Nobody's Home

I walk around the back of the building to the side pharmacy; I wait in line and watch people with their snot nose kids picking up cough syrups. I hand over my prescription and wait a few minutes when the woman hands over a bag of different vitamins.
“She said one a day” I announce worryingly.
“Yeah there are three types though and it’s to last for the whole 7 months” She tells me as if I’m stupid. I take the bag and sidle out of the shop and head back to Angel’s place.
I reach his wooden door and pick up a leaflet about recycling glasses; I open the door without knocking and continue to look at the pictures.

“Hey Angel do you recycle your jars of...” I look up and drop the bag I was holding. I quickly look down and snatch my bag close to me; I begin to retreat towards the door.
“Faith stop” she speaks to me softly.
“N...no...” I stammer I keep stepping slowly backwards.
“Faith she’s not going to hurt you” Angel says calmly stepping towards me.
“No you’re both going to kill me” I start to hyperventilate and fall to the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” I put my arms above my head to stop any blows to the head, I feel no pain but everything goes black anyways.

I wake up in Angel’s bed with him patting me with damp cloths. She’s sitting on the end of the bed smiling down at me.
“What happened? Did she kill me?” I quickly sit up in case she plans to try it again.
“Faith I just wanted to make sure you’re OK” she whispers believably “you fainted, that’s all, I didn’t touch you I promise” She smiles and I laugh softly at my own stupidity.
“It’s good to see you B” I nod and look up at Angel whose gaze tells me she doesn’t know the full story. I narrow my eyes as an indication I don’t intend to let her know yet either. He nods slightly and takes my pharmacy bag out of the room.
Buffy stands up and tells me I should rest before following Angel out of the room.

I wake up one morning 2 weeks after B’s visit, I pull my hair up into a raggy bunch with a band and walk into the front room, out the corner of my eye I see myself in the mirror, I turn my head slightly and look at the reflection, I lift my top up to reveal the small bump protruding above my skirt, I breath in sharply to make my stomach flat again, but breathing out brings it back again. I tilt my head and rub it a little it feels firm but soft at the same time.

Just then Angel strolls in from the bathroom; I stand up quickly and drop my top.
“Oh err hi” I stammer looking around for something to do.
“It’s ok Faith, you’re allowed to be curious” He tells me in his consistent hum. I roll my eyes at him and drop down onto the sofa forcefully. I sigh heavily and wait for him to say something of more utter rubbish.
“Do you want to go shopping?” I look at him quickly that is not exactly what I was expecting him to say.
“What for?” I ask like a stubborn child.
“Clothes?” He replies monotonously. I look down at my almost tattering skirt and scummy vest top.
“What’s wrong with the ones I have?” I muse to him. He goes to speak but stops knowing that whatever he says next is going to offend me.
“Well…err…you’re going to need bigger clothes soon…” He says gently waiting for my response.
“You saying I’m fat there Angel?” I joke; he takes a sigh of relief knowing I’m not angry and strokes my hair as he passes through to the kitchen.

He comes back through with a bag of cookies for me and the leaflets I got from the doctors a few weeks ago.
“You want me to read these to you?” He asks opening up one of them. I open the cookies and nod getting into a more comfortable position and sit facing him as he begins to read aloud. I listen to the words penetrate my head, such confusing sentences about embryo’s and foetuses.
“Angel…” I stop him midway through the paragraph on premature lactation. He finishes the sentence and looks up at me.
“What’s the matter?” he puts the leaflet to one side and looks into my eyes.
“Do you…expect everything to be like…normal?” I ask biting my lip. His forehead scrunches confused.
“I don’t know what you mean Faith” I shift about to stop my foot going to sleep.
“Well…because its Spike’s….it’s not human is it?” I drop my head slightly; mental pictures of Aliens the movie start running through my head.
“I don’t know, only time will tell, but don’t forget you’re human, so chances are it will be relatively ok” He tries his best to make me feel better.
“Only…relatively…” I question his use of the word. He sighs slightly and holds my hand.
“Whatever it is, it’s yours and I’m sure you’ll love it no matter what…” He starts preaching.
“OK are we going for the whole my baby has two heads scenario?!” I interrupt him.
“No Faith I just mean that sure it may have vampire in it but it’ll still be yours and it will look normal” He drones on sounding a little unsure himself.
“This isn’t making me feel any better” I stand up and walk around rubbing my hands on my arms. “Just tell me it’ll be ok…that everything will be…ok…” I trail off becoming alone in my thoughts. Angel stands up and places his hands on my arms squeezing me reassuringly.
“Everything will be ok” He smiles and kisses my forehead. I nod my relief and sit back down for Angel to finish his baby lesson. He follows my lead and picks up the leaflet and begins to start off where he left off I smile and nod and continue my glazed over look of not knowing anything he is talking about.

“Faith…wake up Faith” I slowly open my eyes to Angel sit beside me patting my arm to awaken me.
“Wha…what’s the matter?” I slur from my sleep. I rub my eyes and sit up slowly in the bed.
“You’re going to be late for your appointment” he looks at his watch and gets some clothes out for me to wear. He bought these for me last week I didn’t have any choice in the matter.
I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom to wash myself down, Angel pops his head round the door. I don’t see his reflection in the mirror but I feel his presence and turn to look at him.
“I’ve put an outfit out on the bed for you” he gestures over his shoulder. I smile and nod and continue to splash cold water on my face. I walk into the bedroom and gasp at the clothes.
“Oh dear god!” I pick up the skirt and have the look of utter disgust on my face.
“What’s the matter?” He asks confused. I point down at the white skirt and lemon twin set and make a disapproving noise.
“I’m not Buffy…” I whisper as I start undressing from my Pyjamas, Angel frowns a little I shake my head and tell him it’s fine, and that they’ll do. He leaves me to dress and can’t hide the fatherly grin as I walk into the front room looking like a virgin.
“Don’t…” I laugh and stop him from saying something gooey. I grab my bag and kiss his cheek goodbye and head off to my doctors appointment.

I sit on the foam bed in the Obstetricians office; I lie back and lift my top up slightly, my stomach feeling bigger every breath. She walks over and squeezes the clear gel onto my stomach and rubs it around with the scan probe, instantly my baby’s picture appears on the screen, she does her usual typing on the keyboard and puts a line across to measure the baby.
“Five centimetres long” she says aloud and moves the probe around more, she mouths something to herself, the heartbeat I expect. She wipes my stomach down and heads back to her desk to make notes into my file, I pull my vest down and sort my skirt out before following her and sitting down. She takes my blood pressure and lets me know everything is fine.
“Have you been taking your vitamins?” she peers over her half moon glasses and taps her pen on the file.
“Yeah Angel makes me have them every day” I confirm for her.
“Angel...is that your sister?” she enquires, I laugh.
“Oh no, Angel is my friend I live with…he’s a he.” I stifle any more laughs as she breathes in sharply and makes more notes.
“Is that the father?” She tilts her head. I sigh, I wish he was.
“No, I got stung by the wrong vamp….van driver, but Angel’s good to have around in a sticky situation” I fill her with all the good guy crap. She seems satiated and marks in her diary my next appointment.
“Another 4 weeks, that will be the 4th June, is that ok?” She waits for me to confirm, I nod swiftly and she begins writing it down. I stand up and she walks me over to the door, I thank her for her time and she smiles as I leave. I get out into the fresh air and lean against a bollard outside, the sun feels nice against my pale cold skin, I head to the butchers for Angel and get him a few jars of fresh blood, on my way back I smell something really good, I look around and see a donut shop, I skip over and look at all the types of donuts they have, every colour icing, all different types of toppings, I look in my bag and get out the $5 pocket money Angel gave me. Ooh I’ll get so wrong if I spend it all on donuts…ah who cares I’m eating for 2! I run inside the shop.
“What can I get for $5?” I say excitedly, the young teen behind the counter tells me I can get 5 cups of little iced donuts or 10 normal iced donuts. Ooh choices choices.
“Well technically does that mean I can have 2 cups of small donuts and…” I search my head for the correct number.
“…6 normal, Miss” the teen states exasperatedly.
“Yeah I would have got there…” I bite back ….got there eventually at least. “Yeah I’ll do that then 2 small 6 normal” I hand over the $5 and watch as the girl sticks my assortment of donuts into a plastic box.
“Anything else Miss?” she asks finally. I take the box and shake my head before heading back to Angel’s flat.