You Should See Him Naked, I Mean Really

Spike sighed and sat down on the edge of Willow’s bed directly across from where Buffy was sitting on her own. They both sat there in silence for several minutes, heads bowed.
“Thought we needed to talk? Not much talking going on” Buffy finally commented.
“Yeah, just trying to compose my thoughts” Spike said.

The couple was interrupted by the door flying open to reveal Anya and Willow. Anya rushed in and grabbed the discarded wine bottle the girls had been drinking earlier in the evening.
“I forgot we left this here. I don’t think Buffy wants to end up in the hospital again so I figured I’d better get it. Not safe to leave it in here with you two” Anya said straight faced.

Spike had the decency to blush. Buffy just glared at her. Anya spun on her heels and exited the room, wine bottle in hand. Willow who had been standing at the door observing, walked tipsily over to Spike and poked a finger in his chest.
“If you do anything to hurt her, you’ll have to deal with me, Mister!”
Spike swallowed the lump in his throat, “I won’t Red. Promise”

Willow turned to Buffy, “Night Buffy. I love you” she giggled, still a bit tipsy from the wine.
“Love you too, Will…night” Buffy replied as Willow left closing the door behind her.

“Well now. That was interesting.” Spike commented.
“Alright, Spike. Spill it. You said we need to talk. So talk.” Buffy blurted out.
“Right then…uhhh…I guess saying I’m sorry isn’t going to do the trick, Buffy but you gotta believe how sorry I am.” Spike apologized.
“Yeah, you’ve already told me all this stuff before” Buffy started picking at the nail polish on her fingernails.

“Buffy”, Spike said.
“Spike”, Buffy replied.
“Buffy, the girls I’ve been with before…look, let’s just say, I am the walking billboard for unrequited love. No matter how good I treated them or what I did for them or how much I loved them; they cheated on me, they made fun of me, they never loved me. I….I’ve never felt so strongly about someone else before like the way I feel for you and when I told you I loved you and you didn’t say it back…all those old feelings came back to me, my insecurities and inadequacies. I’m not saying that made my behavior acceptable. I was wrong, Buffy. I know that. I’m deeply shamed. I never meant to really hurt you though…well physically at least…I guess I did try to hurt you emotionally…to get back at you…but it wasn’t you I was getting back at. It was those that came before you. God, I can’t do this. I’m such a jerk” Spike stood and walked to the other side of the room turning his back to Buffy.

“Spike….I” Buffy began but he cut her off.
“No, let me finish. I was never more terrified than the night we were together. I’m terrified right now, Buffy. I was terrified when I thought you would never love me. I was terrified when I rushed you to the hospital, afraid I had done irreparable damage but I was mostly terrified at what I felt when we were together. When I was inside you…..you complete me, Buffy.” Spike turned back to face her.

“OK…now don’t go all Jerry McGuire on me, Spike” Buffy joked trying to lighten the mood and control her own emotions about ready to spill over.
“I’m serious Buffy. Please don’t poke fun at me. I couldn’t bear it if you did” Spike slumped down into her desk chair.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to…look, Spike, this is hard for me too. Buffy and relationships haven’t exactly been mixy things either. My first love dumped me after I finally had sex with him and more or less told me how bad a lover I was. That kinda messed me up for any guys that came later. Then I got duped into a one night stand by some smooth operator that fed me a line of shit when I was most vulnerable. Then my last boyfriend, well...I caught him with a hooker in a sleazy motel, so…it’s not just you.” Buffy explained to him.

“I’m sorry Buffy” Spike offered.
“Spike, I was humiliated after what you did to me. Do you have any idea what it felt like having to have those strangers at the hospital attend to me in such an intimate manner? It was beyond embarrassing. I was so hurt and upset; I lashed out at you when you dropped me off. I didn’t really mean what I said to you but, God, Spike, do you blame me?” Buffy asked him.
“No, I don’t. I guess I deserved anything you could dish out. Still hurt the same though. I cried like a poncy git the whole way back to my place” Spike admitted.

Buffy got up and moved over to where Spike was sitting.
“You cried over me? And what’s a poncy git? You and your British jargon. Can’t you speak English?” Buffy inquired.
Spike rolled his eyes. “I AM speaking English you silly bint”
“See? There you go again. What’s a bint?” Buffy said.
“You are” Spike replied as he reached out and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to stand between his legs.

Spike rested his head on her stomach and wrapped his arms around her hugging her tightly to him.
“I love you, Buffy. I have for a long time I think. Just finally got you to go out with me and I muck it all up like the stupid wanker that I am. I don’t expect you to say it back. That already got me in trouble once. Just tell me, there’s a chance. The barest smidgen? Someday? You could love me?” Spike asked

Buffy brought her hand up to stroke through his silky hair.
“Spike…I think I already do. I…I’ve never felt with anyone what I felt with you either…but…after what happened…we need to move slower, I think.” Buffy answered him.
“Slow is fine. Better than nothing. I can do slow” Spike smiled into her stomach.
“You can’t just go around being mean to me or calling me names and stuff like that because you get hurt or angry.” Buffy warned him.
“I know. God, I’m so sorry. I swear I will try to make sure it never happens again. I’ll do anything, Buffy. Anything at all to prove myself to you” Spike pleaded.

“Up until what happened, it was the best night of my life, Spike. That’s why it made it all the worse when you did what you did. God, this is so embarrassing….yeah…I liked what you were doing and making me feel but at the same time I felt rather degraded and violated…does that make sense?” Buffy confided in him.
“Yes, luv. I’m so sorry I was the one to make you feel that way. I hurt the girl. I hurt the girl” Spike sniffled as he nuzzled her stomach.
“Ssshhhh…I hurt the boy too. I’m sorry also. Here, come with me” Buffy pulled away and grabbed his hand pulling him out of the chair and leading him to her bed. Spike hesitated when they got there.
“I thought you wanted to take this slow” he quirked an eyebrow at her.
“I do. I just want you to hold me, please?” Buffy beckoned him into bed as she slid in herself.

Spike kicked his boots off and shucked out of his duster then lay down next to Buffy cradling her in his arms. She snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes.
“Spike?” she said.
“Yes?” he replied.
“Does this mean you’re going to stop being the infuriating, annoying and arrogant dumb guy that you normally are?” Buffy questioned him.
“Probably not.” He grinned into her hair.
“O.K. Good. Just checking. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you to argue and fight with. No one can annoy me like you.” Buffy smiled.
“Likewise, pet” Spike responded.

“Thank you, Buffy” Spike kissed the top of her head.
“For what?” she asked.
“Not ripping my dick off and stuffing it down my throat.” He answered recalling what she had threatened him with the previous weekend.
“Well, the night is still young” Buffy teased.
Spike groaned.

The End

A/N: Sorry no more smut folks. I just wasn't "feeling" it. If I decide to do a sequel, then there will be more. Thanks.