Just Begun

Chapter 7

“How is it that I only went down once, but I still get covered head to toe with muck?”

Spike lifted an amused eyebrow.

“That wasn’t what I meant and you know it.”

Spike snickered and threw himself on the bed.

“Are you gonna let me shower and change in peace?”

A shake of blond curls.

“Right. Stupid question.”

Spike nodded and watched with an evil grin as Xander huffed and mumbled, complaining about sewer and taco stains.

**

Xander had his shower. It wasn’t the best shower he had ever had. It was the sort of shower that required a guy to jerk off to make it complete. That was a problem. The international winner of the most mischievous vamp award was lounging right next door and he would scent the arousal a mile off.

Xander leant against the tiles, letting the water spray lazily over his head while he pondered why he was feeling the urge to palm the priest. An attempt to kid himself lasted a full thirty seconds before he admitted defeat and faced the real reason. Angel. Angel was the reason. That hand on his back, the guiding arm around his waist, the concerned and intense gaze, the look of pride when he had watched Xander dispatch the king of the Kitti’pokskers... Every touch, every look, every glance had Xander fighting to keep his arousal at bay. It had only been the deliberate thought of sex with Giles that had kept the flag-pole down.

Why had this suddenly happened? One minute he hated the brooding vampire and the next he was desperate to drop to his knees in the middle of a sewer and suck him off. Okay, so maybe that wasn’t entirely accurate. It had been a long time since Xander'd had any real problem with Angel. In fact, he quite enjoyed the few times that he got to hang out with him. Winding people up was the best hobby a person could have and winding up Angel was enormous fun. Xander wondered if maybe that was why he got on with Spike so well, their love of Angel-baiting. But Xander had to admit now, there was more to it than that.

Oh fuck, Xander thought. I’ve got a crush on Deadboy.

**

Xander emerged from the shower, white as a sheet.

“Bloody hell, mate. You seen a ghost?”

“Worse.”

“Yeah?” Spike crossed the room and led a towel-clad Xander over to the bed. “What just happened, pet? You had a funny turn?”

“Um, yes,” Xander half lied. “I just started feeling really strange while I was in the shower.”

“Started feeling light-headed?”

Xander nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on an insignificant spot on the carpet.

“Were you cracking one off at the time?”

“No! No way. I couldn’t do it with you out here…I shouldn’t have said that. Stupid mouth.”

Spike smirked. “Hot for me, were you?”

“No!”

“Who were you hot for, then, hmm?” Spike asked, knowing full well what the answer was.

Xander opened his mouth to either deny or tell the truth. His brain was not going to decide until the last split-second.

A small tap at the door grabbed the attention of both men and Angel entered, carrying a large mug of tea.

“Ah, cheers, mate!”

“This isn’t for you. It’s for Xander.”

Xander peered into the mug and sniffed it. “Tea? Not coffee?”

“Coffee will stay in your system and keep you awake all night. This is hot, extra sweet tea. I thought maybe your energy levels would need a boost after today’s activities.”

Xander accepted the mug with a grateful smile and he took a small sip before setting it down on the nightstand.

“Where’s mine?” Spike demanded.

“Yours is downstairs. I thought Xander might want some privacy while he changes.”

Angel sent a few well aimed death-glares in Spike's direction. As much as Angel knew that Spike was not going to try anything with Xander, he still couldn’t help his compulsive desire to protect and guard. And besides, Spike was going to talk to Xander about his feelings on the subject of dating and smooching with tall, dark and handsome vampires. Angel was almost certain that Xander would laugh until his sides split and then tease Angel relentlessly until the end of time itself.

Spike knew what Angel was up to. He was going to try to back out. He had cold feet, thinking that his feelings weren't returned. And he wanted to pull his Grandchilde aside and tell him not to bother Xander with such things.

Nice try.

Xander was hot for it. Spike was certain. He had scented Xander’s reluctant arousal in the shower and he was positive that it was because of Angel. If the sexual tension in the sewers was anything to go by, then Xander definitely felt the same way about Angel as Angel felt about Xander. Spike wondered if the sudden realisation of sexual attraction was what had caused Xander to pale so suddenly.

Spike had a mischievous thought. “Actually, I’d better just go get my tea and bring it up here. Xander had a funny turn. He isn’t feeling well.”

The reaction was instantaneous.

“My god! Xander? What’s wrong? What’s happened?!”

“Huh? I’m fine, really. Nothing’s wrong.”

Angel studied his pale face. “You do look very unwell…”

“I’ll be fine. Really.”

Angel sighed and pulled up the throw from the end of the bed, wrapping it around Xander’s shoulders. “Then at least put this on. You look cold.”

Xander shivered and pulled the throw tighter around his half-naked form. Hey, he was a little cold.

Spike slipped away.

“What’s brought this on? Did you feel unwell earlier?”

“No, erm…I’m fine.”

Angel rested the back of his hand against Xander’s forehead.” Too cold. “Come on, under the covers for a while.”

“It’s really nothing,” Xander said a little sheepishly. “Just…”

“Just nothing,” Angel said as he pulled Xander up the bed and under the covers.

Xander smiled but resisted turning it into a record-breaking beam of sunshine and sugary-sweet happiness. It was nice to be coddled, even if it was for no real reason. “Thanks…Deadboy,”

Angel held back his own grin at the age-old insult that now made him feel like kissing his tormentor until they both saw stars. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep? You were woken abruptly this morning. You look tired.”

Xander nodded. Why was it that when people said you look tired or unwell you automatically agreed and felt the symptoms? Strange.

“Angel?”

“Yes?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay.”

“Angel?”

“Yes?”

“What are we doing today?”

Angel watched Xander’s eyes close in near sleep and he felt an urgent rush to kiss that lovely face and curl up around him for the rest of the day. “I need to make some adjustments to the potion. Join me later? I’d like to get another opinion on a few things and I think Spike would be about as much use as a goat in a spelling bee.”

Xander grinned at the imagery and let sleep overwhelm him.

**

Sleep lasted approximately forty five minutes.

“Oi! Wake up!”

“If I give you a small child to eat, would you go away?”

“Nah, children taste all rubbery. Now if you’d said ‘nice, juicy, virgin-arsed teenager’, then you might have had a deal.”

Xander sat up and propped himself on his elbows. “What the hell do you want now? Please don’t tell me there are more demons to deal with.”

“There are no more demons to deal with.”

Xander narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “Are you lying?” he asked.

“Surprisingly, no.”

“Is that, surprising that there are no demons or surprising that you’re not lying?”

Spike shrugged. “Take your pick.”

“I’d rather not. So what are you doing here?”

“Need to tell you something.”

“What?”

“That you’re a plank.”

“Well, that’s just lovely. Thank you so much for waking me and insulting me. If you’d just like to poke me with a stick, I think you’ll be all done.”

“You’re still a plank. Gonna ask why?”

Xander let his body fall back on the bed in a defeated slump. “Go on, then. Why?”

“’Cos you curled up like a baby and went to sleep, when you should have been jumping 'Deadboy's' bones.”

Xander sat up like a corpse that had just realised it had left the gas on. “Excuse me?”

“Why? What have you done?”

“Spike, be serious for once!”

Spike rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed. “You fancy Angel.”

Xander opened his mouth.

“Don’t bloody deny it!” Spike cut in before Xander could protest. “I can see it in the way you look at him, I can see it in your body, the way you tense up when he looks at you. I can see everything, Xander. Fuck, I can bloody smell it!”

“Firstly, please don’t extend on the smell thing, because, euw. And secondly…”

Spike turned sharply and fixed his friend with the most serious look Xander had ever seen on the vampire.

“You gonna lie to me, Xander, after all we’ve been through?”

Xander dropped his gaze. He had been about to lie. It had almost felt instinctive. But Spike was right. How could he lie to the best friend he’d ever had, the best friend that had supported him when his parents had kicked him out, the best friend that had shaken him until he believed in himself, the best friend that he would love until time itself ran out?

“No, I’m not going to lie. Not to you…this time.” Xander looked up with a mischievous grin and met Spike’s changing expression.

“Brat.”

“Yep.”

“Right, then. Give it to me, spill. Want the details.”

Xander took a deep breath. “I kinda have a small crush on Angel.”

Spike stood suddenly and whirled around to face Xander, pointing an accusing finger. “Ha! I knew it. I bloody knew it! I sodding told him and would he believe me? No, 'course not. Just wait ‘til I tell him…”

“Whoa, whoa, hold up there! You told Angel I liked him!”

Ooops.

“…No…no, not exactly. I told him that I thought you did.”

“Oh. My. God.” Xander cringed and covered his face with palms that were starting to sweat. “What did he say? No! Don’t tell me…He hates me, right? He probably wants me to go home now…I should just go…”

Xander attempted to stand but was pushed back by Spike’s hands firmly pressing down on his shoulders. “Sit.”

“Why?”

“Because Angel wouldn’t want you to leave…and your towel is about to drop off.”

“Oh, sorry,”

“S’okay, pet, nearly blinded me but not to worry. Look, remember who you are now. You’re confident, you’re strong and you’re sexy as hell and you fucking well know it.”

Xander smiled. “I am pretty hot.”

“There you go, then.”

“What did Angel say? Was he freaked?”

Spike started to walk backwards out of the room. “He doesn’t want to believe it.”

Xander felt his heart crack a little and he looked back down at the bed. “Oh.”

“He can’t believe that he could be that lucky.”

“Huh?!” Xander looked back up to fire a hundred questions at his friend. No such luck. Spike was nowhere to be seen.

**

Xander walked along the corridor and wondered why he felt so nervous. Okay, so he had feelings for Angel. Big deal. He’d had plenty of feelings for plenty of guys in the past. But none of them had made him feel this nervous. What was wrong with him?! Xander paced nervously back up the corridor and then paced nervously back down.

Stopitstopitstopitstopit!

If only he’d been able to find Spike. The annoying vampire had well and truly taken his leave and had left Xander to sort his own head out. That was no good. Xander had a million questions, a million things he needed to say and he needed to ask and say them now!!

Stupid vampire, saying dumb stuff and wandering off. When I get my hands on him, I’m gonna wring his scrawny neck. This Scooby is getting tough. This Scooby is going to get evol on that vampire’s ass…and why am I now thinking about Angel’s ass? Shit. Okay, it’s just a crush. Angel is just so...? Quiet. Irritating, even more so than Spike. Kinda arrogant. Self obsessed. Boring. Shall I go on? No, best not. So why am I having these feelings? Fuck! Where is Spike when I need him?! I so need to talk this through with someone.

“Hey, Xander.”

“Cordy!”

Wrong someone.

“Is something bugging you? You look…tense.”

“Me? Tense? Me? Naaaahh. Why would you think that?”

Cordelia pointed to Xander’s feet. “Because those things are wearing a groove in the carpet.”

“Oh, sorry. Yeah, it’s nothing. Just worrying about…Spike, “ Xander lied.

“Spike?!” Cordelia’s eyes widened with panic. “What wrong with him? Has something happened?!”

“No! Nothing happened. He’s fine.”

“Oh, thank all the gods. I don’t know what I’d do if…something happened to him.”

Xander had the battle of his life. He fought. He struggled. He tussled. Finally, biting his tongue, the massive wave of giggles retreated back down his throat and he forced himself to keep a straight face.

“You…you like Spike?”

Cordelia nodded. “Yes…and if you ever tell anyone, I’ll turn your ass into a plug socket!”

Xander held up his hands. “Your secret is safe with me. Does Spike know?”

“Of course he doesn’t know. What, am I just going to tell him so he can laugh in my face?”

“Hey! He wouldn’t do that. Spike may be a total bastard but he takes matters of the heart very seriously.”

“Really?”

Xander nodded. “You should tell him.”

“No! I couldn’t! No, no,” Cordelia said in voice that was suddenly thick with fear.

Xander had a question. “Why…why are you afraid? You’ve dated loads of guys, so why the sudden panic?”

Cordelia gave her friend a look that said ‘duh’. “Because it’s Spike.”

Xander pondered this for a moment and found himself thinking about his own situation. Why did he feel so nervous about Angel? Clarity struck like a pissed off cobra. “Because it’s Angel!” he said out loud.

“No, you moron, Spike! Angel, euww. As. If.”

“Cordy? You want me to mention something to Spike? Maybe I could test the water?”

Cordelia chewed on a manicured nail. “…would you?”

“Of course!”

“Be subtle,” Cordelia warned, pointing the chewed digit at Xander’s chest.

“Hey, subtle is my middle name. Well, it would be my middle name if my middle name wasn’t Lavelle. Of course, then my parents probably would have chosen something else…”

“Xander,” Cordelia interrupted, just to get him to stop.

“Sorry. You wanna go get a drink? I hear the kitchen serves great diet Coke.”

Cordelia smiled and slid her arms around Xander’s waist. “Sure. And you can tell me exactly when the hell you turned gay.”

**

Three diet cokes and four hundred and sixty eight questions later and Xander was positioned outside Angel’s door.

Breathe, Xander. You can do it. It’s only Angel.

Xander knocked on the door and waited. Hearing a muffled greeting, he took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hey, Angel.”

“Xander. I was just thinking about you.”

TBC…