How To Date A Vampire
folder
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
3,116
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
-Buffy the Vampire Slayer › Slash - Male/Male › Spike(William)/Xander
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
3,116
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer (BtVS), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 7
All in all, one could say Spike’s and Xander’s first date was a little on the shaky side. Just a bit. A little. Not quite the perfect first date that they had hoped for. As it turned out, bowling was a very bad idea.
Take my advice: never go bowling on a first date. It only leads to trouble and strife.
“Oi! That pansy with the broken leg and crushed ribs came in after us!”
A trip to the Emergency Room isn’t much better.
“Spike, sit down and shut up before I shove this ball where no ball has ever been before.”
Spike gave a look.
“I don’t want to know,” Xander concluded. “Well, trust me, this ball is going to hurt you big time.”
“Charming, that is.” Spike folded his arms and looked away. “Only trying to help. Not my fault you got your hand glued in a bowling ball, is it?”
“No,” Xander said patiently. “But it is your fault that we nearly got arrested.”
“Yeah? How’s that, then?”
*Flashback*
“Come on, luv. It ain’t coming off. Let’s go to ER, yeah? Before you rip your fingerprints off.”
“Okay.”
“Sirs? SIRS?! I’m afraid you can’t leave the premises with one of the balls. They are the property of the Alley.”
“That a fact, mate? Think you can stop us?”
“Sir, I must insist that you…”
“GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”
“AHHHHHHH!!!!”
“GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”
“AHHHHHHH!!!!”
“GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”
“Spike, NO!”
~CLONK~
*End of flashback. Obviously.*
“It weren’t me that hit the poor geezer,” Spike argued.
“It was you that scared him half to death. And technically it was you that hit him.” This was a good point.
“It was your bowling ball.” That was also a good point.
“Yes, but it was you that manipulated my arm and made me hit him with my new bowling ball appendage.” Very well put.
“…He got in my way.” The argument was becoming thin.
“Clearly. You could have just explained.”
“So could you.”
“That isn’t the point.”
“Yes it is.”
“Spike!”
“What? I was only trying to do my best for you. Only did it because I care.”
Xander melted. Not literally. The weather wasn’t that hot. And it was night. “You really care about me?” he asked softly.
“’Course. Didn’t want you to be in any pain. Just wanted to get you here quick as possible.”
Xander turned to fully face his date. “I guess that’s kinda sweet…” At Spike’s glare, Xander chose a new word. “…uh, manly. Thanks.”
“’Welcome. Like you a lot, you know.”
“I know. I like you too.” Xander leant in and touched his lips against Spike’s. The kiss was gentle and tender, slow and soft. A cool hand brushed his cheek and Xander lifted his own hand to…
~CLONK~
“OW! Bloody hell!”
“Oh, god, Spike, I’m sorry! I totally forgot about the ball!”
“How the sodding hell can you forget about that bloody great thing?”
“When I stare into your ocean-blue eyes, I forget everything.”
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, you know? And my eyes are sky-blue, thank you very much. Ocean, indeed.”
“Sorry. Couldn’t resist. I did try – for a hundredth of a second. Then my willpower was no more. Totally out the window. You forgive me, right? For hitting you with the ball, not the sarcasm. ‘Cause, that’s just me – the sarcasm, that is, not the ball. I’m not like a ball. Not at all.”
Spike frowned and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Are you high?”
“No! A little bit, yeah. But I don’t remember smoking anything…”
“Must be the damn glue,” Spike interrupted before Xander could launch into something else that didn’t quite make sense. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the tube of glue that he’d confiscated from the unluckiest kid in Sunnydale.
*Flashback. Again. A Different one, though. Not the same one.*
“How the buggery bollocks have you got your hand stuck in a bowling ball?!”
“I don’t know! Someone must have put glue in it! Or maybe it’s some sort of magic…”
~snicker, snicker~
~slow and sinister head turn~
“You little toe rag.”
~kid blows raspberry~
“GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!”
“WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!”
*End of Flashback. I don’t really need to tell you that. If you observe carefully, you’ll notice that the italics have finished. It’s a clear sign.*
“Bollocks. Do not inhale,” Spike read. Not the bit about bollocks. It didn’t say anything about bollocks. Although I’m sure gluing them would be a mistake – just for future reference. “Bit late, eh?”
“Uh-huh. Spikely?” Xander’s eyes were half shut now as the glue began to send him to sleep.
“Yeah?” Spike flung an arm – carefully – around Xander’s shoulders and pulled him back to rest.
“Do you think they unglued him from the seat yet?”
“Nope. Glued him down good and proper, luv. Don’t think anyone’s in a hurry to unstick him in the immediate future. Brat caused a right stir.” Spike tipped a nod to one of five others that were sitting in the ER waiting room with hand-to-bowling ball/hot dog/glue-related injuries. “He’ll be there for awhile.”
“…I think we’ll be here…for a while, too,” Xander said between yawns that nearly swallowed the whole room.
“Naaah. Shouldn’t be long now.”
“I dunno,” Xander said doubtfully. “Look.”
Spike looked up in the direction of Xander’s flapping hand. “What? Oh, bugger. Oi! We were here before the bus load of nuns! They’re not bleeding that much!”
TBC…
Take my advice: never go bowling on a first date. It only leads to trouble and strife.
“Oi! That pansy with the broken leg and crushed ribs came in after us!”
A trip to the Emergency Room isn’t much better.
“Spike, sit down and shut up before I shove this ball where no ball has ever been before.”
Spike gave a look.
“I don’t want to know,” Xander concluded. “Well, trust me, this ball is going to hurt you big time.”
“Charming, that is.” Spike folded his arms and looked away. “Only trying to help. Not my fault you got your hand glued in a bowling ball, is it?”
“No,” Xander said patiently. “But it is your fault that we nearly got arrested.”
“Yeah? How’s that, then?”
*Flashback*
“Come on, luv. It ain’t coming off. Let’s go to ER, yeah? Before you rip your fingerprints off.”
“Okay.”
“Sirs? SIRS?! I’m afraid you can’t leave the premises with one of the balls. They are the property of the Alley.”
“That a fact, mate? Think you can stop us?”
“Sir, I must insist that you…”
“GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”
“AHHHHHHH!!!!”
“GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”
“AHHHHHHH!!!!”
“GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!”
“Spike, NO!”
~CLONK~
*End of flashback. Obviously.*
“It weren’t me that hit the poor geezer,” Spike argued.
“It was you that scared him half to death. And technically it was you that hit him.” This was a good point.
“It was your bowling ball.” That was also a good point.
“Yes, but it was you that manipulated my arm and made me hit him with my new bowling ball appendage.” Very well put.
“…He got in my way.” The argument was becoming thin.
“Clearly. You could have just explained.”
“So could you.”
“That isn’t the point.”
“Yes it is.”
“Spike!”
“What? I was only trying to do my best for you. Only did it because I care.”
Xander melted. Not literally. The weather wasn’t that hot. And it was night. “You really care about me?” he asked softly.
“’Course. Didn’t want you to be in any pain. Just wanted to get you here quick as possible.”
Xander turned to fully face his date. “I guess that’s kinda sweet…” At Spike’s glare, Xander chose a new word. “…uh, manly. Thanks.”
“’Welcome. Like you a lot, you know.”
“I know. I like you too.” Xander leant in and touched his lips against Spike’s. The kiss was gentle and tender, slow and soft. A cool hand brushed his cheek and Xander lifted his own hand to…
~CLONK~
“OW! Bloody hell!”
“Oh, god, Spike, I’m sorry! I totally forgot about the ball!”
“How the sodding hell can you forget about that bloody great thing?”
“When I stare into your ocean-blue eyes, I forget everything.”
“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, you know? And my eyes are sky-blue, thank you very much. Ocean, indeed.”
“Sorry. Couldn’t resist. I did try – for a hundredth of a second. Then my willpower was no more. Totally out the window. You forgive me, right? For hitting you with the ball, not the sarcasm. ‘Cause, that’s just me – the sarcasm, that is, not the ball. I’m not like a ball. Not at all.”
Spike frowned and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Are you high?”
“No! A little bit, yeah. But I don’t remember smoking anything…”
“Must be the damn glue,” Spike interrupted before Xander could launch into something else that didn’t quite make sense. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the tube of glue that he’d confiscated from the unluckiest kid in Sunnydale.
*Flashback. Again. A Different one, though. Not the same one.*
“How the buggery bollocks have you got your hand stuck in a bowling ball?!”
“I don’t know! Someone must have put glue in it! Or maybe it’s some sort of magic…”
~snicker, snicker~
~slow and sinister head turn~
“You little toe rag.”
~kid blows raspberry~
“GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!”
“WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!”
*End of Flashback. I don’t really need to tell you that. If you observe carefully, you’ll notice that the italics have finished. It’s a clear sign.*
“Bollocks. Do not inhale,” Spike read. Not the bit about bollocks. It didn’t say anything about bollocks. Although I’m sure gluing them would be a mistake – just for future reference. “Bit late, eh?”
“Uh-huh. Spikely?” Xander’s eyes were half shut now as the glue began to send him to sleep.
“Yeah?” Spike flung an arm – carefully – around Xander’s shoulders and pulled him back to rest.
“Do you think they unglued him from the seat yet?”
“Nope. Glued him down good and proper, luv. Don’t think anyone’s in a hurry to unstick him in the immediate future. Brat caused a right stir.” Spike tipped a nod to one of five others that were sitting in the ER waiting room with hand-to-bowling ball/hot dog/glue-related injuries. “He’ll be there for awhile.”
“…I think we’ll be here…for a while, too,” Xander said between yawns that nearly swallowed the whole room.
“Naaah. Shouldn’t be long now.”
“I dunno,” Xander said doubtfully. “Look.”
Spike looked up in the direction of Xander’s flapping hand. “What? Oh, bugger. Oi! We were here before the bus load of nuns! They’re not bleeding that much!”
TBC…