A World of Their Own

Part 8

Spike was confused. He had never even suspected that Xander thought about him in that way. He had spent most of the night and the following morning sitting in the chair beside the boy's bed, thinking. The only time he left was to take the boy’s ruined shorts down to the river to wash them.

Xander's fever had come down slightly and Spike had managed to get a few sips of water into him at one point before the boy passed out again. Spike had briefly considered climbing into bed with him and using his own cold body to cool the boy down. He didn't, however, for several reasons.

The first being that he didn't want to take a chance of falling asleep in case Xander took a turn for the worse. The second was that he no longer trusted himself to not take advantage of the situation. He had clearly heard Xander say his name as he'd climaxed. Of course, that brought up another reason not to do it. What if Xander didn't really want him? Spike wasn't sure he could go through that kind of rejection again; it was the main reason he had been able to put his attraction for Xander behind him - well, mostly behind him. He refused to allow himself to be hurt again.

He knew he would have to wait and see what Xander remembered - if anything - when he got better. Spike was sure he would get better. His arm was going to be sore for awhile; his shoulder was almost black from the bruising, and the cut on his stomach would take some time to heal up but otherwise he'd be fine. And once he was, Spike was going to hurt him for getting himself into this mess in the first place. He'd figured out that Xander had fallen out of a tree. What he wanted to know was what Xander was doing in the tree to begin with.

Spike pulled back the bet aet and looked at the wound again. It looked better, but he could still smell a bit of infection in it. He made sure Xander’s bits were covered before leaning down to clean the wound again. He tried to ignore the painful swelling in his pants as he remembered the way Xander had held his head last night, the way he had moaned his name.

He almost bit through his tongue when Xander’s fingers threaded through his hair again. He ignored the fur blanket-covered erection that was poking his cheek and concentrated on cleaning the wound. Once he was satisfied that it was clean, he pulled away from Xander gently so as not to wake him, and left the room.

Spike paced back and forth in the next room. He was going insane. He had accepted the fact that Xander was not interested in him, that they would never be more than friends, and now he wasn't sure what was going on. He really wished he had a cigarette. A cigarette and a good stiff drink. Everything would make sense if he only had a cigarette and some whiskey.

~!~

In the next couple of days, Xander started to get better and Spike took care of him. Since the second application of Spike's spit seemed to take care of the infection, he hadn't had to put himself in any more intense situations. Xander did wonder about his nakedness though. Spike had simply replied that he had had a fever so he had undressed him. He ignored the blush that had crept up Xander’s face and helped him to sit up in the bed.

Spike brought Xander food and water and kept him company. They played poker - Xander now owed the vampire $2,458.00 - and talked a little. Xander told Spike about his grandfather on his mother's side of the family. He had died when Xander was 11, but Xander still remembered spending summers at the old man's house. How he had an old barn in his backyard full of woodworking tools and that they had spent hours in there making things. He also told Spike how after the first summer, he had never brought any of his projects home with him again.

Spike grit his teeth and listened to the sadness in the young man’s voice as he spoke of his father's drunken rage that had broken the bookstand he had made, how Xander had cried when he had found out it was unfixable. That Xander had sworn he would never bring another thing that he and his grandfather had made home again.

Spike told Xander about growing up in London as a boy. How his father had been killed in a carriage accident and how he and his mum had moved in with her sister and her husband. That the couple had been childless and his uncle had taken a shine to him, sending him to private school and making sure he had a good education. He could have done anything, but all he wanted to do was write poetry.

He had told Xander about his love for Cecily, and how she had spurned him. That had it not been for his utter humiliation, he never would have been out the night Dru had found him.

Xander told him about Cordelia and their in-the-closet relationship. How she was embarrassed to be seen with him and would belittle him publicly, while groping and molesting him privately. He told Spike about the love spell he had Amy put on Cordy that backfired. Spike laughed his ass off when he got to the part where Dru had saved him from Angelus and then offered him immortality.

"Oh, pet. You're bloody lucky she didn't turn you. If I hadn't staked you out of jealousy, your mates would have souled you when they re-souled Angelus and you'd never have gotten laid again." Spike started to laugh again and Xander had a sudden flash of his hands in Spike's hair, pushing him towards his crotch. He shook his head and cleared the image away.

"I think I might take a nap, I'm feeling kinda tired all of a sudden." Xander scooted back down in the bed and closed his eyes. He turned on his side with his back to Spike. He couldn't look at the vampire right now, not after thinking about him like that.

Spike left Xander alone to get some sleep and went outside. He had gotten the drum from the cave last night and was working on turning it into a bathtub for Xander. He just need to fold over the edges so the boy wouldn't cut himself getting in and out of it. He thought Xander might appreciate a nice hot soak after being stuck in bed for a few days.

~!~

Xander relaxed back in the hot water and sighed. Spike had done a great job on the tub. It was so nice to feel hot water again. He had been slightly embarrassed when Spike had scooped him - naked - out of bed and brought him out here, but this more than made up for it.

He kept thinking about Spike for some reason, the way he had been the last few days, he seemed different, less Spike-ish. Not that Xander was complaining - it was nice to have a real conversation with him, to learn a bit about what his life had been like. He liked being able to actually tell Spike stuff. Of course it probably helped that Spike didn't look like the big bad master vampire he had known back in Sunnydale. His hair had grown out, and only the tips were white-blonde now. The rest was a golden-blonde colour with streaks of sun-bleached blonde throughout. He was tanned, and he smiled a lot more. Overall it was a striking effect. Spike looked beautiful.

And that was the bane of Xander’s existence. He was becoming more and more attracted to the blonde. Not just physically. The more Spike opened up about himself, showed Xander who he really was, the more Xander liked him.

Xander lightly probed at the gash on his stomach. He was grateful that it hadn't been infected. He felt stupid for having fallen out of that tree; he still wasn't sure how it happened. One minute he was up in the tree enjoying the view, the next he was falling - hitting a lot of branches on the way down. The last thing he remembered was a sharp pain in his shoulder as he hit. He'd woken up sometime later in his bed with Spike sitting in a chair beside him.

Spike had told him how he had found him and brought him home. That he'd had to set his shoulder and had cleaned him up. When Xander discovered he was naked, Spike had just shrugged his shoulders and told him he had had a fever so he undressed him. Xander wasn't sure, but he thought there might be more to the story than that. Not that he thought Spike had mold hid him while he was out cold or anything, it was just the way Spike dismissed the question.

And then there were the dreams. Xander remembered having erotic dreams about Spike licking him. He could feel Spike’s cold mouth on the skin of his belly, his silky hair tangled around his fingers. He was getting hard just thinking about it. Which was not a good idea as Spike had said he'd be back to get him out of the tub shortly. "I'm falling for Spike, what the hell am I going to do?"

Spike was just coming down the hill to get Xander out of the tub when he heard the man's softly spoken confession. He stopped dead in his tracks. He wanted to throw himself at the boy and tell him he felt the same way, but he was also wary of getting hurt again. He decided it was time for them to talk. But first he needed to get Xander out of the tub.

"’Ello, luv. Enjoying your bath?" Xander jumped and turned around to look at the smirking vampire. "Yes, actually I am. Thanks Spike, this is great!" Spike bowed dramatically. "Your wish is my command. Now, is sir ready to get out of the tub?" Xander blushed, but nodded. This was no easier now that he realised he was falling for Spike. If anything, it was harder. Xander groaned at his choice of phrases.

Spike helped him out of the tub and scooped him up into his arms. Xander covered his parts with his hands and closed his eyes. He had tried to tell Spike he could walk, but the vamp refused, stating that he was still too weak to walk that far, especially uphill. Xander knew it was pointless to argue so he gave up.

Once he was back in bed - boxers on, Spike brought him some water and fruit. He pulled his chair up beside the bed and sat down. Xander sipped at his water and looked at Spike. It was obvious the blonde wanted to talk, and it was serious by the look of things. "What's up Spike?"

"Xander, we need to talk." Xander swallowed and nodded his head. Those words had never led to good things. No one ever said 'we need to talk' followed by an offer of cash and prizes. "Okay, about what?"

Spike leaned forward and looked in Xander's eyes. "What do you remember about the last few days?" Okay, this wasn't what he expected. What did he remember? Not much. "Not a whole lot. I remember falling out of the tree and then waking up in bed in a lot of pain. I remember you taking care of me. I remember..." Xander blushed but continued. "I remember having these... dreams."

Spike looked at him curiously. "Dreams, pet?" Xander blushed and nodded. "What kind of dreams?" Xander lowered his head and spoke so softly Spike almost didn't hear him when he spoke. "I dreamt that you were... licking me."

Spike chuckled and brought Xander’s face up to look him in the eye. "Not dreams, luv. I was licking you." At Xander's stunned expression, Spike continued. "Your wound was infected, vampire spit's good for that sort of thing." Xander scrunched up his nose and then his eyes grew very large. He remembered grabbing Spike's head, pushing it lower. Was that part of a dream, what happened afterward?

"Relax, luv. Nothing else happened. I cleaned your wound and then I covered you up. That's it." Xander believed him, but he also knew that Spike was aware of what he had thought happened, which meant that he knew what Xander had dreamt. He was going to die of embarrassment, that was it. And, oh God. He had been naked! That meant... Xander covered his face and groaned.

"Hey, I'm not telling you this to embarrass you. I like you Xander, have for a while now in case that kiss way back when didn't tip you off. I just thought that, since it's obvious you kinda like me too, we should talk about it before it gets too awkward." Spike looked over at the miserable young man and frowned. It was obvious the boy was having a hard time with this.


"I'm not gonna push you, luv. I just wanted you to know that whatever it is you feel for me, I care about you and I won't push you to do anything; it's your choice." Xander looked up at Spike and gave him a shaky smile. "Thanks Spike. I'm going to need some time to think about all of this though. Is that okay?"

Spike chuckled, and then pecked him on the mouth. "Take as long as you need, pet. I'm not going anywhere."