ONE NORMAL LIFE / TWO EXTRAORDINARY LIVES

CHAPTER 73 - WELCOME TO COLORADO

It was just a little past 7:00am, about an hour after they'd left the farmhouse, when Xander announced that would be entering Colorado in a few minutes.

They all looked out their windows to see the green Welcome to Colorado sign with the little white Rocky Mountains in the background, like the licenses, which had looked the same for years.

"Wow! Colorado!" said Dawn, followed by, "when do we see the mountains, Xander? I hear you can see them from pretty far off.

"I don't know, Dawnster," he said, using the endearing term that he used when she was much younger, "probably not until we're about an hour or hour and a half away from them."

"I think we'll see the foothills before that. My mom and dad used to talk about seeing them a couple of hundred miles away, I think," Willow added.

"But we're not heading toward the biggest part of them, we're heading sort of Southwest."

"Yeah, but before we get to Durango, we'll be in the San Juan Mountains and those are some big suckers, too. The Continental Divide is around there and that's something like 14,000 feet," Willow argued.

"Then we'll most definitely see mountains," Xander said, nodding his head, "but not for a while."

"We're going to be driving up to 14,000 feet?" William asked, suddenly not feeling so well.

"No, we'll be in the San Juan Mountains, but I don't think that the road we'll be travelling on is going to go up nearly so high at all. You have to get off the main road and onto a special one just to get to the top of the divide, from what I understand," Willow answered.

William breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh," Willow said, looking at the map.

"Oh, what?"

"We will going up to about 10,000 feet though," she said, smiling apologetically at William.

He gulped.

"It's not so bad, William," Xander called from the front cab, "you don't need any special oxygen masks or anything."

Dawn smacked him, and he laughed.

"I've just never been up in mountains before, at least not very tall ones," he said remembering travelling through very small ones by train with his mother and brother. Not even sure they'd qualify as mountains, when he thought of it, now.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I don't think many people, except those who live in Colorado, have ever been in such high mountains, William. I haven't." Buffy said.

"Ten-thousand feet," William repeated, shaking his head.

"I think it will be fun," Buffy said, "aery ery picture worthy!"

"Hey Buffy, I bet they'll be snow!" Dawn called.

"Yeah, snow! That's right!" Buffy said, smiling.

"Snow? They'll be snow?" William asked.

"Sure," Xander said from the front, "up that high there's snow all year round."

Buffy took William's hand and smiled at him. He smiled back, seeing her face all lit up and excited. Guess he'd deal with it, as long as she was there with him.

"Xander, need a break?" Willow called.

"Nope, doing just fine so far. Maybe in another couple of hours or so."

"When ever you say, Xander. Though we all could take breaks every hour or so, between you, Dawn, and me."

"I know, but I don't mind driving. I'm just so grateful that I can still do it..." he trailed off.

"Yeah, glad you can, too," Dawn said, patting his hand.

William looked at Buffy and pointed to his eye questioningly, and she nodded.

Dawn came back from the front.

"Anyone wanttaketake my place?" she asked.

"I will, unless anybody else wants to," Buffy said, looking at William and then Willow. They shook their heads.

"Okay, then," she said, and gave William a kiss, then went up to join Xander.

"Hey Xand."

"Hey, Buff."

They chatted about little things for a while, about Colorado, about New Jersey, and his job, about hers.

"I really like Angela," Buffy said.

"I'm glad, so do I."

"You'd better!"

He laughed.

"I'm sorry we haven't talked in so long, Buffy."

"I know, me, too. I thought about you a lot. About all of you. I think we just needed to try to live our own lives, to see if we could. At least I did. I never even knew what it felt like to live a 'normal life,' free from slaying every night," she whispered the last part.

"Yeah," Xander said, adding, "and then there was the loss..."

Buffy felt her stomach knot at the memories that brought back.

"Do you miss?" ?" she asked softly.

"Anya?"

"Yeah."

"Sometimes. No, I mean, I guess it's like I always will, in some ways, but I love Angela so much...it's hard to understand how you can love different people in different ways. Sometimes it seems like disloyalty," he said, shrugging.

"It's not. Not really. I guess different people just claim different parts of your heart, but that doesn't mean that you're disloyal."

"I guess not. Still, I try not to dwell too much on the past," Xander said, "besides, with kids, they keep you pretty well tied to the present."

"Yeah, guess they tend to do that, they're so...immediate."

Xander laughed, "Yeah, that's a great word for it, Buffy, immediate! They live in the present, want their demands met in the now. They don't know what it means to wait, don't understand time..."

They rode along in silence for a while.

"You missed him, didn't you?"

"Who?"

"Spike."

"Yes, every day. It got better, though. At least that's what I told myself. Some days I even forgot that the house I was living in had been his, forgot that the reason I was going on with my life; my 'normal life' was because of him. But yeah, I did miss him, Xander. Terribly."

"You still do, don't you?"

"What do you mean?"

Xander lowered his voice, "What I mean, is that William isn't exactly Spike."

"No, I...it's hard to explain. I mean, I already met William before, just not so much. It's not that I miss him, so much, that I miss him remembering our history together."

"Even the bad stuff?"

"Yeah, I guess, even the bad stuff. I don't know. It's weird thinking about missing Spike, when the man he was is sitting right back there," she said, motioning with her head, "speaking of disloyal..."

"Or schizophrenic?"

"Yeah, or schizophrenic," Buffy agreed, "that's the way it feels sometimes, like I have schizo feelings about him - William and Spike. Spike was also William, but William is...I look for Spike in him, sometimes. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah, think we all do, to a degree. You probably just do it more, since you're...closer to him."

"It's not just in 'that way,' not at all. I just look at the way he says things and the way he cocks his head, the way he looks at things..."

"And?"

"And? It's a mixed bag. I mean, he doesn't talk like Spike very much at all. But yesterday, he said, 'Oh bugger!' and it made me feel...almost joyful, to hear that come out of 'his' mouth. Of course, he apologized for his language, then," Buffy said, rolling her eyes.

"Definitely not a Spike thing," Xander said, laughing.

"Most definitely not. And I try not to swear in front of him either. I try to be...more lady-like. Big joke, huh?"

"Why? You're a lady! It's not like you swore like a truck driver or something."

"No, I just killed things. Not very lady-like in my book," she shook her head.

"Bad things. You killed bad things, Buffy. Remember that."

She didn't say anything.

"You don't think he'd understand, do you?"

"Would Angela?"

"I...I don't know. I used to think that she was totally innocent of all that, but sometimes I get the feeling that she knows more about stuff than she lets on. I don't know. Might just be my imagination. If she does know things, then she's not letting on. For my sake, I suppose."

"I used to have dreams, I know I did, because she would wake me up from them. When I asked her if I said anything, she would tell me that I said nonsensical things, but I know that the dreams were all hell-mouthy, so who knows what I said."

"So, you think William would understand about slayers and all that?"

He thought for a few minutes.

"Look Buffy, aside from the fact that William is from a different time, he's no different that Willow, I, Cordelia, or Oz, were before we knew you and learned about all this stuff. Or even your mom," Xander flinched after he mentioned Joyce, "sorry about that, Buffy. I just mean, we all adapted to a 'new reality,' is all."

"Yeah, I suppose, but William's reality is a bit more than just learning about what I was, and about monsters. It's about learning all about the role he played in all this."

"Well, you can always tell him that it's because of him that any of us have what we do. That's not a bad legacy after all."

"No, not too bad. I just don't know...William has this worldview that is so...provincial? Is that the right word?"

"Don't know. Never went to college. Does that mean close-minded?"

"I don't think so, just narrow, or even the usual, perhaps. Like 1 + 1 = 2, something like that."

"Well, we all did, at one time. Actually, I'm sort of glad, for the most part to believe in the 1+1=2 way of things most the time," Xander said, "lot's to be said for knowing what side is up, being able to trust in the way of the world...crap...I'm not helping, am I?"

"Not so much," Buffy laughed. "That's what I'm talking about, though. I...hate to think of the time, when that will be taken away from him."

"On the other hand, it will also explain a lot to him."

"Like what?"

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, what?"

"Hello! World to Buffy! Explain like why he's over 100 years old, but looks like he's in his 20's. Explain why he has no memory of the past 100 years and only remembers the 1800's, instead of the 1900's, the new century. Duh!"

"Oh, that, well, now that you explain it that way."

"All easy now right?"

"Yeah, right!"

"Explains something else, too."

"What's that?"
hy hhy he loves you so much."

Buffy smiled, touched by his sincerity.

"Xander?"

"What, Buffy?"

"If he...if William suddenly remembered being Spike, would you...?"

"Go back to hating him?"

She sort of shrugged.

"Nah, I'm over it! Long as he treats you well, I've no problem. But can't say that I wouldn't love to tease him again. Used to really get a rise from him..." Xander said, dreamily.

"Ouch!" he cried, when Buffy elbowed him.

Xander was quiet for a while, then asked, "Didn't you say that Spike left you the house and that he actually was well off? Enough to leave money to both you and Dawn?"

Buffy nodded, wondering where this was leading. She didn't have to wonder long.

"Then why the hell was he always bumming money from me? Stealing my money, too, I might add."

Buffy looked at Xander, her mouth open, then broke into a smile, "Evil. Vampire, you know," she whispered, barely able to contain her laughter.

Xander just nodded, "Well, tell you this, Buffy, if William ever gets Spike's memories back, I'm going to remind him of every dollar, nickle, dime, and penny he ever mooched off of me and he's going to repay me! With interest! Compound interest! Hmm...that'll be pretty sweet! Ten years of interest..."

"Oh, God, stop," Buffy said, doubled up with laughter she was trying desperately to suppress.

"That uncanny bastard!" Xander said, "all those years..."

END CHAPTER 73