VIII

Chapter 8. I’m not waiting anymore. By the way.



Once Dawn asked him why he was always with Buffy, Williams reply puzzled the young teen. “I like to think of it as an investment.” His answer was confident. His voice never wavered. How arrogant youth are. Unknowing the future and sure Buffy would soon be his wife, William refused to allow anything to happen to her. He would protect her from everything in the world.


The party was too loud. Crowds of recent graduates and students from both the college and the younger class congregated inside and around the Bronze. After her first few drinks paid for by a freshman at Sunnydale named Parker, William kept sight of Buffy at all times. Which wasn’t unusual. William always kept an eye on his dearest friend. When Parker decided that his hands should be plastered to Buffy’s bottom, William pulled Buffy aside and asked her to walk outside for a few moments. He smiled when she took his hand without a moment’s hesitation.

They made it a few feet away from the club, before Buffy stumbled. Laughing she put her arms around William. “I think I am drunk.” She declared.

“I would agree. Maybe we should get you home.” William used his free arm to steady her.

“NO! Not ready.” She knew he could never resist a patented Buffy pout. “Let’s go to the park.”

“How about we go home. I promise to fix you a nice glass of water and give you some aspirin so your head won’t kill you in the morning.” Buffy snuggled into his embrace.

“Nope the park and then home.” She looked up slightly and batted her eyes at him.

“OK. Park first then home. And nowhere in between, love.” With a finger wagging sternly at her, William started towards the park. After a few steps he turned and looked back. “Well?” She was standing in the same spot.
arryarry me.”

With an exaggerated sigh, William pretended to be irritated. “Piggy back, or Princess.”

“Come here piggy.”

“oink oink.”

“You’re such a pig.” Buffy said giggling. Within moments Buffy was situated on Williams back. “Giddy up piggy.”

“Wrong animal love. And stop kicking or this pig may just buck you off.”

“Pigs don’t buck.”

“And pigs don’t giddy up or anywhere else” Their cheerful banter continued till they reached the park.


Once they reached the swings, William suddenly knelt down on all fours. “Ok, off.” He ordered laughing.

“Nope, more!” She screamed. William laughed harder when he felt her hand softly slap his ass. He turned slightly causing Buffy to fall from his back. Suddenly he was hovering over her.

“Now you’ve done it love, gonna get you now!” They had been friends for close to ten years. William was eight when he moved into Sunnydale. The Summers moved in next door one year later. During that time William learned all of Buffy’s weak spots. Especially how ticklish she was on her stomach. He used that knowledge too bring tears of laughter to her eyes.

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” She shrieked.

“Promise to be nicer to your pig!” He laughed, drawing his hands away from her.

The moon was full, illuminating his light brown hair. She turned serious. “You know I love you right?” her words were soft, but to William, they were as clear as if she used a megaphone.

He wanted to scream the words back so loud that the heavens would hear. Instead he leaned forward. “Can I….” he whispered, his face close to hers. Her answer was to wrap her hands around his neck and pull his face to hers.

The kiss was soft, the next slightly firmer. Her hands moved down his neck, down his spine where she began kneading his shirt. Within moments she had the back of his shirt pulled from his pants. A few seconds later the front was lose. His knees started to buckle when he felt her hands across his abdomen.

“Buffy?”

Her eyes were half closed, her face flush as though she had a sudden fever. “William.”

“Yes.”

“Will you make love to me?”

He pulled away and stood. Distancing himself from her. “I love you.” His chuckle was harsh mixed his panting. He was harder than he had ever been in his whole life. “We kiss for the first time tonight and you want me to make love to you.” He held his hand out towards her. “You’re drunk. Let’s get home so you can sleep it off.”

“There wasn’t anything in the cokes except ice. I wasn’t drinking tonight. I told the bartender I was underage, and he switched out my rum and cokes. After that he just charged Parker for the rum and coke, but left out the rum.”

William looked at her. He only kept track of how many drinks she was taking, not what was in them. He licked his lips. She didn’t taste like alcohol. She tasted like strawberry lip gloss. “Then why?”

“Because I love you. You love me. And I want my first time to be special.” She stood in front of him. “I want my first time to be with you.”

Suddenly he was on her. Hands gripped her back, pulling her close to h“God“God I love you.” Buffy tugged his shirt off his body, as his hands tried to unbutton hers. He lost control as her mouth caught his neck. “Christ!” He went still. Focusing on nothing but her teeth on his tender flesh. Before he understood what she had done, William felt her breasts soft against his chest. He looked down, surprised that she had already removed her shirt. Once again Williams’s hands snaked around her body, this time he lifted her against him. Bringing her mouth once more to his, William begin walking them over to a small grove of trees. Once there he gently laid Buffy on the soft ground, his lips never leaving hers.

She pulled away first. “William?”

He was afraid to speak. Afraid his voice would betray the intensity of his desire.

“Have you ever…?”

He shook his head.

The smile she rewarded him was so bright, William couldn’t help but return it with one of his own. He felt her hand on his. She lifted it high and entwined her fingers with his. William couldn’t take his eyes off their intertwined hands as she brought them down over her neck, there she moved her fingers from his and laid her palm on the top of his hand. “Touch me.” William stared in awe as she moved his hand down her throat, towards her breasts.

She was still, under him, afraid if she moved he would bolt. Knowing she made a wise choice in giving her virginity over to the best man she knew, Buffy wanted to make sure he rstorstood that …. that… God the things he was doing!

One fincirccircled her dusky rose nipple, not quite touching the sensitive flesh. She moaned panting hard when he finally touched her nipple. Encouraged William brought his mouth teasingly over her breast. The skin was ridged and firm. Buffy wove her hands in his hair pulling him closer. “Oh God MORE!”

William moved his other hand down her stomach. His hands found the button on her jeans. He looked up, still keeping his mouver ver her breast he whispered, “Can I?”

At her nod, William began unbuttoning her pants. He slid the zipper down slowly, the teeth of the zipper vibrated in his hand. “Lift your hips love” Once she moved he lifted his body up with hers, positioning himself between her thighs. Gently, afraid to move to fast, William pulled the jeans from her body. Under her hips, down her legs, where they got tangled on her shoes. He stopped only for a moment, as though confused by what to do. They were light brown boots with a zipper on the sides. He looked at Buffy’s face, suddenly smiling. “Guess I need to take those off first.” Reaching down he unzipped the side and repeated with the other boot. He tossed them behind his head and started on her socks. She laughed when he repeated the action with those also.

“I’ll never find them again.” She giggled.

Once again serous, William removed her pants. Her feet had red marks from the boots, and William took a moment to lavish the slightly reddened skin with gentle kisses. Moving back up her body, stopping to kiss her knees, William made his way back to her breasts. One hand started towards the line of soft fabric covering her sex.

“William wait.” She sounded startled.

“Do you want to stop?” He felt frustration scream inside him.

“NO! I want to do this…. I just..” He looked down at her. Her expression was unsure, Buffy was even biting her lower lip.

“You just?” He prompted.

“Aren’t you going to take off your shoes and … and stuff?” Her eyes were closed when she asked. William pulled her close against him again. So close he could breathe in her sent. With a smile he remembered the smell of her shampoo.

“If my pants come off, I think I may start rushing. I am so ready, that I may hurt you.”

“I’m ready too.” Her voice was defiant. As though she felt he was ahead of her. But the truf hof how unready she was was obvious when his hand snaked inside her silk panties.

Williams’s heart was almost crushed when his fingers felt her dryness. “Oh God, Buffy. I want you so much, but please if we are going to do this, then let me make sure I don’t do anything to hurt you. I don’t think I could stand it if I caused you any pain.” He moved the final layer of clothing from her body, but this time, when he made the journey back up her legs, William paused just above her knees.

“Open for me love.” His eyes locked with hers, begging her to allow him to do this. To taste her. To give her as much pleasure as he could before he gave her any pain. At Buffy’s nod, William settled himself down in her thighs. With one arm used to prop himself up, William opened her with his other. He was surprised by how pink she was. He licked two fingers and began exploring her. At his first touch Buffy jerked.

As though talking to a started animal, William began speaking in soft soothing tones. “You’re so beautiful. I never knew a woman’s body could ever be so amazing.” His fingers moved again. Up against her lips. “All soft and glowing. So warm.” He was rewarded with a soft moan and felt her start to moisten around his finger tips. He moved one finger father inside. She tightened around him. “I can feel you getting wetter around my finger. The thought of being the first inside you. Touching you like this. I can’t tell you how it makes me feel.” Her hips started to shake as he added another figure inside her. “Can I taste you? Will you let me taste you? Cause you smell so amazing. My mouth is watering just at the thought.”

“Yes, William.” Without stopping his fingers inside of her William leaned in and took one experimental swipe of his tongue. She tasted musky. Tasted like salt air. He felt her hands reach for his hair again. At first he thought she would pull him away, in a panic he surrounded her clit with his teeth. Surprised Buffy jerked.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” He asked backing away.

“NO! NO! It felt amazing!” She was panting hard, inside her something was welling.

“Can I…” William didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted. “I know this is my first time, but can I try and….” He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. It was so hard to think.

“William, you can do anything you want. Don’t worry about it. If it feels half as good as that did, then I will love it.” Buffy said reaching out for him again.

“I want to try and make you come, with my mouth. I want to know if it will taste like this or even better.” He tried not to look to eager at her nod, but failed when he practically dove back into her thighs. He never heard her giggles which soon turned into moans as he began using his fingers, lips, tongue and teeth on her cunt.


Watching her over her damn nest of curls and stomach, William reveled in the power he suddenly had over her. As she finally came, twisting and arching her body into his mouth, William asked himself why they hadn’t tried this sooner. He had always known there would be no other woman for him than Buffy. No other woman for him.

As she calmed from her orgasm, William carefully began removing his pants. He was too worked up to fight with his shoes, so he left his pants around his ankles. “Buffy are you ready? Can I… can I” She saved his uncertain question by opening her arms to him. Carefully he moved over her again. One hand still inside her, she was so slick now. His cock was hard, oh so hard, he was afraid that he would hurt her. He knew he would hurt her. She was so small. So tight. SO WET. His shoulders shuddered as he positioned his cock just outside her entrance. “Promise me Buffy.” His voice never sounded so weak, never sounded so needy. “Promise me that if I hurt you will tell me.” Buffy nodded her head.

She felt his finger leave her body. Not a second later she felt something larger enter the small opening of her body. Instinct caused her body to tense. William began talking to her as he had before. Soft soothing tones. Once sure the very tip of his cock wouldn’t slip, William brought his hand to her breast. He caressed her. Brought her to a moaning withering woman beneath him again, when suddenly she shifted under him, bringing him farther inside her. He could feel it now. The piece of Buffy so deep inside her. Protecting her from the world. Protecing her from harm. Protecting her from ….. from…. an invasion of man. With a silent prayer to god, William vowed to take the place of her maidenhood, and always protect his love.

“DO it, Do it William. Please.” He didn’t need to be asked twice, but was surprised when there movements synchronized, breaking her barrier together.

He thought that was how it would be with them. Thought that no matter what the barrier, no matter what the conflict, they would face it together. He never knew what went wrong.


Tonight he would find out. He was so tired. So tired of loving a woman who only chose him once. Once then left his alone, sleeping on a damp bed of earth, under a small grove of trees.

Spike was no longer William, but…..

Spike was no longer William. But both were tired of being left alone.

The wedding was over.

It was all that everyone had hoped for. Dawn came down the isle looking like a princess marrying her prince charming. Spike was surprised when he saw Angel at the end of the isle. No one informed him that Buffy’s former husband was the best man. Although he refused to show any negative emotions on Dawns wedding day, at least till the loving couple was long gone on their honeymoon, Spike was angry with the realization that Buffy and Angels lives would once again intertwined. He wanted to scream, telling the world how unfair it was. Knowing that no matter how the day turned out, Angel would still be family to his women.

Family that Spike wasn’t sure is was a part of. Wasn’t sure he still wanted to be a part of.


He stood away from the crowd as they waved the couple on. Connor opened the door to the limo, but just before she moved to the car, Dawn turned and rushed over to Spike. With a quick kiss on his cheek she whispered, “No more angeo moo more holding the past over either of your heads. Whatever your problems are, I want you to have it worked out tonight. Either way. Just figure it out.” Not being able to refuse her impossible request, Spike nodded. Then turned and walked farther from the crowd. Farther down the street.

A nice walk would do nicely about now. A nice walk to her house.

He was sitting on the front porch when she found him. With a soft sigh she sat down next to him. Time never flies in moments like this. Time stands still. Time refuses to move. Time stops.

Then moves again.

“Do you want me to grovel? Down on my hands and knees? To beg forgiveness for all the sins I caused against you?” Her words were angered, pronounced slowly and profound. But she wasn’t angry.

He wanted to smile. He wanted to say ‘yea and while your down there why not give ol’ Spikey a little blow.’ He just shook his head. “You look good.”

“Someone told me I looked like a preteen boy. Not what any woman wants to hear.”

Silence.

“What are we doing Buffy?” Spike reached for his smokes. One day he will stop. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow he will be dead so it doesn’t matter anyway. “I don’t want you to anything except explain to me why you left me.”

She sighed and pulled the cigarette from his mouth. Spike was surprised when she lifted it to her own mouth, inhaled deeply and blew out the foul smoke. Without a second thought Spike took the white tube from her mouth and tossed it to the ground. After his boot stamped it out, Spike pulled his pack out. With one hand he crushed it and tossed it to the side. ‘Solved that one. No more cancer sticks for me. No more for you.’

With a lonely smile on her face, Buffy started. “You fell asleep. I gathered our clothes and was going to make us a pallet. I found the ring.”

Stunned. Spike was stunned. She wasn’t supposed to find it, he had a whole speech planned. He was going to get her home and then, once he had her safely in her room, William was going to get down on bended knee. William would have told her how much he loved her. William would have read his words of poetry. William would have kissed her lightly and make love to her on her bed. William would have loved her forever.

What would Spike do?

“It was just a ring. Not a big deal. Not enough for you to run away.”

“I found the speech.”

Damn.

He stared at the stars. Stared at the heavens above. Stared anywhere but at her.

“So instead of being honest. You decided to leave me naked, alone, to wake up cold.”

She moved so suddenly he never saw her hand as it slapped his shoulder. “I wasn’t ready! You weren’t ready! We would have ruined everything!” She stood and walked closer to the front door. Her hand reached out to turn the knob. She stopped just before her hand touched the handle. “I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to say no. I didn’t know then…”

Spike waited. William locked so far deep inside of himself cried to allow her this escape. William cried out to Buffy’s pain. William wanted to once again protect her from the big bads of the world. Spike pushed him farther down inside. “Then what Buffy? Then what?”

“I didn’t know how much I loved you. I DIDN’T KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD HURT TO NOT HAVE YOU ANYMORE.” Tears flowed freely down her face. Over her nose and down her chin. “I was young, and stupid, and I was so afraid of losing my best friend. And yes, Spike. I know I was selfish, I know I hurt you and everyone else. I know I hurt Angel and I know I hurt Dawn, and I know I hurt my mommy. It wasn’t time.”

“You didn’t waste time with Angel.”

Buffy turned back to him. With a half chuckle half sob, Buffy searched deep inside herself to find the words. “Another mistake. You want to know why I could say yes to him, but ran from you before you could say the words? Because I knew with Angel it wasn’t going to be forever, I knew it wouldn’t be a happily ever after. I could make the mistakes with him that I could never make with you.”

“YOU NEVER GAVE ME THE CHANCE!” He didn’t mean to scream. He didn’t mean to scream again either. “DID YOU THINK I COULDN’T LET YOU MAKE MISTAKES? WHAT KIND OF MAN DO YOU THINK I AM?”

“William, I couldn’t risk it. If I said yes to you, or stayed in Sunnydale, it would have been forever. I wasn’t ready for forever. I wanted now, and I wanted it…. I wanted to find myself. I wanted to figure out who I was before I became yours. All yours. I wasn’t ready for that. And you know what? I don’t think you were either.”

“Of course I was. I had everything planned. I had the ring and the words and I loved you.” Spike wanted to shout that he still had the ring. That he still had the words. That he still loved her. He bit his lip.

“You were 18 years old. Where were we going to live, where were we going to get money? We were so young, William. We were so damn young. What were we going to do after we got married? Have kids we didn’t know how to raise? Live with our parents? What was the plan Spike?”

She was right. Looking back all Spike could remember was thinking of telling everyone they were getting married. He never once looked past the wedding. He didn’t think of children except in the abstract ‘years from now’ way.

“So you left.”

“So I left.”

“You could have come back. I would have understood. You could have said no or that you weren’t ready. I would have understood.”

“I could have. I could have done a lot of things.”

“So where do we go from here?” The words sounded bitter even to his own ears.

“I don’t know. We could try and be friends again. Like before.” Buffy smiled at his growl. “I hoped you would say that. Cause the truth is, I wasn’t ready for you before, but I can’t spend another day without you.” Buffy sat down next to him again. The stars were full in the night sky. Neither noticed. Slowly, Buffy held her hand out to him. It took a moment for Spike to absorb all that had happened. Everything for the last eight years leading up to this moment. This moment when Buffy was offering not only a chance in her life, to be a part of her life, but center stage in her life.

He took her hand, stood, and pulled her from the stoop. After opening the door, Spike held it open for her. He put his arm out in front of her, blocking her path.

“By the way love, I’m not waiting any more. I want to wake up with you in the morning, and I will stop at nothing to get that.”

Her head thrown back, Buffy laughed. “Then I guess you will just have to wear me out tonight then. Love.”


A/N This is the end. I wanted to show a story where Buffy and Spike grew up together and away from each each other. I think I also wanted to get some issues I have in my own marrage. Sometimes it is hard to explain why I feel like running away from such a wonderful hud. d.

I also wanted to do a story that had a long time span shown in a shorter story. This has been a dear story for me. In a way I hate that I showed so much of myself in this one. And in a way I feel greatful to it because i purged things that I think were holding me back in my life. I dont know, only time will tell.

My many thanks to my beta Smithers, who rescued me from misspelling supposed (suppost) Thanks to Zeta for all her enouragment along with Nikita, and Miss Kitty. Also I dedicate all the smut in this story to Prank. He always seems to be around when I need to ask a guys POV for my writing.

Anyway, please review