Xander's Diary
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,620
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
8
Views:
4,620
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Entry 9
Xander’s Diary
Entry 9
Whelp,
you… stupid idiot…you… why did you do it? damn you! ... to take this from us!
I was late, too bloody late. … You are so cold. … I did get the chip out, I can turn you now, see? … no, can’t see anymore… can’t look at me anymore … you fucker. It just took an hour longer than I planed. Why… bloody fucking hell, why couldn’t you wait! … just an hour and we could have done it my way. … 7 fucking years, 4 month and 17 days since you kissed me… tha is just too damn short, a blink of an eye for us, for forever… you damn… whelp, you knew! you knew I love you ... I would never let you go and now… now you lie there… your all cold! … you never were this cold. you’re my nummy, my warmth, your mine! … you are not allowed to go. Mine, do you hear me, MINE! You can’t hear me anymore, can you? … Nummy… what now? … sha shall I do? without you. Here. Alone in our home. Our. You are part of this, this is yours and mine and … what… am I without you… am I without you?
Where did you go? … did you go where you belong white knight? … heaven … can you come back… no… witch is all nuts… so where do I go without you?... wanna go with you… don’t wanna be without you… want you to open your eyes… brown and deep… like coffee and whiskey… so good to look in your eyes… and now… nothing anymore… all gone… wanna go with you… meet you again… where do you go, pet? luv? nummy?... suicide closes the doors to heaven pet… didn’t you know?... where… are you lost somewhere in between?... lost?... are you scared?... oh god, luv, don’t be… protect you… I swore to keep you safe… couldn’t, couldn’t… always want to keep you safe… never lost again. I promised… promised you!… do i go there too?... not all bad anymore, am I?... we’ll see… nummy… won’t we?... you’ll be there, won’t you? …meet me there?… wait for me pet? luv, wait for me there?... I’ll be there… soon see you again… won’t I? see you again?... wait nummy… I’m gonna find you… find you there and take care of you… keep you safe… forever - we still have forever if we find each other there, won’t we? still have forever, luv?... gonna see you there... wait, just a moment… no longer lost then… my nummy, mine …somewhere in between… yours forever… Spike
**********************
There will be no sequel.
Big thanks to Kyrieane to get me in the mood to write this.
Thanks very much to my fabulous beta Joolz.
To all my readers and reviewers: Thank you very much. Your feedback is/was very welcome!
**********************
Entry 9
Whelp,
you… stupid idiot…you… why did you do it? damn you! ... to take this from us!
I was late, too bloody late. … You are so cold. … I did get the chip out, I can turn you now, see? … no, can’t see anymore… can’t look at me anymore … you fucker. It just took an hour longer than I planed. Why… bloody fucking hell, why couldn’t you wait! … just an hour and we could have done it my way. … 7 fucking years, 4 month and 17 days since you kissed me… tha is just too damn short, a blink of an eye for us, for forever… you damn… whelp, you knew! you knew I love you ... I would never let you go and now… now you lie there… your all cold! … you never were this cold. you’re my nummy, my warmth, your mine! … you are not allowed to go. Mine, do you hear me, MINE! You can’t hear me anymore, can you? … Nummy… what now? … sha shall I do? without you. Here. Alone in our home. Our. You are part of this, this is yours and mine and … what… am I without you… am I without you?
Where did you go? … did you go where you belong white knight? … heaven … can you come back… no… witch is all nuts… so where do I go without you?... wanna go with you… don’t wanna be without you… want you to open your eyes… brown and deep… like coffee and whiskey… so good to look in your eyes… and now… nothing anymore… all gone… wanna go with you… meet you again… where do you go, pet? luv? nummy?... suicide closes the doors to heaven pet… didn’t you know?... where… are you lost somewhere in between?... lost?... are you scared?... oh god, luv, don’t be… protect you… I swore to keep you safe… couldn’t, couldn’t… always want to keep you safe… never lost again. I promised… promised you!… do i go there too?... not all bad anymore, am I?... we’ll see… nummy… won’t we?... you’ll be there, won’t you? …meet me there?… wait for me pet? luv, wait for me there?... I’ll be there… soon see you again… won’t I? see you again?... wait nummy… I’m gonna find you… find you there and take care of you… keep you safe… forever - we still have forever if we find each other there, won’t we? still have forever, luv?... gonna see you there... wait, just a moment… no longer lost then… my nummy, mine …somewhere in between… yours forever… Spike
**********************
There will be no sequel.
Big thanks to Kyrieane to get me in the mood to write this.
Thanks very much to my fabulous beta Joolz.
To all my readers and reviewers: Thank you very much. Your feedback is/was very welcome!
**********************