Brave New World

Chapter 8

Buffy was squirming under Spike's uncompromisingly steady gaze. His icy blue eyes had seemed to be relentlessly penetrating through all of the inner walls and defenses, which her mind had so painstakingly constructed to protect the secret of the existence of her soul. Almost five minutes had passed since he had told her that he knew she was faking her insanity, though to Buffy it had felt like an eternity. She had been desperately casting about in her mind to figure a way out of this mess, but those damn eyes had kept on staring at her and she could not come up with a plausible lie to tell him that did not sound bogus to her. 'Mary' had fallen to the floor, and she had wrapped her arms about her chest, attempting to make herself as small as possible. At first, as she realized that she was trapped in a corner, her questions and thoughts, had zipped through her mind at such a frantic pace that she could barely keep from panicking. **Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! He knows! He Knows! Oh Shit. What am I gonna do? What is he gonna do? I need to get the fuck outta here. Shit! How the hell am I gonna get away? I could try and kill him. Idiot! You couldn't fight your way out of a paper bag in the shape your in! They've kept you weak for so goddamn long. Oh God. Oh Fuck! Maybe I could make a break and escape. Yeah, sure, and get fried by the fuckin' sun! Why is he just sitting there? He should be trying to kill me. Why is he just looking at me? Maybe he just likes fuckin' with my mind. What's he thinking? Hold on. Slow down. Why did he do that thing to seal the room? If he's gonna give me up, he could have already done that. What is he waiting for? Why was he being 'nice' to me? Was he being nice to me? Or, was he just trying to trick me? Well it was 'nicer' than I've ever been treated by a fuckin' demon before. Whats hes he want?...** Slowly, as she calmed down, her thoughts separated until it seemed as if her different secret persona's were having an argument over what to do.

**Maybe he wants to see how good I can perform under pressure,** that was 'Slut-Vamp'.

**Maybe this his way of torturing me,** said 'Victim'. **If I try to run or fight, he'll start breaking bones.**

**Maybe he wants to see what I'll try to offer him,** Secret Agent suggested. **I told him I knew secrets.**

**Maybe he wants a friend,** whispered 'Little Lunatic'.

The suggestion of that possibility was bizarre enough to give her pause. How would she even know if he were a friend. It had been years since she had had a friend even as a human. Slayers weren't supposed to have friends. They were potential weaknesses that the forces of darkness could exploit.
**Shit Girl, he's a fuckin' vampire.** that was Slut-Vamp again. **Hell, he's a master vampire, who has just kicked a shit-load of butt in LA for the 'Master'. Why the hell would he need us as a friend? You saw them tonight. Climbing all over themselves to beg for his favor. That 'I wanna be your friend' BS was never true when you were a human, and it sure as hell ain't gonna be true with a vamp. If he says anything otherwise, it's only so we'll be all grateful and climb into his pants. Put on a good show in bed, try to convince him not to tell anyone.** **His girlfriend is gone. He just wants ad had hard fuck to forget her,** 'Victim' chimed in. **Remember how broke up 'Queen Bitch' was over her old 'boy-toy's' dusting. The one you killed when you were a 'Slayer' and that she then used as an excuse to whip us for two weeks. Hell, she was snuggling up to the Master that night. This guy just wants a slut for the day, and he'll be beating us this evening. Or worse.** **He could have gotten fucked without saying anything,** observed 'Secret Agent'. **He was with Drusilla for over a hundred years. Devoted to an insane vampire. Maybe he is different. Fact is, we don't have shit for options. The only way we're gonna find out, is if we place our trust in him and tell the truth.**

She looked once more at those eyes and took an deep breath to steel herself for what she was about to do **Oh God, please let me be doing the right thing,** she added in a silent prayer.

"W-when you first became a vampire... d-do you remember how you felt when you died, and then later, h-how you first felt about your Sire?"

Spike arched an eyebrow at her question, "When I died...let's see...um...I remember feeling terror and then everything faded away. When I woke up, I was hungry and confused but I knew my Sire would help me. I was afraid of him but also I worshipped him. Took me a hell of a long time to break that I can tell you. But why, luv? What does it matter what I felt?"

"Because you see, I didn't feel different," Buffy said hesitantly. " I felt the same way about the Master after I woke up, as I had before he killed me. In fact, I felt the same way about Vampires in general afterwards, as I did before he killed me. I never lost my soul. I thought that if I played the fool, acted insane and all, he would lose interest in me. Toss me out, and then I could get away, heal up and get strong. But it didn't happen. And I couldn't just stop or they'd know something was going on. And then..." she gave a little, ironic laugh, "Oh then...I mean if they knew...oh Christ...the torture he's let Willow put me through now... just because I'm supposed to be insane..." she trailed off, uncertain of where to go. How to say 'It'.

Then Spike said it for her.

"You've still got your soul." It was a statement. She thought he sounded amazed.

Buffy nodded and stared at the ground. For a second, she felt as if she was going to start begging him not to tell the Master, that she would do anything for him. But then a sensation passed through her, like a wave. And suddenly she was feeling better than she had in months. Her mind was clear.

She would not beg. She would not plead. If Spike was going to hurt her, beat her, kill her so be it. She was sick of the hiding and cowering and degradation. Sick of being the weak victim alayilaying the whore to make her miserable existence a teeny-tiny fraction-of-a-bit better. She may not have a chance in hell of beating him in a fight but she was going to do her damn best. Her sudden resolve seemed to energize hera waa way she hadn't felt since she had been turned. She had been a Slayer once for crying out loud. OK, there had definitely been a slight setback becoming a vampire and all, but she still felt the call of 'Slaying' within her. It was a need to protect others who were truly the weak and innocent from those who would prn thn them. Slowly she unfolded herself, stood up and faced Spike.

If Spike had been surprised by her revelation, he was amazed at the transformation that had come over her. It was almost as if she had suddenly grown from a little girl into an amazon warrior. He had been mistaken about one thing, **That's no little pussy-cat of a tiger inside her, she's a whole bloody animal kingdom. With an emphasis on the real nasty buggers. A one-woman battalion ready to unleash a scorched-earth-take-no-prisoners-I'm-not-gonna-stop-until-I've-killed-everyone-whose-pissed-me-off campaign on the world.** He smiled and rose from the chair, just in case she decided to try and start with him, **Oh yeah. She is a 'Slayer-Vamp' all right, maybe a little weak right now but with time, training and regular feedings she be able to back-up that image she's projecting. Now, if I can just convince her that I'm on her side.**

"So," she said with a confidence in her voice that had long been missing, "the Question now is 'What are you going do?' Tell the Master, or try to kill me? Well, go ahead." Her vampire face rose to the surface, "Make my Millennium."

It was such a bizarre statement to come out of her, that Spike couldn't stop from bursting out laughing. In response to the glare she gave him, Spike held his hands open making what he hoped would be placating gestures towards her while he continued to chuckle. "Now, luv. Let's not get excited here and do something rash. Listen Buffy, that little spell I just did works fine for covering the two of us having a nice little chat and all, but if you start playing Xena Warrior Princess right now, they're going to be in here in no time."

Buffy said nothing, but she made no move to attack. Her vampire face slowly faded. Spike was again looking into her eyes, her spirit finally showing itself in those luminous green orbs. Her defiant glare filled him with a strange sense of pride about her. He did not care whether she had a soul or not. It made no difference to him. Only her now apparent hatred of the Master and Willow mattered. And Spike felt a slight twinge of pleasure at the irony of the thought of the Master unwittingly handing over the means of his own downfall. Her life here, under the Master, had been oppressive and restrictive. She'd obviously not yet had the opportunity to explore the full potential of her vampiric abilities. **But when she does...It's gonna be bloody glorious.**

"OK. First thing, luv, is that I have no intention of hurting you or telling them anything. On the contrary, I want your help."

"For what?" she said suspiciously.

"Destroying the Master and Willow."

A smile curled across Buffy's lips as she thought, **He wants control of the Hellmouth.** Out loud, she simply asked, "Why?"

Spike expression grew somber. "I have my reasons. Suffice it to say that I want them dead."

"Oh no, you don't," now she was annoyed. "You aren't gonna get out of it like that, buster. It's 'Confession Time' remember? No way, Mystery Man. You started this. You 're the Big-Bad-Brit-Boy Vamp who just took control of LA for the Master. Now, what I want to know is 'What's the sitch?' Why would 'You' want to go up against the Master and Willow. What are yopectpecting to get out of it? How do you expect me to trust you?"

Before she could react, Spike had moved into her face and had grabbed her by her forearms. His eyes blazed with a yellow fire. "All right girl you listen to me and listen good. I have my reasons and that is all you need to know. I don't expect you to trust me, I expect you to obey me." He knew as soon as the words had left his mouth, that it had been the wrong thing to say. **Great, just bloody great. Way to make friends.**

"Certainly, oh Master the 2nd. So tell me, am I to remain your little concubine after you become the new Lord of the Hellmouth?" she spat at him.

"The Hellmouth can rot for all I care," he snarled back. "You think I'm some power-hungry little upstart who wants a palace revolution just so I can take the Master's position. If that was all I wanted I could have brought a thousand minions up here from LA and made this place a wasteland. But I didn't because this is personal. The Master and I had an agreement and I more than kept my part of it. He didn't and she knew. So now I've got a special message to give to those two. It requires payment on delivery, and I don't take any bloody American Express or Visa, baby."

Buffy's emotions were racing all over the place. He had been telling the truth, that much she was certain. He was after revenge and when she thought about it, so was she. Still she wanted to hit him. By forcing her to drop her mask, he had stirred up in her a desire to strike out after so many months of repressing herself. She was also very annoyed that she was still feeling as much attraction for him as she was. Her demon had known why those other vampiresses had wanted him. She had felt it as well.
"Fine, if you won't tell me 'Why?' how about answering 'Why Me?' Why did you select me when you had all those other bitches in heat out there to choose from. I'm nothing special. I'm just his fucking Pet, with an emphasis on 'Fucking'. No wait! Hold on. Let me guess." Buffy raised her hand to her head and closed her eyes, as if she were trying to read his mind. You picked me because nee needed someone to get close to the Master and, when he's not looking, stick a stake in his back. Oh my, how clever. Not!"
Spike arched his eyebrow, the prospect of Buffy being this obstinate when he started training her was beginning to raise some concerns.

"You want the truth? Fine. Truth is you weren't my first choice. I was going to ask the Master for Willow, take her home and give her a Holy Water enema until the bitch confessed for me. Then with her confession I could have challenged that deceitful, old gas-bag to single combat. Even if I lost, everyone would know him as an 'Oath-Breaker". Nobody would ever again make a deal with him, and his 'New World Order' would crumble to dust before him. But no, the sneaky bastard pulled a move I wasn't expecting and pfft...I'm left standing with nothing but my knickers on. Then I saw something I never expected. A little ex-slayer-turned-vampire, who was pretending to be something she was not, right under the bastard's nose. Pretending to be insane. Pretending to be weak."

"I am weak. Hell, sometimes I feel like I'm weaker than I was before I became the goddamn Slayer," she said bitterly.

"Only physically."

"What?"

"I said 'only physically'. I've seen enough of your spirit, girl, to know how strong it is," he added. "You've been kept on a restricted diet haven't you?" At her nod he continued, "When you became a vampire, your strength should have at least doubled. As we get older, a vampire's strength continues to grow or he develops other abilities or powers. They vary from vampire to vampire, but the point is this: Lunatic or not, you should be stronger than you were as a Slayer. Vampires are afraid of other vampires who are stronger than them because most of the time that other demon wants dominion over them. This is why Slayers are usually killed instead of turned. With the right feeding and training, you could be the most powerful vampire in the world."

Buffy was feeling a sense of unreality. If she had still been alive her heart would have pounding in her chest. The many shocks and surprises of the evening were beginning to make her think that she was either having a *really* great fantasy dream, or that she had finally had a complete mental breakdown after all of the months of degradation and pain.

"Tell me, Buffy, what do you want more than anything else?" Spike asked.

"To see them dead," she murmured.

"Then how about it? You help me. I help you. Afterwards, we go our separate ways."

Buffy stared at Spike mulling his offer over and over, but one phrase kept on repeating itself, **...most powerful vampire in the world...** In her mind, she had a series of images of herself torturing Willow, staking the Master and sitting on his throne as a large assembly of vampires bowed before her. The decision was simple.

"No."

Spike looked shocked, "What?!" Buffy held up a hand indicating she had more to say.

"I want...," she paused as she saw his face harden at her words. "I *need* you to do something more for me, and I want an Oath from you that you will do it. When it's over. When the Master and Willow are dust."

"Do what?"

"I want you to stake me."