more manageable. He didn’t feel like killing everything in sight.

“Hot damn…!” he whispered. Xander twisted and gave him a delighted smile.

“Cool, huh?”

The vampire eyed the human youth, a smile growing in his eyes. “Yeah, cool is right…thank you,” he said quietly, helping Xander up.

Their smile slowly faded, and Xander looked down, fidgeting nervously. “Angel…have I said thank you for everything you’ve done for me?” he asked in a soft rush. “Because I am, thankful that is. You’ve done more, and been more than I ever expected or felt I deserved. So if I ever forget…” his rambling words were halted at the finger Angel pressed against his lips.

“You’re my Guardian…words of thanks shouldn’t exist between us,” the other say softly.

“How about words of thanks between friends?” he asked deliberately, raising his eyes to meet Angel’s. “Cause, I would like to think we’re getting to that point. Considering that we’re about to have a baby and all,” he said wryly, feeling an odd twist at the thought of being pregnant. Resolutely he turned his mind and thoughts away from the…child. Besides, Angel promised to raise and look after…it. All he had to do was pop it out, and he was done. No more being more of a freak than he had to be, he thought morbidly.

Angel smiled, stepping forward and hugging the lithe young man to him. “We’re getting there…” he promised.

“Good,” came Xander’s muffled voice. “A guy can never have enough friends, ya know.”

* * *

Yet while Angel took the bulk of the agony, Xander couldn’t escape the full effect of the changes that was warping his body. His mind and body still continued the war.

Ethan was in on the secret. Sometimes when the pain became so bad Xander rallrally couldn’t sit down, the mage used his magic to levitate the young man in an effort to avoid putting pressure on Xander’s tender bones.


It took the group about six weeks to figure out what was going on. They all visited Xander daily upstairs, remarking that it was strange that he was always in bed, but shrugged it off, figuring Xander was tired. Or sleepy. Or something.

However, it was Gunn that put things together first.


For once Xander was having a good day. He was downstairs, all by himself with a baby Jadarian and her father for company. He practically had the whole hotel to himself. Angel was gone on business, Cordy was hitting the beach via the castle, Fred and Wes were at a symposium discussing how big their brains were, and Ethan was upstairs, Xander had a lewd smile on his face, getting busy with Xtchaly.

The young man smirked and Gunn was out somewhere intimating tourists, he thought with malicious glee. Then immediately felt ashamed of himself. Gunn couldn’t help the fact that he was large and in charge, he thought grudgingly. Ignoring the brief stab of envy in his soul at the other young man’s commanding presence.

Dressed in his loosest clothes, he was busy in the kitchen eyeing the towering sandwich he made with gloating eyes. He had already set two bowls of ice cream on the floor for Sola and her father, Nozla. Making a mental note to tell Angel to stock up, he strolled out the kitchen and stopped dead at the sight of an Asian dude in the lobby.

“Errrr, excuse me, can I help you?” he inquired uneasily, throwing a mental call to Nozla that he might need assistance.

Gavin eyed the large young man with a barely hidden smirk. Angel must be really scraping the bottom of the barrel if he’s hiring fat kids. He snorted, not bothering to acknowledge the young man, busy making mental notes on the condition of the hotel.

“I don’t think so,” he replied with look of polite dismissal for the flunky. Gavin turned as if to go, then paused as if he was forgetting something. “By the way, tell your boss that he needs to start looking for a new place to stay. He’s behind $128,000 on the back taxes on this dump. Bank’s can’t wait forever for their money, you know.” He looked around the hotel one last time. “Tell Angel that Gavin Parks, of Wolfram and Hart, is seriously thinking about making an offer. You don’t have termites do you?” He gave the stricken young man a questioning look, then left.

Lindsey and that Ice Bitch allowed Angel to make asses of them, he thought with malicious glee, but there was more than one way to peel the skin off a vampire. The bastard operated in the real world. As such, had to abide by the rules that governed L.A. And the rule was, you didn’t exist in America without that all-important Social Security number. His smile widened as he sauntered out the hotel. He was going to ‘bury’ Angel in so much red tape, the vampire wouldn’t be able to claw his way out until sunrise.

Xander gaped after the man in shock, his eyes rounding in distress at the news. However his distress was eclipse by the blinding pain that sent him crashing to the floor in agony.


Gunn gave a puzzled look at the man exiting the hotel. Putting his hand on the door, he watched the stranger get into his car and leave. Opening the door and pausing in the threshold, he still stared in the direction the car drove off. Feeling a distinct uneasy feeling riding his nerves. “Yo, who the hell was that?” he called without looking away.

But at a ragged moan, he jerked his head around. Cursing when he espied Xander on the floor. Hissing, the large young man raced across the floor, sliding on his knees the last few feet. Growling in anger at the sight of wet dark patches on Xander’s shirt.

“Damn! I knew I shoulda popped his ass,” he muttered to himself. He hovered over the other boy, shouting loudly for help.

Then gritting his teeth, he carefully slid his arms under Xander and even more carefully got to his feet. “What the man do to you?!” he asked the boy when Xander’s eyes fluttered open.

“Nothing,” Xander gasped out, gritting his teeth to stop from screaming.

“Whaddaya mean nothing?! You’re on the floor, bleeding and in pain; and somebody’s leaving the hotel. That spells attack,” Gunn growled angrily as he maneuvered them up the stairs. However, inside, he was shaken by how light Xander was. For somebody that was supposed to be all pregnant, he wasn’t heavy. But he was heavy enough, Gunn amended his thought, feeling the strain of carrying the otjo{.boy.

Nozla and his daughter raced up the stairs to summon help.

“Casiwe, SHIFT!” Xander shouted, then hissed as agony rode him like bronco riding an ill-tempered bull.

The castle, hearing the distress in her master’s voice, as well as the alarm rumbling through the library, SHIFTED.

Between one step and the next, Gunn found himself in the castle. He stumbled in his surprise, almost dropping Xander.

Warriors and scholars alike converged on him, all with anxious expressions. All fighting to take Xander from him. And he almost willingly surrendered the boy. But there was something almost secretive about the looks in their eyes when they looked between him and Xander.

So curiosity being his greatest sin, Gunn clutched Xander closer to his chest. A mulish expression on his face, firmly shaking his head in negation when they tried to take Xander.

“Nah, dawg, I got ‘im,” he said easily, striding confidently between them. “Just tell me where to lay ‘im down.”

He came to an abrupt halt at the wall of warriors and scholars.

“Give him to me,” Jahna said grimly, stretching out her arms. “We will take care of OUR Defender’s mate.”

“You only delaying him getting help,” Gunn pointed out calmly.

It was a standoff. He wasn’t releasing Xander, and they weren’t moving.

He silently rejoiced when Xander spoke. “I. Want. To. Lay. Down,” the pain ridden young man grated out. His teeth bared in a rictus of torment.

Reluctantly the demons parted, glaring angrily at Gunn, who was ashamed of trying to play one-upmanship instead of trying to help Xander.

“Sorry dude,” he whispered in apology striding hastily into the bedroom. With utmost care, he lowered Xander to the bed. Wincing at the low hiss that escaped the other. He stood back swiftly, silently effacing himself against the wall when Ethan charged into the room. The mage was snapping orders right and left. And Gunn was bemused to see demons jumping quickly to obey.

Ethan shot the black youth a narrowed-eyed glance, dec decided to ignore the child. So thoroughly did he put the boy out of his mind, that he forgot Gunn was still in the room.

“Xander, you know the routine,” he instructed the panting young boy calmly as he set out his supplies. Briefly thanking then shooing the worried demons out of the room. Talking soothingly, he hurriedly mixed the ointment that would help dull the agony in Xander’s hips. Unfortunately, it had the unwelcome effect of intensifying the pain before numbing the area.

“Where is Angel?” he asked quietly. “I would have thought he would be here by now.”

Xander concentrated for a few seconds, then grinned tiredly. “Yeah, he’s on his way. He should be here in about 10 minutes or so.” His amusement faded as he sighed. “He’s gonna be mad at me,” he pouted.

Then he gasped, his face twisting at a particularly virulent stab of pain. He felt a hand touch his, and he snapped at the limb with desperation as he rode out the torturous wave of agony.

Ethan started, blinking at the large black youth holding Xander’s hand. He smirked at the thin, bloodless line that Gunn’s lips suddenly became. “Didn’t think he was that strong, did you?” he murmured, as he eased Xander’s pants down off the boy’s hips.

At Gunn’s gasp when he raised Xander’s shirt, he flashed the young man a cold look of warning. Silently admonishing Gunn not to reveal any negative emotion that would communicate itself to Xande
Sc
Scooping out a glob of the mixture, Ethan carefully applied it to the first ragged open wound, then the other. His heart twisting in sympathy at the muffled whimper coming from Xander.

The young man breathed through the sickening wave of agony at the initial contact of the numbing agent Ethan smoothed on him. He breathed rapidly, panting as he struggled to ride out the pain. And slowly…slowly he relaxed, feeling the agony lessen. He breathed out carefully, his bunched and tensed muscles uncoiling, granting him some measure of relief. His breathing became easier, smoother as pain dulled, then faded.

Blinking eye eyed the hand he was crushing with dismay. “Oh, sorry,” he whispered releasing the death grip he had on Gunn’s hand.

Carefully the bald youth shook his hand, trying to restore feeling. “Ah, nah dawg, iffen you had killed my GOOD hand, now then I woulda been mad,” he drawled threatening with a half-smile.

Pleased to see the other give him a weak smile in return. Their attention abruptly turned to the door when a demonfaced Angel appeared in the doorway. Half a dozen warriors and scholars were looking over his shoulders before he shut the door in their faces.

Sparring a brief glance at the two humans, Angel’s only thought was for his Guardian. “Xander, I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed, rushing to the bed and climbing carefully to Xander’s side. “I got attacked in the sewers, and had to fight my way out of there. Are you okay?” he asked shakily, touching his mate’s face with gentle hands.

“Yeah, I’m cool,” Xander replied with a weary smile. His look becoming ironically amused when Angel pushed his shirt up higher, and laid his head against the mound of belly. “And junior’s okay too,” he added with barely a grimace of distaste as he stroked Angel’s head comfortingly. Ethan, putting his herbs away, didn’t notice.

But Gunn did. And his eyes narrowed in thought. From the way Angel had been acting, Xander having a child was the most wonderfuliest event since the birth of baby Jesus, he thought sardonically. But Xander didn’t seem too thrilled at the thought of becoming a father.

Gunn paused, reflecting on the unusual circumstances. Hell, if he was in Xan’s shoes, he would be trying to cut the damn thing out!

Call him chauvinistic and shit, but men just weren’t supposed to be having no babies! And it looked like the only one happy about the blessed event was Fred, Cordy and Angel.

In quiet amazement he watched as Angel’s expression smoothed out under Xander’s soothing ministrations. Something fishy was going on around up here that had his suspicious nature aroused.

“What happened…Gunn?” Angel said, lifting his head and directed all his formidable attention on the black young man. Despite Xander’s best efforts, his eyes were still gold.

Gunn shrugged. “Don’t know,” he answered calmly, his eyes steady and direct. “Some Chinese dude was leaving the hotel when I showed up. I walked in and Xan-man was on the floor, bleeding and shit.”

“Gunn didn’t do anything,” Xander hastened to say when he felt Angel tense against him, turning a hard glare on him. He sighed, his eyes lowered. “Nobody did anything. I just wanted to go downstairs,” he said softly, peeking up at Angel.

But his mate’s expression didn’t relent. “Xander, you know this is the safest place for you to be,” Angel said quietly. “If anything happens to you up here, Casiwe can more easily shift herself around you and summon help.”

“Well, she was no slouch downstairs,” Xander muttered. But he knew it was a losing argument. Angel wasn’t letting him l the the bedroom anytime soon. At least not until I give birth, Xander grumbled.

Angel’s face softened. “Hey, I know you’re bored,” he began. “So, I went out and brought you something that will please you. I was saving it for just the right moment.”

Xander immediately brightened, a smile on his face.

Chuckling, Angel climbed off the bed, and went to the closet. Opening the door, he disappeared from view, and when he rnedrned, it was…with a wheelchair!

Xander blinked, then blinked again looking at the gleaming metal with disbelieving eyes. He looked at Angel’s happy face and didn’t know whether to cry or throw something at his mate.

A fuckin’ wheelchair…Gunn looked at it in dumb astonishment. He snatched a quick look at Xander and shook his head.

Damn, Angel was a dumb muthafucker!

Angel proudly showed off the clever gadgets on the chair. “See, it even has a remote control built right in,” he said eagerly. “And look at this!” he exclaimed, pointing at a button. “All you have to do is press this little baby and I can hear you even in the lobby!”

“Ahhhh, thank you,” Xander said faintly. “But…uhm…Angel, I know that I’m having trouble walking right now, but I won’t be pregnant forever, ya know.”

His mate looked at the wheelchair then back at Xander. “I know, but I also know you like to feel independent and you don’t like for me to carry you around all the time. So, I thought, hey let’s make him mobile,” he said brightly. Then coming to realize something was wrong, his face fell. “You don’t like it?” he asked, stroking a finger over a padded armrest.

Xander’s face immediately assumed a lof jof joy. “Like it?! Angel, that is one of the most thoughtfulest gifts anybody ever gave to me,” he said emotionally. Looking at the chair like he wanted to cry for joy. And he did. He thought Angel had gotten him a Playstation 2 and the games to go with it.

Angel smiled.

Gunn shivered, realizing that they had been seeing a look of those mellow smiles on Angel lately. It was downright freaky, was what Cordy was claiming, adding that she should knsincsince her and Angel go back for years.

He glanced down, his eyes widening when a bone suddenly poked from Xander’s hip. But the boy didn’t even flinch, and Gunn’s eyes darted to Angel who had a sl fro frown on his face and was rubbing his hip.

“Look, y’all I gotta bounce,” he said abruptly, already striding for the door and making plans. “Yo Xan, I’ll holla atcha later,” he jerked his head at the boy, then departed from the room.

Angel looked narrowly after the disappearing young man. “Xander, by the way who was it that Gunn said came here?” he asked curiously.

Ethan made his excuses as well, exiting the room. Allowing a couple of warriors and scholars to enter.

The young man looked stricken. “Oh! He said his name was Gavin Parks and he works at Wolfram and Hart. He said you owed money in back taxes on the hotel. We’re not gonna lose it are we?!” he asked anxiously.

“Damn!” Angel muttered, thinking furiously. “I’ll just have to sell a couple of antiques, is all,” he assured his mate quickly. Hoping that it would be enough. Every time he turned around, those damn lawyers were sticking their noses in his business.

“You have $128,000 worth of antiques?” Xander asked doubtfully.

“Yes…”

Arun tried to remain unobtrusive as he neatened the room. His sense of order slightly outraged at the books lying all over the place.

“My Lords, if it’s money you need, why haven’t you tapped into the Household account?” he hesitantly asked, unsure how touchy these new Masters were.

Angel exchanged a puzzled look with Xander. “Excuse me,der der has a Household account?”

Arun shook his head. “No, YOU have a Household account that is to be used strictly at your discretion.” He bowed to Angel. “Master Xander as Guardian of the West has other accounts that he may use, but for the most part, the previous Masters lived using the Household account.”

Angel looked interested. “How much is it?” he wanted to know.

But Arun shrugged. “For that you will need to contact Norwest & Eastsou. They are the law decipherers for the outside world.”

The vampire groaned. “More lawyers,” he muttered.

“Nay, my Lord,” Arun demurred to his Guardian and Defender. “They are a cross-bred of mating that usually happen between Warriors and Scholars. They voluntarily chose this path of law, knowing that there would need to be ones that interpret human and demon law. They are like a third race that serves the Guardians and Defenders. Demons made human fleshed.”

Now both Angel and Xander looked astonished. “What?!”

The scholar looked between the two. “I thought you…” his voice trailed off at the guilty looks on both their faces. He sighed. “My lords, how about I do this: I will compile a list of EVERYTHING I believe you should know and everything that may be of relevance to you.” He left the room, his back ramrod straight But Angel heard him mutter about insane Guardians and Defenders.

The vampire drifted over to his mate and crawled into bed. “I think we are seriously disappointing Arun,” Angel remarked wryly as he pulled Xander closer into his body.

“Think so…I KNOW so,” the boy snorted as he rested his head on Angel’s shoulder, feeling a sudden weariness sweeping over him. He yawned mightily, blinking sleepy eyes at Angel’s quiet chuckle.

“Go to sleep, baby…” Angel whispered to the drowsy boy. He smiled fondly down into the heavy-lidded face, his smile gentle at the sleeply resistance on Xander’s face.

“Not a baby…” came the soft mutter from the boy.

“I know, ciallan, I know…shhh, sleep…”