"You've always disappointed your father and your mother wishes you were a girl!"
"Sweetums!" Spike exclaimed upon hearing Anya's hissed words to her small captive.
"*Anya*." Xander intoned disapprovingly at the sight of Anya holding cotton candy in one hand and a small boy by his arm, as he struggled to get away, with the other.
Anya started, looking at Xander guiltily while releasing the child's arm. She winked at Spike. "Well, he ran right into me, Xander, and didn't stop to apologize! Only to tell me to get out of the way! The way was *mine*, seeing as how he was moving and I wasn't." She explained her dialogue to the six year old that had just run away, crying. She held out pink confections for them both. "Never mind the little juvenile delinquent, I got you cotton candy."
Xander took his, doing his best to look stern while licking spun sugar.
Anya thrust Spike's cotton candy at him, moved between the two and linked her arms ugh ugh theirs. She began walking them forward. "I want to go on the Ferris wheel, okay?"
"Wanna spy that young one you let go and spit in his hair?" Spike asked.
Anya looked at Spike. "Yes." She turned to smile at Xander. "No, of course not." She turned back to Spike. "What did you get me?"
"Fuzzy knickers."
Xander leaned his head back to look at Spike. "What?"
"Fuzzy knickers. You know. The bra and panties with the fuzzy outline? The fake fur?"
"Aw, yes. The ever popular fuzzy, um, knickers; I have no idea what you're talking about, Spike."
Spike stopped their walk and reached into his duster to pull out a hanger with purple bra and panties attached. Each trimmed in a fuzzy wealth of purple fluff.
"Oh, how cute!"
"Oh, those."
"Is this her, son?"
The trio looked over, and then *up* at a huge leather clad, heavily tattooed man with a shaved head, black goatee and a really pissed off look on his face. Spike quickly hid his fuzzy knickers.
"Yes? Can we help you?" Anya. Always the sport Xander mussed, mentally feeling the ouches already. This was a really, really *large* man.
Spike dropped down in front of the boy, quickly vamped out and back, popped back up, smiling at his father. He looked back at the wide-eyed boy. "Something we can help you with, kid?" Spike asked the now terrified boy.
"no. no. Nope. Sorry. Wrong mean lady." He tugged on his dad's leather vest. "It's not her, daddy. Let's just go, okay?"
"You sure, son?" Big Daddy glared at the innocent looking threesome. Spike looked up and began to whistle. Xander shoved an elbow in his ribs.
"He *said* it was some *other* mean lady! What? Are you de-Ow! Xander! Did you just pinch me?"
"We're gonna just head on over to the Ferris wheel now. You folks have a nice evening." Xander rushed them forward. Anya turned back and mouthed "I'm gonna get you" to the little boy looking back at them. He promptly burst into tears. Spike vamped out and back again while the little boy was still looking. The boy screamed and grabbed his father's leg. Xander turned back and watched the crying boy get picked up and begin to sob into his father's neck. "I just wanna go *home* daddy! There's monster's here!"
"Spike?"
"What?" Pure innocence.
"Anya?"
"Yes, Xander?" Xander hadn't thought it possible, but Anya sounded even more innocent than Spike just had.
"No Ferris Wheel for the two of you!"
"Ah. Too bad, we're bad, eh, Ahn? Look! The lobster!"
"Oh! That goes high and spins very fast, yes?"
"I do believe it does."
"Come *on*, Xander!" Anya and Spike in stereo and Xander is grabbed and pulled to the lobster line.
Oh, joy.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Okay, okay, fine! The lobster it is. We can ride the lobster-"
"We're *on* the lobster, pet, too late-"
"But," Xander continued, ignoring Spike, "you two are gonna have to win me stuff, or I'm gonna find that biker-dude and tell him you put the whammy on his kid." Xander snipped as the not-safe-seeming-at-all-bar was slammed down across their thighs by the scary looking carni.
"Don't be silly, Xander." Anya told him as they moved high in the air and twirled, thanks to calculated movements on Spike's and her part, as the carni herded on to other passengers. "We didn't put a whammy on him. I only threatened him in jest. And Spike made his scary-bumpy face."
"I want something *big*." Xander mumbled. "Manly fuzzy things. Maybe a giant Tasmanian Devil."
"Do you think if I try to spit on people the spit will fly back in my face?" Anya asked as the ride began.
tbc
